The Hot Corner
by D Pattinson
Summary: ON HIATUS:Cousins, Bella and Emmett, are the owners of the Chicago Cubs. Edward is a free agent 3rd baseman looking for a new start. But with a hidden messy past, can these two work out their differences on and off the field? AH collab. between D Pattinson & LZTZ
1. I Remember You

**The Hot Corner**

**Author's Note****: This is the first fanfiction written in Collaboration between D Pattinson and LZTZ**

**Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to review at the end of the story. We look forward to constructive criticism. We have the first few chapters written already so updates should come fairly quickly.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**Prologue** **–I Remember You**

_Song Choices:_

_"I Remember You" by Skid Row_

_"Green Eyes" by Coldplay_

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****Bella POV****

Ahh... The start of another season. It was a bitingly cold spring day. The wind off the lake sent shivers down my spine, while the sun shone brightly in the sky. The crowds were filing into Wrigley Field with heavy coats and scarves. The high today was only expected to be 36 degrees; very cold for April. We had a busy offseason and the fans were most excited to see what our newest player would bring to our team.

As I stood at the window in the owner's box watching batting and fielding practice, I saw our new third baseman and our shortstop laughing and joking with each other. I was immediately struck with the memory of the first time that I ever laid eyes on Edward Masen; the boy with the most beautiful, emerald green eyes I had ever seen.

I will never forget that day, as it was the one moment that changed my life forever. You know how people talk about that "one _life-altering_ experience that changed the course of history?" Well that uncharacteristically sunny Wednesday afternoon on the Forks High School baseball bleachers, was "that day" for me. Even now, ten years later, I am still mesmerized at how my normally controlled universe was shaken. Scary? Hell yes, but well worth the ride that one day has led me on.

I remembered it like it was only yesterday. At times, I wished I was back at that small field where life was simple and pure. Now my life was inundated with cry baby, show-boating, egotistical athletes, who bitch like little girls over money, playing time, team rules, and whether or not they get invited to the right parties and events. _For crying out loud, boys! Grow a pair and move on! _Back then my greatest worries were how many times I would trip walking down the hall (Thank God, I seem to have grown out of that) and what my two best friends and I would be doing after school. Those were good times. Looking back, it was amazing how easy life was at eighteen years old.

With all my summers spent living and breathing baseball with my grandfather and my cousins, I thought it only natural to get involved with our Forks High School team. Not much of an athlete myself, due to my ridiculous clumsiness, I declared myself the official reporter of the team and wrote articles for the school paper. My friends, Angela and Jake, were at every game by my side. _Such dependable little minions, _I chuckled to myself. My, how I missed those two.

The team was terrible. I mean_ terrible!_ We hadn't won a game in any of the prior three seasons, but the school was abuzz about the new student who had moved to Forks during Spring Break. He was supposedly some big shot baseball player from California, that had already gotten a scholarship to USC.

I hadn't met him yet, but the rumors swirled about how attractive he was. I had never been interested in dating. I had a very solid life-plan, and I didn't need any distractions from that. My friends and family were all I needed. However, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I was a wee bit interested in meeting the infamous Edward Masen.

Sitting on those rickety bleachers, back in April of 1998, I was dazzled for the first time in my life. His green eyes sparkled when he smiled and joked with his teammates. God, that smile! It was the most beautiful crooked smile I had ever seen. We finally made eye contact when he went to catch a foul ball, and at that moment I knew my life would revolve around this boy for as long as I lived.

Looking at the man he had grown into now was no less intimidating. Many years had passed since I last looked into those green eyes, but I would recognize them anywhere. My heart beat a little quicker just thinking about them. What would he do if he found out I was now his boss? Then again, what made me think he would even remember me after he so casually threw me away? God, that boy broke my heart into a million pieces!

I wasn't sure I was ready to find out any of those answers quite yet. With this in mind, as the starting line up was announced and the Star Spangled Banner sang, I decided it didn't really matter right now. Giving myself a pep talk, I decided I would keep my distance and run this team like I always had. I was a very wealthy and successful business owner, who had long since let go of that young girl who was so easily dazzled by a crooked smile and sparkling green eyes. I was immune to the cocky mannerisms of most men, and Edward Masen would not have that hold on me any longer. I would treat him like any other player on my team. I would follow my favorite motto from the Godfather: "It's not personal, it's business." A fool-proof plan, if I do say so myself.

Watching Edward smile and wave to the crowd today was so similar to the first day I saw him. Honestly, the resemblance was uncanny._Dammit, Bella!_ Do not give in now. I must remember that I am no longer that girl from the small town of Forks. While I am a little jaded by life, I am ultimately proud of the person that I have become. Although I knew, if I really let myself, I could easily fall back in love with Edward Masen in a heart beat. But... _NO_! I have made up my mind that this _will not _occur again. There are no three strikes and you're out for me, as one time in the box with Edward was enough. T_hank you very much_! I simply needed to hold strong to my resolve for him and keep my head in the game.

After hearing the umpire yell "Play Ball," I took my seat and settled in to begin watching the long game below. Pushing the past aside, I easily gave myself over to the excitment of Opening day. With the sound of the first sharp crack of the bat, I smiled to myself and thought, _Let the games begin!_

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**A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Please remember to review and let us thank you properly for reading our story.**


	2. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**The Hot Corner**

**Author's Note****: Thank you, Thank You, Thank You for everyone who has added this story to their favorites and taken the time to review. We are so grateful for to all of you. We are trying hard not to disappoint. If you have any ideas for the story please let us know we may be able to work them in.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**Chapter 1- You Can't Always Get What You Want**

_Song Choice:_

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" by Rusted Root

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****Emmett POV****

"He is definitely the best on the open market right now," my general manager, Jim Hendry told me.

"Do you think he would be a good fit for our team? I mean, he's only three years younger than Ramirez," I said. "Of course, he is healthier and doesn't have that nagging shoulder injury."

Decisions, decisions. My GM was currently in Las Vegas working at the Winter Meeting. We didn't intend to go looking for a third baseman this year; we had signed Aramis Ramirez for a five-year deal in 2006, but after two shoulder injuries last season alone, we had been quietly looking at our options. We love the guy, but business is business, you know?

This is our year. I could feel it. The Chicago Cubs were more than due for a World Series Championship. Since my cousin, Bella, and I took ownership of the team two years ago, we had been slowly building one hell of a team. We had good depth in all of our positions at this point, which was exactly what was needed if we wanted to make it to the "big show." Most owners could put together a good team, but we were not looking to be good. We were looking to dominate the league. Because of this, we were really hoping our big acquisition would be Jake Peavy, as a team can never have too strong of a bull-pen or enough starting pitcher options, but that deal didn't seem to be in the cards for us. San Diego was just asking too much, and we simply were not willing to spend millions of dollars on a player while giving up so much good, young talent in the process. In all honesty, everything in California was over-priced, so it would make complete sense that a ball player would fit this pattern. Damn them! We wanted to be the best, but come on, just because we were young didn't mean we were stupid. They needed to get their heads out of their asses, off the beach, and use their brains for once!

Well, what happens when a deal you have been working so hard on looks as if it is heading down the drain at a lightening pace you ask? You drink a beer or two (or get shit-faced), shake your head at the situation, and move on like a big boy. In our case, moving on meant looking at all our options. These are things we had many of, but it was more than picking a needle out of a haystack. Bella and I were looking for that one player who could make a seamless transition into our organization and was willing to be a team player. Due to the fact that Bella had NO patience for "hot-dogging" around on the field, I needed to make sure that the next option was the best. I already had to hear about my decisions from Rose, so help me God, I didn't want to hear about them from Bella too. She may be a tiny peanut, but DAMN she can pack a giant size punch!

Cue Edward Masen. He's a quality player and certainly the Diamondback's star. He was a Gold Glove third baseman, consistently had a batting average right around .300 and had over thirty home-runs in each of his last six years of play. However, he would require a significant monetary contract and probably wanted signed for at least eight to ten years. We needed to see if he was willing to make the transition from being the center of attention, to being a player able to come to the field day in and day out to do his job.

With this in mind, the question of the day was why did the "Golden Boy" want out of Arizona? Inquiring fucking minds wanted to know, because the answer could unlock a world of mysteries. There was no question the Diamondbacks had been abysmal over the last three years, but Masen was their captain and practically a celebrity in his own right. The baseball community was surprised when he opted out of his contract and his agent, Jasper Whitlock, filed for free agency. In all honesty, the only news that would trump this was if Derek Jeter decided to leave the Yankees. And that was _never _happening. So yeah, this was a big deal. Because of this, we needed to move on this deal as quick as a lion cub would pounce on a mouse, if we wanted to snatch him off the market.

_Hold on folks because it was time to negotiate!_ I loved this part of my job. In the end, all rounds would go to us.

"Well, I'll discuss it with Bella and see what she thinks," I told my GM. We would definitely need to look over the finances and see if we could open up that kind of money. "Why don't you go ahead and give Whitlock a call and see what he's looking for, Hendry."

"No problem. I'll give you a ring back later tonight, Mr. Cullen."

Now to call Bella and see what she thought of the situation. We always made unanimous decisions, as we were equal partners in the business. Our Grandfather Swan had been the owner of the Cubs for many years and both Bella and I had studied Sports Management in college, so we could have active roles in the organization. Feeling the need to be a little _over-achiever_, Bella also decided to show my ass up by double majoring in Accounting. Because of this, she had sort of taken over the finances of the team. Although we had an accounting department, it is good to know that she understood the numbers' side of the operations. Better her than me! This left me as more of the face of the organization, and that worked out just fine for me. I mean, have you seen this face?

Sadly, when our grandfather passed away two years ago we, along with my sister Alice, inherited the team.

The team rightfully should have gone to our parents. Bella's father Charlie, had been Vice President of Operations and was ready to take over the team when the time came. Unfortunately, Charlie was killed in a boating accident on the lake many years ago. My mother, Esme, had never quite taken to the baseball business. Her only interest was the striking young, team Orthopaedic Surgeon that caught her eye about 32 years ago. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was my father and was still the team's surgeon.

Bella, Alice, and I spent every summer here at Wrigley Field, even after Bella moved to Washington. Our grandfather was an amazing man. In business, he was very old-school, a take no prisoners type of approach. He was ruthless but extremely well-respected. As a family man, he was a teddy bear. He adored having us kids with him at all times. He was also smart enough to invest in some fledgling company stocks for us when we were little. All three of us graduated from college as millionaires thanks to my grandfather and Steve Jobs' Apple Corporation. Bella and I learned the business from the ground up while shadowing him. Alice on the other hand, well, she was always more interested in redesigning the team's uniforms. _Oh, Alice._

My sister, like my mother, had never shown any interest in the baseball world. Don't get me wrong, she loved to catch a game now and then, but her heart was always in fashion. Bella and I had bought Ali out of her part in the team, much to her pleasure. She now had even more money to dedicate to her true passion. She was currently the lead buyer at Bloomingdale's in downtown Chicago, which worked out well for us, since Bella and I had to attend a great deal of social functions. Alice's long-term goal, though, was to open her own boutique on North Michigan Avenue.

Bella answered after the first ring. "Hey Em. I hope you like your present tonight. So what's up? Did you talk to Hendry?"

Present? What was she talking about? God, I hoped Rose went lingerie shopping again.

"Yeah, the Peavy deal is dead," I said matter of factly. "They're just are asking for too much in return. It's not worth it for us."

"I agree. The minor league prospects they want have too much potential for us to part with all of them. Anything else? Did he have any other suggestions?" she probed.

"Nothing in the way of starting pitchers, but we did discuss the possibility of Edward Masen as a free agent. With Ramirez's shoulder problems, we really need to look at our options at third base. Hendry is going to talk to his agent and get an idea of what they want. What do you think?"

There was an immeasurable moment of silence on her end. "Bella, you still there?"

"I'm here," she croaked out in a voice that was no more than a whisper.

She sounded out of breath. _Hmm, weird._

I heard her clear her throat and finally speak after another seemingly long pause. _"I don't know, Em. He's definitely a good all-around player, but do we really need another player with that type of ego? I am willing to look over our contracts and see what we have available, but I just don't see it working out."_

I have heard her use this statement many times, but in this case there was something about the way she said it that was different. There was an edge to her voice that I hadn't heard before. And she still sounded out of breath. _Odd._

Okay, something was definitely up. Bella was _not_ known for having a tight pocket when it came to spending money. We didn't have the type of money that a team like the Yankees had, but believe me, we pushed our flow as far as we could. In addition, we had just secured some great new advertising sponsors, (thanks in great part to my beautiful fiance Rose, who was the director of our marketing department) so this really should not have been an issue. I needed to get to the bottom of this and fast. _Time to play Inspector Emmett._

"What are you talking about Bella?" I asked in an inquisitive tone, hoping to get to the root of her aforementioned statement. "Did we lose one of our new sponsors? Is the deal with Under Armour completely irresolvable? When we talked last week, we still had roughly $30 million available to spend per year. There is no way he is looking for a contract that big."

"The deals are secure. Look Emmett, I just don't like him as a person. I don't know if he has the right image for our team. He is a perpetual playboy," she quipped with an irritated tone. "And let's be honest, we already have our hands full with all of Milton Bradley's antics."

"_Well, I want him._" If she was going to give me half-ass reasons, I was going to get to the root of her attitude with Edward Masen. Two can play this game! _"The reasons you have given me so far to not acquire him are complete bullshit, Bella and you know it. So why don't you give me the real story. Did_ _Phil say something bad about him?_"

Phil Dwyer was Bella's stepfather who, incidentally, was also the hitting coach for the Arizona Diamondback's. His presence in the organization could certainly give us an edge with Masen. I knew Phil had worked closely with him since he had come up from the minors and it was widely known that Masen truly respected Phil as a mentor.

"Umm, no, he hasn't mentioned anything I can think of off hand, but I can ask him again," Bella replied.

Why was she digging for excuses not to sign him?

"Look Bella, we don't often disagree about the players on this team. We both want the best available. Edward Masen is the best available. So if you are hiding something, it would be best if you just came out and said it. Stop beating around the bush for God's sake! The reasons you have mentioned so far are pathetic and deep down, you completely know it. We don't have the time to play around with this because another team will come and swoop him up in an instant. We need to have at least one big name acquisition this off-season; you know this. We have the money to offer him and the position open to put him in. We have a team that is, without a doubt, a playoff contender. We also have the advantage of Phil's influence. Bella, come on now, we have a _real shot_ here with him."

My patience was definitely wearing thin with my dear cousin and her lack of _real _reasons against this deal. Moreover, it had been a long week and thus far, nothing was going according to our plans. I didn't want to fight with her, but I was wound up tighter than a rubber band and was about to snap.

"Tell me right now, Bella, what is it that you have against Edward Masen?"

Come hell or high water, I was getting to the bottom of this and fast!

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**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Again, we beg you, please, please, please review. We promise not to keep you waiting long on Chapter 2.**


	3. Breathe

**Authors Note: Wow! You guys continue to amaze us. Thank you to all those who have favorited this story. That means the world to us. Please don't forget to review at the end. Good or bad we really want to know.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 3 - Breathe**

_Song Selection: "Breathe" by Lea Longo_

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****Bella's POV****

"_It's a beautiful morning, mmmmmmm. I think I'll go outside for a while!_" were the lyrics blasting through my alarm clock on this typical Friday December morning. While I would normally welcome such a sunny disposition any other day of the week, for some reason today, I seriously woke up on the wrong side of the bed, unable to breathe. It was only eight o'clock in the morning, but I was as grumpy as a bear waking up after a long season of hibernation and had a tight feeling in my chest, a constant thorn in my side for years. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ No worries, I was sure this crabby-ass funk I was in would evaporate as quickly as it arrived. _Mind over matter, mind over matter..._I had to keep chanting to myself in hopes that this would eventually be the case.

After lying in the most comfortable bed in the world (and this is no lie, I am _telling_ you) for a few moments longer, I decided that it was time to start my normal routine. I rolled onto my side to stare at the picture of Jake and me on our wedding day six years ago. Looking at it always made me appreciate how truly beautiful life was, considering that I was still here, able to enjoy it. You would never know it, but that picture was taken just five months before Jake passed away from a complication of heritable disease known as Marfan Syndrome. Thinking back on that day always made me smile, especially because my Jacob looked so happy. Even knowing that he had very little time left, anyone could see the pure love in his brown eyes. Because he was always my rock and would moved heaven and earth for me, it was only natural that I did the same to make his only wish come true. I married him. Until his last breath, our relationship was one of purity and enjoyment of life's little gifts.

_God, I miss my best friend._ I quietly sighed to myself.

"_Morning, Jake! Hope you have a great day up there,_" I stated in the cheeriest voice I could muster. Looking at the picture, I smiled and instantly felt my mood lift a little. Hmm, looked like my little "mind over matter" pep talk was_actually_ working.

Once my little conversation concluded, I proceeded to throw my thick down comforter off me as quick as a whip, slipped into my pink fluffy slippers waiting for me at the side of the bed, and wrapped myself in my favorite red terry cloth robe. Although I could see the sun peeking through my closed curtains, I knew that Chicago weather, especially in the middle of December, could be deceiving. Due to the fact that I loathe feeling cold, (_ironic right?)_ I erred on the side of caution and immediately bundled up before starting the rest of the day. Coupled with the fact that I was still a little pissy at the moment, there was no need to tempt fate and become chilled as well.

Once the feeling of warmth spread throughout my body, I began the rest of my normal morning routine. While some people like to rush around in the morning, I prefer to take a more tranquil route and start the day off with a nice cup of Oregon Chai Tea. I don't know why, but the absolutely delicious mixture of all-spice and pumpkin pie, splashed with a touch of vanilla always gets me going. While I am not a breakfast eater, (_sorry, Mom)_, I can honestly say that I am addicted to my morning drink of choice. Aside from the fact that it is warm in temperature, the aroma it gives off has an oddly calming effect on me. With every sip, I immediately feel as if I am sitting in my grandmother's house on Thanksgiving or Christmas morning. Although I am no longer able to experience these days in person, the memories alone lift my spirits and place a smile on my face. Inhaling the heavenly aroma of the loose tea in the canister, I realized these are the PERFECT scents for the current holiday season. Hmm... I began to feel the need for a little Christmas shopping this afternoon. _Nice._

Once happy with my plan for the day, I took a few minutes to boil the water and create my own morning piece of heaven. I knew the time had come for me to open my curtains and greet the wonderful citizens of Chicago. So, without further ado……………….

"_Hello Chicago! Don't get blown over by the wind today_," I loudly giggled from my penthouse condo on the 57th floor of The Peshtigo. I figured some forced cheerfulness might help my doom and gloom mood.

I know without a doubt that I have one of the absolute best views of the entire city. From my windows, I have a breathtaking sight of Lake Michigan, Navy Pier, and various parks and buildings. In the morning I am able to see the sun rise over the water and at night, the city looks magical with all of its lights. _God, I love my life!_

Looking at the beautiful view usually put me at complete ease. Not today of course. _Why won't this fucking, annoying pain in my chest go away?_ I thought in a rather exasperated tone.

Chalking up my unusually wound-up state to the Winter Meetings, which were ending today, I decided to have a seat on my plush, comfy couch and watch a little T.V. Being single definitely had one advantage-- always being master and commander of the remote control. Still not knowing where my head was at this morning, I decided it was best to flip through the channels one by one.

"_Great. 150 channels and absolutely nothing is on,_" I groaned aloud.

As I refuse to watch the news (_it is so depressing and nothing new or remotely positive is ever happening_), I decided to flip on the TiVo and watch a recorded episode of _The Starter Wife_. For whatever reason, this show always makes me smile and is oddly relatable. Although I thoroughly enjoy watching Molly take her weaselly ex-husband's ass to the cleaners in the end, this is not why I identify with her. I think the element I connect with most is her ability to roll with the shit thrown at her and stay true to herself.

"_Shoshonna's a good girl who just wants to come out and play!_"

I laughed out loud at the screen. That line gets me every time. Oh yes, she was _such _a good girl! She went after another woman's man. _Stupid, trifling bitch!_ Shoshonna reminded me of someone I once knew, but I _always_ had a difficult time pin-pointing who. Okay, maybe I didn't, but I was already in a pissy mood and thinking about Lauren wasn't going to help the situation. Pushing away those thoughts, I felt my mood lift and the tightness in my chest ease up a bit.

I inhaled deeply and decided I should try and force myself to be a productive member of society today. Most of the time this consisted of going into my office at Wrigley Field. Being the owner of a major league baseball team was not as glamorous a job as it sounds. My long list of duties included working through the various player contracts, stadium and practice facility leases, ticket and luxury box sales, advertising deals and media broadcasting rights. _Phew! _Not to mention the amount of social obligations I was required to attend on a regular basis.

Emmett and I had been trying to work out a trade with San Diego for Jake Peavy for the past few weeks. He was a Cy-Young award-winning starting pitcher, which our team could _certainly_ use. Unfortunately, the trade was becoming more and more complicated as additional teams got involved. As new owners, Emmett and I felt the need to make a mark with the team and the community. It was important that our family legacy and reputation live on. We wanted nothing more than for our grandfather to be proud of us. For this reason, we were really trying to sign a big name player during the offseason.

The stress of this deal and some advertising legalities were really wearing on my normally calm self. What I really needed was to take a day for myself. Since our GM was in Las Vegas for the Winter Meeting and Emmett was planning on being in the office all day, I decided today was as good a day as any to take off. Em could easily reach me around noon on my cell after the Meetings wrapped up. So, what's a girl to do on a cold and windy day in Chicago, you ask? Well, go shopping of course! _Hello!_

Before I could call my trusty shopping partner, Rose, I first needed to ring the office to let them know that I would be out for the day.

"Good morning, and thank you for calling the Chicago Cubs organization. How may I help you today?" the warm and pleasant voice on the other end of the receiver answered.

"Good morning, Tanya. This is Bella and I was just calling to let you know that I will not be in the office today. I have decided to play a little hooky," I said with an extra emphasis on the last part of the statement, as this was something I very rarely did. I was a self-proclaimed workaholic and proud of it. If there was a Girl Scout badge for this, I would rock that green sash everyday.

"Well, good for you, Ms. Black! You deserve it, and don't worry, I will let Mr. Cullen know. Have fun today and I will see you on Monday," she genuinely responded.

"Thanks Tanya. Please let everyone know that I will be checking my Blackberry for emails and I can be reached by phone if needed." Secretly, I was hoping that everyone would just leave me alone for the day. Not like that would ever happen, but hey, a girl can wish!

"Have a nice weekend, Ms. Black," and with this, our quick conversation came to a close.

After giving Tanya the heads-up regarding my plans for the day, I decided to drop Rose a text about my little shopping adventure for the day.

**Wake up bitch! **

**I'm thinking of hitting North Michigan Avenue. **

**You in? ~Bells**

Always quick on the draw with her responses, I received the following reply a few seconds later:

**Good morning to you sunshine, and hell yea! **

**I have to finish up a conference call with Under Armour. **

**Making good progress by the way. Meet you at La Perla at 10. **

**Emmett has been a VERY good boy lately! ~Rosie**

One thing about Rose is that she loves the lingerie from this store. The thousands she drops there every year could keep a small country afloat.

"Holy Shit! It's nine-fifteen already and I am still in my bath robe!" I loudly yelled after looking at my watch. I'd better get my ass moving if I was going to meet her there on time.

I sprinted to the bathroom, stripping on the way, turned on the shower, and jumped in. In record speed, I was in and out, and ready to tackle my closet. While in my younger days I did not have an obsession with my wardrobe, this was no longer the case. My cousin Alice could be thanked for that. Her encouragement for me to be a little more risqué with my wardrobe had led to quite a shopping addiction. As I became older, I had found an odd sense of empowerment in the way the perfect outfit made me feel and since I still couldn't fully shake the mood I was in, I knew that my choice of clothes needed to be kick ass.

"What to wear? What to wear?" I asked myself while tapping my index finger on my cheek. "Where is Clinton Kelly when I need him?"

After staring blankly for a few seconds, I swore I saw a light shining from above pointing me to the perfect outfit. Through this epiphany, I decided to wear my favorite pair of _7 for All Mankind_ dark blue skinny jeans, a black v-neck cashmere sweater layered with a winter-white camisole, and black calf-high Prada boots. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself! Once dressed, I quickly gave my hair the once over with my blow-dryer and threw on my black tweed Newsboy cap. I brushed on a little power and blush, gave my eyelashes a sweep of mascara, and completed the look with my favorite Jessica Simpson lip-gloss. The taste of that gloss was decadent.

Having only fifteen minutes to spare, I quickly grabbed my purse, coat, and keys. After locking up and heading down to the first floor of my building, I was immediately greeted by Seth, the building's manager.

"Good morning, Ms. Black. I hope you have a great Friday," he stated in a friendly tone.

After giving him a quick wave, I made my way to the parking level of the building. Once in my black Porsche Cayenne, I threw that baby into drive and pulled out of my spot like a bat out of hell. Because North Michigan Avenue was only two minutes from my building, I was fairly confident that I would make it to La Perla on time, but parking could be an _entirely_different issue. I quickly hit number three on my bluetooth speed dial, figuring I would multitask while looking for parking. I left a brief message for my cousin Ali, letting her know Rose and I would be stopping by to bring her lunch around one PM or so, and to see some of the designs she had found.

After finally finding a parking spot in a city garage, I braved the cold, windy weather, and was greeted by my friend who was now a _tad_ annoyed. When Rose had her hands on her hips and was tapping her toe, it was usually a safe bet that she was a little pissy. Rose looked stunning as usual. She was tall with gracefully long, thin limbs and curves in all the right places. She had full head of silky long blonde hair. And of course, she was always dressed in the most trendy fashions.

Rosalie and I had gone to Northwestern together and were roommates and best friends. I had brought her along to a few Cubs games with me in college and that was how she met Emmett. They had dated ever since and were a perfect match for each other. She had just enough sass to counteract his playfulness and sarcasm. As great of a woman as she is, Rose had never been known for her patience.

"And where have you been, Missy?" Rose demanded.

Feeling like I was a five year old getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I meekly responded. "Parking was really hard! I promise it won't happen again."

"Sure, sure. I'll forgive you this time my friend, but don't let it happen again!" she laughed.

And with that, our shopping began. I was relieved to feel that ache in my chest evaporate and my mood brighten after only a few minutes with my friend. _Hallelujah!_

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Two hours and a few thousand dollars later, Rose and I _finally_ decided that we had done enough damage for the morning. We were going to meet up with Alice at Bloomingdale's after lunch. Seeing as I didn't eat breakfast, I was starving. After a quick debate, we decided to grab a bite at one of our favorite places, Elephant & Castle Pub.

Located just below the "L", it was a cute, cozy little restaurant. It had a British flair, with cobblestone floors and a painted tin ceiling. The walls were a dark wood and the stain glass windows lining the entire length of the building were really beautiful. Once entering the revolving doors, Rose and I were quickly escorted to our booth. After giving the menu a quick once over, I easily decided what my selection would be.

"Hello, my name is Mandy and I will be taking care of you today," our waitress said in a friendly tone. "Can I take your order?"

Famished, I quickly said, "I'll take a coke and the mushroom and chicken penne pasta, please."

Shaking her head at my choice, Rose proceeded by ordering a water with lemon, the chicken curry for herself, and the Sonoma Chicken Wrap to go for Alice.

"Bells?" Rose asked with an inquisitive voice. _"_Why do you always order the exact same thing every single time we come here?"

While I never really thought about this before, I chalked it up to simply liking the dish. For some reason, I found an odd sense of comfort in eating it. It was familiar and always made me feel as if I were really "at home," in every sense of the word.

"I don't kn…" I was interrupted mid thought by a call I was expecting from Emmett.

Giving Rose the "hold that thought" look, I quietly told her that I needed to take a call from her man. Because I was expecting news on the Winter Meeting and the Peavy deal, I knew that this couldn't wait until later.

"Hey Em. I hope you like your present tonight!" I chuckled and winked at Rose. "So what's up? Did you talk to Hendry?"

"Yeah, the Peavy deal is dead," he firmly stated. "They're just are asking for too much in return. It's not worth it for us."

While I was a tad upset about the news, it's not like I wasn't prepared for this possibility. In this business deals can go south very quickly. Athletes were always wanting more money than they're worth, and franchise owners were always trying to take advantage of another team's desperation for such players. _Over-inflated egos, all of them!_ Emmett and I learned at a young age from our grandfather that business is business and if you can't get a strong return on an investment, walk away. So, walking away is what we were going to do.

"I agree. The minor league prospects they want have too much potential for us to part with all of them. Anything else? Did he have any other suggestions?" I inquired.

I always liked looking in our farm system because those boys were _so_ hungry for their "call up" into the majors. Emmett and I were true believers in scouring the minors for unknown players who could fit nicely with our organization. Because of this, I was confident he would have a few options to replace Peavy.

"Nothing in the way of starting pitchers, but we did discuss the possibility of Edward Masen as a free agent. With Ramirez's shoulder problems, we really need to look at our options at third base. Hendry is going to talk to his agent and get an idea of what they want. What do you think?"

At that moment, my life came crashing down all around me. I felt like I was being pulled under. I couldn't place whether the sensation was more like sinking deeper and deeper into Lake Michigan or being pulled under by quick sand. All the background noise of the restaurant instantly faded. The walls started closing in around me as I felt my chest tighten and my breathing speed up.

_Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? _I panicked to myself. My heart was beating out of my chest in a completely erratic fashion. There had to be some glitch in the universe! There was no way Edward Masen could come here.

While always a part of my subconscious, I had desperately tried to not think of Edward in ten years, which remarkably, I was very good at accomplishing. After seeing him and that bitch-face Lauren together, a little (well more than a little) piece of myself died and had never recovered.

_How could I face him? Would he remember me? Would he be with Lauren? Does he know how much I loved him? Does he even care? _I thought a million miles a minute. I was starting to hyperventilate. I hadn't had a panic attack in years, well ten to be exact, but I definitely felt one coming on.

I had seen Edward Masen from afar many times in the past five years. It was unavoidable with him playing for one of our rival teams in the National League. I had always tried to busy myself when the Diamondbacks came to town. I kept my distance. Always finding some work to do in the office during those games or skipping the games altogether. He had never seen me, I was sure of that.

As I felt my world spinning out of control, I vaguely heard Emmett's voice asking me if I was still there.

I knew that I needed to regain my composure and fast. _You're not eighteen anymore! You're not eighteen anymore! _I silently repeated to myself. I finally gave Emmett some shit about Edward being an ass or a playboy, and him not fitting into our organization. To be honest, I was babbling so fast and nervously I don't even know exactly what I told him. I felt all of the air within me leave, as my chest became the tightest it had ever been. I knew Emmett wasn't going to let this go without a fight and that scared the hell out of me.

Lord knows, I'd already played ball with Edward Masen once, and I struck out miserably.

Once was enough. It had to be.

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**A/N: Don't forget to let us know what you think. We need reviews and I can promise new chapters come faster that way. Hint, Hint.**


	4. Blurry

**Author's Note****: Once again, we want to thank all of you who are sticking with our story and reviewing for us. We would love to get more reviews (please, please!). I know a lot of you are ready to get into the story of Edward and Bella. You will get a little taste here, but the whole story won't be out for another 2 chapters. Bear with us, please! It is important to get this story set up correctly in order for it to be believable.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 4- Blurry**

_**Song Selections:**_

_**"Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd**_

_**"Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd**_

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_*****_***Edward's POV****

_Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep_.

_What is that noise?_ I was awoken from a dreamless slumber. The fucking alarm clock was going off. Why it was going off, I had no idea. _It's Saturday for Christ's sake._ I slammed my hand down on top of it, in the process knocking a half empty bottle of red wine on the carpet. _Fuck_. This day was already off to a sensational start. I stared at the deepening red stain saturating my white bedroom carpet. I couldn't even bring myself to care. I took a deep breath as I felt my head start pounding. _Great. Another hangover_. The details of last night were extremely fuzzy. I rolled over towards the middle of the bed and saw the tiny, dark haired woman lying on the pillow next to me. She had red lipstick smeared around her mouth and dark mascara smudges under her eyes. I had no idea what her name was or how she got here, but I was pretty sure I knew what happened.

I groaned and decided to get up and find some Advil. My social life was as monotonous as my career. Game after game. Different city after different city. Random woman after random woman. It was like _Groundhog's Day_. The scenes were different, but it was always the same outcome. My dad would have been so disappointed if he could have seen how my life turned out. And yet again, I couldn't make myself care enough to change it.

I felt lost. I was drowning in my own self-induced misery. I was angry, sad and apathetic all at the same time. I saw my credit card bills sitting in a pile unpaid on my counter as I passed through the kitchen. It certainly wasn't that I didn't have the money to pay them; I just couldn't make myself sit down and read over them. I would be forced to face the reality of what my life had become. My agent and best friend from college, Jasper, had recommended I start to see a psychiatrist to work through my issues. He was worried it was going to start interfering with my career. Truth was, I wasn't sure I cared if it all ended. The game I once loved and reveled in had long since waned in interest to me. I swallowed three Advil and chased it down with some wine left in a glass from last night. _Ugh, disgusting!_

I sat down on my couch and flipped on the TV. There was absolutely nothing on worth watching. As I continued to flip through the channels I thought about how this therapy was hardly doing me any good. I saw the sports psychiatrist twice a week. He was the one who had suggested a change in scenery might be good for me. Jasper agreed it might be a good idea, and it would work out well, since my contract was up at the end of the season. I subsequently turned down a multimillion, multiyear deal from the Diamondbacks. Not that I cared about the money, I had plenty of it. I wasn't sure a change of scenery was really going to fix me, but I was too indifferent to care to argue about it.

I had done a pretty good job of hiding my "_depression,"_ as my psychiatrist called it, from my manager and teammates throughout the season. I was still the ever-encouraging captain of a team that had seriously faltered in the past year. I showed up on time everyday and played hard, hoping to lose myself in the game. I went to additional hitting and fielding sessions to keep myself from wallowing in my own pity. The team thought I was trying to set an example for the younger players by never giving up on our abysmal season. Truthfully, however, my self confidence was at an all-time low. I figured the extra sessions could only help me to continue to perform at the level everyone was used to. Personally, I wasn't sure I could handle a hitting slump in my current mental state. That might be the straw that broke the camel's back. In other words, it may have broken me to a point of no return.

I was drafted in the first round by Arizona in 2002 after graduating from USC and winning the Dick Howser Trophy as the national collegiate baseball player of the year. I made my debut with the young team about one year later after rising rapidly through the minors. I quickly became, as the media referred to me, the team's "Golden Boy." It was a lot of pressure but something I took to with a passion. Two years later I was bestowed with the honor of captain of our team. I did what was expected of me- hosting charity events, participating in the Make-A-Wish program, hosting youth league camps, etc, etc. _Blah, blah, blah._ I was always congenial in public and, despite my reputation for being a playboy, was considered a role-model for the kids of Phoenix. But as time went on, I realized something was missing from my life. I couldn't figure out what that was, though. I was disgusted with myself, but I tried to ignore the nagging feeling for years. That all abruptly changed about six months ago.

Realizing I wasn't going to find anything better than Sports Center on the TV, I flipped to ESPN. Most of the news was football and hockey related, but I knew news from the Winter Meetings would be on eventually. I let my mind wander back to June of our last season.

The team had traveled to Seattle for an interleague series. After the final game, I was in the parking lot to sign autographs for fans when I saw her. Her chin-length platinum blonde hair looked similar to her style back in high school. She realized immediately when I recognized her. She had that same smug smile plastered to her face just as she always had. I took a deep breath knowing I had no choice but to talk to her at this point.

"Hey, Lauren, right? We went to high school together?" I begrudgingly smiled out.

"Eddie Masen! I _knew_ you would remember me," she snidely remarked and then giggled. "I _am_ pretty unforgettable. Especially after that amazing night together. I can't believe you didn't call me after that. I know I had to have made an impression on you and I'm not talking about the one I left on your neck," Lauren giggled again. "You always were so mysterious, though."

_Ugh!_ I felt my stomach begin churn at her words. First of all, I _hated_ the name Eddie. My Mom was the only one I let call me that. Secondly, Lauren had no idea the mark she made on my life. It definitely wasn't a good one, however. I knew I had to get out of there, and fast, or I might seriously get sick.

"Well, it was good to run into you, Lauren, but I have to get going," I lied. "We have a long flight to New York tonight."

In reality, we weren't leaving for New York until morning, but by just looking at the woman who had single-handedly ruined my life ten years ago, I felt myself getting insanely irritated. As years of pent up anger bubbled to the surface, I clenched my fists at my side, turned abruptly and continued walking with my teammates out to our bus.

I knew, deep down, the anger should have been directed more towards myself. I had let my emotions and jealousy get the best of me that night ten years ago. I tried to drink my sorrows away at the graduation party held down at the Reservation. My heart was aching for my ailing father and my girlfriend had made other plans with a friend.

_Bella_. _My beautiful, sweet Bella._ I made it a point to try not to think about her too much. She was the only good thing I had in my life at the time. She was my rock, my one constant, and I threw it all away for one drunken night that I didn't even remember and with a girl I had always despised. _God, I am such a bastard._ How my heart ached just thinking about her.

_Bella._ I had never really gotten over her. I even tried to look up _Isabella Swan_ a few years ago, but couldn't find anyone with the name on Google. Hell, once in a pathetically weak moment, I thought about finding her friend Jake to see if he could help me track her down, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember his last name. _Damn Lauren!_

Lauren had always thrown herself at me in school. She flirted shamelessly with me in front of Bella, which always made the both of us very uncomfortable. She was _considered_ the prettiest, most popular girl in the school, but she had the ugliest personality I had ever known. She would step on anyone in her way to get what she wanted. I had always tried to keep my distance from her.

That night, I had felt my world crumbling. My father's health was deteriorating quickly. I wasn't handling it well at all. My father had been sick for some time with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He had beaten it once, but when it came back, the medicine seemed to stop working. I made it a point to not really tell anyone about him when I moved into town. I thought it would be easier to make friends that way. I wanted to see Bella. I wanted to finally tell her about my father. I wanted to tell her I loved her. I wanted to apologize again for being such a dick to her a few days before that.

There were so many things I wanted to do/say/feel that I got anxious and overwhelmed. I decided to have a few drinks to take the edge off my nerves. But instead, I got drunk. Piss drunk, like blackout drunk. Lauren took full advantage of my inebriated state and dragged me out to the beach with her. I didn't remember a god-damned thing from that night. When I woke up the next day, I had a message on my cell phone from Bella. The words haunted me to this day.

"_What...how...Edward, why? Why would you do this? Why now? I don't...I don't understand what I did wrong_. _I needed you!_" Her voice was so broken. The pain in it sent shivers up my spine. "_Obviously, you want this to be over. I can't bear to hear your reasons, so please don't call me or try to find me. You are both so important to me, didn't you see that? Looks like you chose for me in the end. I am leaving town and won't be back. Dammit, Edward! I loved you!_" A loud sob escaped her lips before the line went dead.

_What?_ _What did that mean? _I had no idea what I had done wrong or what made her so sad. She loved me? Bella had never said those words to me before. I knew it by her actions and gestures, but we had never said them aloud. I absolutely did not want what we had to be over. It was everything to me. I needed her. What did she mean she was leaving town? Was she going to Phoenix with her Mom? I was in a panic and was frantic to see her. I tried to call her immediately, but her phone was turned off. I called my teammate and closest friend in town, Austin, and he filled me in on the story. Bella had come looking for me at the party and found Lauren and I together on the beach, apparently in a fairly compromising position. She then ran to her car, tears streaking her face and took off. Her friend, Jake was the one to comfort her.

The news floored me. _What the hell?_ There was no way I would ever hook up with Lauren. How could that have happened? The last thing I remembered from the party was sitting at the bonfire with the guys having a few beers. Where did the night go wrong? The confusion, hurt and anger began to bubble up inside me. I was mad at Lauren for taking advantage of the situation, knowing full well I would never have agreed to it if sober. I was mad at myself, obviously. I had gone and fucked up the only good thing in my life that was left. I was mad at Bella for just leaving me and refusing to talk to me, even though it was probably justified. I was mad at Jake for being there to comfort her, as he always was.

_Jake._ He had been a thorn in my side. Not that he was a bad guy. In fact, I actually really liked him. But he had been best friends with Bella for the past seven years, and her loyalty always seemed to lay with him. Jake was never athletic although he could have been a star basketball player, I was sure. I tried to befriend Jake when Bella and I started dating, but I always felt like the third wheel. I hated all the private jokes and smiles that they shared. It was truly the first time in my life I ever felt jealous of someone or something. Maybe it had something to do with my already emotional state at the time, but I desperately wanted Bella all to myself. Jake would have none of that.

In fact, Bella and I had gotten into an extremely heated argument only two days before about Jake. I couldn't contain my jealousy anymore regarding him. I wanted her to choose. She couldn't keep dragging me on like this if he would always be most important in her life. Bella explicably told me to not ask her to do that; that I might not like the decision. I knew she was right. I knew as happy as we were together as a couple, I would lose. Jake had been there for her after the loss of her father and the move to Washington, in which she had to leave the rest of her family behind. They had a connection together, that was more than she and I could have established in the two months we had known each other. I didn't really want her to choose, anyway. I just wanted her, _only_ her. I wanted to establish our own deep connection together. We had made up afterwards, but I knew she hadn't really forgiven me for asking her to pick me over her friend. It hadn't escaped me that the message said that I had chosen for her.

I had to find Bella. I had to talk to her, had to hear her voice just once more. Even if it wouldn't make any difference, I knew I had to apologize. The self-deprecation in me was overwhelming. I went to Jake's house first. He would not tell me anything about Bella. I tried to bribe him, threaten him, beg him, my God I cried to him, but he held strong and wouldn't tell me where she was. The hate and disgust in Jake's eyes when he looked at me was overwhelming. I couldn't bear to face him anymore, so I gave up with him.

I tried Bella's friend Angela next. Angela was the most wholesome, good person I had ever known. I was always pleased Bella had such a wonderful person in her life. Angela could see the sorrow in my eyes. I was a broken mess by the time I had come to see her. She took pity on me and gave me a little information. She told me Bella had indeed left town. She knew she didn't go to Phoenix with her mom, but was with family. She said Bella traveled to Illinois every summer to stay with her cousins and had decided to leave right away after the incident at the party. Angela told me she hadn't seen Bella after the party, but Jake described her as inconsolable. I felt my heart break even more with her words. _What had I done?_ How could I hurt the person I loved more than anything else in this world?

I never saw or spoke to Bella again. A week later, my father passed away. My mother decided to move us immediately back to San Diego since the funeral would be taking place there anyway. My grief over Bella and my father was overwhelming. I was practically catatonic for the first three months. The only good thing from the situation was how strong my relationship with my mother grew to be. She is an angel. I would not consider myself to be a "M_omma's Boy,"_ but I do confer with her on almost all major decisions in my life. She has never led me down the wrong path.

The creaking door to my bedroom brought my memories to a halt. The girl I couldn't remember from last night was walking towards the living room. I desperately wanted to ignore her and pretend I couldn't hear her approaching. I was hoping she would take the hint and just leave.

She sauntered over to the couch and stood in front of me. I wished that I could be a prick like some of my teammates were, but ever the nice guy, I tried to smile up at her. The woman smiled back and sat down. Sensing some sort of implied invitation from my smile, she began prattling on about nonsense stuff. She seemed reluctant to leave my house, and nice guy or not, there was nothing else that was going to come of this relationship.

Over the past few months I found myself becoming more selfish. Taking what I _wanted_ from these women without a second thought, but never finding what I _needed_. I was so lonely and empty. Meaningless sex was just so easy. I had known meaningful, beautiful love-making in the past with Bella and these women could never carry a torch to her. Without her, my life was meaningless.

I turned to the woman with _all_ the sweetness I could muster, and said "I had a great time last night, Hon, but I have to go work out. Maybe we could get together again sometime soon."

She smiled and thanked me, then wrote her name and number down on a piece of paper by the phone. After a chaste kiss to her forehead, I watched her make the walk of shame down to her car. I looked at the paper she handed me. _Jane._ Sorry Jane, but you won't be hearing from me anytime soon, I thought as I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash.

I grabbed a bottle of water from my fridge and threw some bread in the toaster. I figured some carbs might help soak up some of this alcohol swimming in my blood stream. My cell phone started ringing and I went to find it. I could tell it was in the living room, but I had no idea where. I finally found it stuck between the cushions of my couch. The call was already lost to voicemail. I saw the missed call was from Jasper. The voicemail finally beeped and I called back to hear what he had to say.

"_Hey Edward, it's me. I got a call last night from the GM of the Cubs. They might be interested. Call me back when you get a sec and we'll talk logistics."_

Chicago. Well, that would definitely be a change of scenery. Except for my traveling with the team, I had never really been anywhere except the west coast. Chicago seemed like a cool city. There was always a lot going on downtown whenever we played. The weather would certainly be a huge change of pace. However, the biggest bonus would be living closer to Jasper. The agency he worked for was headquartered there, and it would be good to have him so close again. Maybe having someone I trusted so deeply close by would be good for my mental health.

I gave him a call back after I finished eating my toast. My headache was finally easing and I felt somewhat functional. He answered after the second ring.

"What's up, Bro? Hope I didn't wake you," he drawled.

Jasper was from Texas originally and had that southern twang to his voice that all the girls swooned over. We were quite the duo on campus back at USC. Jasper was tall with perfectly styled, curly blonde hair. Which was quite the opposite of my brownish-red hair that was always in complete disarray. _Never quite understood what the girls found so appealing about my hair, but I loved that they wanted to run their hands through it._ He looked liked like he should have grown up on the beach of Southern California playing beach volleyball. Both of us were built quite nicely for eighteen year-old college kids and we enjoyed working out together. We were roommates our first year since they tried to group athletes together, and hit it off immediately. Jasper played baseball with me our freshman year, but after realizing he was probably never going to start on the team, he decided to throw himself into school work. He graduated early and went to law school, focusing on Entertainment Law so he continued being involved in athletics. I vowed that if I ever made it to the bigs, he would be right there along side me, as my agent.

"Nah, I was already awake. Just finished taking out the "trash" and eating some breakfast." I couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped after my play on words.

Jasper groaned, _"_Edward, you have to stop doing this. I thought you were making good progress with the therapist" He sighed and then continued, "you need to be able to pass a physical when you finally sign with the new team, and your excessive alcohol intake is not going to bode well for you, you know."

"You're probably right, but I don't need a lecture right now. Just get to the point and tell me what happened with the Cubs," I snapped back, feeling my head starting to pound again. I_ am grown man for God's sake!_ I don't need this first thing in the morning. I instinctively began rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger, something I did when I got irritated or frustrated. A habit I picked up from my father.

"Fine, fine. Don't get your panties in a wad, Edward! Hendry called me last night. Says they are looking to replace Ramirez because of that chronic shoulder injury. It's pretty hush, hush right now. I think they need a name, too. You heard they backed out of the deal for Peavy yesterday?"

I hadn't heard that yet. The Cubs hadn't really made any big moves this offseason. I'm sure their fans would be disappointed in that news. Chicago had a legitimate chance of being a playoff contender next season. They had slowly been adding young talent to their team over that past two years. The two new owners were considered a force to be reckoned with.

"So the Peavy trade is completely dead? Interesting. Did they make you an offer over the phone?"

I could hear Jasper typing on his computer in the background. "Well, no, but if you are interested one of the owners wants to come down and meet with you in person. They apparently like to get to know their players to make sure that personality-wise, they would be a good fit for the team. I guess they are really hands-on."

"Really, the owner's coming down? Not the GM? Usually the GM's are the ones to handle that kind of stuff." They must be really hands-on. Then again, they obviously had a high stake in the players they were acquiring. I wondered why more owners didn't do that. "Well when are they planning on coming to town? You know I am heading back to San Diego to spend the holidays with my Mom."

"So you're interested then?" I could actually hear the smile in Jasper's voice. "This would be great if this worked out. Us in the same city again. I have missed you, my brother. I will give them a call back and set something up. Will you be back in town for New Year's? I thought maybe I'd make a trip down to see you for the ball drop, anyway."

"Yeah, I don't see any reason why not. You should definitely come down, with or without this meeting. We'll tear it up like we used to." I chuckled knowingly. "Give them a call and set something up around then, if possible. I'll talk to you later today, Jazz. I'm going to go hit the gym." We hung up a few minutes later after I promised to try a little harder with the therapy sessions.

For the first time in at least half a year, I felt a little lighter. I was optimistic about a possible change and being able to spend more time with my best friend. Maybe all I really needed was a fresh start and a new lease on life.

Later that afternoon, I headed over to my usual training gym to hit the weights and do some cardio. Phil Dwyer, our batting coach, met me there. Phil's a good guy. He sort of took me under his wing when I started out in Arizona. He had always offered excellent and unbiased advice, which meant the world to me as a young player. His training had also improved my hitting immensely over the years. I had a lot to thank him for. Phil was also one of the only people who know about my mental state right now.

"Need a spotter for those presses, Masen?" I heard Phil say as he came up behind me.

"Hey Phil! That would be great. I was going to ask the high school kid over there, but I think I scared him when I started putting the weights on," I smirked at the boy as his face turned beet red.

"So how's everything going? Have you had heard from any interested teams yet? We are certainly going to miss you around here," Phil managed to converse in between rep counts.

I sat the weight bar back up on the base and wiped the sweat from my brow. "Actually, Jazz called me today and said the Cubs were possibly interested. Talk about a change of scenery, huh? Hey, don't you know some of the higher ups over there?"

I stood from the bench and stretched my back and chest muscles and then laying down on a mat on the floor, I started doing my sit-ups.

"Sure, sure. It's my _wife_ with all of the connections, though," he shrugged.

"I was just wondering, because the owner wanted to come down and meet with me in person. That's nice. You don't hear about that kind of treatment very often. Is that normal for them?"

"Hmm...Don't really know. They're good kids, though. Probably just trying to extend their hand. I can put in a good word for you, if you want."

I laughed. "That's alright,Phil. You've done so much for me throughout the years. I guess I am going to have to start learning how to do this kind of stuff on my own. It will be weird not having you wherever I end up next year." Really sad, too. Another important person in my life slipping away.

"Well my wife hasn't mentioned anything about Izzy coming into town, so must be Emmett. Listen, if you want we could all go out to dinner when he comes down. Strength in numbers, right? I know you could use the extra support right about now."

"That'd be great Phil, thanks. Thanks for everything you've done for me, actually. And also, for not giving up on me and being a true friend."

"That's what I am here for, Masen. You want to work out tomorrow or take the day off since it is Sunday?"

"Ahh... you know what? If you're not busy I'd like to meet up tomorrow." I surprised myself with my own words. But once I make a commitment, I always stick to it.

"Sure, meet you here around noon. Take it easy tonight, Masen. I can smell the alcohol sweating out of your pores, you know? "

_Fuck._ Well _that_ is embarrassing. Maybe it's time I tried to put my head on straight. I kept saying that I was looking for a fresh start. Might as well put some effort in now. I suppose my comfortably numb existence was in need of a make-over. I was afraid to start feeling again. More than anything, I was just afraid to end up back where I was in that catatonic state. "Feeling" always seemed to lead to pain and loss for me. Sighing deeply, I realized I might just be too broken to fix.

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**A/N: Okay so I know this doesn't totally explain all of Edward and Bella's history, but at least it was a peek. Edward is really too depressed to go into too much detail right now. Remembering those days, really tears him apart emotionally. Plus, his memory is a little tainted by the alcohol. Bella will be able to give you all the full scoop, but you will have to hang in there until she is good and ready to spill the beans. She has been keeping all of this a secret for the last 10 years. She has a hard time admitting to her weaknesses.**

**If you are interested in some teasers for upcoming chapters, you can follow us on Twitter. Please look me up under deannaflynn.**

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	5. Fate, Contracts and Chicken Chilaquiles

**Author's Note: Wow! I am overwhelmed by the amount of readers we had after the last chapter. Over 120 hits on just the first night up. We could really use some reviews from all of you though (hint, hint). I hate begging, but if you write, you know how important they are.**

**So I know that you all are probably really begging for a chapter from Bella's POV, but you have got give us one more. We had to seal up some ties with the baseball contract first. This chapter rotates between several characters' POV. Hopefully, it helps you get to know them all a little better.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 5-** **Fate, Contracts and Chicken Chilaquiles**

**Song Selections****:**

**For Edward's POV~ **_**"Carol of the Bells" by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir**_

**For Renee's POV~**_**"Games People Play" by Joe South**_

**For Edward's POV~**_**"Chicago" (Acoustic) by Mat Kearney**_

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****Edward POV****

Over the next week I tried to refocus myself. I went to the gym and worked out with Phil everyday. I tried to throw myself into the therapy sessions and stayed away from the alcohol. Jasper had called and gave me information on two different offers; one from San Francisco and one from Baltimore. I was also scheduled to meet with the owner of the Cubs on December 30th. I decided I would hold off on any decisions until I heard from them, too. Certainly, Chicago was looking like the best option to me at this point. For some reason, I was feeling a strong connection to the city and the team, although there was no reason why. I hadn't had this strong of a connection to anything in a long time, so I knew this may be the best offer to accept.

The week before Christmas I headed to San Diego to visit with my mother. I loved spending time with her and honestly wished I had more time to do it. The holidays were always hard though, as both my mother and I continued to feel a sense of loss since the passing of my father. We usually did some shopping together and I helped her hang the rest of her holiday decorations, but the "extra spring in her step" that my mother always had around the holiday season when it was three of us, was missing.

My mom really was one of my best friends, so most of the trip consisted of us sitting around and gossiping like two old women. I suppose that should be embarrassing, but to tell you the truth, it's actually really fun. I loved hearing about all of our old neighbors and friends in San Diego and what they were up to now. My mom always got so animated when she told the stories. Her face literally glowed while she jumped from one to another and her green eyes, the same ones I look into a mirror and see everyday, twinkling with amusement. I loved to see her happy and laughing.

"Mom, it's so good to hear you laugh," I said with a smile on my face. "I have missed you so much!"

She looked at me with nothing but love in her eyes, "Honey, it feels good to laugh. Seeing you, just helps to make my life complete."

Of course, she was also concerned about me and how my therapy sessions were going. When I had originally told my mom about relapsing back into depression, she was so worried. She knew what I was like for all those months ten years ago and was afraid it might end up being worse this time. I honestly think it was her, who had recommended to Jasper that I go into therapy, but neither of them would admit to talking about it. It wasn't as if I was going to be mad at them or anything, so I always found this a little humorous.

Breaking me out of my thoughts, my mother asked, "Edward, how are you doing, really? I know you are here laughing and joking with me, but your eyes are still so sad. There is no life behind them anymore, no sparkle. And eyes as beautiful as yours, my sweet boy, deserve to sparkle," she smiled sadly.

I could tell my Mom had been hesitant about broaching this subject with me. There were several times I thought she was going to bring it up over the past week. While this was a topic I wished to avoid, I knew my mom well enough to know that she wasn't going to avoid it for too much longer. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew she was right and that it needed to be discussed. I didn't really want to talk about how I was feeling. Being here was sort of an escape, but I could never disappoint my mom.

"I guess I'm doing alright," I admitted. "I just...I feel like something is missing, Mom. Like, I'm a little lost. I know I have a million reasons to be grateful for the life I have, but it's like I have no control over how I feel. I've been looking for that missing piece for ten years now. It isn't here in San Diego, it wasn't in Los Angeles and it certainly hasn't been in Arizona. What makes me think it is going to be in the next place I live, wherever that is? Ever since Dad died and Bella left, I don't know, I feel like a part of me died or left with them," I stated sadly looking down at the ground.

"Edward, we both know your Dad's death is not what sparked this relapse. So let's focus on Bella, as maybe she's the key. I am sure we could find her together if we looked into it hard enough." My mother was ever the optimist, which was always a quality that I admired in her. She knew how much Bella meant to me and I knew she would do anything to help me find her.

"I tried looking for her awhile back, Mom. I Googled, and Myspaced and Facebooked, all to no avail. It's like Bella Swan never existed, like she is a figment of my imagination. I still _really_ miss her, Mom. How pathetic is that? I only knew her for two months and she broke my heart in ways I didn't even know it could break. Not that its her fault, I know. It's just…," I deeply sighed and paused. "Will it never get better?" I felt my face begin to crumple and my eyes fill with tears. My emotions completely betrayed me.

"Aww, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel worse," she said, cradling my head in her arms. "A first love, always stays with you in some way. I wish I could tell you how to let it go, but you never had the proper closure with her. That's what's keeping you from being able to really move on. You know, maybe she still feels the same as you. Maybe she is still hurting just as much as you are. It couldn't have been easy for her, either."

My face crumpled in agony again, realizing that I was the cause of her pain. "Edward, just think about what I am saying, that's all I am asking. If I can help you, let me know, otherwise I'll try not to bring it all up again, okay?" I felt her warm lips kissing my forehead and then she ran her hand through my hair, trying to break the tension. "Now, why don't you tell me who is scouting my baby?"

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****Emmett POV****

I had told Bella I was coming to Arizona to set things up at Hohokam Stadium, our spring training facility in Mesa. I didn't lie to her; I just didn't tell her the whole truth. After spending a few days sorting through some business and discussing the field with the grounds crew, I headed northwest to Scottsdale. I figured I would spend a few days catching up with my aunt before my meeting with Masen.

I had set up a meeting with Edward and his agent for Friday evening at Donovan's of Phoenix, which had the most amazing steaks I had ever eaten and was one of my favorites when I was in the area. I knew Bella was pretty adamant about not signing Masen, but something was not adding up and I was hoping maybe Phil or Masen himself might shed some light on the whole ordeal. He was a great player and had a good reputation on the field, so I was starting to wonder if maybe Bella didn't have more of a personal vendetta against him.

An absurd thought came to my mind, _Wouldn't it just be classic if Phil had set them up and they had a one night stand some time ago?_ Lord knows that only Bella could get herself into a mess like that! _She did seem pretty convinced about his playboy status. _I snorted out loud at the thought. That couldn't be it, though. Bella shared everything with Rose and Ali, and I knew Rose would have told me about said tryst if it had happened.

I parked my rented Escalade in Renee and Phil's driveway about twenty-five minutes later. The light beige stone and stucco house seemed to blend in with its surroundings. How anyone could find living in the desert desirable was beyond me, especially because the dry air and dust did nothing for my sinuses.

I spotted Renee peeking her head out the front window and waved back to her. Renee always made me laugh. She had a similar personality to Alice, always happy and bouncing around and extremely intuitive. She ran out the front door with her arms extended.

"Oh my dear boy! Look at you. I swear you get bigger and bigger every time I see you," she squealed.

I rolled my eyes at my aunt. "Please Renee, you and I both know there is really only one way to grow when you're thirty and I would like to think that my pants are still fitting me the same. You, on the other hand, look fantastic as always! Looks like those Pilates classes are really paying off. So, where's Phil? Not tinkering around on that damn putting green again, is he?"

Renee threw her head back and laughed. Phil's short game in golf had always been his nemesis. During the offseason he spent numerous hours a day out there cursing at himself. "No, Phil's down at the training gym with some of the guys. He should be back soon. I'm thinking of making chicken and green chile chilaquiles for dinner, why don't you come in and fix yourself a drink with me? I've been craving a good margarita all day."

_Mmmm_, I thought sarcastically. Renee was really the worst cook I had ever known. I couldn't even imagine what this chicken chili-_whatever_ dinner would look or taste like. I wasn't really in the mood for another dinner out, but I figured it might be my best course of action. "Let me take you guys out to dinner. I don't want you fussing on my account."

Renee tilted her head and smiled. "Emmie, you wouldn't be trying to sway me from not cooking, now would you? I'm not that bad, you know. I've been taking some classes here in my spare time. And that Food Network is a lifesaver. Wish they had that around years ago. You might be pleasantly surprised, you know," she gloated. I groaned inwardly, knowing I was most likely going to be regretting this, but conceded to let Renee make her chicken dish I had never even heard of.

Phil came home about an hour later. Renee was already two margaritas in and I was starting to really sweat out the dinner idea at this point. Phil grabbed himself a beer and kissed his wife on the cheek before we headed outside to sit by the pool while Renee finished up in the kitchen.

"I hear you're trying to steal our boy away from us, Emmett," Phil joked as he scooped up some corn and black bean salsa on a chip.

"I wouldn't mind it. Not so sure if Bella's too keen on the idea, though. What's he like?" I was hoping to make casual conversation and get some of the answers I needed before I met with Masen tomorrow.

"Edward's a great kid. He really is. Hard worker, good teammate; you'd be lucky to land him. I think he is ready to move on, though. Finally tired of this barren desert life," he joked. "What's Izzy's problem with him?"

I rolled my eyes at his casual use of Bella's hated nickname. "No idea. I was sort of hoping you might know the answer to that one. It's beyond me! I thought maybe you tried to hook them up once or something," I chuckled.

"Ha Ha!" he guffawed. "Can you imagine? Renee would have been furious," he said in a lower tone his eyes wide with amusement. "Actually, I don't think they've ever even met," Phil mused, but then added, "She could do a lot worse, though."

I confirmed that Phil would still be coming to dinner with us tomorrow. I was very grateful for his presence there, knowing he had the influence needed to get Masen to Chicago. Renee called us for dinner after a few more minutes of conversation. I'm not sure if it had to do with the four beers I had before we ate, but the damn chicken meal was actually pretty good. I would have to let Bella in on this little tidbit. We spent the rest of the evening out hanging out by the pool and catching up. Around 11 pm, I decided to head to bed, figuring I could get a good run in before it got too hot in the morning.

Lying in bed, I realized I hadn't really gotten any closer to the information I was looking for regarding Bella's behavior. Based on what Phil had to say about Masen, I was starting to think Bella was crazy. She had no personal ties to him that I could see, and she couldn't give me any logical reason to exclude him from our search. I was looking forward to meeting Edward tomorrow, for myself.

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****Renee POV****

I lay awake in bed for hours that night. I had been living with Bella's secret for years. I knew exactly who Edward Masen was to her, and I knew how he broke her heart. I had intentionally kept this information from Phil, not wanting him to be biased to the boy when he was drafted to the team. I knew if he was aware that this was the Edward that was the cause of all of Bella's problems those years back, he would never have treated him fairly.

Phil and I had been friends in high school. We grew up in Forks, Washington. When Charlie died, I just couldn't handle living in Chicago anymore, so I packed Bella up and moved her back to Forks with me when she was eleven. Phil was playing professional baseball for Seattle at that time. He still had a home back in Forks. We started hanging out a few months later and he really helped me through my grief with Charlie. Eventually, we started dating and then married about two years later.

Bella and Phil got along fantastically from the start, which had always surprised me. I think it was because Phil never stepped in and tried to take Charlie's spot. He was there for her more like a big brother or a friend. They had a close relationship that was strengthened because of their love for baseball.

Bella often accompanied Phil to the field for practices and games. She had a knack for clumsiness as a child, and the team had taken to calling her "Dizzy Izzy" after a particularly amusing fall while chasing down a ball in the outfield. Over the years, Phil was nice enough to shorten it to just "Izzy," much to Bella's dismay. Secretly, I think she kind of liked the special nickname he had given her, but she would never admit to it.

During Bella's senior year of high school, Phil had been traded to the Diamondbacks. We decided to move to Phoenix, but Bella wanted to finish out her senior year with her friends in Forks. After much debate, we decided that Bella was old enough to stay by herself during the week and I would fly back on weekends. Billy Black, who was Bella's friend Jake's dad, would look out for her while I was away for those two months. Bella had always spent her summers in Chicago with her grandfather and cousins, and she was planning on attending Northwestern in the fall, so we figured we'd put the house for sale in June.

That's when she met Edward. The beautiful, dashing boy "with the sparkly green eyes" as she described him. He had literally swept her off her feet within the first week he had moved into town, which, undoubtedly, scared the shit out of me. Bella had never had a serious boyfriend before. Her living alone without much parental control made me extremely nervous, but Phil had tried to convince me she would be on her own anyway in two months, so I might as well learn to trust her now.

I could see the changes in her instantaneously on my visits on the weekends. She was irrevocably in love with him. I met Edward briefly only once on a visit home. The magnetism between them was obvious. It actually frightened me a little. She was so young and had such a bright future. I was worried she would give it all up for him and _his_ dreams. I had a strong suspicion that their relationship had become physical, but Bella promised me that she was being safe with him.

As fast as their relationship started, it ended just as fast. Bella broke up with him suddenly after she saw him with another girl. She asked me to let her leave for Chicago the next day. She refused to talk with him about the situation at all. I honestly didn't think it was a good idea, but I arranged for her flights. In August, when she should have been moving into the dorms, she instead showed up in Phoenix. She finally realized running from her problems wasn't going to fix them.

Bella decided to take a year off from her studies and figure out what she wanted in her life. We spent a great deal of time discussing her relationship with Edward and her actions. She never gave him a chance to explain himself, nor did she ever explain to him her reasons for leaving so suddenly. I knew then, deep down she was still in love with him. Just as I knew now, she still harbored those same feelings.

I had been talking with Bella regularly about Emmett's interest in signing Edward. She was well aware he was down here to meet with Edward, even though he had not told her about the meeting. Bella claimed she was not really concerned, believing Emmett would never make a decision without her approval as well. I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure.

I overheard Emmett and Phil's conversation before dinner. I knew Emmett was biting at the chomp to get Edward. I still wished Bella would be more honest with Emmett about their past. In some ways, I had gotten to know Edward over the years from conversations with Phil. He didn't seem like a bad guy, just a guy who had made a mistake when he was eighteen years-old. Phil had told me he was dealing with some personal problems stemming from a guilty conscious over losing his one true love. I could only hope he was referring to Bella. Deep down, I thought they might be able to make it work now that they were both much older and more mature. I just wasn't so sure Bella was ready to let her guard down again.

Rolling over in bed, I realized it wasn't my place to intervene when it came to my daughter's love life. I would keep playing the game with her as long as she wanted. I gently rubbed Phil's arm to wake him. "Babe" I whispered, "I just remembered we have that charity event tomorrow evening for the ALS Association. You have to be there. You gotta tell Emmett tomorrow you can't make it to dinner with him." Phil groaned but gave a husky "fine" and went back to sleep.

I could only hope removing Phil from the equation would hurt Emmett's chances of signing Edward just a little. I wasn't so sure about the plan, but Bella was my only child, and I could hardly refuse her wishes. Sleepily, I wondered if fate was at work here for these two. I remembered a quote I had come across once: "_Fate is like gravity. You can jump up and down until your heart's content, but the earth still falls into the sun, and the sun still courses through the galaxy, both indifferent to your short-lived and insignificant defiance._" The last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep was that Bella might have to finally stop running from Edward, her destiny.

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****Edward POV****

I picked up Jasper at the airport Friday morning around 10 am and my face lit up when I saw him. I couldn't believe it had been four months. "Hey, Brother! What's up? You're looking good! You ready to tear up Phoenix this weekend?"

Jasper nodded in agreement. "You have no idea. I am just glad this is the last time we will be doing it here in this barren land. Next year, on to bigger and better things, right?"

"Let's hope! Come on, let me get you back to the crib. I figured we'd hang by the pool until we were ready for dinner tonight."

"Sounds like a plan. We are supposed to meet with Emmett around 7 pm at Donovan's. Is Phil still planning on joining us? I have to call and let them know a final headcount." Jasper was always worried about business. I swear he never relaxed. I was hoping he had his calls on hold for the rest of the weekend. Nothing like New Year's Eve and being stuck on business calls all night.

"Phil can't make it. Said his wife forgot to tell him about some charity event she volunteered them for, so I guess it will just be the three of us. Kind of sucks. I was hoping to have him there since he knows both of us so well. Conversation would probably flow better."

"Eh, we'll be fine without him. Emmett seems like a great guy. I've been talking with him a lot this week. I don't think we will have any problems getting you to Chicago, my man!" Jasper seemed confidant, so I figured I would let it go.

We headed out to my car in the parking lot and threw his luggage in the trunk. "Top up or down?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Jasper had practically salivated the first time I showed him my car. It was an Aston Martin DB9 Volante. The inside was completely custom in red and tan leather, the outside was a shiny black. I'm not bragging--okay maybe I am--but the car was _slammin_'. A total chick magnet.

My car was my one indulgence. There were times when I would just put the top down and drive. I loved the purr of the engine in this car when driving fast. It was the most tranquil sound. Feeling the wind whip through the hot mess of hair on my head was so therapeutic. It could make me forget all my problems for awhile.

We hung by the pool until around 5 pm then started getting ready for dinner. Thank God, I had managed to get myself a stylist when I first moved to town. I had to attend so many functions and what twenty-two year-old really knows how to dress appropriately for those things? Sure as hell not me. She had designed my wardrobe so that I would easily be able to throw an outfit together, no matter what the occasion. The restaurant we were headed to tonight was a jacket and tie type of establishment and since this was sort of an interview, I dressed in my Hugo Boss black pinstripe suit, a fitted emerald green dress shirt and a black tie with green and white paisley design. _I looked good._ Laughing to myself, I realized it was too bad I wasn't meeting with the female owner. There was no way she'd be able to resist me.

We headed out around 6:30 for Donovan's, which was a great place. I always liked to take my mom to the one in San Diego when I visited. Upon arriving, we noticed that Emmett was already waiting at a table for us. He was a huge man, at least 6'4 with short, dark curly hair and a muscular build better suited for a football player than an owner of a baseball team. He could have been intimidating if he hadn't had the goofiest grin on his face.

Introductions were made and we sat down to order some drinks and then dinner. I decided on the filet, Emmett ordered the huge 20-ounce Porterhouse and Jazz went with the Seared Ahi Tuna Steak. We talked a little about the Chicago organization over dinner and how Emmett and his cousin had taken over control of ownership.

"Have you ever met my partner, Edward?" I gave him an inquisitive look, so he continued. "I was just wondering, because she seems to have such strong opinions towards you. I'm going to level with you here." He paused, seeming to wondering how to continue. _What the hell? _"I have never seen her so openly _against_ acquiring a player before. You didn't have a one night stand with her or something did you?" Emmett smirked while waggling his eyebrows, probably hoping to lighten the conversation.

I was totally baffled. I had never met this woman that I knew of. Would Phil have discussed me with her? I couldn't imagine Phil ever saying anything that horrible about me. We were friends, right? He always said I could trust him with all the details of my problems. I knew he had never told the manager about them or any other players. Why would he go and tell his stepdaughter?

I could feel the sweat starting to pool and accumulate under my arms. _Shit!_ Am I panicking? Why was I panicking? This was not like me at all. I was always so level-headed and calm. You don't earn the title of team captain by losing your cool. He wasn't even asking me anything I should have been embarrassed about. I had nothing to hide.

Trying to mask by increasing nervousness, I answered, "Izzy, right? I have never met her that I know of. I've only heard Phil talk about her."

Without thinking, I started massaging the bridge of my nose, then peered over at Jasper, hoping for some silent encouragement and reassurance. He narrowed his eyes and nodded to me, seeming to know exactly what I was thinking. I had hoped to not address my personal problems at this dinner, mostly out of sheer embarrassment. Regardless, they were my problems and not of the team's concern. Or so I thought, at least.

In the last three weeks, I had slowly started making some progress in my therapy sessions. I had come to realize the past was the past and I was hopeless to change it. I could accept it and try to move on once and for all, or I could fight and try to do something to change it now, here in the present. I was tired of just letting my life play out. I no longer wanted to be just a character in the drama. It was time I started being the director of my own life and I was ready to fight for it, tooth and nail if that's what it took. Once I realized this, I knew that fighting for my life didn't just mean fighting for a lost love, but also my for my career and all my original hopes and dreams.

It was time to man up and take this my life into my own hands. "Look, I was hoping to avoid this, but I have been going through some personal issues and I don't know if maybe Phil would have said something to her or not. I am dealing with them and even seeing a sports psychiatrist and everything. I hope that this will not be an issue for you. It has _never_ impacted my game or my relationships on the field. You could verify that with Phil, I'm sure."

_Dammit! Shut the hell up, Masen!!_

My mind was going a hundred miles an hour. Although I wanted to get this off my chest with Emmett, I couldn't help but worry what this information would do for my chances of signing with the Cubs. Did I say too much? Not enough?

_Fucking Phil!_ It was a good thing he wasn't here. I felt my hands ball into fists under the table. I tried rubbing my fingers with my thumb to settle myself down. This whole thing was not making any sense at all. Was Phil trying to sabotage my chances of getting signed with another team? I had to get myself under control or Emmett was going to think I was some sort of psychopath.

_Get it together, you pussy!_ was all I could think to myself as my damned mind wouldn't stop running.

The sound of uproarious laughter startled me out of my thoughts. What in the hell was he laughing at? Could he seriously be laughing about me having personal problems, about me seeing a therapist? Again, I looked at Jasper. This time though, he seemed to have the same sort of baffled look on his face that I did. He tilted his head in a questioning manner, catching my eye as he debated, I assumed, whether to intervene or not, but finally just shrugged.

Emmett finally breathed out the word "_Izzy_!" then proceeded to drop his head to the table and his body shook in what looked like convulsions. There were tears in his eyes when it sounded like he mumbled "_Oh my God, Phil!_", but I couldn't be sure. Shaking his head, he continued to laugh at a level above normal volume for a five- star restaurant. Every person was turning towards us at their tables to see what the commotion was about, to which I sat, completely stunned. I didn't even know what Emmett was laughing about and the stares were starting to make me uncomfortable.

To my relief, Emmett finally began settling down. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. _Izzy!_" He burst into guffaws again and finally took a deep breath to continue. "Dude, please, _for the love of all that is holy_, don't _ever_ let her hear you call her that name!"

_What?_ I didn't even know how to respond. Wasn't that her name? I was sure that's what Phil had always called her. Wasn't it? Maybe she went by Isabella. Maybe she was one of those people who insisted on being called by their proper name to enforce their authority. I had no idea to any of these answers, but I was starting to get a little upset that Emmett was finding the whole exchange so comical. How the hell was I supposed to know what to call her? Irrationally, I realized that I was also getting pissed that Jasper wasn't saying a damned word. Not that he was really expected to, but come on, b_ack a brother up, Man!_

"Look Emmett, I apologize. I could have sworn that is what Phil called her." Practically begging, I continued, "Please tell me how to address her correctly. Does she go by Isabella? I, in no way, intended to insult her." I had to get back on track here. This little interview was starting to go downhill and fast.

Again, Emmett began laughing hysterically. "You're killing me right now!" Sensing the panic in my eyes, he again calmed himself down. "Well, I think you have convinced me, that you probably have never met her before. She would certainly have put you in your place if you had."

Looking at me in what appeared to be pity, he continued, "Aw, don't worry about it, Edward. She just _hates_ that nickname. Phil started calling her that years ago. I think he just did it because he _knew_ it pissed her off. She used to huff off every time she heard it. It is sort of an inside family joke." Emmett rolled his eyes and couldn't hold back the snicker that escaped his lips. "She goes my Ms. Black or Bella. Definitely not Isabella; she hates that too! Either of the other two would be fine, but I suppose maybe you should start with the Ms. Black until you two settle your issues. Whatever they are."

Whatever they are indeed. Emmett definitely had an odd sense of humor I decided, but I pushed it to the back of my head for a minute. The name Bella had caught my attention. The only Bella I had ever known was..._No, that's silly_. There is _no_ way it could be her. I can't even imagine her in charge of running a major league baseball team. Just the thought of her in the cut-throat world of business dealings almost made me smile. She was into literature and writing and was probably an editor or a newspaper reporter somewhere right now. This obsession with Bella Swan was really causing my mind to conjure up some crazy things.

_Get it together, Masen. Get it together._

But on the other hand, what if it was her? Could I face her again? Lord knows, I wanted to with every ounce of my being. I wanted to finally apologize for hurting her. I wanted to tell her I never stopped thinking about her. I wanted to hold her the way I always had. I wanted to stare into those never ending chocolate pools of her eyes. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted...

_Dammit Edward, get a grip on yourself!_ You have to let that shit go. It is not going to be her, and you are just setting yourself up to be heartbroken when you finally meet this woman. Who, by the way, already hates you for some unknown reason. The last thing she needs to see is a look of disappointment on your face when you finally meet her.

"I'd like to meet with her, Emmett. Just to see if we can settle whatever differences she has with me. I rather like the idea of Chicago for my immediate future. I like what you two are doing with the team. You have a great vision and I can see where you are going with it. I also like that you are not afraid to spend some money to become better." _Shit_. My lack of verbal filter failed me again. I was trying to compliment them as an organization. I hadn't intended to bring up money with him tonight, but I guess there was really no way around it now.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't actually intended to discuss any type of contract with you tonight, but I think maybe I should be more forthcoming with you, especially with the question of my character being addressed by your partner. I would really like the next team I sign with to be where I finish playing my career. I don't want to be one of those players who jumps from one team to another. I'd like to set some roots somewhere, you know, settle down for the long haul," I said with such passion, that I hardly recognized my own voice.

"Listen Masen, I like you. You seem like a good guy. Maybe a little too serious, but hey, I won't judge since we just met. I'm sure I could loosen you up a little. Bella will like you, too. I am sure she just needs some time to get to know you," he stated with such a confidence that I was beginning to believe him.

Emmett folded his hands on the table and looked at Jasper. "I won't ruin our dinner by going into business stuff tonight. I'll give you a call in a day or two, Jasper and we can see if we can hammer something out that works for all of us. Now, I don't know about you two, but I could really use a night out on the town. You boys up for a little fun, tonight?" he challenged with a raise of his eyebrow.

* * *

****Jasper POV****

"Mr. Whitlock, Mr. Cullen is on line three for you," my secretary's voice came over my phone.

"Thank you, Victoria. You can put him through."

I was sitting in my office in early January sipping on a much needed hot cup of coffee. I had been waiting to hear back from Emmett for over two weeks. I hadn't expected it to take so long since we seemed to all really click back in Phoenix. San Francisco had decided to pull their offer since Edward hadn't given them an answer. He had no plans of going there anyway, so it wasn't a huge loss. Baltimore and now Kansas City, on the other hand, were still courting offers.

"This is Jasper Whitlock speaking," I answered into the phone.

"Hey Jasper, it's Emmett. Sorry about the hold up getting back to you. I am still having some problems convincing my partner that Masen is our man, but I decided I'm not going to keep playing with her. I'm convinced he's what we need, so I'm making a move on my own. The Cubs are making an official offer of $180 million for ten years. I like to keep our contracts simple. I don't add any provisions for bonuses based upon making the playoffs or the World Series or batting averages or home runs. He will have an opt-out clause for the final two years of the contract and veto power over any trade possibilities."

"Okay, sounds fair. I will give Edward the information. We have two other offers available so I will let him sort through them and get back to you as soon as I can."

"Listen Jasper, this might sound odd, but I'd like to keep this out of the media until he decides and finalizes a deal with us, _if_ that's what he wants. My partner will be fine with it in the end, but I just think it will better if she doesn't know all the details until they are finalized. Please understand, that this is not at all how we normally operate. I just feel really strongly that this is the right move and I don't want to lose our chance with him."

"I understand, Emmett. I will keep it under wraps and communicate with you only for the duration of the negotiations. Don't worry about it. Believe me, I have heard worse stories."

"Thanks, Man. We should get together some time this week. Grab some drinks or dinner. Maybe I'll bring my fianceé and my sister Ali along. You two would get along great."

Before hanging up, Emmett and I made plans to meet on Saturday night for drinks at the Blue Stem Martini Lounge and to discuss any problems Edward might have with the contract. We decided to go sans the girls this time since business would be discussed. I then called Edward to give him the good news.

* * *

****Edward POV****

I had just gotten back from a run when I heard the phone ringing. It was Jasper. _God, I hope he finally has some good news. _We were both surprised that we hadn't heard anything from Emmett yet. I assumed it had something to do with the co-owner, who I was beginning to believe was obviously the biggest bitch ever.

"Yo. What up, Jazz?"

"Chicago's in! They are offering the same as Baltimore. So get your _sweet_ ass up here and let's go look for a place for you to live already," Jasper exclaimed.

I was relieved, to say the least. Now that it was all finally happening, I was a little nervous too. I was about to make a huge move across the country and start over. Even though it was what I had been hoping for, I knew this was big. My mind started racing to all the things I would have to do to make such a move. I wouldn't have much time before spring training started. Mesa was only a short drive from my home now in Scottsdale. Maybe I could keep this home, at least for awhile.

I guess I was lost in thought longer than I realized, because I heard Jasper asking if I was still there. "Yeah, sorry man. Zoned out there for a minute, thinking about everything. So what do we have to do? When do I go for the physical and sign the contract? When do we have a press conference?" I inquired at lightning speed.

This was all really happening and I couldn't believe it. "Well, I will meet with Emmett this weekend to review and finalize the contract, so probably in the next two weeks. I will need you here for the physical and to sign the paperwork. We'll do a press conference sometime after that." Jasper hesitated a second, than added, "I know this might seem odd, but Emmett asked me and you to keep this quiet until we finalize everything. Hope that's okay."

I figured it probably had something to do with the bitch of a partner that he had.

_What the FUCK does this woman hate me so much for?_

God, I was really going to have to stop thinking of her in derogative ways. I was hoping Emmett knew what he was doing, because the last thing I needed to walk into with a new club, was an ambush by _this _woman. She could certainly make my life a living hell and I was really trying to move on from the personal hell I was already in.

I agreed to Jasper's terms after he recounted that Emmett was sure there would be no lasting problems with "Ms. Black" once everything was settled. I could only hope for the best at this point. After we hung up, I booked a flight to Chicago for the following Monday and looked around my house in disbelief that this was all finally happening.

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A/N: So what did you think? Edward is finally on his way to Chicago. What do you think Bella is going to do? I imagine she will not be too happy with her cousin. Review and let us know!

**Also, to sweeten the deal, leaving a review will get an exclusive teaser for the next chapter!!**

**Remember you can follow me on Twitter at www(dot)twitter(dot)com/DSDF22**


	6. The Dark Day

**Author's Note: First, and foremost, we have to thank the wonderful, Gondolier for her amazing review and recommendation of our story on The Lazy, yet Discerning Ficster Blog. We just hope we don't let you down.**

**To all of you who have read, favorited, reviewed and alerted our story—Thank you, thank you, thank you! We are overwhelmed by your response.**

**This is our longest chapter so far, so I will keep this note on the shorter side.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 6 – The Dark Day**

_**Song Selections:**_

_** For Part 1 of Bella's POV~"Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne**_

_** For Rosalie POV~ "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park**_

_** For Part 2 of Bella's POV~ "It Must Have Been Love" by Roxette**_

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**** Bella's POV ****

_January 20__th__. Today is January 20__th__. _

Sadly, the date is all I could think about as I vaguely heard my alarm go off this cold and windy morning. I was in such a trance-like state, that I felt as if I really wasn't here at all.

While this day held no worldly significance to the rest of the 6.77 billion people on the Earth, it meant everything to me. Next to seeing Edward lying with Lauren on the beach that June night so many years ago, it was the most painful day of my existence. More painful than the day my father died and more painful than Jake's last day. Today was the day that my heart became so broken, that it was truly beyond repair. Today was the day that I experienced something so beautiful, yet so heart-breaking all at the same moment, that my soul became empty and I transformed into the shell of the person I am presently. While I put on a confident, smart, and sassy act for everyone around me, I am fully aware that I am never showing the world who I really am. Why? Lord only knows the answer to this simple, one word question, but I am rather confident that it has to do with Edward Masen.

"January 20th," I said aloud and sighed again staring at my ceiling as a solitary tear rolled down my cheek.

Today was my "Dark Day," as I liked to call it. I was always under the assumption that if I gave this date a name, then maybe I could find some closure from the events that occurred nine years ago. Try as I might, this has never been the case. Year after year on this very day, I slip into such a state that it is all I can do to remember how to breathe. While the old saying, "Time heals all wounds" is vaguely true, there is no amount of time in the world that will take away the memories. No decisions can be undone and no images in my head could ever be erased. Yep, today is my "Dark Day."

Although this day was always painful for me, for some reason today was so much worse. I didn't know if it was due to the fact that it had actually been nine years, or the utter loneliness and emptiness I had been feeling lately, or possibly the sudden reoccurrence of Edward's name into my life, but I immediately felt a new level of sadness in my fragile heart. Knowing that I had far too many responsibilities to sit around and remember what might have been, I begrudgingly came to the conclusion that I needed to get out of my penthouse and breathe in the crisp, fresh winter air.

"Hopefully a run will clear my head enough before continuing with my façade," I flatly stated aloud.

Most people would find it all sorts of crazy to run outside in the middle of January, but I found it rather refreshing. Although it was frigid and windy, winter mornings always had a level of serenity and peace about them. Knowing that this was exactly the feeling that I desperately needed to have today, I drug myself out of my bed, threw on my winter running gear, and headed out the door.

While waiting for the elevator doors to open, I took a quick glance at my watch. _It's seven o'clock, perfect! I will have the city all to myself. _ I thought as the doors opened shortly there after.

Not wanting to spend any more time in this building, I entered the elevator and was greeted by Sam, the elevator attendant. Why the hell one of those was needed I have no idea. How hard is it to press a damn button on a wall? While we normally were rather chatty with one another, he immediately saw the utter look of sadness on my face and decided that today, no words were needed. Instead, he simply tipped his head to me and pushed the Lobby button.

_Thank God,_ I thought to myself, unsure if I was ready to hold myself together for a conversation. I had already shed a tear this morning as the memories of that day flooded my mind at a rapid pace. It was taking everything I had to keep some level of composure.

When the elevator doors finally opened to the lobby, I gave Sam a weak smile and headed for the door. Without even looking at my surroundings, I began running. I felt like a woman possessed. There was surprisingly no ice or snow on the ground, which made it the perfect winter running weather. I wondered what it would be like to just keep running and running with no specific destination or timeframe in mind, kinda like Forrest Gump. What a life that man had! I certainly felt like I was in that state of mind. Unfortunately, I had to be at work in a couple of hours, so I had to stick to my regimen. My usual route consisted of running a few miles down Lake Shore Drive until I reached the Field Museum and then I turned around and ran past the Chicago Sun Times office. I normally liked to run down North Michigan Avenue too, but today was just too damn cold for that, so I decided that I would have to cut it short.

After I enjoyed the lake view during the Lake Shore Drive part of my run, I quickly made my way towards the Chicago Sun Times office. I always enjoyed this part of the run because I was able to catch up on breaking news that scrolled across on the real-time banner on the front of the building. I took a quick glance at the news not expecting to see anything worthwhile, when the name on the screen caught my attention. I froze in place and did a double-take.

_**Breaking News****: Free Agent, Edward Masen, former 3**__**rd**__** Basemen for the Arizona Diamondbacks, has just been signed to a 10 year, $180 million-dollar deal with the Chicago Cubs.**_

_What the HELL? _

I quickly rubbed my eyes._ There must be some mistake,_ was all I could think to myself as I continued to stand there and stare at the words scrolling across the banner.

Everything slowed down at that point, like the earth was coming to a standstill. I felt like I was in some sort of alternate universe. I couldn't think straight as my mind starting racing at a hundred miles a minute. I couldn't put a finger on the feelings I had at that time, but I knew instinctively that I needed to get out of public and _quick._ Clearly in a daze, I shook my head and sprinted back to my penthouse at lightning pace.

I had thought the elevator ride this morning was bad, but the ride back up was unbearable. I was barely able to keep myself composed. Once I stepped off on my floor, I felt the floodgates open all at once. My mind was one big clusterfuck. My emotions were all over the place, with flashes of anger, confusion, fear, hurt, betrayal and self-pity the dominating ones.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_. How the hell did this happen? Why would Emmett go behind my back? I will fucking destroy him when I see him today. And my mother, why the hell didn't Renee say anything to me about this? She had to have known. There is no way Phil wouldn't have known about this before it was finalized. Wait, does Edward know that I own the team? Could Edward miss me? Shit, why I am I even wondering if Edward misses me? How will I ever face him? Why today of all days? The raging thoughts circulated through my head as I stared out my window looking down at the city.

I felt as if I was in a tailspin and losing control second by second. I knew that Emmett went down to Arizona to meet with Edward, I was no damn fool about that, but never in a million years did I think that he would go behind my back and sign a player without my mutual consent.

"That asshole! Emmett you moronic, fucking asshole!" I screamed. "Have you lost your ever loving mind? I swear to _God, _that you must have! What would make you do such a thing? When I see you, I swear I will make Scarlet O'Hara look like a kitten!"

I was so pissed at this moment, that I was seriously seeing red! Aside from the obvious, I also felt so deeply betrayed by Emmett, Renee, and even poor Phil it was unreal. Not knowing what I was doing, I picked up my phone and dialed the first person that came to mind.

"Hello… Bella? What's wrong, honey?" the groggy voice on the other end of the line answered.

_Oh, shit, I totally forgot about the time difference. Fuck it, who care? I am pissed at her, too._

"Are you kidding me, Mom? How could you not tell me that Edward had signed with _my_ team?" I said sternly. Feeling my voice getting louder, I decided to keep on ranting. "I mean, come on! I am your daughter for crying out loud. You knew what this would do to me. You know that I have been barely hanging on for ten years. Couldn't you have made Phil talk him out of this? You should have _never_ kept this information from me. Judas!"

Feeling my face turn red, I quickly realized that my anger with Renee was completely uncalled for and decided that I didn't need to lay into my poor, sleepy mother any longer. Don't get me wrong, I sure as hell wanted to, but also understanding that I was a total bitch to her no more than 30 seconds ago, I knew that I needed to shut my mouth and let her state her peace.

"Isabella Marie, you may be an adult, but I am still your mother and I don't appreciate being spoken to in that tone. Especially, this early in the morning. Now why don't you calm down, and we will discuss this. You are too damn old for temper tantrums like that," she calmly replied. "First off, this is the first I have heard of Edward signing with Chicago. Secondly, we both knew that Emmett was down here meeting with Edward. That silly boy didn't do a very good job of hiding that fact. You were the one convinced that Emmett would never go behind your back and sign a player without your mutual consent. You should have told him everything from the beginning, instead of giving him half-ass excuses. Finally, as promised my sweet girl, Phil knows nothing of your past with Edward, so he wouldn't have been any help. I kept him from that dinner meeting, but asking Phil to talk Edward out of going to Chicago would have raised all sorts of questions."

With a deep sigh I conceded, everything she said was one hundred percent correct. It was at times like these, that I wished I was a tad more like my mother. She had a gift of seeing beyond the surface, which was rather amazing. I guess that all of those years of chanting and living in the Arizona desert really brought one to an entirely new level of clarity.

_Note to self… once I kick Emmett's ass from here until tomorrow, I need to visit Renee. _I quickly thought.

"Mom, I know that you are right, but what the hell am I going to do?" I began pleading. "How am I going to face him, Mom? How am I supposed to tell Emmett everything that has happened between us?" I was feeling my composure slip deeper and deeper into the abyss, but kept on asking in desperation anyways. "How will I be able to survive having to see him on the field day after day? How, Mom? _Please,_ tell me how?"

I fell to my knees and began sobbing like a child. The Pandora's Box of emotions unable to be halted. The all too familiar feeling of not being able to breathe quickly resurfaced with a vengeance, and I knew I was going into a full-blown panic attack. I was gasping for air. I hadn't had an attack like this since the day I had last seen Edward. The major difference being that then, I had Jake to turn to, but now, I had no one. The reality of this realization made the situation that much worse. _Fucking, Dark Day._

Self-pity began to take me over._ I mean, anyone in my place would feel the same, right? I'm not overreacting, am I?_ I curled up into a ball and continued crying. Feeling so lost and alone, I struggled to hear my mother's answers to all of my questions on the other end of the receiver.

"Bella, Baby, please don't cry. You are breaking my heart right now and it's only six-thirty in the morning," she softly cooed. "Sweetheart, why don't you come down and visit me for a bit. I am worried about you."

_Damn, there goes her mind reading ability again!_

When I didn't respond, she continued. "Honey, I wish I knew the answers to your questions, but the truth of the matter is that there are no simple answers. If there were, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now. I know you are hurting more than words can describe and I can't say that I blame you, but Bella.." She paused and I had a sudden feeling I knew what was going to be said next. "...have you ever stopped to think about how Edward has been feeling since that day?" she softly and tentatively inquired.

Still curled up into the fetal position on the floor, I felt even more defeated. I knew that once again, she was correct. For these past ten years, my life had not gone at all how I once dreamt it would. I had an extremely successful career and great extended family, but my life was forever feeling empty. I had married my best friend six years ago, mostly out of gratitude for his friendship. I don't regret it, but truthfully it was hardly fulfilling; we never even consummated the marriage due to his weak heart. I have rarely dated since then. Most men are too self-conscious to date a woman with the type of power I have in this city. So I poured myself into the team, channelling all of these pent up feelings towards building a great franchise instead of ever truly dealing with the heart of the issue. _Edward_. I had been able to hide my past and run from the events that led up to today, but with him coming back into my life so suddenly, I knew the past and our history was going to bite me in the ass and fast.

My chest still heaving and tears streaming down my face, I softly choked, "Mom, how is thinking about his feelings going to help me? I am not a fool when it comes to him. I have seen and heard the stories about him with numerous women throughout the years. I'm pretty sure he has been doing just fine. I was nothing more than a distraction to him for a while."

As strange as this sounds, I truly believe that. If I had meant half as much to him as he meant to me, he would have found a way to fight for me. That was never the case, though. While I admittedly did tell him to never contact me again, deep down I always hoped that he would find me. Yeah, so that was a crazy girl thing to do, I know. Saying one thing and meaning another, guys hate that shit. But I was eighteen and I didn't know any better, and everyday that goes by, I die a little more inside.

My heart silently pleaded everyday._ Why didn't you fight for me Edward? Why didn't you tell me that there was no one you could ever love but me? Why?_

Hearing a soft sigh in the phone, Renee soothingly said, "Sweetheart, all is not what it seems. Trust me, if you would stop running from him and actually talk to him, I think you would be surprised that his feelings these past ten years have been rather similar to yours."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Did she know something else that she wasn't telling me? I quickly shook these questions out of my mind because I knew her well enough to know that if she had this type of information, she definitely would have told me.

Coming back to the here and now, I finally said "But Mom, how can I.." I began pleading, but she quickly continued with her motherly advice.

"Bella," the love in her voice made me smile, "it is simply time for you to grab the bull by the horns and deal with him. It isn't going to be easy, but if you ever want to find love and acceptance with yourself and someone else, you are going to need closure. You have so much to offer the world, but Baby, you keep that hidden. Please, stop hiding your heart and deal with this so you can transform into an actual person, not just the shell you are today and have been for years. Fate has a way of correcting itself."

As painful as it was to hear, I knew that she was right. Damn her, for making so much sense this early in the morning. I thought that I had been doing a pretty good job of "acting" like a person, but I guess I wasn't fooling Renee. She knew me to my very core and I am sure that seeing me throughout the years hasn't been easy for her. How she had the patience with me, I will never know. At times, I wanted to kick my own ass.

"I know, Mom, I know. I just don't know... how," is all I could sadly say. I knew this needed to be done, I just had no idea how I was going to go about it.

"I don't know either, Baby, but I am here if you need me. Please know that I love you and know that you will find the strength to do what needs to be done." I could hear the warmth in her voice as this was said and quickly remembered why I loved my mother so much.

Through a hoarse voice, I told her I loved her, that I would call her later, and brought our chat to an end. Knowing that I needed to get into the office and have it out with Emmett, I found the strength to bring myself off the floor and into reality. Although I still felt more lost than ever, I knew that there was no way around the issues needing to be dealt with today. I couldn't simply stay at home because of my past with Edward and hide under my bed like a child. I was the owner of a million dollar franchise, and with that come a great deal of responsibilities.

Knowing that the sports world was going to be buzzing with this deal, it was time to pull myself together and get into the office. Somehow, I was going to have to deal with reporters on my way into the office. Being a little more prepared about this contract would have been helpful. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty and seeing Emmett would most likely bring on another fit of rage, but I also knew there was no avoiding it.

I went to the bathroom vanity and opened a bottle I had hoped to not have to use. After my almost breakdown with Emmett a month ago, I went to see my doctor and he prescribed me some Xanax. I stared at the bottle for a few seconds. I didn't want to take it, but I wasn't sure I would make it through the day without it. Resigned, I opened the bottle, dumped out the small white pill, and swallowed it down with some water. After taking a long, hot shower, I pulled on my favorite black pencil skirt, pink cashmere v-neck sweater, and black Jimmy Choo Belinda's. I loved those shoes. They also made me feel very confident, something I was definitely going to need if I was going to make it through this day alive.

As I went to grab my keys on the side table by the front door, I paused. I rarely took my Ferrari California convertible out in the winter, but I figured with the day I was having, today could be an exception. Today I needed to drive fast and release some tension. There wasn't any snow or ice on the ground, so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Jake was always the one to fawn over fast sports cars, so when he died I bought one in his memory. I loved the damn thing. Now, every few years I upgrade. They have sort of become my guilty pleasure.

I hurried down to the parking garage and jumped into the car. Once in, I started to feel the rage boiling up again and the only thing I could think was, _Emmett, you better hold onto your balls because when we are done, you will not have any. _Sorry, Rosie, but your man's time is up.

I tore out of the parking garage with tires screeching and tensely drove to the office. I fucking hate my "Dark Day!"

* * *

**** Rosalie's POV ****

"Flipping out? Emmett, what hell do you mean by flipping out?" I was thoroughly confused and annoyed at this point. "Stop being so damn dramatic. _For Christ's sake_! Bella is the most even-tempered person alive."

I had no idea what Emmett was so wound up about, especially, when it had to do with his cousin. Bella and I were roommates at Northwestern University and became fast friends, despite out polar opposite personalities. I met both Emmett and Alice through her.

Bella rarely got angry. She was always too much of a push-over, in my opinion. Since she and Emmett had taken over the team two years ago, she had admittedly gotten a lot more vocal, much to my pleasure. Almost all decisions involving the franchise were made unanimously between the two of them. For as long as I've known them, they have never had a knock-down-drag-out argument. I mean, sure, they bicker like family members do, but _never_ has he called me frantically looking for a referee.

"Babe, please. I'm begging you. I need your help calming her down," a defeated Emmett pleaded into the phone.

"Calm her down? Are you feeling okay? Are you forgetting who you're talking to?" I sharply asked. I have never been known as the comforting type. If you wanted someone to step in and break up a fight physically, I'm your girl. But to be called in to calm someone down and comfort them,..._yeah_, that probably wasn't going to happen.

It's not that I didn't want to be there for her, I totally did, but I am not the most sympathetic person. So calming her down from whatever made her so pissed off was, most likely, way out of my league. This was definitely a situation best handled by Alice.

"Rose, I need all the help I can get right now. Ali is with her but, it doesn't seem to be helping."

"Em, are you sure this is the best idea? You know I lose my patience quickly in this type of situation. I might just make the situation worse. What about Alice?" asking in hopes that this may divert his attention to her instead of me. "She is much better at dealing with…." I had to stop because, truthfully, I didn't even know what we were dealing with. He had never even mentioned why Bella was so mad in the first place.

I hate getting involved in other people's problems. If I was going to subject myself to this nonsense, I was not going to be flying blind. I needed more information from him, if I was even going to _consider_ leaving my nice, quiet, and safe office to go into the lion's den to tame Bella.

I sighed heavily. "What _are_ we dealing with? Babe, not to sound like a bitch, but I have to ask, what did you say to her this time?" This was an important piece of information to know. Emmett has quite a teasing and sarcastic personality. People either adore him or hate him. Bella and Em were as close as brother and sister. He knew her weaknesses and had a tendency to pick at her until she lost it.

I really don't understand the purpose of picking at people for no reason, but what do you expect from guys? _Idiots!_ I thought to myself as I waited for Emmett to explain the catalyst for our current predicament.

Turning my black swivel chair around toward my office window, I took in the beautiful skyline of Chicago. I had come up with some of my most creative ideas and marketing pitches while gazing at this view. It was so tranquil. I couldn't even imagine what would be waiting for me upstairs.

I asked Emmett to give me the play by play account of his morning actions. In true Em fashion, he began by retelling me how _amazing_ our morning sexcapdes were today and then continued droning on about his day in a timeline form. I zoned out a little remembering our hot and sweaty morning work out. I personally thought the tryst was better than just "amazing," but I was getting sidetracked. I couldn't see how our sex-life could have gotten Bella into such a state. _Of course, it had been awhile for her._ Nah, I know Bella, and sexually frustrated or not, she was not the type to flip her lid over something like that.

Emmett brought me back to reality when he mentioned that he had signed a player by the name of Edward Masen to the team yesterday. Bella freaked when she found out the news.

"Wait! You signed someone without discussing it with her first? You Dumb Fuck! Why would you do that?"

This was starting to make some sense. Bella was sort of a control freak when it came to the finances of the team. Em was well aware of this, though. Why would he subject himself to the wrath of Bella for this guy?

I had to switch gears here to get the answers I needed. Insulting Emmett wasn't going to get me anywhere. More calmly, I continued "Ok, so you didn't discuss the contract ahead of time with her. You both know how much reserve money the team has though, so what's the big deal? What's the issue with _this_ guy? It's not like you two to fight over a player this much."

As I mentally began preparing myself for the journey into the "war zone," I immediately stopped. For some reason the name Edward Masen was ringing a bell with me, but I couldn't quite put my perfectly manicured nail on it.

"Em, what did you say the guy's name was again?" as I asked this, some slight recognition conjured up in my brain. I began to remember the face Bella made the day we were having lunch at the Elephant & Castle Pub a month or so ago. Never in a million years had I seen Bella so shaken by a simple name.

_It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now_... What the hell! _Shit_! Am I singing Celine Dion now? I will kick Emmett's ass for this later tonight.

Refocusing, my thoughts I drifted back to the minute Bella received Emmett's call about the potential deal with Edward Masen. The conversation started off normally, but all or a sudden, her face turned as pale as a ghost, she began shaking, and her breathing became erratic. I swear to God, it looked as if she was having a panic attack right at the table. Then when she finally started talking again, it was not in a voice I would consider to be an inside one, if you know what I mean. Not to sound like a complete bitch, but it was a tad embarrassing looking back.

_Hmm._ "This is a little bizarre," I thought aloud.

Coming back to the here and now, I was greeted by a screaming Emmett. "A little bizarre? Rose? Are you fucking listening to me? You need to get up here NOW! I swear it you don't, you may never see me again."

"Emmett, tone down the dramatics." _God, men are such babies_. "I will be there in like two minutes." I said shaking my head as I exited my office.

"And Emmett, one last thing. Why don't you play nice with little Bella?" I chuckled. "It would be rather embarrassing if anyone found out that Bella "the Peanut" beat your ass and made you cry like a baby!"

Still snickering to myself, I hung up my Blackberry and made my way to the elevators, and up to their offices. On the quick ride up, my only thought was how I was going to make Emmett pay for pulling me away from the Under Armour deal I was just about to finalize for the second time. So help me God, if that company changed their minds again, I would lose it. And then everyone would need to be here calming me down from a tirade, instead of Bella. I had so much work piling up on my desk, that this little wrench in my day was not helping me in the slightest.

_I hope for Emmett's sake that Bella really is going crazy, because if not, he is sooo getting cut off for a few days. No more La Perla fashion shows for him!_ I wickedly thought as the doors to the elevator began opening.

Thinking that Emmett really was being overly-dramatic about the whole Bella situation, I was rather taken aback with what I heard the moment the elevator doors opened.

"Calm down, Bella! _Please_, calm down sweetie!" Alice serenely chimed.

_Thank God, Alice is here,_ I sighed.

"Bella... now that is just crazy. Bella, for me! _Please, please_ put your shoe back on," her voice now becoming slightly frantic. "I totally understand that my big brother can be an ass, but there is _no_ reason to throw your beautiful new Jimmy Choo Belinda's at Emmett. The shoes are not your enemy," she whined.

I chuckled. I wasn't yet in the office with them, but I could totally picture Alice's face during this statement. Knowing how passionate she is about fashion, especially shoes, her gray eyes must have been pleading so loudly that she was on the verge of tears. It is _highly_ likely that she is going to have nightmares about Bella using her shoes as a weapon for nights to come! _Poor Ali!_

"Bella, NOOOOOOOOO……….." she screamed so loudly it could shatter glass.

The loud thump coming from the door made me jump back, completely startled. Bella _did not_ just throw that shoe.

_Holy Shit! That is a solid mahogany door,_ was all I could think. Bella's fit of rage was even beginning to concern me. I guess Emmett wasn't exaggerating after all. I stood back a little from the doorway to avoid any more flying objects.

"Dammit, Bella! That shoe was inches away from hitting my fucking head! What? You decide now, to start having some hand-eye coordination?" Emmett bellowed.

"Emmett," it sounded like Bella was literally shaking in anger at this point. "You're _so_ lucky that's all I threw at you, Jackass!" she roared back. "What the HELL made you sign Edward Masen after I _specifically_ told you I did _NOT_ want him on this team?"

The anger from her voice was like nothing I had ever heard before out of anyone, let alone the normally zen Bella. "_Pissed,"_ as Emmett described, was an understatement. She was more like out of her mind, crazy. I actually was worried about Alice and Emmett's safety. She sounded like a mixture of frantic, psychotic, hurt, sad, desperate, and confused all wrapped into one.

"I hate to break it to you Bella, but _you_ don't make all the decisions on this team. I don't have to ask your permission when signing a player," he barked back at her. Then Emmett added dryly, "Especially, if I think you are wrong. I think whatever your problem is with him, it's personal, not professional. We both know that is not how we were taught to run this team. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Fuck, he doesn't even know who you are!"

_Emmett, you idiot! That was the worst possible thing you could say to her at that moment,_ was all I could think to myself as I started sprinting towards the door. I had _no_ idea what Bella would say to that comment, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to be pretty.

Sure enough, the moment I opened the door, I heard Bella screaming "Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Emmett! I swear to all that is holy, that I am going to jump across my desk right now and beat the _shit_ out of you with the heel of my other Jimmy Choo! And this time, I won't miss."

The next thing I saw was what appeared to be a blur of Bella hurdling across her desk at Emmett with a five-inch black-colored heel in her hand. I had to literally throw myself at her to catch her mid-attack.

"Enough! Both of you! What in the hell is going on? Do you want everyone in these offices to think you've both lost your minds?" I shouted through the commotion. "The Jerry Springer Show is taped down the street. Now cut the _SHIT_, shut the _FUCK _up, get your _ASSES_ to separate corners of the room and _SIT _down, NOW!"

Knowing that I wasn't messing around, both children went to opposite locations of Bella's office. I swear that they both needed to go to time out for such behavior. With her behind her desk and Emmett on the couch, I was glad there was a buffer zone between the two.

_Jesus Christ! When the hell did I become a kindergarten teacher? This isn't the Romper Room!_

Satisfied with this tiny bit of progress, I turned to Bella, stared her straight in the eyes, and sternly asked, "What the hell is your problem? You better start talking and it better be now."

* * *

****Alice POV****

Holy hell, Batman! Complete and utter chaos. I have never seen this with my family before. We are a spirited bunch to say the least, but this whole scene was like a domestic dispute episode on Cops. My grandfather is probably rolling over in his grave right now.

Emmett with the lying, Rosalie literally tackling Bella to the ground and Bella...Bella with that god-damn shoe. What the hell is she thinking? I mean that shoe costs almost seven hundred dollars. It is most definitely _not_ to be used as a weapon. Does she even know what I went through to get her those heels?

I knew Emmett had signed Edward, I did not however; know he did not finalize this with Bella. There are only three people that I know of, who really know about Bella and Edward's past. Me, Renee and Jake, but he hardly counts at this point. Hence, I was a little worried about this whole deal going down. Especially, because I had tried to talk Bella into telling Emmett everything and she flat-out refused. I knew this would end badly. I told Em that this would not go over well if he took matters into his own hands. But no one ever listens to me! By now, they should have seen that I am almost always right on about this shit.

But of course, Emmett assured me that he had talked to our cousin in depth about acquiring Edward. Apparently, either he is straight-up lying or somewhere along the line, these two got their signals crossed- big time. My brother was not typically one to lie, but he has been known to take matters into his own hands if they are not going according to his plan. He most definitely did not inherit the virtue of patience.

Rose had finally gotten these two seated on opposite sides of the desk. My god, the death stares they were giving each other, you'd have thought they were mortal enemies or some shit. I was waiting for lasers to come out and shoot one of them down. I have known Bella for twenty-eight years, and never, and I mean _never_, has she lost her cool. She reminds me of one of those crazy bitches on that Oxygen show _Snapped_. She is sitting at her desk with a freaking huge-ass tear going up the side of her skirt from trying to hurdle across the desk. A pencil-skirt is not made for hurdling anything. Have I taught her nothing over the years?

Rose was still waiting for Bella to respond to her question, but it did not look like she was in any hurry to do so. Realizing this might be as calm as they were going to get, I decided to interject. "Okay you two. This is out of control." Both of these idiots were to blame. Each for different reasons, though. I looked first at my brother. "Em, stated simply, You. Are. An. Ass. I told you to check, and then double-fucking check, that Bella was okay with this. Did I not tell you to expect the worst if you surprised her? What the hell were you thinking going behind her back? That is not how we conduct business here. Now maybe you didn't know, maybe you didn't understand her reasons. That part is not totally your fault."

Looking quickly at Bella I added, "I told you this would happen, didn't I? I fucking told you that if you did not come clean with him about your past, this was a possibility. But no, you had to go and try to weave some more bullshit together with Renee to try and keep it all hidden. Well, your past has finally caught up to you, not that it ever really left you alone. And to be honest, I couldn't be more pleased. Live your life, Bella. Get out of the fucking past and live your life now. This is your golden opportunity to move on. Take it. Run with it. Worship it. Whatever, just do it."

Bella sat in complete shock, staring at me with wide eyes. When I saw her start shaking her head I seriously considered taking the damn shoe that was currently stuck in the wall like a dart, and hitting her in the head with it. Will this girl ever get the sense knocked into her? I was taking matters into my own hands whether she liked it or not.

I started slowly and calmly, "Bella, I will give you the choice. You either tell Emmett the story right now, or so help me God, I will do it for you. I am tired of the secrets. You have been pussy-footing around this for years. I know what day it is and I think that is one of the reasons you are taking this so hard, but it's been over nine years. You made your decision, there is no going back. Talking about this might be a cathartic experience for you. Hell, if nothing else, consider this practice for the big show, because you will need to come clean with Edward, too."

* * *

**** Bella's POV ****

All I can say is that the past few minutes between Emmett and I seemed like a total blur. One minute I was walking into my office to confront him about the deal and the next; I was leaping through the air at him like a God-Damned spider monkey. I have always had a temper, don't get me wrong, but never in my life have I lashed out at someone the way I did at Emmett. In my opinion, my feelings were completely justified; however I also knew that my behavior was completely despicable. I couldn't believe that Rose of all people, had to be called in as a referee. How embarrassing!

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and realized that the entire front office had heard our little exchange of words. They were all standing and staring with mouths agape through the glass wall and into my office. Alice caught my gaze and ran over to the window, quickly closing the blinds and shutting off contact with the outside world. The shame of my actions was too much for my already strained emotional state and I began to quietly sob.

_Shit, this really is the worst "Dark Day" of my life!_

I knew Alice was right. I needed to come clean about my past with Edward, but I didn't really know where to begin. Should I simply tell them that we had dated for a while in high school and that I found him with another girl? While that would be the easy explanation, I knew that they would see that I was dancing around the real issue at hand. Not to mention, Alice would surely be disappointed in my explanation.

How does a girl begin to tell her best friends that she had been harboring a secret, mostly alone, for all the time that they had know each other. How did I tell them about the night that forever shattered every hope and dream for my future? For years, I had gotten away with not having had to share these painful details with anyone, but I guess the old saying about time having a way of catching up with you wasn't a lie. Father Time himself, was gaining ground on my ass and I knew I needed to lay it all out on the line for them; every detail, every secret, and every regret. Everything needed to be shared.

After asking a silent prayer to my Dad and Jacob for the strength to get through this, I cleared my throat, looked my family in the eyes, and began recounting for them my long and painful history with Edward Masen.

Taking a deep breath I whispered, "Well, I guess it is pretty obvious that I know more about Edward Masen than you all originally thought."

Still pissed, Emmett interrupted, "You think? Bella cut the shit and get to the point. Did you two have a one-night stand or something?"

A one-night stand? How I wish it was a simple "in and out" one-night stand, but this was most definitely not the case. Knowing that I had three sets of eyes staring intently at me, I acknowledged there was no way around the issue any longer.

I hung my head in resignation, and with all the confidence I could muster, quietly admitted, "It wasn't a one-night stand. We dated during the second half of my senior year in high school."

No one seemed to respond and out of nervousness, my eyes darted up and scanned the room once more. Emmett and Rose continued to glare at me, not showing any type of reaction. Alice smiled as she was already well versed in the entire story, her eyes silently encouraging me to continue.

I let my mind quickly drift back to the first day that I saw him, on the Forks High School baseball field ten years ago. The images so clear, like it had taken place only yesterday. I was reporting for the school newspaper and was meeting Angela and Jake at the field. The entire school was abuzz with the gossip of the new student by the name of Edward Masen. The girls whispered about how beautiful he was and the guys talked about how great of a baseball player he was rumored to be. Although I was intrigued about why there was such a fuss over the boy, I personally hadn't given much thought to the assumably cocky new jock. I strutted out towards the field like it was any other day ready to report on our shitty ass team.

Still pondering our instantaneous attraction and how much I loved him from the first moment I saw him, my thoughts were broken with another question, this time from Rose. "Ok, so we get how you know him, but why would you still hold feelings for an old high school boyfriend ten years later?" she coolly inquired.

It was at this moment that every feeling I had ever felt for Edward Mason came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. Every smile he had ever given me, every kiss we had ever had, every dream we had ever shared flashed through my mind like a movie reel. I could feel his soft, yet strong lips caressing mine as he would kiss me. I could feel the sense of security he always brought to me as he used his thumb to rub calming strokes on my hand when he held it in his. I could still feel the intense power his sparkling, emerald green eyes had on me when he looked deep into my soul. And when he would give me that crooked smile, my knees would practically buckle, rendering me putty in his capable, talented hands. There was no doubt about it, I was, and still am, hopelessly in love with Edward Masen.

I swallowed the knot in my throat, practically choking on the intense images filtering through my mind and continued my story. "It was more than a little high school crush. Fue Flechazo, as Edward once referred to it. We were in love from the first time our eyes met."

Emmett's head shot up like a rocket from the floor, Rose's stare became so intense that it looked as if she was trying to see into my thoughts, and Alice's face began to show signs of pain and compassion as she knew what was yet to come.

Not having the strength to entertain their thoughts at the moment, my mind regressed to the first time I saw him on the field. He came crashing into the stands for a foul ball, literally falling at my feet. The moment I first held Edward's gaze, I knew he was my forever. It felt as if there was an imaginary magnetic pull towards him, and neither of us could break through the force field. The only word I can think of that would come close to describing this feeling, was... intense, but yet, this did it absolutely no justice. Even now, I can remember how frantically my heart was beating, how my breathing was slightly labored and how my stomach quivered with anticipation. It was at this exact moment, that I felt the tingles and knew that nothing would ever be the same.

_Oh my, how I miss the tingles, my Edward. I wish I didn't love you so much._

Still lost in my own memories, my thoughts drifted to the events taking place after the game was over. For some strange reason, I couldn't bring myself to leave. In my mind, I knew that my feelings were completely ridiculous, considering we had never spoken, but my heart had a mind all of it's own. Not wanting to make a complete fool of myself, I quickly said goodbye to Jake and Angela, and sent them home with some random excuse about having stay to complete something for the paper. I sat frozen on those bleachers waiting for him.

After what seemed like an eternity, I had a sudden sensation of an electrical current pierce through my spine. Stunned, I looked up quickly and saw him walking back towards the field, his eyes burning into me with an intensity I had never known. Taken off guard, I eventually worked up the nerve to speak to this beautiful boy, timidly feeding him some crap about writing an article on him for the paper. Even though this was only half true, I couldn't leave without seeing him again. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I had this urge to talk to him, to be near him, to touch him. There was no way around it, I was completely insane.

"Insane?" Emmett asked sounding a tad annoyed. "What the hell are you even talking about? You're not making any sense."

Guessing that I must have begun thinking aloud, I shook off his question, not quite ready to let them in on my memories. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, ignoring the three sets of eyes that were attempting to wait patiently for me to continue.

My mind once again digressed to the past and I remembered Edward's reaction to my transparent excuse to talk to him. While I was completely expecting a typical baseball player's cocky ass response, I was shocked when I heard that deep, velvet voice for the first time. Imagine my complete and utter surprise when he seemed just as nervous and drawn to me as I was to him. It was so damn strange to say the least. I'd never believed in that love at first sight crap that fairy-tales are made of, but there really was no other way to describe it. We were inseparable from the start. Being away from him was like suffocating. He was my air. He made me feel whole, even though I didn't know there was anything missing.

Again breaking up my thoughts, it was Alice who finally spoke up. "Bella," she said with a strong, yet compassionate voice "you need to tell them what happened. Please, just trust them enough to open up."

Reluctantly understanding what she was getting at, I knew there was no reason to drag such memories out any longer.

"Emmett, you are completely correct," I said with all the strength I could muster. "It doesn't seem like I am making any sense, because the relationship that Edward and I had never _did_ make any sense."

Our relationship blossomed quickly to say the least, yet it oddly didn't seem in the least bit rushed. It was so freakishly natural. With very little adult supervision from either of our families, we progressed into a sexual relationship in only about three weeks. That's crazy, I know, but he knew me and I knew him and it was just...right. Like I said, I knew we were going to be together forever, so moving into this type of relationship was only the next logical step.

Knowing that I had crossed the point of no return, I "manned-up" and decided it was time to tell them everything. It was now or never.

"There are no words to describe the pull Edward and I had to each other from the start. I couldn't breathe without him and he couldn't without me. It was as if we had been made for one another from the time we were born. He understood me and I him. Call it fate or destiny or whatever, but from the moment our eyes locked, we knew we were meant to be together forever," and with that, I let out a loud sigh.

Before I had time to recover from my previous thoughts, Rose looked at me with wondering eyes and asked, "Did you sleep with him?"

In a voice barely above a whisper, I could only state, "Yes."

Never in the history of the world, was it so difficult to say a three letter word. But here I am, ten years later, barely able to breathe when asked whether Edward and I had slept together. I know it's preposterous. Obviously, over the years I have been with other men, but none of them ever had, or will have, the same power Edward Masen had over me. The vision of him rapt in our love making, could make me come undone within minutes.

In fact, I still remember driving myself to the Planned Parenthood offices in Port Angeles for birth control. Once there, they gave me a prescription for Ortho Tri-cyclin and I started right away.

_Humph. It would have been nice for someone to tell me that the pills took over a month to be effective. I guess it was important to read the information packet after all. Stupid eighteen year old girl!_

Now that the question had been asked, I knew that it was time to "drop the bomb" on the rest of the story. Looking at Alice for reassurance, I quietly said, "To make a long story short, I was on birth control, but was never informed on how long it would take for it to be effective….." holding back tears, I finally mumbled "so,... I became pregnant."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. No one sighed and no one moved. Outside of Renee, Jake, and Alice, I had never told another living soul about the pregnancy. It wasn't as if I was ashamed of being pregnant, because I wasn't. Sure, no eighteen year old girl wakes up in the morning and says "Gosh, I hope I get pregnant today," but I remember that I really wasn't too scared, because I was so sure of what Edward and I had. I knew he would support me and our baby because our love was that strong, but I guess the gods had a different plan.

_Fucking Lauren! I hate that girl!_

Needing to break the silence, Emmett walked over to me, took my small hands into his, and quietly asked, "Bells, what did he do when you told him?"

I sighed loudly, knowing that this part of the story couldn't be avoided any longer. I finally knew it was time to relive the most painful night of my life.

"Emmett," I said through soft tears, "the night I found out about the baby, Edward and I had a little argument about Jake and the graduation party down by the reservation. To make a long story short, Edward was jealous, he wanted all of my attention, and I had already promised Jake to spend a little time with him because I was planning on leaving for Chicago in a few days. Edward tried to give me an ultimatum, which sort of pissed me off. After having a not so nice round of words with one another, I told him that I would meet him at the party later," I sighed.

I tightened my grip on Emmett's hands while the rest of the details came bubbling out without even thinking. I told them about getting to the party and asking where Edward was and being directed towards the beach. I closed my eyes, bracing myself, knowing that this next part of the story was going to be the most painful. It still felt so fresh in my mind.

Taking a long pause, I tried to gather myself together. I knew the time had finally come, but before I could get the words out, Rose gently asked, "What was his reaction when you told him?"

My mind flashed and I saw them, so clear, it was like looking through a picture window.

I fell into Emmett's chest and completely broke down into the same sobbing mess I had been this morning. Thankfully, I was still holding onto Emmett because without him, I would have collapsed, completely breaking down on the floor of my office.

"Rose," I paused attempting to calm my crying, "I never got to tell him. I went to the beach to find him, to tell him about the baby, to tell him I didn't want to spend the summer away from him, to tell him I knew we could do this together,...that I loved him. But, when I got there, I saw that he wasn't alone."

Like a protective older brother, Emmett tightened his grip around me attempting to keep his voice calm, "Bells, what do you mean he wasn't alone?"

"When I got closer, I saw that he was sound asleep with this other girl, Lauren. They only a blanket covering them and their clothes were scattered all around them, so it was pretty fucking obvious what happened. My feet froze and I stared completely confused at the two of them, until I saw her lift her head and look straight at me. She smirked, looking completely smug and simply said, 'Sorry, Bella.'"

And with that, my mind went blank. I knew more needed to be said, but for a minute, I needed to close my memory of that day off. I needed to think of nothing in order to tell them the rest.

Still in my state of darkness, I vaguely heard Rose furiously utter, "That fucker!"

Her comment startled me. I suppose it should have been obvious that they would be angry with him, but it still caught me off guard. All these years, I have never really been angry with Edward. The hurt, actually, was always the predominant emotion. Baffled, I realized I never really went through the stages of grief in the correct way. I opened my mouth to defend him, when Alice knew what I was going to do and immediately interjected, encouraging me to finish the story.

I quickly gave them the rest of the story. Beginning with how I ran away the next morning to Chicago, without even an explanation to Edward. My reluctance to admit to the pregnancy, until Alice had noticed the slight bulge in my jeans. My homecoming with Renee in Phoenix and my decision to continue the pregnancy. My inability to find Edward when I realized he had a right to know. Putting off college for a year to figure out what was best for me and the baby. And finally, my ultimate decision to give the baby up for adoption.

"Anyways, this particular day is always hard for me, like Alice said. Today was the day she was born, which is why it is even harder for me to deal with all of this right now," I added, hoping it would put an end to the entire conversation.

"Oh, Bella. I am so sorry. So that is why you were so withdrawn and shy when you first came to Northwestern. I always wondered why you were the way you were," Rose expressed with a sad sigh.

I looked at my best friend, her blue eyes so sad, and recognized for the first time that by withholding this information from her, it looked like I didn't trust her. "I should have told you a long time ago, Rose. It's just...and I know this is a piss-poor excuse, but...people judge. I didn't want you judging me. When I came to college, I desperately just wanted a friend that was real, someone who just thought I was a normal freshman with normal insecurities. It's not that I didn't trust you, please understand that, it was just easier not to talk about it," I pleaded.

Alice snorted, "Well you needed to talk about it. You have ignored your true feelings for years. Agreeing to a loveless marriage that did nothing but hold you back even more, traipsing around..."

_Wow! Alice is in full on bitch mode today, isn't she? Simmer down there tiny!_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you dare, Alice. I loved Jake, you know that. He had been nothing but wonderful to me for as long as I knew him. Don't you slander his good name." I was suddenly livid. How dare she speak to me with such malice in her voice about my sweet Jake.

"I've always wondered about that," Rose said deep in thought. Emmett quickly agreed with her.

"No, fuck that, Bella. I love you, like my own sister, but I have been holding all this in for years, watching you suffer. Now that it is all out on the table, I will be damned if I let you continue to live in denial. You loved Jake as a friend, Bella, never as a lover. You were lucky his heart was too weak to have sex, because I don't think you could have been intimate with him if you would have had to."

Alice began pacing around the room, a little ball of nervous, pent-up energy. She continued to rant, "His constant coddling of your emotions, held you back. He allowed you to believe that everything you did was perfectly acceptable. He never let you to see or admit to all the mistakes you have made. You've never gotten over Edward. That's why you can't have a relationship with anyone else. You took the safe way out, afraid to get hurt again, and married your sick and dying best friend. And you've clung to him, to his memory, ever since. I'm not saying he was a bad guy overall, he most certainly loved you, Bella. I'm simply stating that you were lost and I think he took advantage of that to get what he wanted."

I wanted to be angry with Alice, but she was right. I had taken the easy way out with Jake. He loved me, he knew all my deepest secrets, and I knew he would never hurt me. Simply put, he was safe. I figured the least I could do for all of his years of friendship was to marry him before he died.

Just then a knock came at the door and Emmett went to open it. Our GM, Hendry was there and said it was time for the official press release regarding Edward's contract. Emmett groaned but told him he would meet him in the press room in about ten minutes.

"All of this would have been much nicer to know about a month ago, Bella. There isn't much we can do about him now, you know. I can't believe he acted like he didn't know who you were when I met him. He'll be lucky if I don't kick his ass the next time I see him," Emmett dead-panned.

I had spent so many years protecting Edward from the truth. I suppose it was also a way to protect myself. I didn't want to deal with him finding me, as the hurt was just so fresh at the time. When he was drafted by the Diamondbacks, I made my mom promise to keep the fact that he was the father of our child a secret from Phil. I wanted Edward to succeed and be happy. He deserved that much here, as well. I honestly don't think he knows I am the owner of the team. Something in the back of my mind told me that, if he knew, he would have come to find me.

"No, Emmett," I said with authority. "This is a personal matter between me and Edward. You can't really blame him, when he doesn't know the truth. He wasn't acting about not knowing I own the team because he doesn't know. I made Renee promise to keep that secret. This is my mess and I have to fix it and I promise I will, when the time is right. I need you to treat him the same as you have been. If he suspects something is wrong, we're going to have problems. He was the right player for our organization, you made the right decision. We need him here and I'm sorry I let my personal feelings cloud my business sense. Now go down there and look excited when you make the announcement."

Emmett hesitated, "But, Bella..."

Shaking my head, I assured him, "Don't, Emmett. Trust me, I will be fine. I support this decision, one hundred percent. We'll work this out. Please don't say anything to him. I need to figure this all out on my own and decide the best way to approach it. Now go, so I can sneak out of here and go clean myself up at home. I need all the press occupied so they don't see me leaving here with a torn skirt and broken heel."

Emmett chuckled, but conceded after I agreed to have dinner with him later tonight. Once the live press conference started, Alice helped me slip unnoticed out of the building. I couldn't wait to get back home, alone. I needed some time to really process all of today's events. It was without a doubt the worst Dark Day I had ever known, but I felt like somewhere off in the distance I could see a glimmer of light, a glimmer of hope.

* * *

**A/N****:**

**So what did you think about Bella's breakdown? Do you like her more or less now? Please review and let us know. Reunion will coming up shortly. **

**In case anyone was wondering, Fue flechezo is Spanish for "It was love at first sight."**

**So, some stories we are loving right now: Living Backwards by ciaobella27 and Near You Always by ebalways. If you aren't reading them, you should definitely check them out.**

**If you are interested you can follow us on our new story blog for teasers and the story playlist at http(colon)//dpattinson(dot)blogspot(dot)com or on Twitter(dot)com/DSDF22**


	7. Three Very Different Types of Dreams

**Author's Note****: Okay, okay, I know we have kept you waiting for this chapter and I apologize, but it sorta kicked my ass. So be nice to me and review at the end, so I know if all my sleepless nights were really worth it.**

**Thank you to all our new readers, I am glad you are enjoying the story and once again to Gondolier for her rec. on TLYDF blog, as we are still getting new readers from your site.**

**A very special thanks to our new Beta Shaelove, for taking the time to help me with this chapter and get it right. And also for our Twilighted Betas Totoro and qjmom for encouraging our writing.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

* * *

**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 7: Three Very Different Types of Dreams**

_**Song Selections:**_

_**"Crash" by Dave Matthews Band**_

_**"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by Marilyn Manson**_

_**"Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down**_

_**"Let it Rock" by Kevin Rudolph feat. Lil' Wayne**_

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* * *

_

****Edward POV****

_She was so beautiful. Her eyes bored into me, heavily hooded, with a level of intensity I have never seen. Her long, brown hair cascading out around her head on the blanket framing her heart-shaped face. Her full, luscious lips were quivering in anticipation. A soft moan escaped her mouth as my lips lightly brushed up against the sensitive area behind her ear. "You're so beautiful, Isabella," I whispered in her ear. _

"_Oh, Edward. I really want this. I don't want to wait anymore," she breathlessly proclaimed._

_God, I wanted this so badly. It was all so fast, though. Were we ready for this? Fuck, I wanted to be ready, because she looked so god-damned amazing lying there beneath me. _

_The setting could not have been more perfect for our first time together. We were in our special place, a small meadow, hidden deep in the woods. Wildflowers in every color imaginable dotted the open field. It was a warm and sunny afternoon, so rare for spring in Washington._

_I slid my hand down the front of her shirt, tentatively touching her breast and gently squeezing. Her breasts were the perfect size, molding faultlessly into my palm. I could feel myself hardening and becoming uncomfortable against the strain of my jeans. I let my hand wander lower, brushing over her taught abdomen to the curve of her hip. A small sigh slipped from my mouth. I gently lifted the hemline of her shirt wanting to feel the soft skin of her stomach against my hand. It was pure silkiness. _

_Bella sat up slowly, making eye contact with me, before confidently lifting her shirt over her head. I was mesmerized by her allure, the way the curves of her small body dipped inward in all the right places as her arms stretched into the air. She placed her shirt on the blanket and then looked deep into my eyes, once again sucking in and lightly biting on the right corner of her lower lip in the sexiest__pose I have ever seen. How the hell could she be so sanguine? I, myself, was coming to pieces. _

_Sensing my apprehension, she cautiously__reached towards the hemline of my pants grabbing my belt loops and pulled me towards her. Never breaking eye contact, her hands slowly made their way up to my hips where she fisted my shirt and began to tug it up my torso. "I need to feel you, Edward. Please," she whispered in my ear as my shirt came up over my head._

_I bit my lip nervously as she lifted and then discarded my shirt next to hers. I couldn't refuse this beautiful creature anything. She touched my chest, placing her hand over my heart. She had to have been able to feel it practically beating out below my ribcage. I stared at her, questions burning within my eyes. Practically trembling, I said "Bella, do you know what you're doing to me? Are you sure about this? We can wait baby, there is no rush."_

_She leaned toward me and captured my lips with hers. "Stop thinking, Edward. Just feel." _

_Our lips began working in synchronization, slowly at first and then deepening as I turned my brain off and let my emotions take over. Our tongues furiously caressing against one another. She had her hands in my hair roughly grabbing to pull herself closer. She softly bit my lower lip and I nearly lost all control. I grabbed the back of her neck with one hand and her lower back with the other as I lowered her down onto the blanket. Hovering above her, my lips dropped to her jaw, placing open mouthed kisses along her neck until I reached her collarbone. I slid my tongue across the ridge and over to her delicate shoulder, sucking softly as I reached behind her and quickly flicked open her bra clasp. I pulled the straps down her arms and tossed it aside. _

_She lay in front of me, her upper body fully exposed to me now, and I gasped at the beauty that was pure Bella. Her areolas were the most exquisite shade of pink, her nipples hardening at once in the light breeze. My mouth was immediately drawn to her full breasts, as if there was some type of supernatural force drawing them together. My tongue lightly circled her nipple. I blew on it gently and then flicked it with my tongue before fully bringing it into my mouth and sucking on it. Once again, her hands began weaving themselves into my hair as she pulled me closer towards her. I couldn't resist nipping at her nipple when she began moaning in pleasure. Fuck! I was so worked up. I didn't know if I would be able to stop if she changed her mind._

_Bella moved her hands from my scalp, sliding them over the back of my neck, lightly scratching as she worked down my back. The sensation was so overwhelming, that I shuddered against her touch, dropping my head into the valley between her perfect breasts and groaned. _

_My breathing was becoming more labored, as I continued losing the virtually non-existent shreds of control that I so desperately tried to cling to. I began frantically kissing down her abdomen, my hands latching on tightly to her hips. Her exquisite smell was so overwhelming. The__mixture of florals and fruit, was so sweet, so tempting, that there was only one way to describe it… So Bella._

_My hands worked on their own accord, releasing her hips and sliding down to her milky thighs, as I whimpered at the smoothness against my palms. She was wearing a mid-thigh lengthed red skirt. The slit that came up the left side exposing her leg, was so fucking sexy. I felt for the bottom of her skirt and roughly pushed the material upwards around her belly. My hand slid between her inner thighs and I could feel the heat radiating from her core. A guttural growl escaped my lips as my hand felt her wetness soaked through her panties. "God, Bella. You are so wet, baby" I mewled._

_Bella leaned forward, her hands desperately searching for my belt buckle. She pulled me up towards her once more, kissing my lips chastely as she unhooked the belt and ripped the button of my jeans open. Wanting to help her, my hand went for my zipper and I quickly shoved my jeans down to my ankles and then kicked them aside. Wanting her as naked as I was, I found the small zipper on the side of her skirt and quickly lowered it as well. Bella lifted her hips as I pulled it down over her legs. The only clothing separating us now was my boxer briefs and her little white and red polka-dot cotton thong. _

_I lowered us both back down to the blanket, holding myself up by my elbows so I wouldn't crush her. Christ, I was so hard for her. Our bodies felt so amazing up against each other naked. Unconsciously, we began moving against one another, gyrating our hips in perfect unison. Bella held onto my back tightly. I reached down and slid her underwear to the side feeling her soft folds for the first time. Her slick juices covered my hand. I practically melted as I realized I had found the only place I wanted to call home. _

_Bella purred in pleasure, so I slid my index finger up towards her clitoris and she gasped as I made contact with her nerve fibers. I quickly opened my eyes to make sure I hadn't hurt her and when I did, I knew this was not the case. What I saw, was one of the most fucking beautiful sights I had ever seen. Her eyes were closed, her bottom lip was slightly sucked into her mouth, with a look of pure pleasure on her face. My God she was beautiful! Reassured, I started massaging her nub slowly and gently at first. As her moaning became more pronounced, however, I pressed with more force, emboldened, and then slid one finger into her warm opening._

"_Ungh! Oh God,...Edward, so...good. Don't...stop. Please," she panted breathlessly._

_With this, I slid a second finger inside her, turning my hand palm up so I could return to massaging her clit with my thumb. I curled my fingers upwards in the shape of a hook, hoping to find her G-spot as I thrusted quickly, yet softly in and out of her. As I did this, her body began to tremble and I felt her legs shaking around me. Her fingers grabbed desperately for the blanket as her back arched up off the ground. I felt her insides pulsing around my fingers, before her juices spilled down my hand. _

_Overwhelmed by the intensity of her orgasm, I quickly wrapped my hand around her thong, ripped it off and threw it to the side of the blanket. As I did this, her eyes widened in surprise, but then changed to lust as she could feel my engorged cock straining against my boxers. Realizing that I was too far gone, I first had to ask, had to be positive that this is what she wanted. "Are you sure, Bella?" I asked looking deeply into her beautiful brown eyes. "If I take these off, I don't know if I'll be able to stop again."_

"_I've never been more sure about anything, Edward. I want you,...No,... I need you, inside of me now, baby. Please don't make me beg you. Please," she quietly pleaded._

_Fuck, was she kidding me? No way in hell was begging necessary! I had wanted to do these things to her; to make love to her, to cherish her, to show her that she was my forever since the first time I met her. I brusquely pulled off my boxers and lowered myself back down to her, our fully naked bodies touching for the first time. I nearly came the second my dick made contact with her warm center. I froze, not wanting to make an ass out of myself. I couldn't have her think I was some kind of one minute man. I worked to try and calm my breathing, concentrating on reciting Ken Caminiti's stats from last season in my head. Yeah it was fucking lame, but my God I wanted to make this moment last as long as earthly possible._

_When the sensation finally passed, I slowly began entering into her. I stopped halfway, letting her adjust to my size. She felt so warm and tight around me. _

_Holy shit! Does it get any better than this? Let me think…Fuck No!_

_When she began bucking her hips up towards me, I gave in and entered her completely. Bella wrapped her legs tightly around my hips to bring us closer, her fingers once again lacing into my hair. Trying to hold my upper body slightly off of her, I started pumping in and out of her slowly, yet deliberately. I brought my lips to her neck and began placing open mouthed kisses into the crook. We were both panting and moaning into each other's shoulders as our bodies worked in unison. Christ, we fit together so perfectly. The intensity of the situation was only enhanced by the tingles of electric current that always seemed to be present whenever we touched. _

_I knew I wouldn't be able to last much longer._

_Reaching down between our bodies, I began rubbing over her clit again. "Come for me, Bella. Baby, I need you to come for me again," I whispered breathlessly._

_Bella's moans grew louder as she once again began to tremble. Her hands knotting into my hair, she tugged it so roughly, I wondered if she might pull it straight out. The pain however, was squelched as I watched her mouth form a perfect "O" shape and her insides spasmed around me; the sensation bringing me to the edge. Feeling my eyes rolling back into my head, I plunged myself deeper into her, releasing with a loud grunt as a mirage of white lights began showering behind my eyes, before I collapsed in a heap on top of her. I rolled to the side as quickly as possible, not wanting to hurt my beautiful girl, then grabbed her around the waist, pulling her against me. With her head on my chest and arms around my waist, I could lay with my Bella like this forever. It was truly heaven, right here on Earth._

_I was so fucking spent, I kept my eyes closed as my breathing slowed and returned back to normal. I loved this girl beyond reason, and couldn't believe that she was actually mine. Did she know what she meant to me, how she had changed my life for the better when she unexpectedly walked into it? My confidence surging in the afterglow of our sex, I opened my mouth and said the three words I never thought I'd ever ell a woman. "I love you, Bella. I promise you, now and forever, that I will love you and only you." _

_I waited for her to reply, to say something, anything. I had just bared my fucking soul to her; I needed to hear her voice. Panic rising, I hastily opened my eyes to gauge her reaction. I looked around but she wasn't there. Confused, I realized I was no longer in our meadow, in fact I was fully dressed laying on my bed, clutching a pillow in my old bedroom back in Forks. Bella was nowhere to be found. _

_I sat up quickly and called out for her, but I heard no response. I jumped off my bed searching frantically throughout my house for her, but she wasn't there. All of a sudden, I felt a tremendous wave of fear. My heart was pounding, my chest hurt, and it was getting harder to breathe. I thought I was going to die. As the panic surged through my body, I tried to figure out where the love of my existence could be. Where could she have gone? _

_My mother came quickly from the kitchen to meet me. Her eyebrows furrowed, questioning me, "Edward, what's wrong? Why are you shouting? You're going to wake your father, dear."_

_Something was wrong, terribly wrong. I could feel it deep inside, deep to my core. Terror-stricken, I asked "Where is she? Where is Bella?" A dream-like sensation came over me as images of her flashed through my mind like a movie. She was smiling and clapping, watching me during one of my games. Another one was of her sitting by the river that ran behind my house, playfully splashing water at me. Then one of her smiling shyly at me, while peering under her long lashes in the cafeteria popped into my head. The images continued to come so fast, that I had to brace myself against the door frame due to their intensity. The last one I saw, however, was something I wish I could forget. It was of her scowling face after the fight we had over Jake. Fucking Jake!_

_And with this, my heart completely broke. A loud sob escaped through my lips, before I crumpled over at the waist clutching my stomach. No, no I didn't want her to be sad. What had I done? I had to find her._

_My mother interrupted my thoughts, "Edward! Oh my God, are you okay? Honey, whatever are you talking about? Bella's not here. You told me she left town just yesterday." _

_My head starting shaking back and forth in denial. I clenched my eyes shut tightly. I couldn't breathe. No, this wasn't possible. I couldn't lose her again. Where was she? The terror overtaking me, I began shouting for her again. "Bella, Bella!" My mom came towards me, grabbing my arm, trying to hold me still. Her strength was no match for me, as I tore myself from her screaming her name one last time, "Bellllaaa!"_

I sat up abruptly, my breathing labored. I was sitting in a bed and covered in sweat. I glanced around at my unfamiliar surroundings having no idea where the hell I was, when I spotted a USC blanket on a chair in the corner of the room. Realization hit me, and I finally remembered that I was in Jasper's guestroom.

I was dreaming, but it wasn't a dream. It was a fucking nightmare.

The nightmare, unfortunately, wasn't a new one. Over the years, I frequently had dreams about Bella. They were all similar and usually consisted of me losing her and then desperately searching to find her. I, gut wrenchingly, always came up empty. This particular dream was much more vivid though, so real. My mind was still swimming with memories and I became cognizant of the fact that I would not just be able to lay back down and go to sleep.

I looked over at the digital clock, which read 3:44. Sighing, I rolled myself out of the bed and wandered towards the kitchen, opening random cabinets until I found a glass. I pushed the button on the front of the refrigerator for the crushed ice and then filled it with water. Leaning against the counter I took a long drink. The cool temperature of the liquid helped to rid my body of the sweaty perspiration.

I had flown into Chicago yesterday morning and spent the day signing contracts and undergoing the required physical exams with the team physician. I was supposed to meet with a realtor this morning and then join up with Jasper at Wrigley Field around two o'clock for the official media announcement of my signing. I was looking forward to the press-conference, hoping I could finally meet with both owners and settle some of my nerves.

Needing a distraction, I walked outside onto Jasper's balcony to take in the city skyline. The cold air hit me with a shot, but it was oddly soporific. The city lights were something to behold, so different than my home in Phoenix. It would take some getting use to for sure, but I looked forward to exploring more of this town and making it my home. I was in desperate need of a fresh start and knew this place could give me just that.

Feeling placated, I headed back inside, locking the door behind me. I stopped in the bathroom quickly before heading back to bed. An odd sense of peace overcame me as I drifted back to sleep, dreamlessly.

**~XXXXXX~**

When I woke up again, the light was shining brightly in through the window. It was almost eight-thirty and I had about an hour to get dressed and meet up with the realtor. I took a quick shower and threw on some faded Diesel jeans and a black cable-knit sweater layered over a long sleeved white t-shirt. I would most likely need to purchase a whole new wardrobe if I decided to live here year-round, as my Arizona clothes were not going to cut it. Jasper had lent me one of his coats to wear for the time being, but said he had spoken to Emmett about having his sister meet up with me to get a few essentials. Apparently, she was some sort of buyer for Bloomingdale's.

_Fucking great! How I hate shopping. Honestly, can't she just pick out my clothes and send me the bill?_

I grabbed one of Jasper's protein bars before locking up and heading down to my rental car. I was supposed to meet the realtor at a new high-rise called The Peshtigo. When I got down into the parking garage, I set the GPS to the correct address and then headed out.

Traffic wasn't quite as bad as it I thought it would be at this time of morning. I guess I had missed the heavy rush hour, but within the city, traffic was always congested. I found the building pretty easily at the corner of E. Grand Ave and N. Peshtigo Ct. There was a line on the Visitors side of the gate into the garage, probably holding for the guard to confirm the person was supposed to be here after all. As I sat waiting at the corner of the garage area, a dark blue convertible Ferrari caught my eye. The car itself would have captured my attention, it was beautiful, but the fact that it was cornering around the tightest of spaces at a speed well above what was appropriate for a parking garage made me gasp. The driver had to slam on the breaks before pulling into traffic.

The car skidded to a stop and I was shocked when I realized it was a woman. Okay, that is a sexist remark, I know but what can I say, I'm a guy! I do realize there are women who enjoy sports cars and driving fast, but the way that car was driven with such skill, cornering like it was on rails, I would have taken the driver for a Formula One racer.

Once the car was stopped I took a second to really peer in at the driver. She was quite stunning. Her long chocolate brown hair was cascading over her shoulders and truly complemented the light pink sweater she was wearing. She turned her head slightly in my direction before her tires screeched out into the traffic. My breath caught while my heart fluttered like a hummingbird. _Bella_.

My instinct was to do a quick U-turn and to try to follow after her, but then reality set in. This was not the first time I thought I had seen my past love. In fact, over the years I had convinced myself multiple times that I had found her, only to make an ass out of myself when I approached the girl. Honestly, if they had dark brown hair and chocolate colored eyes, I always did a double-take. This most recent episode most likely being brought on by the intensity of my dream last night. I knew that I had to find a way to move on because this obsession with her was seriously unhealthy.

_Get your shit together, Masen! Come on, guy. Let's try to focus today, shall we?_

Shaking my head, I tried to push Bella out of my head as I parked my car and headed into the lobby. I met a tall, mahogany-haired beauty that introduced herself to me as Heidi. She had on a designer ginger colored wrap dress with intricately cut diamond panels at the neck line that really set off the highlights in her hair. The dress stopped a few inches above her knees prominently displaying her long shapely leg. If my mind wasn't so wrapped up in Bella, I would have probably said she was breathtaking. I followed Heidi up the elevator and we looked at a condo unit on the forty-third floor that was nice, but a little smaller than I had hoped to find. She suggested we hit up Aqua, which was another newer high-rise located in The Loop District, where there was apparently a penthouse space open on the eighty-first floor.

We drove separately to the building, just in case I was running short on time before the press-conference. As I turned onto N. Columbus Avenue I could see the architecturally unique building. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. The balconies came out of the side giving the building a rippled effect, almost like water. The amenities in the building were aplenty. There was a fitness center, a jogging track, basketball courts, two pools, and really anything else you could ever think to wish for in one place.

We looked at a few open units on the way up to the penthouse, but nothing really caught me eye. When we reached the eighty-first floor, I stepped off the elevator, not expecting to be as blown away by the view as I was. The penthouse unit was approximately three thousand square feet, with four bedrooms and three and half baths. The unit was completely upgraded with marble countertops and beautiful dark bamboo flooring. The balcony faced south and had exquisite views of the city, marina and lake shoreline. I fell in love with it instantly. The asking price was 1.99 million dollars. I talked to Heidi about my options and we made an official offer while I was there. She told me to expect to hear something in a few days.

After bidding good-bye to Heidi, I had to hurry to get to the stadium on time for the press-conference. I met Jasper and the Cubs' GM in a small conference room to go over some questions they expected me to answer, all pretty basic stuff. Emmett met us a few minutes later. He was polite, but seemed distant, sticking to strictly business conversation. I was disappointed when he told me Ms. Black would not be able to make it down for the conference today, but he assured me that everything was straightened out and that there was nothing to worry about; I would most likely meet her at Spring Training. At this point, I was beginning to feel as if the illusive Ms. Black was deliberately hiding from me for some reason. What the hell? I swear I've never met a Bella Black, so as to what the problem was I was completely flummoxed.

After the conference, Emmett gave me the address for Bloomingdale's and told me I was to meet Alice in her office there at four o'clock. I headed over towards the store and arrived a little earlier than necessary. I found a pizzeria only a few stores down called Frankie's on 5th. I decided on a Black Goat personal pizza. I hated eating in restaurants by myself, as waitresses always found it as an invitation to flirt shamelessly thinking that I could use the company. Yea right! The only company I ever wanted was for a hallucination that I have been seeing for the past ten years. Knowing that wasn't going to happen any time soon, or fucking ever, I sucked it up and dealt with it today, as I was way too hungry to care.

After paying the bill, I headed over to Bloomingdale's to meet with Alice. I must say that I was astounded when I saw her. She was the complete physical opposite of Emmett. She was just a little peanut. Whereas, Emmett was huge and burly, Alice was petite and pixie-like. Her spiky, chin-length black hair complemented her facial shape and her unusual grey-colored eyes. She smiled widely, her eyes twinkling and bounded over to greet me. I smiled realizing they obviously both had the same type of energy level, which seemed to run only on one level.. high. She enveloped me into a hug, insisted I call her Ali, like all of her friends, and told me she had heard so much about me. My head was spinning after just the introductions. My word, whoever is giving this little spit-fire so much caffeine needs to be fired. Good Lord!

We headed down the elevator to the Men's Department. Alice led me by the hand and into a dressing room, telling me she had already pulled a bunch of clothes for me to try on. Shopping was never really my favorite pastime, so I had to say that the fact that she was making it so much easier for me, certainly endeared her to me. She continued to make conversation the entire time I was trying on clothes. Alice was like a little fireball, running back and forth gathering different garments once she had a better idea of what I liked, and if I am being honest, what she felt looked best on me. I belatedly realized her energy level surely topped Emmett's without question. _Holy Shit!_ With this in mind, however, she grew on me and I found myself laughing carefree and easily with her, almost like I had known her for years.

It was easy to see why Alice was so great at her job. From personally selecting my clothing to personally ringing up my purchases, it didn't take a rocket scientist to understand how passionate she was about her job. I signed the credit card slip without even looking at it, in fear of what I would find, as I had no desire to see the damage I had done. Such a total probably would have done me in for the day. She told me she would have them delivered to Jasper's place so I wouldn't have to worry about trudging them up the elevator on my own, which I was grateful for. Anyways, I would look like a complete tool if I tried to carry all of those bags inside on my own.

"It was such a pleasure to finally meet you, Edward. I have a feeling you and I will be good friends, eventually. If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to call. I have lived here my whole life, so I know all the ins and outs," Alice said, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

I noticed she mentioned it was nice to meet me _finally_, which I felt was a little odd, since I hadn't known Emmett all that long, but I decided it probably meant nothing. It was just her type of personality. I asked her about a good place to have dinner and drinks at later tonight and she recommended the Elephant and Castle Pub. I told her she should join Jasper and I if she didn't have plans and she surprised me by accepting. We agreed to meet up around eight pm.

It was already six-thirty so I headed back to Jasper's place to get cleaned up. I always felt so disheveled after trying clothes on. I glanced in the rearview mirror and groaned when I saw my hair. Even on a good day it was always in a messy disarray, but right now, honestly there were no words to describe what was going on. It stuck up in some areas and lay completely flat and lifeless in others. In all honesty, I looked like a moron! I finger-combed it trying like hell to at least make it presentable to walk into the building, but unfortunately, it was of very little help.

Jasper was still at work when I arrived back at the condo, so I decided to jump in the shower so he could get in when he got home. I washed quickly, threw a towel around my waist and tried to put a little gel in my hair to tame it. When I walked out to the hall, I heard Jasper listening to ESPN in the living room. He must have heard the bathroom door open as he called out asking how my shopping trip went with a throaty chuckle.

"Fuck, man, you know I hate shopping. And Ali, well, she was a handful, but I liked her. She's a cool chick. She's actually going to meet us at some Elephant bar tonight around eight. You look like you could use a drink, bad day?" I asked.

Jasper threw his head back against the couch, grumbling, "Nah, just long. This time of the year is always crazy for me." He sighed looking completely exhausted, before his head shot back up. "Wait. Is Ali Emmett's sister? Son, your not wasting anytime here, huh?" Jasper smirked.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him before muttering, "Fuck you. She's cool, but I know better than to start hitting on the boss's sister my second night in town." He started chuckling to himself again, so I added an "Asshole" under my breath.

Jasper turned his attention back to the TV, dropping his head back against the couch once more. "Oh, chill out, Golden Boy. You're such a drama queen. By the way, there are about a hundred shopping bags that I had the doorman bring into your room. You better hope you get that penthouse, because you will probably have to turn one of those smaller bedrooms into a huge California Closet, especially after you move all of your stuff up from Phoenix. Did you buy up the whole Men's Department or what?" Jasper chided.

I threw myself down on the couch next to him in defeat. "Hell, that girl wouldn't take no for an answer. She insisted I would need each and every piece of clothing I purchased. You laugh, but wait until you meet her. She is a persistent little thing and believe me, she's got a certain charisma that makes it damn hard to refuse her."

Jasper gave me a disbelieving glance as I pushed myself up out of the couch and turned to walk back down the hall. I heard him snickering behind me so I flipped him the bird. He laughed loudly and called out, "Pussy" just as I was closing my door.

What an asshole I thought to myself, smiling. I couldn't deny that I had truly missed this type of friendly banter with my best friend. It made me feel like I was finally home. I felt lighter today than I had in almost a year, and couldn't help but feel optimistic that maybe my life was finally coming together as it should be.

* * *

****Alice POV****

After Bella's colossal meltdown this afternoon, I was in serious need of a strong drink. I was relieved that she had finally shared her secrets with Em and Rose, as it had been damn hard for me to try and advise Emmett without giving away what I knew about Edward. But the damage was already done. I could only hope that Bella would eventually work herself up to facing him as she should have years ago.

Emmett had come to me about a week ago asking me to help pull some winter clothes for Edward at Bloomingdale's. I won't lie; I was ecstatic to finally meet the infamous Edward Masen. The man has had my dear cousin twisted around his finger for years. After I got Bella safely and inconspicuously back to her car, I took off back to work. I had a few more things that were supposed to arrive this afternoon that I wanted to pull out for him.

At four o'clock on the dot, my secretary rang and told me my appointment was here. You have got to love a man who is punctual. Score one for Edward. Hmm...maybe I should try out the old Ali checklist with him to see how he scores. It had been a fool-proof list for judging men worthy of my dating in the past. Perhaps I could use it for Bella?

Attempting to control my excitement, I walked out to meet him. Edward was leaning against the doorframe to my office when I saw him. His jeans fit him like they were custom made for him and him alone while his sweater stretched across his broad chest, revealing every ripple of his chest and abdomen. He was pure eye-candy and I could instantly see why Bella was still fawning over him.

After introductions, I grabbed Edward's hand for the sole purpose of seeing whether he would shy away from it or if he would take it comfortably. I often did this to see if people were standoffish or friendly regardless of how long we had known each other. Edward gave me a questioning look, but willingly held my hand as I led him down to the private dressing room I had set aside for him. My internal girl wanted to squeal. Two points for Masen. He was on a roll and I was liking him more by the minute.

My third challenge was to see how he took it when I showed him the loads of clothing I had set aside for him. Men hated trying on clothes and most would have argued and gave me the "fuck no, you must be out of your mind" look when I brought them in. But Eddie, bless his little heart, just smiled and took it like a man. He tried on everything I brought him and even volunteered stuff he liked. And most importantly, he looked damn good while doing it. Three points.

Finally, on to the last challenge. I pretty much decided on my own to ring up all of the clothing that we had set aside in the "Yes" and "Maybe" piles. I had no idea if Edward would argue that he didn't need all of it or not. But low and behold, the man was perfect of course, because he gave me his credit card and didn't say a damn word. Obviously, I gave him a significant discount, but I don't even think he looked at the receipt when I handed it back to him.

He had passed every test on the Alice approval list. If I didn't know Bella was still in love with him, I might have tried to snag him for myself. There was no way around it at this point; I would get these two crazy kids back together if it killed me trying. First I needed to be able to get some more dirt on his personal life though. This should be rather interesting; as I am sure he didn't follow the lonely route Bella decided to take. Nothing like looking in someone's closet to see what they are hiding. This should be a treat!

When Edward invited me to join him later for drinks, there was no way I could pass it up. At this point, I wanted to jump up and down like a child because he was providing me with the perfect chance to feel him out. I needed to know whether there was anyone significant in his life before I put my plan to action. Despite her past actions, Bella was in desperate need of a happy ending and I just had the feeling that Edward would be just this. I was also more than curious to meet his friend Jasper, as Emmett had already mentioned to me that he thought we'd get along well.

After he left, I arranged a driver to take his bags back to Jasper's and then took off back to my condo. I needed the perfect outfit if I was going to meet the elusive Jasper Whitlock. After digging in my closet I decided on my Current/Elliot worn and shredded skinny jeans, a white cotton long sleeved tee layered with a black strappy vest and my Christian Louboutin slouchy black peep-toe boots. It was the perfect mix of casual and dressy, said that I was confident and put-together, yet approachable, and definitely not pretentious.

I wanted to get to the restaurant before the boys so I could grab us a table in the back, where it was a little quieter and we would be able to talk. I was lucky enough to grab one, without having to wait. The day was really starting to look up after its disastrous beginning, thank God! I ordered myself a Stoli Razz and soda and some spinach dip to nibble on until they arrived. I was, however, a tad worried that we may run into Bella here, as it is one of her favorite spots, but quickly decided that she would most likely be hunkered down in your penthouse all night long with Emmett. As sad as the sight of a broken Bella made me, I was glad to spend a few more hours with Edward and finally meet Jasper. Tonight was full of possibilities!

After scanning the restaurant for a few seconds, I locked eyes on Edward and he waved when seeing me at the table. I stood up and was pleasantly surprised to find him wearing one of his new outfits. I wanted to pat him on the head for being a good little boy. It looked as if he had been trained well. _Five points!_ The man certainly knew how to dress to accentuate himself that was for damn sure. The black button up shirt was rolled up to his elbows and the AG damaged jeans once again hugged him perfectly. I was more than a little proud of my masterpiece. He was such a good little student, perhaps even the top of the class. Well done, Masen! Okay, so I realize I can't take full credit for his handsomeness, but whatever, I'm a girl. When he turned suddenly to speak to the person behind him, my heart stopped.

The man I assumed to be Jasper was absolutely breathtaking. He looked like a Hollywood actor. His honey-blonde locks were slightly curly and longer on top of his head. He was lean, but muscular and just slightly taller than Edward. He wore a light grey v-neck cashmere sweater and a dark pair of jeans with a pair of black puma sneakers. I was impressed with his style, considering he had obviously done it on his own. A man after my very own heart.

I could feel my heart fluttering as he walked closer. Edward must have said something funny, because when he laughed his ice-blue colored eyes sparkled and his perfect white teeth shone. _ I was in love, like crazy L-O-V-E love! _Okay, maybe not love, but if someone had asked me to describe my perfect man, Jasper was him. I already said that tonight was full of possibilities. I really _must_ be psychic!

Edward gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek when he arrived at the table and then introduced Jasper and I. The beautiful man had a southern accent. _Oh, swoon! _He was like an early birthday gift from the gods. I really must have been a good girl because I love a man with an accent. _Good night!_ Still a tad taken aback by the perfect man, Jasper I mean, we sat down, ordered drinks and started talking.

Jasper and Edward recounted numerous memories of their days in college. I was impressed with their banter and was also glad both men seemed so relaxed with me, considering we had all just met a few hours ago. I found myself lost in their stories and laughing along as if I had been there right along with them. I told them stories about Emmett, Bella and I growing up and was surprised that Edward did not seem to show any recognition of Bella at all. I wanted to tell him the truth, really I did, but knew it wasn't my story to tell. Maybe she wasn't as important to him as he was to her. Hmmm….minus one point for Masen.

I knew I was here on an Edward information reconnaissance mission, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Jasper. Each time he looked at me, my heart raced and I nervously dipped my head or started twirling my hair. I felt like I was seventeen again and realized I had already begun planning our wedding and future together.

_Whoa there tiger! Pull it back a tad. You haven't even been alone with the beautiful boy yet. _

Sucking up all the courage I could muster, I finally asked if the two of them were seeing anybody. Edward smirked looking back and forth at me and Jasper before announcing that Jazz was "as single as they come." _Dammit! Was I being that obvious?_ Jasper dropped his eyes, then shook his head and laughed before looking at Edward. I had heard that Edward had quite the ladies-man reputation, so I was surprised when Jasper admitted that he couldn't have a "real" relationship because he was still too hung up on his high school girlfriend. Edward punched him in the arm and gave a sarcastic "Thanks, Jazz" before shifting nervously in his chair. I couldn't help but smile, as he looked so adorable in his embarrassment. With this little tidbit of information, I wanted to jump up and dance like the little naked baby on Ally McBeal, hug him, and shriek all at the same time. However, I couldn't do this. I just knew though, that things with Bella were going to work out and I quickly began formulating my fool-proof plan in my head. Plus _two_ points for Edward!

We headed out around one o'clock am since Jasper and I both had to work in the morning. When Edward excused himself to use the restroom, Jasper leaned over and asked for my phone number. Needless to say, I was beyond thrilled. I slowly took his phone from his hands, making sure my fingers lingered on his for a few electrifying moments, and typed in my number before pushing send, so I would have his as well. When Edward came back we headed outside to grab cabs. Both men gave me a quick hug and kiss before helping me into a taxi and waving good-bye. I was right, tonight was full of possibilities for myself and, luckily Bella, although she didn't know this yet.

On my way home I thought back over my day. I realized that Edward was a good man and that Bella needed to find a way to work it out with him. By the look on Edward's face after Jasper mentioned Bella, it was completely obvious he was still in as much love with her as she was with him. This time apart hasn't been easy for either one of them, of this I was sure, which is why they both needed to find their way back to the other to start their happy ending together. I knew Edward would be heading back to Arizona the following week to get ready for Spring Training Camp and was hoping to convince Bella to talk with him there. The sooner the better is always my motto, as it never does any good to let a situation fester. Bella of all people should know this. I was going to make the best out of this Jasper thing and it would be a lot easier if we could all hang out together. The first thing I had to do was call and talk to Bella though. She was still in the dark about my whole day with Edward. I knew this might set her off again, but I was banking on the information I received at dinner to save me from her wrath.

The phone rang twice before I heard her answer. I took a deep breath knowing it was now or never. "Hey Bells, it's me. I have news."

* * *

****Edward POV****

The rest of my trip in Chicago was fairly uneventful. I was able to agree on a contract for the penthouse and was supposed to close on it in two weeks. Luckily, I would be able to do it from Arizona. My mother, bless her heart, had decided to go to Chicago and decorate and set the place up for me while I was in Spring Training. _Gotta love being a momma's boy!_ I decided to keep my home in Scottsdale for now, since I would be spending some, if not all, of my offseasons still in Arizona. She would be starting with a clean slate since I would need to buy all new furniture and decorations and shit. Alice had recommended her mother, Esme, to help since she was an interior designer. My mother and Esme had been talking on the phone non-stop for the past week making plans for the best places to shop. I was glad to just hand over my credit card and be done with it. This, apparently, seemed to be a reoccurring theme with my current shopping excursions. Oh well, as long as I didn't have to physically do the shopping, I could care less about the cost.

I had seen Alice a few more times before I left Chicago, since she and Jasper had sort of started dating. She seemed to be a really great girl and a good fit for Jasper. I was happy for him, but I was a little worried that I was now going to be a third wheel in this town where I didn't really know anyone. I was hoping to forge some relationships with some of the guys on the team, just so I had options. Options are always a good thing to have, so I was determined to ensure that I had some. I still, however, had a strange feeling that Chicago was holding a piece of me that was missing. Although I couldn't put my finger on it quite yet, I really felt as if this busy, Midwestern city was going to be a place where I could become whole again, a complete person. Who knows, maybe Alice had a sister or cousin as cool as she seemed to be and could fix us up.

I reported to Spring Training early in February so I could meet with the new manager and coaches and hopefully get to know some of the guys. Most of the veterans didn't show up until later in the month, but as a new player I figured it was best to make a good impression. Coupled with the fact that Arizona had been my home for so many years, it was comforting to go back to a place that I was familiar with.

Most of the guys were pretty welcoming, which was a relief. You never know how you will be accepted when you are replacing a respected veteran player and let's face it, this is a professional sport and there are a lot of egos involved. Luckily, I didn't really have that problem because, to me, it's a game pure and simple. I met first with the manager Lou Piniella and immediately felt right at home. There was no question where he had acquired his nickname of "Sweet Lou" as the man had one of the friendliest, most welcoming demeanors I had ever known. I had a hard time comparing this man with the one I had seen on the field being ejected numerous times but then again, passion of the game will bring that out in a person, so I am a little excited to see what gets this man all fired up.

My second week at camp I met our catcher, Mike Newton. The guy was a classic ass, but he was funny as hell. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to be buddy-buddy with him, but he definitely seemed like he might be a good time to hang out with. One look at this guy and I could instantly tell that he was all talk and very little action. He was definitely one of those guys who was full of shit and really believed the crap he was saying. So, when I combined this with the fact that he was the team's catcher, it was if everything came together. Catchers, from my experience, tend to be the cockiest son's of bitches on any team. I don't know what the fuck it is about them, but they all have some massive ego issues. When relating this to Mike Newton, the global atmosphere didn't seem to fit his gigantic head. _Holy Shit!_ He felt the need to tell me stories about this girl or that girl, who of course all said he was the best fuck they have ever had. While I found this little fact highly doubtful, I couldn't help but laugh at his stories because he _really_ believed the shit he was saying. Classic!

In addition to Mike "I am the best fuck in the world" Newton, I also got to know Tyler Crowley. He was a utility player, meaning he could play almost any position on the field. I quickly came to find out that he was sort of the prankster of the team. Luckily, he tended to focus his energy on Mike, which was rather comical. Both guys had a penchant for loud music and friendly mud-slinging while in the locker room and I could tell Coach loved to give them both a hard time.

Our third week into camp Emmett made his first appearance. I was pleased that he seemed to be more like the man I had met down here for dinner. I won't lie, as much as I tried to ignore it, the way he acted during the press conference had made me a little nervous. He just seemed a little withdrawn and I wasn't sure what had caused such a change. Fuck, I know I sound like a chick, but I didn't like it. It was probably still my slightly over-emotional side that was making me so self-conscious, but I couldn't push back the feeling that there was something bigger there, something I was missing. I still had yet to meet Ms. Black and was told she would not make an appearance until early March. I really just wanted to get this meeting with her the fuck out of the way so I could focus on playing ball. So like a girl to get into your head without really knowing anything about her. Shit! All I know is that I really didn't like the fact that I hadn't met, seen, or even communicated with her. There really is something off with this entire scenario. Oh fuck it! I will just have to put her elusiveness out of my head and focus on the game.

The fourth week of February we finally started playing some preseason games. I was never really a big fan of the preseason, mainly because the days are fucking long as shit. We had practice every morning, where we would field, hit, run sprints and lift weights. Then in the afternoons we usually had games, which were boring typically. They were really more for the players trying to make the roster. Veteran players only played an inning or two here and there and used it more as an opportunity for live batting practice.

This left me with a lot of time during the games to sit and just sort of people watch. _What?_ It's fucking entertaining. This was especially pleasurable because of the crowd that attends. There were typically a lot of older people at the games, because so many spent their retirement in an RV going from field to field. They are like a traveling groupie club or some shit like that. Watching them is a sport within itself. The other half of the crowd tended to be Arizona natives that were there more for something to do. It was mostly from these people that I heard the boos from the crowd when I stepped up to bat. Most were upset that I had turned down such a lucrative deal with the Diamondbacks. I knew it was something I would just have to get used to. Well shit, it appears my "Golden Boy" days were finally behind me. Oh well, Mason. Take one for the team and move the hell on.

It was during these games when I first saw her... the beautiful brunette with the curvy hour-glass shape. I would often find her sitting alone during the games with a note pad in her lap, chewing on her pen. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but God knows I wanted to find out. That note pad on her lap and pen in her mouth were a couple of lucky office supplies for sure. Perhaps she was an artist and came here to sketch or maybe she was a writer and got good story ideas while watching a game. My mind wandered aimlessly, constantly making up scenarios since I had nothing better to do while riding the bench. Unfortunately, I never got a good look at her as she was always so far away. Whenever I did see her, though, my mind would always revert back to my memories of Bella, as she would do these exact same gestures while watching me play and reporting for the school paper. _Shit, I miss her!_

The following week Emmett pulled me aside to inform me that Ms. Black would be in town shortly and had requested to meet with me after the game on Thursday. I was quite relieved to finally get this meeting over with, as I really wanted to meet her and clear the air once and for all. However, when Thursday's game came around I was met in the locker room by Emmett.

"Masen, when you get finished down here, meet me in Coach's office for a minute" he quipped before brusquely shuffling down the hallway.

After showering and changing, I headed down to Lou's office where he and Emmett were waiting. I knocked quietly on the door before being ushered inside. "Everything okay, Coach?" I questioned when I was directed into the room. Lou was seated at his impressive mahogany desk, while Emmett was seated on the arm of the leather couch on the side of the office. Both appeared to have been immersed in conversation before I had arrived.

Taking a deep breath and nodding, Coach was the first to speak. "Sure, sure Masen. I, or I guess I should say we, wanted to talk to you about taking a more active role with the team. You see, the reporters here typically follow Bradley's circus antics and we'd like to try and change that this year," Lou rolled his tired eyes and sighed while rubbing his forearm over his sweat stained forehead. He replaced his hat on his head before continuing, "You did a good job of taking a leadership role in Arizona and we were kinda hoping you'd step up and do that here as well. Unlike what you are use to, we don't have an official captain of the team, but we have a few guys that step up to the plate," he softly chuckled a bit "no pun intended, when necessary. We've been discussing this for the past few weeks and have come to the conclusion that we would like you to be one of those people."

Emmett jumped in before I could respond. "We are really just looking for someone who is comfortable talking to reporters and keeping a calm facade. Derrek Lee and Ryan Dempster have routinely done this sort of thing when necessary, but it would be nice to have a go-to guy on a regular basis. If you know what I mean." Emmett's blue eyes were hopeful throughout his statements and I knew he really wanted me to take this role. It was almost as if, his eyes were begging for some unknown reason. So damn odd!

With this, I agreed that I would be willing to take on this type of role, but that it might take a little time for me to feel comfortable calling meetings with the team, since I was still trying to gain my bearings and didn't really know all the guys that well yet. Both seemed to understand my reasoning and it was decided that I would be the main player to field questions by the media following games.

On his way out of the office, Emmett abruptly turned and added, "By the way Masen, Bella had some things she needed to take care of back in Chicago, so we are going to need to postpone that meeting. We'll get it set up again when she's back in town, alright?" Somewhat disappointed by the turn of events, I nodded slowly and then turned to leave myself. Honestly, was Bella Black even a real person? In my mind, all signs are pointing to the roads of _Hell No_ and _Keep Fucking Dreaming_. Fanfreakingtastic! The wait to meet her continues.

As the weeks in March progressed, our preseason games picked up. Veteran players were playing more frequently and many of the non-roster guys were reassigned down to the minors. I started getting more comfortable with a lot of the players during this time, which was exactly what I needed to reenergize myself. For so long, baseball was something that I played because I was good at it, not because I had the passion I once had. Perhaps it was being in Arizona for so many years or other factors I never knew were present. All I know is that day by day I was beginning to feel more revitalized by the game I once loved. Little by little, I felt as if the change to the Cubs and to Chicago was really what I needed all along. I was letting the game heal me, which was really what I was hoping for.

I continued to see the beautiful brunette in the stands on a fairly regular basis. She always seemed to be immersed in the game or drawn to her notebook, chewing on her damn pen. So fucking adorable! On several occasions, I tried to catch her eye, but she miraculously seemed to look away quickly before any real contact could be made. Not to sound like an ass, but I have never had problems getting a girl to look into my eyes, so this was a little off the norm for me. However, something about this girl really made me want to get to know her. I found myself trying to make bigger plays on the field in an attempt to get her attention and hopefully impress her. I know that is pretty childish, but there was just something that made me want to make eye contact with her or see her smile. The last time I can remember doing such juvenile things was my first home game at Forks High School.

Several meetings had been scheduled and cancelled with Ms. Black in the past few weeks. I was really starting to get pissed off. At this point, whether she liked me or not was a moot point, I wasn't looking to sit around a camp fire and sing fucking Kumbaya or anything, but it would just be nice if we could get along. Emmett continued to tell me there was nothing to worry about, that she would get around to it when she could. I guess I would just have to take his word for it. I really didn't care if I ever met her, but I would like to get some things squared away before the start of the season.

I was assigned the number "3" for my new uniform which, I can't lie, I was pretty excited about. That had been Babe Ruth's number and there was something special and prestigious about wearing the same uniform number. I couldn't believe next week I would be back in Chicago for good. Hopefully, there was a little magic left in The Babe's number for me because I really needed it.

* * *

****Emmett POV****

To tell you the truth, Spring Training had gone way better than expected. I was happy with the twenty-five man team roster we had it narrowed down to. Bella and I had a routine that we used when scouting the players with Hendry. We would each try and sit in different parts of the field in order to get a different angle of the guys and hopefully a better perspective on each player. Hendry took behind the plate, I took the 3rd base line, while Bella took the 1st base line. By doing this, we could individually see how the players worked together as a team and how they responded when different signals were called. It had been working pretty well for us in the last two years, so we decided to stick with it. If it's not broke, don't fix it right?

Bella had been in Arizona for the entire Spring Training, but she stayed mainly inconspicuous. She requested the 1st base line for scouting as it would be the furthest from Masen's view. I rolled my eyes at the request, but complied as I really wasn't in the mood to argue with her about it. My mother always reminded me that I needed to pick and choose my battles, so this was not one that I was wishing to pick. I knew Bella was still trying to figure out how to deal with Masen, but by this point it was starting to piss me off. I told her I wanted all that shit to be dealt with prior to the start of the season. It was best to just get it all out in the open as soon as possible, you know?

At Bella's request, I tried to dismiss my feelings toward the guy and treat him as I had before her confession. I knew it was professionally necessary not to hold a grudge and be as fair as possible with him. I was actually impressed with how he handled himself both on the field and bench during Spring Training. In addition, he even agreed to take a leadership position with the team and would be addressing all media after the games. I, for one, was relieved about this because that meant that it would keep Milton Bradley out of the spotlight. Fantastic! The last thing I needed was that moronic idiot making another bonehead comment to the press. Whenever he opens his mouth, I wish I could press the Mute button on a remote control and shut him up. If only this were possible.

To top it all off, Alice had let us all know that Edward still had feelings for Bella even though he did not know she was one of his bosses. I think Bella was a little taken aback with the whole admission. I can't say that I blame her, especially because she has spent the better part of the last ten years pining away for the guy. The way I see it, if she would just sit down and talk to the guy, they could easily work whatever shit needs to be worked out and get on with their lives together.

_Come on Bella, let's get this show on the road. _

Bella had not been happy, and this is an understatement by epic proportions, when she found out Ali and Edward had been spending time together. Ali tried to convince her there was nothing to be upset about, but it took Bella several weeks to see reason. This is why it was so important to me to get her and Edward together before the season started. I had scheduled several meetings for Bella to talk with him, but right before each one, she came in begging me to reschedule saying she just wasn't ready yet. I know it is hard, but my God, she needs to get her head out of her ass, put on her "big girl" panties, and get it over with already. I was starting to get royally pissed about the whole thing for sure. I hated playing the telephone game, which is another way of saying I disliked being the go-between guy. After getting to know Edward throughout the weeks, I didn't really see that there would be any problems, most likely just some shock on his part. Whether anything came of them from that point, was of little concern to me. I really just wanted Bella to get it out so we could go back to business as normal.

On the final week of Spring Training, Bella had once again cancelled a meeting I had set up. I was absolutely livid and marched myself directly into our office to give her a piece of my mind.

Slamming the door behind myself, I sharply said "What the hell, Bella? Coach tells me you cancelled the meeting with Masen again. You promised you would take care of this. I can't keep running this whole team while you crawl up in a ball and hide in the office." If Bella was going to act like a child about this, then I would talk down to her like one. This behavior had to stop and it had to stop immediately.

Bella groaned and put her head in her tiny hands before muttering, "I know, I know. I just...I don't know what to say to him. I mean, does he just walk in the office and I say 'Surprise! Yep it is me, Bella, your ex-girlfriend from high school, and now I am your boss. By the way, I hope you are okay with that. How have you been the past ten years? Me, I've been a mess, thanks for asking, because I'm still in love with you.' It's not like it's the easiest thing to do Emmett," she whined.

I let out a long sigh and then sat down in the chair across from her. "Bella," I chose my words carefully, as I knew there was only so much she would be able to handle "it doesn't matter if it's easy. You're a professional, you're his boss, and this shit has to be dealt with. The longer you wait, the worse it is going to be. How do you think it will make him feel when he finally sees you and is thrown completely for a loop? He will wonder why you have been hiding from him, which by the way I can see that this thought does cross his mind. Not to mention that every time you cancel, you are probably giving him more ammunition to think poorly of you. Is this really what you want? Do you want to spend your whole life running from him?"

Wrinkling her nose and eyebrows in disgust, Bella huffed once again while shaking her head. "I can't do it. I know I should feel better about things after Ali told me about his feelings, but it just makes it harder. He might want to be friends again or maybe even more, and I just don't know if I can handle that. Am I supposed to just confess everything to him right away about the baby...about why I left? He's going to have questions, Em. Questions that I don't know all of the answers to myself right now. I don't need him distracted at the beginning of the season. I care about him too much to do that to him."

Her whining was starting to annoy and piss me off to no end and I knew I was about to lose it with her at any moment. I really did not want another blow up like the one we had in Chicago, but I had to put my foot down. We shared ownership duties for this team and over the past two months I was beginning to feel like I was the only one participating in those duties. Apparently she didn't get the "there is no I in TEAM" memo.

"Bella, do you want to resign your position from this team?" I asked cautiously, hoping to get a rise out of her. I knew this wouldn't happen, but desperate times call for desperate measure and, sadly, I was a desperate man.

Upon hearing the question, Bella's eyes popped, her mouth dropped open and her face blushed furiously. For several moments she was speechless before she stuttered out "What? Why...why would you ask me that? I love this job. I've always loved this team and this job."

"Then you are going to start acting like it," I said with finality. "Here is what you are going to do. Let me first say, that this is not a request, this is an order. Got it?" Bella nodded her head, still somewhat in shock as I continued. "You will host a team meeting after our home opener next week. That will give you a little more time to prepare yourself. At the end of the meeting, you will ask Masen, who will probably be extremely confused, to your office for a one-on-one conversation. I don't give a shit whether you talk about the baby stuff with him or not, but you will be professional to him. You will make nice and answer any questions he has for you. I will not have this personal shit interfering with his playing. Do you understand?"

Bella once again nodded, but more slowly this time. She seemed to be contemplating what I had told her. "Bella, if you can not do this, then I am going to ask you to step down. You know what the motto of this team has always been. 'It's not personal, it's business.' If you can't put aside your personal feelings and treat him in a business manner, than I can't have you here. This shit will end up affecting the whole team and I for one, have worked too damn hard to watch it all fall apart." Squaring my shoulders, I looked deep in her eyes and said, "So what's it going to be?"

Hating to feel defeated, Bella pursed her lips in a hard line. "Fine," she said with a little bit of a snarky attitude. Apparently, this lit a small fire under her ass. "After the home opener, Edward Masen is mine. I will handle the situation appropriately. You don't need to be there in the room with us, as I know we will need some privacy, but I would like you to at least stay in the offices with me, until I am done with him...Just in case. I am not sure how he is going to react and I might need back-up. Okay?"

I smiled at her in triumph and agreed to her wishes before gathering up all my files. I sent a fax of our final twenty-five man roster into the commissioner before heading out for the night. I was looking forward to heading back to Chicago tomorrow and finally getting this season started.

* * *

**A/N****: Alrighty folks, Spring Training is over! Which means that the reunion between E & B is inevitable now. Poor E, this has been a long time coming for him. :( Wonder how he will handle the surprise?**

**On to our story recommendation for the week: ****_A Chance Encounter _by **_**erinbatt**_**. This is a change of pace with both Bella and Edward being vampires 45 years after E originally left. With E as a hott and sexy pediatric doctor and Bella as stubborn and strong-willed, making E fight his way back for her.**

**If you are not on Twitter, you totally should be. Those crazy gals, crack us up all day long. Look for us under DSDF22 and LZTZ.**

**Don't forget to review and let us know what you think so we can atleast thank you properly for reading this story. Or, if it so inclines you, just tell us what your favorite brand of shoes are or your most favorite vacation spot. We collectively decided on Prada for the first answer just to get you started.**

**Until next time...**


	8. Opening Day

**Author's Note: Well, here we are finally, Opening Day at Wrigley Field. I know you are all looking forward to the B & E reunion scene, so I hope this does not disappoint.**

**Thank you to all the readers who have nominated THC for a Mystic Award. We were blown away and so humbled to have been nominated. We are in the finals for best Lamb Award (Best Human Story). Voting ends on October 12th. Please go and vote for us. The direct link in on our profile pages.**

**Muchas Gracias to our beta shaelove for all her help with this chapter and to our Twilighted betas Totoro and qjmom for all there support.**

**Also on our profile pages I have added pictures of Bella's outfit for this chapter and some other pics from previous chapters. Check them out.**

**Disclaimer #1: In this chapter we have cited some lines that we "borrowed" from the movie Billy Madison. It is just for fun and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Disclaimer #2: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

**Ok, without further delay...**

* * *

**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 8 –Opening Day**

_**Song Selections:**_

**"**_**Scars" by Papa Roach**_

**"**_**I'm too Sexy" by Right Said Fred**_

**"**_**Hotel Room Service" by Pitbull**_

**"**_**Again" by Lenny Kravitz**_

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* * *

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**** Bella's POV ****

"_Good morning Chicago and happy Monday, April 13th! All of us here in the Windy City want to wish the Cubbies good luck during their home season-opener today. By the way, if you are going to Wrigley Field, I suggest you bundle up because it's gonna be a chilly day,_" blared from my alarm clock at 7:30 this morning.

Whoever this morning dee-jay was, he had a little too chipper of an attitude for me at the moment. I groaned loudly, not in the mood to deal with the inevitable yet, and pulled the covers over my head as I pretended that I was still asleep. Let's be honest though, since my plane from Arizona touched down last week, I had been laying in my bed tossing and turning every night, scared shitless about the meeting I would be having today. I don't think I have slept more than a few hours each night the past week. My lack of sleep causing me to barely think straight and adding to my anxiousness. My stomach was in knots, and that damned tightening feeling that I seemed to have in my chest every morning, was once again, feeling like it was starting to seriously constrict my breathing.

_My God, Bella! You are going to be seeing and actually talking to the love of your life today. Would it have killed you to actually get some sleep? Now you are going to have bags under your eyes. Nice work, kid._

After shaking my head and telling my annoying self-conscious to shut the hell up, I quickly threw the covers off me, jumped into my slippers, and padded my way into the kitchen for my morning cup of Chai Tea. I knew that I might as well get this day started if I ever wanted it to end. Always calming me down, I let the warm liquid spread throughout my body as I went to my window to view the city below. For some unknown reason, I do this every morning. Whether it was to find peace or simply get lost in what the other people in the city were doing, I always found this ritual relaxing. Good thing, because today's events were going to be anything but relaxing.

_Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away from here._

Forrest Gump and Jenny totally had it right when they were asking for this. Perhaps if I call upon God or the other higher powers of the universe, they could grant me this teeny tiny wish, too. With my luck, the answer to this request would be big, fat _Hell No_! Oh well... a girl can dream, can't she?

Exhaling loudly, I wrapped my arms around my middle. I knew that I needed to be a big girl and face this day head on, but that was not going to be easy. My head was a colossal mess just thinking about the circus that surrounded the Opening Day events and my first meeting with the team after the game. I couldn't even think about the face-to-face meeting with Edward that was inevitable after that.

One would think that Alice's little treat of information regarding Edward's feelings for me would have made this meeting easier, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth. There was just so much that had happened to and between us during the past ten years, that it was hard for me to believe that he ever thought about me at all. Did I wish, hope, and dream that these words would have been the case during our time apart? Absolutely, but they were simply too difficult to believe. The minute I let myself hope that he would say these words to me, the barricade I had built protecting myself from him would crumble faster than the Berlin Wall. If I was going to get through today, I needed to banish such dreams from my mind. Today needed to be all business and the personal… well that's going to have to wait for another day or two or three or fucking forever.

For me, he had always been in my thoughts. Every time I watched a 3rd baseman make a play, I always saw Edward's face and remembered how he looked on the field in Forks. As much as I hated to admit it, especially because it was totally fucking pathetic and such a girl thing to do, I would even turn on the Diamondback games to watch him play for a few minutes. This is how much I was still hopelessly in love with him. For Edward, however, his playboy ways were rather well known, which was probably why I doubted Alice's discovery so much. If I let myself hope that he still loved me like I loved him, I was in complete danger of falling so far, that I would never find my way back.

There were just too many scars that were still healing. Scars that I have been made painfully aware of by my friends, which he knows nothing about. My mother had been talking me through all of this almost daily for the past two months. I have really been trying to work on forgiving him. I knew that Edward was not to blame for all that had happened in the past, but it had just been easier to blame him, then to admit to my own wrong-doing. Having a scapegoat, made it easier to push away all the painful memories. I was afraid that any type of direct contact with him could be potentially heartbreaking to me, as I knew it would bring all of those memories rushing back to me in a flash.

Although the pain of losing Edward never went away, I always found that if I kept busy on other tasks, he wasn't at the foremost of my thoughts. In college, I took extra classes each semester to make up for my one year sabbatical and actually ended up graduating on time. Once I took over ownership of the team, I threw my heart and soul into the day to day aspects of the business. It was my fear of someday running into Edward that truly kept me focused and always moving.

For the past ten years, my entire life has consisted of a delicate balance between half and full truths. Somewhere along the line, it simply became easier to live the semi-lie I had built around myself and my heart. I could totally understand why pathological liars were eventually able to believe their own skewed versions of the world, because my life, pathetically, had reached that point. If I never talked about Edward or the past, it was as if it didn't exist, thus allowing me to live the façade I had carefully and successfully masterminded. Up until two months ago, it seemed as if my alternate universe had been moving along rather nicely, but I guess the saying "all good things must come to an end" was tailor made for my current predicament. Not only was I forced to admit the past I had with Edward, but I was hit with the double-whammy of Emmett signing him to our team. _Dumb fucking luck!_

To make matters worse, I really had been acting like a baby for the past few months, especially when it came to pulling my weight with the team. Although I hated to admit it, Emmett was completely justified for laying into my sorry ass while we were in Arizona. Honestly, I _am_ rather embarrassed at my behavior when it comes to, what I like to call, the "Edward Situation."

I have always prided myself on being totally professional in every business situation no matter who I was dealing with. Trust me, I have dealt with so many assholes throughout the past two years, it is unbelievable. Never once though, have I literally curled up into a ball and hid from them like a child waiting for a punishment. I needed Emmett to suggest that I resign from the team because he knew that giving me an ultimatum was the only way to snap me out of my stubborn nature. My asshat of a cousin knew how much I loathed being backed into a corner, but he also knew that he needed to pull out the big guns for me to get my head back into the game, so to speak. While I would never admit to him that this tough love technique was needed, it really was the action required to snap me back into reality.

With my head still spinning out of control, the reality of today came into crystal-clear focus. _Today was the day_. The day I'd been dreading, fearing, analyzing, dreaming about, and running away from for the past ten years. Today, I would have the privilege of once again staring into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. Today, I would come face to face with Edward Masen.

Making up my mind, I headed to my closet. I had to look good today, despite my complete and utter fatigue. There was no way I could let Edward see me with bags under my eyes, looking like I hadn't slept in days. I couldn't have him knowing what he did to me. I was going all out today- La Perla power panties, silk and lace bra, nude-colored thigh highs, my silk royal blue long-sleeved blouse and my white pencil skirt with the cute ruffle at the bottom. I smiled when I realized what the perfect shoe for this outfit would be. I dug through all the boxes in my closet until I found my Louis Vuitton black suede baby goat leather peep-toe pumps. Thank the lord, I was no longer the clumsy girl I was back in high school, as I would have nearly killed myself in these almost four inch stilettos. Edward had always loved me in royal blue, since he said it complimented my skin tone. Anything that I could do to make his jaw drop, I was all over. The blouse and the shoes were a definite win. It didn't hurt that blue and white were the team colors, so no one else would be the wiser.

I took a long, steaming hot shower to ease the tension in my muscles and made sure I took my time shaving. The last thing I needed was to have a nick on my leg with my perfect opening day outfit. I slipped on my lingerie and thigh-highs before drying my hair and then took the time to put it in hot rollers so I would have some volume and loose curls. Then I pinned back just my bangs and let the rest of my hair flow loosely down my back. Make-up was never really my thing, but Alice had taught me how to do a mad smoky eye a few years back, so I went with that, a little peach blush, mascara, and lip gloss. I accessorized with a pair of gold twist knot earrings and my favorite Tiffany's gold rope ring.

Once my clothes and shows were on, I checked myself in the full-length mirror on my bedroom door, smoothing out a small wrinkle I noticed in my skirt ruffle. Turning from side to side slowly, so I could see myself from all angles, I sucked in my stomach, while pushing my breasts and ass out. I bit my bottom lip and smirked when I realized that I looked pretty fucking hot. Score one for me!

_I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!_

Damn, Right Said Fred knew his shit! If this outfit didn't turn Edward's head it certainly would turn Mike Newton's. Then again, I could wear a velour track suit and turn Mike's head. He was such a perv, like a creepy look in the hole of the girl's locker room wall pervy. He was damn lucky I had known him so long and knew that he was basically harmless, if not annoying. To me, Mike Newton was that little boy who thought he was God's gift to everything, but was in reality just simply average. Anything you asked him, he would say he had done it, seen it, and was the absolute best at it. Poor little guy, as I really thought it would break his heart if he actually recognized that there was nothing extraordinary about him at all.

_Ugh!_ Why the hell am I thinking about Mike? I shook the thoughts out of my head and gave myself one more look over. Yep, I was pretty sure I could render the whole team speechless with this outfit. _Nice._

_Definitely taking the Ferrari today,_ I thought to myself as I picked up my keys and locked the door.

On my way down to the garage my phone rang. I peeked quickly at the caller-id and saw that it was Emmett. "You ready for this today?" he said when I answered.

"Why, hello to you, too dear cousin. How are you this morning? I'm fine, thanks for asking," I quipped.

Emmett grunted before mumbling, "Sorry. Good Morning, Bella. How are you?" Then sarcastically added, "Happy, now? Ok, so please tell me you are ready for this today? And God, for the life of me, please say 'yes.' Because I think I will go crazy, if you answer 'no.'"

I took a deep breath and counted to ten before answering, knowing it would cause him to sweat it out just a little longer. God, I can be such a bitch sometimes. "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose. I'll see you in a few minutes at the field," I finally remitted before hanging up the phone.

I parked at the stadium and shivered when I got out of the car, hurrying into the building to get out of the cold. I hope this damn weather doesn't keep the fans away. It is frigid outside. April is much too late in the year to be having temperatures in the mid-thirties. Damn that fucking groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, and his shadow, extending our winters well into spring. Someone needs to slap the shit out of that little guy. So annoying!

When I reached the warmth of my office I immediately fell into my leather swivel chair. I knew I needed to keep myself as busy as possible or all the anxiety of the morning would come rushing back to me. I called my secretary, Tanya on the phone and asked her to get a Venti hot caramel apple cider from Starbucks on her way in for me and then set off to find Emmett.

Emmett was in his office going over some paperwork when I found him. He raised his eyebrows and smiled when I came in, silently questioning my wardrobe choices for the day. _Really Emmett? You want to go around questioning my clothing?_ I shrugged and waved him off. He knew better than to question that shit, when I was already so anxious. Emmett chuckled, but relented and started in on some business matters needing to be addressed before the game. We spent nearly two hours going over all pressing matters, before Rose popped in.

She let out a low whistle and a cat call when she walked in the door. "Hot damn, Bella! That's my girl, pulling out all the stops. You show him what he's been missing all these years." Rose smiled approvingly while giving me the once over.

Unlike my bonehead cousin, his much better half totally understood why I was wearing my chosen ensemble. This is a prime example as to why Rose and I are best friends. I love this girl!

"Yeah? You think its okay? It's not too much?" I said peeking over my shoulder after giving her a small twirl and a little shake of my behind. Hell, I knew it was perfect, but it never hurt to ask for a second opinion ya know?

She smirked, "Come on B, weren't you going for 'too much?' Don't worry, you got it right. You do have on the power panty set though, right?" she anxiously questioned, hoping she hadn't spoken too soon.

I smiled knowingly, giving her a little nod and she visibly relaxed. "Good. Now why don't you run along and go peep in on your man in the locker room, while I give _my_ man a little once over here before the big game. Its tradition, you know?" She remarked with a devilish smile.

"Ay Dios mio, you two are sick. You know that? It's the office for Christ's sake. Who knows who could walk in here and see or hear you two. What are you guys into voyeurism now?" I huffed as I walked towards the door.

"Don't you dare, 'Oh, my God' me, Bella Black. We'll see how naughty you think it is when you and your man make up. I'll probably have to listen to you shouting that shit out from your office as he takes you over the desk," Emmett playfully joked.

Scrunching my face in disgust and shaking my head, I continued towards the door. "Ew. Really Em, that's just wrong. You're my cousin. I don't even want to think of you having visuals of my sex life. Ew, seriously," I added while closing the office door tightly behind me. I knew I should have ear muffed by ears with my hands, but it was too late now. The mental image had already been made and the damage had already been done. Mark my words, one day that little bastard will pay. Payback, dear cousin, is a bitch!

I headed down to our media room and answered a few questions for the reporters, hoping to get it done and out of the way as quickly as possible. I hated dealing with the media. Even as a child, I was painfully shy when I became the center of attention. Even going so far as hiding under the table when my family would sing Happy Birthday to me. Emmett had been kind enough to step in as the "face" of the team, since he knew of my aversion to it. However, as part of our deal with the "Edward Situation," I promised to handle all media and team meetings today. _Damn, Emmett_. He was upstairs getting sexed up while I was down here doing the grunt work. Just another reminder, why I should have dealt with Edward earlier. Oh well, what's done is done. I must remember to kick my own ass later.

When the reporters were finished with their questions, thank the lord they were only the standard Opening Day variety, I headed back up to our owner's box and took in the fielding and batting practice. I saw Edward out on the field, joking with Ryan Theriot our shortstop, while taking ground balls. His smile and twinkling eyes literally lighted up the cloudy and dreary Chicago sky. I couldn't help but think back to the first time I ever met him, on a much smaller baseball field in Forks, Washington.

I swallowed roughly as the memories played out in my mind. He was just as beautiful now, as he had been then. His body changing slightly as he had added roughly thirty pounds of muscle to his frame since high school. How I would control my hands when I saw him up close I had no idea. My aching fingers wanted to run through his unmanageable hair and reach out to caress his chest now and he was probably two hundred feet away. I wanted to get lost in his beautiful green eyes and look into his soul, the way we use to. And his body? _Holy shit,_ the things I wanted to do with his body.

_Get a grip, Bella. Do not lose your cool,_ I chided to myself while slightly shaking my Edward hazed head and taking in a deep breath of the frigid air. It wasn't a cold shower, but I guess it would have to do for the time being.

I took some time to think about what I was going to say to him during our meeting, while the grounds crew did some last minute work on the field. I had to keep reminding myself that I was his boss now and not some naïve seventeen year-old girl, who had her heart broken. Who was I kidding? I still have a broken heart, as it seemed time had not been in a hurry to mend it.

_I can do this, I can do this_, I chanted silently to myself as the National Anthem was sung.

Edward gave a little wave to the crowd at the announcement of his name in the starting lineup. My heart melted and skipped a few beats as my resilience wavered slightly. I shuddered when I felt the unexpected whisper of breath behind my ear. "Don't worry, Bells. He's still all yours. It's going to be fine. I promise," said Alice seeming to appear out of nowhere.

I turned to look at her and she smiled reassuringly. It was enough to calm my nerves and allow me to get my head back on straight, for now. Whether or not Edward would ever be mine again was a moot point at this moment, but hearing her say everything was going to be fine, gave me an immediate sense of relief. "Thanks, Ali. I needed that right now," I said when embracing her in a hug. A few moments later, we were joined in the box by Emmett, Rosalie and my Aunt Esme.

The game was delayed over an hour thanks to the rain. Apparently the weather had it in for me because it was only adding to the continuous knot tightening in my stomach. When it finally did begin there was a biting ten mile per hour wind off the lake and a significant amount of fog that had to be played through. The game moved along fairly quickly, thank goodness. Our pitcher, Ted Lilly, retired the first seven batters and was relieved in the seventh inning after letting up only one hit in the game. I was more than impressed with his tenacity out on the field. Edward was our leadoff batter, since he was the fastest runner on our team and had a dependable record of getting on base. He did well for his first game in the Windy City, going two for four. When the game finally ended, I was happy to proclaim us the victors over the Colorado Rockies four to zero.

We all headed back to my warm office after the game as we had some time to kill before my meeting. Coach, and apparently Edward and Lilly, would be taking questions from the press during the after-game news conference. I also wanted to give Lou a little time to meet with the team privately for a few minutes before I came down.

The longer I sat in my office however, the more I could feel the tension in my shoulders building. Emmett saw me rolling my neck and shoulders and came over to give me a massage. He whispered encouraging words to me as the tension I felt begin to recede again. I thanked him profusely before standing up and straightening out my skirt and shirt. I did a quick check on my makeup and added a light coat of lip-gloss before heading for the door. My Aunt Esme gave me an encouraging hug and everyone wished me luck as I climbed into the elevator. The doors closed, leaving me utterly alone with my fears. I took several slow deep breaths through my nose and then exhaled through my mouth, trying to ease my nerves and calm my ragged breathing and racing heart.

When I stepped out on the ground floor and made my way towards the locker room, I silently began reciting what I could remember from Psalm 23 of the Bible and the Serenity Prayer. Both with words appropriate for this type of occasion. I was never very religious, so I probably got most of it wrong, but I figured God was a forgiving being and he would understand what I was asking of him.

_As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen_

Now if only Edward could be as reasonable as God, I might be lucky enough to make out of this day alive. I closed my eyes and took one last deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the locker room.

It was now or never, so I guess the only time is now.

* * *

****Edward's POV****

"Alright guys, quiet down for a minute. I have a few things I want to say to you all," Coach Piniella yelled out over the noise of the locker room. The guys quieted down fairly quickly once the loud music Newton had on was turned off. When he had all of our attention he continued, "First of all, great win. That weather was shit, but you pulled it out. If we can win together in weather like that, I think we have a hell of a season to look forward to. Lilly, unbelievable fucking job today. I'm actually speechless. Seriously. I hope all of you learn something today from that kind of tenacity." Coach paused, looking around at all the guys. "Alright, we'll talk more tomorrow. We've got a day off, so I want you all at the batting cages at noon. Now, if you're not dressed yet, I suggest you do, because Ms. Black will be here in a minute for your first official team meeting. That's all," he announced before heading back towards his office.

So it appears I will finally be meeting the elusive Bella Black today. This should be interesting. With my luck, she will probably cancel out again. Could she be that big of a bitch to cancel out on the entire team? Her past track record with meetings was utterly shitty with me, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt one last time.

Newton turned his iPod back up after Coach's talk and the room was once again shrouded in the sounds of Pitbull. He was dancing around like an asshole in his much too small white towel. "Aren't you gonna get dressed, Mike? Didn't you hear Coach say boss lady was on her way down?" I asked trying to stifle my laughter at his ridiculous attempts at dancing. His uncoordinated white-boy dancing ass really needed to be put onto YouTube. _Stupid fucker!_

Newton laughed. "Sure I heard him. But Bella baby is one _HOT_ piece of ass, if you know what I'm talking about. Damn, those perky tits and that tight little ass; you could eat off that shit. Am I right, Crowley? I'm just trying to show her what she's missing out on," he said waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Tyler of course whole-heartedly agreed to his description.

I threw up a little in my mouth upon his comment. I've never met this woman, but I was pretty sure that she had to have better taste in men than this damn idiot standing in front of me. "Are you trying to tell me, that you think you have some kind of chance with the boss? That she would even give your punk-ass a second look?" I challenged. I had never seen her, but if Tyler was backing dumb-ass Newton up, there must be some truth to the comments.

Mike cocked his right eyebrow. "What makes you think I haven't already had her Masen? Bella and I have known each other for a long time. Don't think I didn't chase her tail back in college, too. I'll admit she was fine back then, but damn has she grown into that curvy, delicious body. Those curves are scandalous. Women looking like her should be illegal, really. She's fucking mouthwatering," he said in a wistful voice. This bastard was not only delusional, but was drooling, actually drooling. What a douche bag!

"I'm gonna call your bluff, Newton. There is no way I think you have slept with our boss. While I'll grant that I have never met her, what I do know of her, she comes off as a cold-hearted bitch. I just don't see her giving it up to the likes of you," I replied condescendingly, shaking my head.

"Fuck you, Masen. What do you think you're the only one on this team capable of getting some ass? The ladies love this baby-faced mug of mine; Bella included. Give that girl a couple of drinks and she is putty in my capable hands," he cockily smirked.

Oh, now that little fucker needed to go down! If he wanted a pissing match that is what he would have. I could bury his ass with women quicker than anyone. He is an amateur when it comes to me. I have no problem admitting that I have fucked more women than I can think of or even remember, as I don't even remember or know most of their names. Don't hate the player, hate the game. He, on the other hand, can probably count on one hand the amount of women who have slept with his loser ass. Pathetic!

"Don't be jealous of all this, Newton," I said motioning down the length of my body. "It's so pathetic. And it is certainly not my fault you weren't dealt with the whole package. The ladies know what they like, and they like this. Get over it," I chortled.

Mike's facial expression changed as anger flashed across his face. "You know Masen, you haven't been here long enough to start shit with any of us yet, you better watch..." he trailed off at the end craning his head to see around me.

Just then, I felt the air in the room shift as the door to the locker room swung shut. I turned to see a petite, long-haired brunette with her back to me talking to the Coach from his doorway. I couldn't help, but to stare. Newton caught my attention and sneered knowingly. I had to give Mike some credit, the girl had an unbelievable ass, one you could bounce a quarter off of, that was only accentuated by the tight skirt she was wearing. Her calves were beautiful and well-defined in her "fuck-me" high-heeled shoes. And holy mother of god, did I immediately want to fuck her, while she was still wearing only those damn shoes. My heart beat sped up just slightly, when I thought about seeing her from the front.

Just as the incredible creature began to turn towards me, Newton approached her and began trying to grind against her in his towel. With the Hotel Room Service song blaring from the speakers in the background, Mike starting singing along "But I like your type, and like T.I., It's whatever you like."

I could see the woman was only slightly uncomfortable, as if she had dealt with this type of behavior from him in the past. She playfully tried to push him away, but Newton was undeterred as he continued, "Let me tell you what we gon' do. Two plus two, I'm gonna undress you. Then we're gonna go three and three you gon' undress me. Then we're gon' go four and four, we gon' freak some more, but first..."

_What a fucking idiot!_ Watching his stupid ass was similar to watching a train wreck...you couldn't take your eyes off it. With this, I continued to focus in on this little display of idiocy, hoping to see if Ms. Black would embarrass the fuck out of him.

Mike began grinding on her harder, holding her hips and pulling her near him. "Forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel room, you can bring your girlfriends and meet me at the hotel room. Forget about your boyfriend..."

Ms. Black did not seem to be at all like I had pegged her. She was willingly going along with his antics and surprised the hell out of me when she threw her head back and laughed. She pushed him away after a second with her left hand, and grabbed for his towel with her right, ripping it right off his waist. Newton seemed to feign surprise, as she whipped the towel back at him snapping him soundly right on his bare ass. "What did I tell you about the towels, Mike? Have you no shame? Now get your stupid ass dressed, because if I have to see any more of you, I will be sending you a bill for therapy," she bantered.

Coach came out of the office just then and barked, "That's enough Newton. Turn off that damn music and go get your ass covered up. No one here wants to see that shit. Everyone else, take a knee or sit your happy-asses down somewhere. Enough of the tom-foolery."

I sat down on the bench in front of my locker, realizing that Ms. Black had still not turned around to face us. She said a few quiet words to Coach that I couldn't make out, while waiting for Newton to throw on some jeans. She was really quite beautiful, at least the parts of her I could see. Something about her absolutely mesmerized me, and I could not seem to stop staring. A million thoughts were running through my head, as I tried to determine why this stunning woman, would fight so vigilantly against her cousin to add me to this team. I know that I have slept with more women than I can remember, but someone as beautiful as her would be unforgettable. I was completely dumb-founded as to why she had such strong negative feelings towards me, as I am confident I have never slept with her or even met her. _What the hell?_ Something about this whole situation wasn't making a damn bit of sense.

Mike threw his leg over the bench and took a seat next to me, much to my chagrin. "You still wanna question my relationship with one Bella Swan-Black, Masen?" he challenged.

My mouth fell open as I slowly turned towards him, eyes bulging. "Ha...what did you call her?" I asked barely audible to even my own ears.

Before his loud-ass mouth could answer, I suddenly heard a throat clear. I sat frozen in place, unable to turn towards the sound. My heart began racing, as I waited to hear her angelic voice once again. Would she never speak? The suspense was killing me. I could have sworn Newton had called her Bella Swan. Could it possibly be my Bella Swan? The girl whose face haunted my every dream and nightmare. The one and only girl I have been missing for the past ten years. The one who knew the real me, down to the core. I must be dreaming because there is no fucking way I just heard that moron call her Bella Swan. I have really lost my mind now.

I felt my chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. And then, I finally heard her speak. Clearly. This time, without the drone of loud music masking it. It was at that moment that the sound simultaneously caused my heart to skip and my breath to catch as I gasped out loud. I turned ever so slowly and made contact with the brown eyes I would know god-damned anywhere. Eyes that were never-ending pools of chocolate. Eyes that knew me better than I knew myself. Eyes that were pure Bella, my Bella.

Apparently, my dumb ass eyes were in a trance because Bella quickly looked away, breaking it before I realized I was even in one. _Smooth, Masen. Real fucking smooth! You haven't seen this girl in ten years and all you can do is stare at her like some damn mental patient?_ She continued addressing the team, but to be completely honest, I couldn't seem to make out any of her words. My brain was alive and buzzing. _I found her_. I found my Bella.

I smiled in the revelry of our memories. Only the good ones were popping up into my mind. The day we met, our first kiss, afternoons spent talking in our meadow, our lovemaking, hearing her laugh...God, there were just so many. How I've longed for this day, the day I would finally see her again. There were so many things I wanted to say to her that I didn't even know where to begin.

_Here's a start, Edward. Why don't you try an 'I'm sorry I fucked Lauren that night so many years ago.' You know she meant nothing to me. I don't even know what I was thinking, Bella'._

Yeah fucking right! Like she was going to buy that line of shit. Of course I hated that skank Lauren with every fiber of my body. She was a whore plain and simple, but like the stupid drunk-ass that I was, I fell for her game. After ten years, I am confident that Bella wasn't going to listen to that sorry excuse at all. Given the size of the heel on her shoes, I wouldn't be surprised if that pathetic line caused her to shove her foot up my ass.

Knowing that would completely be the wrong opening line after ten long years apart, my mind again ran wild trying to figure out what to say to her first, when it suddenly occurred to me. Bella, _my Bella_, had not wanted me to come here. She was the same person who had avoided me like the fucking plague for the past two months. The same person who caused me to have some sort of damn complex about myself. What the fuck, Bella? I always knew she was as non-confrontational as the Dali Lama, but her behavior towards me was... unbelievable. There were no words. Part of me was livid that she was avoiding me, but the other part was saddened that it had come to this. Shit!

I knew that I had hurt her, fuck did I know this, and I was haunted by it every damn day of my life, but once upon a time we had something so special. We had always said forever; she was mine and I was hers. How could she not even want to talk about all of that stuff? It had been ten years; she was obviously married now or was at one point, so she must have had some closure, right? Or did she? Knowing Bella the way I did, she was always one of the most stubborn people I had ever met, so closure on our past is something that may not have happened for her either. Hence, the silent treatment for the past few months. Does this make her over-the-top, immature behavior correct? Hell no, but it was allowing the picture to come into focus.

_Whatever, Masen. Don't make excuses for her. It still doesn't account for the fact that she has acted like a bitch towards you for the past few months._

Ugh! As if that wasn't bad enough, she is or had been married. Hell! I hadn't even considered that point. Judging from how Newton talked about her and the fact that I saw no rings on her fingers, I had to consider that she was probably separated or divorced. I would have to thank my lucky stars for the man who was an idiot enough not to have appreciated her. This guy must have been a real winner, that's for sure. Yeah, right! How the hell could he ever let her go was beyond me, but then again, so had I, so I guess I could understand after all.

It upset me knowing that she had been intimate with another man. I had not been Bella's first kiss, but we were each other's firsts and I had always wanted to be her last. Of course, I'm not hypocritical, as I have had more than my fair share of partners over the years. This was putting it nicely, as the term partner would lead to the assumption that I cared about any of these women. That was never the case.

_Shit! I wonder if Bella knows about this. Keep digging your hole deeper Masen. You'll be in China before you know it. _

I just didn't like thinking someone like Newton had gotten her into bed. God, I hoped more than life itself that he was full of shit, but just thinking back to how they had interacted a few minutes ago, I was more than a little worried.

_Could you be any more of a pussy, Masen? This isn't a fucking chick-flick where we all sit around in a circle and talk about our feelings. Get the hell over it you pansy-ass!_

Shit, for all I knew she could be a mom by now. Bella would be a terrific mother. She had always been so caring and doting to me and all of her friends. I had always dreamed of having a family with her one day. Trust me, I know how girly this sounds, but it was the truth. Shoot me! But knowing that she could have already lived out this dream with someone else was almost too much to take.

I stared unabashedly at her and as pathetic as it was, I couldn't help myself. My heart was literally floating. She was so beautiful, more beautiful than I remembered. The years had certainly been kind to her. Bella's breasts were now much fuller than they had been in high school. Her slim, lithe torso was now curvy and voluptuous. Her legs were toned like a runner's, which is something that almost made me laugh out loud as I remembered her practically tripping over her own feet in gym class. She had changed so much, but yet much remained the same.

Her hair was still wavy and long, although much longer than it had used to be and I wondered if it still smelled like strawberries. Yes, I remember that small detail about her. I remember every detail about her. Again, I know I am pathetic. How I longed to be close enough to her to smell her hair.

Her lips were still full and slightly asymmetrical. Almost on command, she bit her lower lip as her gaze swept over me quickly. That damn lip biting certainly hadn't changed, nor obviously had my reaction to it, as I felt my dick twitch. _Down boy! _The lovely warm blush that spread from her cheeks down her to her torso, still appeared when she was embarrassed and it still made me flush with happiness.

Last but certainly not least, her eyes. Willy Wonka himself wished he could sell chocolate the color of her eyes. My hand to God, her eyes were still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even though she may not know it, they held a vast sea of information. There was a time when I could look into them and know exactly what she was thinking or feeling. When she was too pig-headed to tell me something, I could gaze deep into her eyes and almost read her mind. It truly was amazing. They were big and sparkled like a clear chocolate diamond. She was a rarity and a true beauty in every sense of the word._ My god, how I have missed her!_

Still in my Bella induced coma, I began hearing the familiar voices of my teammates and the shuffling of feet and bags. Shaking my head quickly, I eventually came to the here and now, only to realize that Bella's team meeting had ended and she was greeting each of us individually. As sad as it was, I had abso-fucking-lutely no idea what she had said for the past ten minutes. For all I knew, she had been speaking in some long-lost language and I had just sat there, looking like an idiot. I was truly off my game, as she was the absolute last person I ever thought I would see today, let alone own the major league baseball team that I was now playing for. The Bella I remember hated gym class and had no interest in anything to do with sports. Clearly, things have changed during the past ten years.

And just when I felt as if this was the moment, the moment I had been waiting the past ten years to happen, fucking annoying Mike Newton decided to strike up another conversation with me. Seriously, this guy is as annoying as a mosquito flying around your head. How I wish I could squash him like I would any other irritating bug, but sadly this was not an option.

"That Bella Black, like I told you before, is one fine piece of ass. I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean," he said with a shit-eating grin on his face.

With this last comment, I felt my temper start to rise, as he was talking about my Bella in such a derogatory way. Who the fuck does his little boy think he is? Knowing that I needed to calm myself down before she got over to me, I took a few deep breaths and turned to face the mosquito himself.

In as calm of a tone as I could muster, I replied "Dude, no you don't."

I don't think this was the reaction he was expecting, because I began to see his grin fade and the wheels in his one-tracked mind start spinning out of control. Serves you right, you little motherfucker!

Seemingly caught off guard by me calling his bluff, he quickly changed his tone and stuttered "Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on."

Seriously? Is this tenacious little asshole going to keep saying that he slept with Bella or knows someone who slept with her? I may have not seen or spoken to her in ten years, but I have all the confidence in the world that she didn't give guys like little Mikey the time of day.

"No, they didn't," was all I could reply while shaking my head and quietly chuckling. When was this guy ever going to get the message that I didn't buy his line of shit for a second? I am guessing never, given his clear slowness to my calling his ass out again. _Douche_.

Seeing that she was making her way through the locker room chatting with each player personally, Mike gave it a last ditch effort before he knew his time was up. In a rather quick slur of words, seeing as Bella was just a foot away from us, he stated "No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right...?"

I snorted, as I had absolutely no response to that, because I didn't have to imagine it. I knew exactly what it was like to consume every inch of her magnificent body. To be buried so deep inside her, that it was impossible to determine where I began and she ended. I knew what it was like to hear her moan in pleasure as I kissed her favorite spot behind her ear. I could still hear her scream my name as she reached the climax of the orgasms that I gave her. The way she knew how I liked to be touched, and how her fingers brushing through my hair would send me into a tailspin every single time they found my head. So guess what Mike, you little motherfucker, I know _exactly_ what it's like to make love to this woman. Not only have I lived it, but it has also been a reoccurring nightly dream of mine for the past ten years.

Just as I was about to turn my head to Mike and give him some smart-ass comment about his hand and its magic, my thoughts were stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of Bella standing directly in front of us. Knowing this was not the time to say something stupid, I quickly shut my mouth and waited for her retort to our little exchange. Shit, we were so dead!

Bella sauntered up to Mike and stopped mere inches from him, plastering a breathtaking smile on her face. She placed her small hands on both sides of his face and quietly said "Mike, Mike, Mikey... What have I told you about telling this little story to everyone you see?"

As he began turning ten shades of red, she leaned in closer and I could tell she was going in for the kill. Trust me, even after ten years I remember how powerless her little "lean in closer" move could leave you. She was _so_ about to nail his balls to the wall. Classic!

Keeping her hands on his face and leaving very little space between their faces, she quietly continued. "Don't remember, Honey? Well let me remind you once again. Only in your wet dreams lover boy. Only in your wet dreams."

After her words left her lips, I couldn't help but smile and quietly laugh. Clearly she had matured and gained some confidence throughout the years. I actually pitied Mike Newton right now, because she castrated him without him even knowing it. Poor kid. Shit, I could see she was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Stepping back from him, she lightly patted his cheeks and rolled her eyes. Obviously, this type of behavior wasn't uncommon for Mike, which is what made it even more ridiculous. This guy must be glutton for punishment because it didn't look like he was able to take a hint. And without even giving the poor bastard a chance to reply, she left him speechless and then began turning her attention towards me.

This was it! This was the moment I had been waiting the past ten years for. The chance to see my Bella again. To talk to her, hold her, love her, and adore her. Second chances were rare, so I knew there was no way in hell I could afford to fuck up the moment. Because of this, it was time to pull out the big guns. As she slowly turned her attention towards me, I quickly placed my best crooked smile on my face and stared directly into her beautiful brown eyes. Hoping against all hope, that I hadn't lost all of my ability to dazzle her (her word not mine).

When our eyes finally met, I tried to stare deep into her soul. Instead, what I saw was a myriad of emotions flashing through her chocolate orbs. Most flew by so fast, I couldn't put a name on them, but apprehension, fear, anger, sadness and defeat were evident. The last emotion was the hardest for me to endure.

My smile faded quickly. "Bella." Her name spilled out of my mouth in a whispered prayer as my chest began silently heaving. My heart was breaking right here in front of all these people.

Her eyes stilled and almost darkened as she inhaled deeply and briefly began chewing on the inside of her cheek. Lifting her chin and setting her face in a small forced smile, she thrust out her right hand to me in a shaking gesture. "Edward Masen? I'm Isabella Black. Welcome to the Chicago Cubs organization. We all hope you will be happy here and do good things for our team."

I stood there, unable to move, unable to speak or react in any way. This was not happening. I continued to stare into her cold eyes and meekly nodded, while swallowing down the lump in my throat.

When she realized I was not going to give any type of verbal reply or shake her hand, she dropped it back to her side. Bella took two breaths, before nodding herself. She closed her eyes briefly for just a second and then spoke once more. "I've been told you requested a meeting with me. I'm sorry about all the rescheduling, but I am a very busy woman. Be in my office in twenty minutes if you would still like to talk. Again, welcome to the team," she said as she turned her back on me and walked towards the exit.

Indifference. The only emotion I had not wanted to see. I could deal with anger or sadness, as they were to be expected. I could even deal with hate, as it meant there was at least some type of passionate feeling left there. But not indifference. Indifference indicated no emotions, no feelings. This would not be easy to overcome. She had made up her mind about me a long time ago. I was too late.

I reached quickly into my pocket, grabbing my cell phone and pressed the number 2 before I even registered what I was doing. She answered on the first ring.

"Edward, darling, well done. You played a great game today," she said with such reverence. When I didn't respond, she anxiously asked if I was still there. My quick intake of air must have alerted her that I was still on the line. "What's wrong, baby? Tell me," she begged.

"She's here, Mom. She's here and she's my boss." I knew my mother would know exactly who the 'she' in question was, so I felt no need to elaborate. I rushed to continue my thoughts "It's bad. It's really bad and I don't know what to do. I need help and I've only got fifteen minutes."

I quickly gave my mother the short version of my interaction with Bella. She sighed into the phone, gathering her thoughts before speaking. "You knew this might not be easy if you found her Edward. I don't think she is truly indifferent though. If she was, she wouldn't have cared if you were on this team. I think she is hiding to try and protect her emotions, Edward. You need to tread lightly here, but if you can find that one thing, that one key piece of history, you might be able to unlock her emotions. Just be careful. I am afraid for both of you here; you've both been through too much, if it goes wrong, I'm not sure either of you will recover fully."

I thanked my mother for her advice and headed up to Bella's office. I didn't know how to fix this, but my mind was made up. I had wanted this too bad for so many years, and I was not just going to give up. I shouldn't have given up before; I should have fought for her. I should have told her that she was my forever and showed her just what that meant, but I didn't. I was sick of the "I should'ves," vowing now to be a man of action. Instead of sitting on the side and letting my Bella slip away again, I would fight for her. I would break down that wall. I would get my Bella back.

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**A/N****: Hmmm...so what did you think? Did the reunion live up to your expectations? Next chapter will be the one-on-one conversation, this one was just getting too damn long. I am also dying to know what you thought of Mike. We had such a blast writing him.**

**Please remember to review and let us know what you thought. It helps us improve our writing and also allows us to thank you properly for reading.**

**Story Recommendations****:**

**D Pattinson: **_**Emancipation Proclamation**__** by **__**Kharizzmatik**_**. This is probably the very best story out there. Seriously. I can honestly not get enough of it and thank my lucky stars that she updates twice a week. The story is about modern day slavery and the Mafia. Read it, I promise you will not regret it.**

**LZTZ: **_**Make Me Believe**__** by**__**bellasunderstudy1**_**. I can't say how much I love this story, but I will give it a try. Basically, Edward left Bella 9 years ago to become a vet, which left her devastated. Obviously fate has brought them together, which is where the story gets interesting. What I like is that she isn't the typical meek Bella, but rather is feisty and driven. She calls Edward out on his mistakes and makes him work to earn her trust. She is strong, which is always nice to see in her character.**

**Again, a reminder to go and vote for us on The Mystic Awards site. Thanks to everyone in advance.**


	9. Meetings, Mojitos, and Memories

**Author's Note****: Hello New Readers! ::waves:: Thanks to all of you who have favorited and alerted this story. We are so happy to have you with us for this journey. Please remember to review so we can meet and get to know one another.**

**Sorry about the delay in updating this chapter. It proved quite difficult for us. We both were lucky enough to have several vacations in this time period (Yay!) and unfortunately, RL was a little crazy. Most importantly, we knew how important this chapter was to all of you and to the story, and we wrote and rewrote until we think we got it perfect. PLEASE let us know what you thought.**

**Thanks to everyone who has rec'd this story. We so appreciate all you support. A special thanks to ssherrill115 who did an amazing write up on us on her blog The Souther Fan Fiction Review. If you haven't checked out her blog, you need to go. She has fantastic recommendations and reads more stories than anyone I know. Seriously! www(dot)southernfanfictionreview(dot)com**

**To our wonderful Beta, shaelove: We appreciate you taking the time to look this chapter over so many times. You are the best. Love you, bb!**

**To one of my RL bffs, Chefsky: This chapter is dedicated to you. I know I haven't told you why, but you will know as soon as you see it and it will bring back some amazing memories. I love you and miss you, Ally!**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 9 – Meetings, Mojitos, and Memories**

**Song Selections****:**

**For Bella's POV:**

"Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne

"_Don't Speak" by No Doubt_

**For Edward's POV:**

"_Maneater" by Nelly Furtado_

"_Shots" by LMFAO and Lil' Jon_

"_Right Now (Na Na Na)" by Akon_

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****Bella POV****

"_Edward Masen? I'm Isabella Black. Welcome to the Chicago Cubs organization. We all hope you will be happy here and do good things for our team."_

Are you kidding me? That's the best I could come up with after ten years? What the hell is wrong with me?

_What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you even asking that question? Sigmund Freud himself couldn't get to the bottom of your god dammed issues. Fuck!_

The entire trip up to my office was a complete haze, as I couldn't even wrap my clusterfucked mind around what just happened. In all honesty, I didn't even know how I got up to my office, because from the moment I laid eyes on Edward the world as I knew it completely stopped. The Earth was no longer rotating and it was all I could do to even breathe. All I knew was that the little thirty second conversation I had with Edward, was _so_ far from how I envisioned the moment going in my mind it wasn't even funny.

Could I have been any more of an indifferent bitch? Well… there is no need to answer that question because I knew the answer was no. In fact, I have been a bitch, indirectly of course, to him for the past few months. From the moment the name Edward Masen waltzed back into my life, I had quickly felt the walls I had carefully crafted around myself crumble little by little.

The person that I am today is definitely not the same shy girl everyone knew back in Forks. While the roots are still there, the woman I am now is more than a tad jaded by life. Although I had everything anyone could possibly ask for and then some, it all meant nothing in the end because there was no one to share it with. When I had a bad day, which was all too frequent lately, the only person I had to come home to was myself. Until recently, I never wanted to realize how utterly lonely I had become, because the wall I built around myself shielded me from reality. I thought that the harder I worked, the better I would feel. Although this stupid theory produced an instantaneous feeling of satisfaction, the natural high quickly deflated when I had no one to share it with. So, what did I do when this feeling struck me you ask? Well, I'll fucking tell you. I would simply work harder. Genius, right? Yeah, that's what I thought but the past five months had forced me to remove my blinders and truly examine who I was today. Unfortunately, what I saw I didn't like. Instead of my accomplishments, I saw my failures. Instead of my strengths, I saw my weaknesses. Instead of my happiness, I saw nothing, because every ounce of pure joy I got out of life vanished the moment I saw Edward with Lauren.

Although I didn't even recognize myself as a person, my heart always knew how deep my love and overall existence was connected to Edward. From the moment I met him, my life was forever altered. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, he loved me. It never made any sense for him to love little old average me, but for whatever reason he did. The crazy thing about us is that I was totally in love with him from the moment I saw him. It was odd, but it always felt like we were destined to be together or something. Crazy? For sure, but I guess that is what always made me so sure about wanting him to be my forever.

I guess however, this wasn't the plan because I have spent the past ten years in my shell of a life running, no scratch that...fucking sprinting, as far away from Edward as I possibly could. For awhile, this little plan was working pretty well. But, I guess the powers that be wanted to play the "let's fuck with Bella" game, because from the moment Emmett mentioned picking up his free agency, I have been in a complete tailspin. My life, lately, has totally resembled the crashing and burning of a ten year old's toy airplane. Pathetic you say? Please don't remind me.

"And I don't want to fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you… I don't want to talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you." Apparently, my life had turned into the lyrics of a damn Avril Lavigne song because this is exactly what I had been feeling for the past few months... well, the past five to be exact. While I can't forget our history and the mistakes we had both made, there was no denying that I was still in love with Edward. I was in love with him from the moment I first gazed into his beautiful emerald green eyes and I was still in love with him today. If nothing else, the absolutely disastrous conversation we had in the locker room only confirmed that, but from the tone of my voice, I am positive that was not how I came across.

_Holy shit, Bella! Alice told you that he was still in love with you and you are ridiculously in love with him, so… why the hell can't you get out of your own damn way and act like an actual human being for once? Ever thought of that? God, you are such a pain in the ass!!_

A pain in the ass? _A pain in the ass?_ That was one of the greatest understatements of the year. Of course I knew that I could be a pain in the ass, my friends and family told me that on a weekly basis. Chuckling out loud, I remembered that once during my unruly teen years, my mother even told me that, and I quote, "if you're going to be a pain in the ass, at least have a fine ass to back it up." Which now, thanks to my endless hours of running to help manage my stress, mine was as fucking perfect as Jessica Biel's, so thank you very much, Renee. However, just because I loved Edward it didn't erase what happened between us. If he hadn't slept with that bitchy whore Lauren, the past ten years of my life could have been different. They could have been exactly as they were destined to be… perfect. But guess what? My life hadn't been fucking perfect, far from it actually. So yeah, maybe I was a woman scorned, but I had that one fucking, stupid night, possibly the worst night in the history of the world, to thank for that. _So, thanks! _

As I sat at the thick mahogany desk in my office waiting for my meeting with Edward, a barrage of emotions flooded over me all at once. I was angry, so fucking angry at the years we had lost, sickened with myself and the person I had become, and pissed at Edward for sleeping with Lauren and walking away; not fighting for me or for us.

From here, the emotional floodgates opened so wide that the Hoover Dam wasn't powerful enough to close them. While I was angry at him, I also felt ashamed at myself. Ashamed at _me_ not fighting for him or us, ashamed at being a coward and not making contact with him despite knowing exactly where he was all those years, and I was over the moon ashamed for my actions towards him during the past five months.

"Jesus Christ, Bella. Could you have been anymore immature recently?' I groaned aloud as the reality of past few months hit me like a ton of bricks.

Knowing that the answer to this question was a big, fat _hell no_, I began to feel more lost than ever. For so long, my life had revolved around running away from him and hiding my feelings. So much so, that I had no idea how I was ever going to face him. How the hell was I supposed to have a conversation with the man who broke my heart so badly, that it had never recovered? How was I going to stop myself from yelling at him about the past? What in the world were we even going to talk about? And to top it all off, how in the hell was I going to ever begin to be his boss?

_Good luck with that one, chief! See, I told you if you kept running, it was only a matter of time before the past caught up with you and bit you in the ass. But noooo, you were too fucking stubborn to face it._

I felt my tired eyes beginning to well up with tears, and I knew that I needed to get a hold on my emotions and fast. At any moment, Edward Masen was going to walk through my door and while I was so angry and hurt over our past, I didn't want him to see any of that. I didn't want him to know that he could still affect me that way. He didn't deserve that smug satisfaction. I knew that I needed to act like a professional, because I was his damn boss and for that matter the co-owner of a Major League Baseball team. I was not just the scorned ex-girlfriend that I felt like. _Awkward much?_

As difficult as it would be, I needed to suppress my personal feelings about us because this shit wasn't just personal, it was also business. This motto worked for the Godfather and it had been the backbone of this organization for as long as I could remember.

Deep down, I knew it wasn't going to work today though. I could keep telling myself that this meeting wasn't going to be about anything personal, but fuck, I knew it was. All we really had to talk about was personal shit. Hell, Emmett had handled all the business stuff with him already and I had made my official welcoming to him downstairs. There was absolutely nothing business worthy to even discuss.

Just then, I heard the bell of the elevator ding and my heart began to race. I closed my eyes trying to get a handle on my breathing as well as my thoughts. This was it. For real this time. This was the opening game of the World Series, where I was the pitcher and Edward was the batter. The moment I had been simultaneously looking forward to and dreading for the last ten years. I sucked in a deep breath and began chewing on my lower lip nervously out of pure reflex. I rolled my neck a few times trying to ease the tension that had built up in my shoulders and upper back.

_You can do this, Bella. You can do this. _I began chanting to myself. _Who the hell are you? _God, I was starting to sound like damn Bela Karolyi before the Keri Shrug vault?_ He's just like any other human being, albeit the most god-like you had ever met, but still just like anyone else._

I was concentrating so hard on waiting for the knock on my door, that I was completely startled when my desk phone began ringing. I jumped and gasped a little, before realizing the hilarity of the entire situation. Christ, my mind was conjuring up enough suspense to be the next blockbuster psychological thriller. With my trance broken, I realized it was exactly what I had needed to get some control back into my brain. I quickly answered my phone letting Tanya know that she could send Edward in. I didn't know if I should sit or stand, or if the conversation should be formal or casual, but I knew that my body would probably just react like it always had when he was in my presence.

This time when the soft knock on the door came, I was ready. I called out "Come in," and watched as Edward and my entire past came eye to eye with me. He was just as beautiful as he had always been. His soft bronze hair was unruly and oh, so sexy on his head, probably from rubbing his hands through it. His angular jaw line framed his face in complete perfection. The strong straight nose with just the slightest of bumps giving away to full, well-proportioned lips. His green eyes looked deep into my own with skepticism, but lacked their usual twinkle which silently broke my heart a little more. God… I loved his eyes and the way they danced. I hated myself a little more for knowing that I was the cause of this lackluster sparkle.

My body reacted to him before my mind could catch up. I rose out of my chair and walked around my desk towards him. It was like I was magnetically drawn to his body. And God, what a body he had. His exposed forearms were muscular and cut into perfection from so many years of swinging a bat. His chest and shoulders were broad, and though Edward had always had a nice set of pecs when we were dating, they couldn't compare to what I imagined they looked like now. He had put on a significant amount of muscle weight since I had last been this close to him. My damn hands were aching to rub themselves over the perfection that was hidden under that cream-colored button down shirt he had on. His body narrowed at the abdomen and hips, forming that elusive V-shape that most men spent years trying and failing to achieve. The black dress pants he wore clung to his hips and thighs as if they were tailor made for him, and him alone. He was certainly a sight to behold.

_Down girl, down! He isn't the moon and you aren't Neil Armstrong taking one giant step for mankind. You need to back up and get your shit together, pronto!_

As I quickly brought my eyes back to his face, I could once again see the confusion and skepticism, and I knew that I was responsible for that. He had done a terrible thing, but he deserved this moment, this confrontation. I realized that as angry as I had been before, I couldn't bear to see him hurting. The walls around my heart were cracking and threatened to fall completely. I had been wrong to leave him without explanation and he sure as hell had deserved this moment and this closure for ten years.

And yes, it would be closure. It couldn't be anything else, but closure. Perhaps one day, we could heal enough to be friends, but I wouldn't bet money on it. I could see looking into his eyes how broken he was, how broken we both were. And with that, a plethora of images ran through my head at "what should have been" the past ten years of _our_ life together: family holidays, the birth of our children, vacations together, first days of school, being the last person we see at night and the first people we both see in the morning……

I saw his lips begin to twitch and I realized that I had to control the situation if I was going to do this right. I raised my index finger and shook my head, urging him not to talk yet. There was something I needed before I could tackle this head on--I had to see him smile, just once. Before I could register what I was doing, I felt myself exhale a breath I didn't even know I was holding and then I smiled at him. A sincere, honest to goodness smile. He reacted almost instantaneously, pulling his lips into that crooked smile, the one that had always made me swoon. His eyes brightened slightly and I could see the tension melting away from him. Ahhh… there was the boy that I loved so much.

It was now or never at this point. There was no ignoring him any longer. I knew he would have questions for me, questions he deserved answers to, and in that moment, I knew I would answer all of them. I wasn't sure I could provide any details on my own at this moment, but if he asked me about something specifically, I would answer him truthfully.

"Edward," I breathed, leaving the smile on my face, "Hey." I swallowed roughly, then added, "It's been a long time."

I watched the expressions flutter across his face and the emotions flicker through his eyes. "Bella?" he asked in an almost breathless voice. I nodded while he tried to decide on his next words. "I...I don't understand. Is it really you? Can I...shit, can I just touch your face to verify that this all isn't just some weird delusional dream I'm having?"

I wasn't sure that having him touch me was really the best idea, but I knew Edward well enough to know he needed the assurance. Hesitantly, I reached out towards his large hand. I lightly grasped his wrist and slowly brought his hand towards my cheek. His thumb gently grazed the tip of my nose before falling towards my cheekbone, while his other fingers found their resting place curling up under my jaw. As he slowly stroked my cheek, I felt my face lean into his touch. It was so familiar and yet, so foreign all at the same time.

I wanted to lose myself in this moment. My eyes closed in contentment and I heard a small sigh escape from my lips, right as I heard him whisper "I've missed you, Bella." My body froze at the sound. My eyelids flew back open. I couldn't do this. I couldn't let myself fall back into his arms like nothing ever happened. I couldn't let my physical needs overtake my emotional ones.

Swallowing back my fears, I began backing up and away from Edward. "I can't, Edward. I...I'm sorry." My hands trembled at my sides as I tried to regain my composure.

"I know. I'm sorry, Bella. I just...well I was just hoping maybe we could talk," Edward mumbled uncomfortably. "I've needed to tell you how sorry I am, so very sorry. I don't know if I can explain, but..."

I shook my head furiously, "No Edward, please. I can't. I will answer any questions you have for me, but I can't talk about any of that. Not yet. Someday, I promise, just not today. Please," I half begged him.

His face fell, obviously hurt by my refusal to address our past. I knew it needed to be done, but I just wasn't ready to hear his apology yet. Nor was I ready to give him one of my own. He nodded and sat down on the leather couch across the room. I realized I might need to start this conversation to move it along. I didn't know how long I would be able to stay composed with him so close to me in this office. "So Edward, honestly, go ahead. Ask me whatever you like."

He debated a moment before lifting his eyes to make contact with mine. His voice was steadier, more confident when he spoke. "Okay, care to explain how it is that you are my boss? How do you go from being the quiet girl, with her head in a book to owning a multi-million dollar franchise? I know that this is a family owned team, Bella. Is there a reason you wouldn't have mentioned this to me when we were together?"

Well, shit! He certainly wasn't holding back. I told him to ask me anything and hell if he didn't come at me with all guns blazing. "Fair question," I admitted, inhaling deeply before deciding how to begin. "Well you are right; this is a family-owned franchise. When my grandfather Swan died a little over two years ago, the team was passed onto Emmett, Alice, and I. With my father deceased, and my Aunt Esme uninterested in running the business, we were next in line. Ali never really had any interest in it, so Em and I bought her out. It may have seemed that this wasn't something I would be interested in, but believe me I spent every summer here learning the ropes. Emmett and I have always known we would be running this team one day."

_See, Bella. A little honesty. That wasn't so hard now was it?_

"But why didn't you tell me this, Bella? Why wouldn't you tell me you were being prepped to take over a baseball team in the future? You don't think that would have interested me? For fuck's sake, my life revolved around baseball," Edward retorted, clearly aggravated at this point.

"Well that's exactly why I didn't tell you," I spat back. "I wanted you to like me for me, not because I was an heir to multi-million dollar company. I saw that happen to both Ali and Em. Living in Chicago it was a little harder to hide from our family's reputation. They were both hurt multiple times by people who were only interested in our name and what that name could offer them. I would have told you eventually, I just didn't want that to be the reason you were interested in me. I couldn't have handled that, Edward."

_Wasn't so hard? What remote planet do you live on? Of course it is going to be hard!_

I sighed, and then continued my rant. "Hell, it was bad enough that people knew my stepfather was a baseball player. Do you have any idea how many people tried to befriend me once they found that shit out? The same kids who wanted nothing to do with me the week before now wanted to be my best friends. So, there were only two people who knew my secret. Two people I trusted to not judge me or change their opinions of me when they found out."

"Let me guess who those people were, Bella," Edward interrupted. He tapped his index finger on his chin in faux contemplation. "Hmm...if I had to guess I would say Jake and Angela. Is that right? Are those the _only_ two people you could trust?"

This conversation was not going at all how I expected. Of course I expected him to get mad and/or upset, but I didn't figure that this would be the question to get him to this point. I felt my anger growing once more. How dare he question who I could trust. I laughed bitterly, shaking my head and sucking my lower lip into my mouth. "You're right, Edward. They were the only ones I could trust. You certainly showed that to me in the end, didn't you?" I huffed.

Edward appeared taken aback at my comment. His face was now much more controlled and his voice more even as he spoke again. "I guess you're right. I don't want to fight with you, Bella. Please?" he practically begged. "Why don't you tell me what you've been up to for the past ten years? I want to know you again. I want to be able to prove my trust to you."

_Ten years_? Are you kidding me? How do you try to explain to someone what you've been doing in the past ten years? Should I give him the casual answer; you know the one you'd give to an old classmate at your reunion, or a formal timeline of events in Bella Swan-Black's life? Somehow I don't think he was quite ready for that timeline. How would I start that, _Well you see Edward, after I ran from you, I spent time in Chicago then went to Arizona delivered your child, gave it up for adoption, ran again back to Chicago, immersed myself in schoolwork, married Jake because I was too depressed to go on, worked for my grandfather, took over the team, made up an elaborate story to protect you from my stepfather and to keep myself hidden from you, etc, etc_. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not quite ready to hear all that.

"Hmm," I said trying to sort through all my options. "Well, I went to Chicago for the summer after I left you. I was supposed to start at Northwestern, but I decided to defer for a year and I spent some time in Arizona with my Mom. The following summer I started back at Northwestern and was able to finish my degree in three years - pretty amazing for a double major. After I graduated I married Jake, I'm sure you remember him..."

Edward's eyes popped open at that statement. "Wait. Did you just say you married Jake? Jacob Black?" He said slowly as if remembering it for the first time. He went on to mumble something I couldn't really understand and then, more to himself he added "that was his last name, I remember it now." Edward glared back at me once more, this time with a fire in his eyes as he continued. "So where is old Jake? I see you aren't wearing a wedding ring and Newton seems to think he somehow has a chance with you, so I'm guessing he is not in the picture. Did the perfect best friend finally fuck up and let you down, Bella?" Edward asked with disdain.

I couldn't help but stiffen, my anger rising quickly. How dare he talk about Jake that way! I knew they had not always see eye to eye, but he had no right to say anything negative about anyone. "Actually Edward," I snapped back, "you might have known that Jake was sick even back when you knew him. He died not even six months into our marriage."

His jaw dropped and his eyes softened before he sputtered out an apology. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so angry. Just my jealousy rearing its ugly head. Of all the people you could have married, I just would have hoped it wouldn't be him." Edward dropped his head in embarrassment. "Can I ask you a question?" he stated waiting for me to nod before continuing. "If you knew he was so sick, why did you marry him, Bella? You couldn't have had a normal life with him. It sounds so depressing to be with someone, watching them die at such a young age."

I smiled at him in reverence of my memories with Jake. "Actually, that was the happiest six months I've had in the past ten years. Jake lived each day as if it were his last. We traveled and visited places I would have never dreamed of going. We tried new foods and went to concerts in the park. It was actually pure bliss. We had to avoid doing anything too straining as his heart was too weak to handle much physical activity, but it never held us back. Believe me, it was anything but depressing. He was happy and that made me happy."

"I'm glad that you were happy, Bella. I've only ever wanted you to be happy," Edward replied with sadness in his voice. He cleared his throat and I could just make out him mumbling "I just wish it could have been me that gave you that happiness."

"I wished that too, once upon a time," I added quietly. Edward brought his eyes back to mine and we just stared at each other for what seemed like minutes. Both of us reminiscing about where it all went wrong, how we had thrown away so many years, and how it was most likely impossible that we could ever start again. Well, at least that is what I was thinking about.

I had to break this trance we were in, or else it would slowly break me. Well, let's be honest, he already was breaking me. I wasn't ready to relive that night, but I could see Edward was when I looked deep into his eyes. This whole thing was a mess. He couldn't think he could walk in here and make everything alright. Did he think I didn't know what he had been up to? There was no way I was going to let him paint himself the victim here. If anything, we were both victims, but definitely not only him. Just as he was about to speak, I opened my mouth and spat out the first thing that came to my mind. "And what were you doing all these years? It's not like you were sitting around waiting for me. From what I could see you were out having quite a bit of fun yourself."

_There you go again Bella. Acting like a bitch! How many times do I have to remind you that this isn't how you treat the person you love most in the world?_

Edward snorted loudly in reply. "Are you serious? You think I wanted any of those girls? Half that shit is made up anyway. You should know that Bella. Why do you care anyway? You're the one who walked away from us."

Oh, hell fucking no! This asshole isn't going to sit here and spat that shit off to me about walking away was he? "What?" I cut in exasperated. "You're the one who walked away. When you slept with Lauren, you walked away from us."

Edward shook his head, relenting "Maybe. Fuck, I don't remember anything from that night. So maybe I did. But I wanted to talk. Maybe we couldn't have fixed anything, but I still didn't want to walk away and leave things like that."

So, after ten long and sad years for the both of us, the best answer he could give me was the old-as-time bullshit about not remembering that night? Seriously, that was the _best_ he could do? To top it all off, he said he didn't want to walk away? What the fuck did he think was going to happen after sleeping with my arch enemy no less? That we were going to sit down, talk it out, hug, cry, have crazy make-up sex, and forget it had ever happened? I may like to live in denial, case in point, the past ten years, but there was no way on Earth that I would have been able to forget that night. For Christ sakes, I hadn't! I relive it every fucking night! So, forgiving is one thing, though truthfully I hadn't gotten there yet, but forgetting …. that is something else entirely.

"So what? Fine, you got me! I ran away and basically hid from you. I've never been hurt like that before. It was the only reaction I knew. But I am not running or hiding now, I'm not the same girl Edward."

"HA!" Edward sharply laughed once. "Of course you are. You've been hiding from me for months. For that matter you've been hiding from me for years. You've known exactly where I've been at. You even had a fucking informant working for you. Someone I thought I could look up to and trust. I trusted Phil as a friend, as a mentor."

"Phil doesn't know," I said quickly. "You can trust him; he's always had your best intentions in mind. He doesn't know who you are...to me, I mean," I could barely state without losing the thread of composure I still had. "When I knew you were going to Arizona, I made sure that Phil didn't know you. I wanted you to have a fair chance. I didn't want him to judge you, for hurting me."

He sat on the couch silently stewing. His face was slightly flushed in anger. "So now you get to choose what's best for me? I don't even have a fucking say in my own life, is that what you're telling me?"

What the hell? I thought I was doing him a favor by keeping this from Phil. Does he know how much of a cost this had on Renee? What, did he think that he was a puppet on a string and I was controlling his actions? No! I was simply trying to give him the chance he deserved. Gosh!

"You could try to be a little grateful. I did all this to protect you. Do you have any idea how pissed Phil was when I skipped out on my first year of college? He would have killed you," I said matter-of-factly.

Edward stood from the couch, his arms gesturing wildly. "Enough. Just stop Bella. I didn't need your protection. I didn't want that. All I wanted was you. All these years that's all I've ever wanted." He sighed deeply, shaking his head and laughing bitterly. "I can see that was a mistake though. A fucking colossal mistake. There's obviously nothing else here for us to talk about, so I'll just go. Sorry I've intruded on your perfect life. Unfortunately, you're stuck with me for the next ten years, so we are either going to have to figure this shit out, or learn to ignore each other. I suppose that is up to you, since you seem to control everything else."

He turned and began walking towards the door, throwing it open loudly. Peering back over his shoulder he sneered, "You'll know where to find me when you're ready, especially since you have to sign all my damn paychecks." With that, he walked out the door and to the emergency stairwell, pushing it open until it slammed into the wall and then disappeared.

I sat down in my chair completely exasperated. How the fuck did everything go so wrong? I put my head in my hands and began to sob. The tears were coming like they hadn't in years. I couldn't even find it in myself to care if anyone heard. I wrapped my left arm around my middle and put my head and right arm down onto the table and continued to sob.

I'm not sure how long I sat in my office like that, could have minutes or hours, time seemed to have no boundaries. Eventually, I felt warmth enveloping me, rocking me and whispering everything was going to be okay. When I looked up through my tear soaked eyes, I could make out Rosalie's form. The tears came harder when I saw her and I all but collapsed into her chest.

"Shh, Bella. Please don't cry. He's not fucking worth crying over," Rose said trying to comfort me. I looked at her again and tried to nod, my tears slowing slightly. "Honestly B, he's not worth it. He's not even that hot."

My tears turned into chuckles, I couldn't help it. Maybe I was going mad. She was obviously lying with that last comment. Leave it to Rose. She always did know how to cheer me up.

She looked at me, a smile breaking out over her face when she heard the laughing. "You're way too damn sexy for him. Even with this mascara all over your face. Now come on, let's go get you cleaned up and then we're going for drinks. I know just what you need."

I relented and stood up, because god, a drink was absolutely fucking necessary right now. I knew Rose, and I had a bad feeling the night was going to turn into something I would probably regret, but I couldn't allow myself to care right now. Nothing sounded better than shots, mojitos, loud music and dancing. Fuck me! We're young and fine, so let's do some damage. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, could do more damage than my bff Rose. This night is full of possibilities, I can feel it… or on second thought, I sure as shit hope I can't feel it. Mango mojitos, here I come!

* * *

****Edward's POV****

_Dammit. Dammit. Dammit._

"Dammit," I said aloud as the thick door of the locker room slammed right into my left shoulder. Mike Newton was standing there staring at me as I held onto my shoulder rubbing out the pain. "Shit, Newton. Don't you look when you're throwing a door open? You could have fucking hurt someone."

"Ah, suck it up, Pretty boy. You're fine. You should watch where you're standing. Why the hell are you hanging out in front of the door? Besides, I thought everyone was already gone. You left like twenty minutes ago," Mike chortled.

I fucking hated this guy more and more every minute I spent with him. I was already beyond pissed off and humiliated from my meeting with Bella, and this asshole really didn't want to fuck with me right now. "Just get the hell out of my way," I said as I pushed by him back into the locker room to grab my car keys.

I could barely look at him after he talked about my girl that way earlier in the team meeting. Did they really have some type of relationship going on? Bella never denied anything in her office when I mentioned him. "Fucking hell," I spat as I turned back around quickly and irrationally launched my keys as hard as I could toward the back of my locker.

"Dude, you have some real fucking anger issues," Mike said as he pushed the door back open and left the room.

I sat down on the bench and just breathed in and out, trying to get some control over myself. Where the fuck did everything go wrong? I had been dreaming of this day for so long and I knew it wasn't going to be some perfect reunion, but shit, I don't really know if it could have gone worse.

When I had touched her and held her soft skin up against mine, I felt like I was in heaven. And then when she leaned into the touch, moaning softly like she always had, I silently prayed that the moment would never end. I was finally home, she was my home. She was what had been missing in all those other places. But then she pulled away, backing up like I was some sort of monster she couldn't get away from fast enough. Her voice was colder, angrier when she spoke again. My mother was right. She was anything, but indifferent.

I suppose that should have thrilled me. I did say that the indifference was the worst thing possible. I wanted angry. But now that I had seen it, I wasn't sure if indifference might not have been better. The anger hurt. And the more she fucking talked the more angry and jealous I got. I couldn't contain it, even though it is not at all what I wanted.

But she had lied, lied about so much. The world I thought I had known was not at all what it had seemed. It was almost like Bella was playing God. She was always one step ahead. What really blew my mind is when she said she did it all to protect me. Protect _me_? Why would I need protection? She was protecting herself. I wasn't running away, she was.

All I had ever wanted was for her to be happy. I suppose somewhere deep down I had dysfunctionally started to believe that our unhappiness was intertwined. That if we could just find each other again, we could both finally find that elusive tranquility that had been missing in our lives. But I guess that had just been me. Bella had found some happiness with Jake. She had gotten married and traveled and just lived. I was still missing that. I wasn't living, I was simply functioning. It made me sick to think of her with him romantically. I had always known he wanted more with her, hence the deep-seeded jealousy that sometimes sprung when we were in high school. But visualizing him actually touching her made me almost physically ill.

I was brought out of my inner-monologue when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was a text from Jasper. I was so glad he hadn't called because I probably would have just ignored it with the mood I was in. I clicked on the message and saw he was only congratulating me on the game and asking if I wanted to go out to celebrate. There was a small line at the end that said "meeting with boss" with a question mark at the end. I knew he was wondering if it even taken place. I figured I should probably leave the stadium anyway. I wasn't in any mood to celebrate, but I suppose a few drinks might help numb the memory of Bella.

I jumped in my car and took off back to Jazz's place. I was swerving through traffic when it dawned on me that Jasper may already know who Bella was. Alice had known this all along and never said a word. She must have told him. Their relationship was pretty hot and heavy for the past three months; I can't imagine she would have kept it a secret from him. Why wouldn't he have warned me though? He was my best friend, why would he send me into battle unprepared? I didn't know these answers but I was sure as hell going to find out.

My temper was flaring when I finally got to his door. I heard Alice bounding to open it after I knocked. I knew as soon as she swung the door open that she was nervous about my state of mind. I gave her curt nod and sharply said her name as I entered going directly to the fridge for a beer. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her give Jasper a meaningful glance. _He knew_. I slammed the fridge door closed and went to the drawer for a bottle opener. _I can't believe he didn't say anything to me._ I flipped off the bottle top and took a long swig of the cold ale. I spoke with my back to them. I just couldn't look them in the eyes right now. "How long have you known, Jazz?"

I waited patiently for him to speak. It seemed like minutes had gone by before I heard a loud sigh. "I'm sorry, bro. Ali just told me this afternoon before the game. I didn't think that would be the best time to tell you news like that."

That was probably true, although it still pissed me off. I huffed and nodded my head before speaking to Alice. "You knew Alice. Why...why didn't you say anything? I could have been more prepared," I said angrily, turning suddenly and glaring at her.

Alice stared down at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. "I wanted to. I wanted to tell you that first time when we were at the pub, but I realized it wasn't my place. Bella needed to be the one. Emmett and I tried over and over to get her to talk to you, but...she just wasn't ready. You were, I could tell, so I wasn't as worried about it being sprung on you. If I had told you, I knew you would have gone straight to her wanting to see and talk to her. It would have been a disaster. She would have closed off again. I'm sorry," she said, finally looking up at me.

"Well it was a disaster regardless," I mumbled before taking another long swig of beer. I sat the empty bottle down on the counter and hung my head in defeat. I wanted Bella just as much as I had before, but the hopelessness of situation was weighing heavily on me. I had hurt her- there was no question about that. Today I found out, just how much she had hurt me too. We weren't just broken from being alone all this time, but also in what we had done to each other. There was a lot of anger and resentment on the surface. For me though, there was still a lot of love and appreciation buried deep.

"Edward," Alice's voice rang out in the quiet of the room. "You two were meant to be together. I can see that. It's going to work out. It might take some time for the both of you to sort through all your feelings and repair all your wounds, but its right, I know it."

I'm glad Alice could be so optimistic, but it wasn't going to be so easy for me. I didn't see Bella being interested in working through anything right now. She said she would answer any questions, but carefully avoided quite a few. She was still very closed off and I had a feeling she would stay that way.

"Look, I know you don't feel like celebrating, but let's go out. You need to get your mind off of things for awhile. You're off tomorrow anyway. We'll all hit up a lounge or something. What do you say?" questioned Jasper.

I shrugged my shoulders and agreed to go, thinking a few drinks with friends would be more socially acceptable than a few drinks alone. I headed out a few minutes later to go back to my place and change. Alice said they'd stop by and pick me up in an hour. _What-the-fuck-ever_!

My mom had done a great job on my new place. It was totally different from my place in Scottsdale, but it was very warm and inviting. I flipped on ESPN while I went and jumped in the shower. Though I had taken one at the field, my hair was a mess again from me constantly running my hands through it earlier. Not knowing where the fuck we were going, at this point I didn't even care, I decided to that I couldn't go wrong with my distressed MEK jeans, navy-striped button down shirt, and my favorite lead-colored leather loafers. If I was going to go out, I would at least look fucking good for Christ's sake.

At this point, my head was still reeling from the damn disastrous meeting I had with Bella. Come to think of it, I really don't even think that the phrase "disastrous meeting" could begin to describe how that nightmare occurred. Good lord! What happened to the beautiful and shy girl that I use to know? What the fuck happened to her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that use to tell me a world of secrets?

"Fuck!" I screamed into the mirror as I was unable to turn off the "what" questions.

It does no good to ask the "what's" because where would they get me? No-fucking-where, that's where. I was hurting and she was hurting, but the ball was in her court and the look in her eyes today told me that she wasn't willing to play this game with me anytime soon. If I am being completely honest with myself, there aren't enough words to describe my feelings at the moment. Hurt? Yes. Pissed? Absolutely! Sad? Most definitely. Confused? That goes without fucking saying. Still in love with her? Totally.

Unknowing how long I was lost in my thoughts; I was brought out of them by a knock on my door. Shaking my head quickly in my attempt to initiate a "No Bella Zone" for the night, I ran my fingers through my naturally unruly hair; admired how damn good I looked, and headed for the door.

Taking one deep breath, I opened the door and was immediately met by Jasper and Alice. Always the stylish one, Alice looked beautiful as always and really made my friend Jasper look good, too. Lucky bastard! Both of them off-setting one another in palettes of grey. Jasper's clothing choices had certainly been stepped up a notch since he had started dating Alice. I smiled, greeting them both, Jazz with a fist bump and Alice with a kiss on the cheek. We decided to have a quick cocktail at my house before we took off to the NV Penthouse Lounge.

We took a taxi down to the lounge which was located on W. Hubbard Street and was on the top floor of the building. Walking in, I saw that the place was decked out in black and white with green accents. The place was really crazy packed for a Wednesday night. The three of us headed into the club and went straight to the bar for a drink. I was sticking with my Grey Goose and soda with lime. It was the drink you could never go wrong with. Once Jasper ordered his Johnny Walker and Alice her espresso martini we settled into a high top table off to the side of the bar.

We sat and talked for about an hour refilling our drinks without hesitancy. I had a pretty good buzz going when I noticed two very hot girls holding hands and making their way out onto the dance floor area. The tall blonde was wearing a one-shouldered red silk blouse and very short black skirt with the highest pair of heels I had ever seen. I didn't know how she could walk in them, let alone dance. Her brown-haired friend had on a hot pink strapless dress with a fitted black blazer. Both were grinding up to each other dancing to Nelly Furtado's Maneater. Alice noted my gaze and turned to look in their direction.

"Shit!" I heard her exclaim. I was just about to turn and look at her when I realized the brown-haired girl I had been eyeing up was none other than Bella. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know that they'd be here," Alice tried to shout out over the music.

I was so mesmerized by Bella that I barely heard her. I shrugged off her comment and continued to stare at the girls. My mouth turning up at the corners as I watched Bella laugh and sway her hips with the beat of the music. She was so much better coordinated then she had been in high school. Bella and her friend Rosalie, who Jasper mentioned was Emmett's fiancé, linked fingers as Bella slowly cascaded down Rosalie's body. God, she was so incredibly fucking sexy! I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She looked so loose and free and it made my almost giddy.

That was of course until she made eye-contact with me. It was if she could feel my eyes on her from across the room. The smile on her face faltering immediately as she froze mid-dance. I saw her whisper something into Rosalie's ear and then they both stopped to stare at Alice, giving her a death glare and a scowl.

Alice bounded up out of her seat, crossing the room quickly towards the other girls. "This can't be good," Jasper said, leaning in towards me. The argument looked heated and appeared to be mainly between Rose and Alice, while Bella glanced back and forth between the girls, her phone, and me. She seemed to spend the majority of the time texting on her phone as the girls continued to argue back and forth. When Bella finally did address Alice, I watched as Ali's little arms flew up above her head in exasperation. She spat sharply back at Bella in retort, before finally turning on her heel and stalking back to our table. Rose gave us all another quick glare before both her and Bella turned and walked back to the bar.

"What happened" I asked as soon as Ali sat back down. It had been killing me that I couldn't hear their conversation from across the room.

"Nothing worth discussing," Alice grumbled. "I should have known they'd be here. This is Rosalie's favorite hangout and Bella loves their mango mojitos. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Are they pissed at you, Baby?" Jasper questioned, looking at Alice with the pure love and concern in his eyes.

Alice simply shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "Nothing I can do about it now. Rosalie accused me of picking sides since I am here with you and Edward. Not like either one of those bitches called me to go out with them anyway, so they can go ahead and kiss my ass."

Jasper got up and moved his stool closer to Alice's, bringing his arm around her shoulder protectively. They talked quietly between themselves for a few moments and I tried to look away to give them some privacy. I hated to put Alice in the middle like this and told her so when they finally broke apart from their kiss. She shrugged it off again and said both of the girls were too far gone to comprehend anything tonight anyway. "I mean, Bella's drunk-texting right now. That should tell you enough."

_Please don't let her be texting that asshat Mike Newton! _

My eyes flashed open and began searching for her and Rosalie at the bar. When I finally did spot them, I noticed immediately that Bella was indeed texting someone and she was biting her lower lip and smirking. Who the hell was she drunk texting? Rosalie's attention seemed to be trained on the bartender as she waited for their drink refills. When she went to hand Bella her drink, I saw her frown. She set the drink down and tried to grab Bella's phone away from her, shaking her head no.

_Fuck me! Please, please, please don't let her be texting that douche bag Newton. _

Just then, I saw Emmett walk through the crowd. He noticed us and waved over toward our table before spotting the girls. He came up behind Rosalie placing his hands on her waist, apparently surprising her as she just about spilled her drink when she jumped at the contact. He gave her a kiss and then turned to give Bella one also. He positioned himself behind both girls at the bar effectively blocking Bella from my view.

I sighed and turned my attention back towards Alice and Jasper just as our waitress came over. The DJ started playing the song "Shots," just as we were about to order. We took it as an omen and decided to order another round of drinks as well as a few shots. Jazz and I each got lemon drops and Alice ordered some type of layered one that she had to explain to the waitress.

A few minutes later our server returned with our drinks. I looked at Alice curiously, asking her what kind she ordered. "It's called a Pussy Galore" she explained with a bright smile on her face.

"What's it taste like?" Jasper chimed in.

Alice's smile grew wider as Jazz apparently fell right into her trap. "It tastes like sweeeet, sweet pussy," she said suggestively. "It's my absolute favorite," she added with a wink before throwing it back and licking her lips with fervor.

Jasper's eyes bulged and he practically fell over himself as he watched her show. "Jesus, Alice! What are you trying to do to me?" he said.

Alice gave him a devious smile as she took her second shot watching Jasper carefully. This time instead of licking her lips when she was done, she suggestively asked if he "might want a taste."

I laughed heartily at both of them, so happy that my best friend seemed to have found his soul-mate. Conversation continued easily between the three of us for some time as we talked and joked about some random college story of Alice's. I continued to try and steal glances at Bella, wondering if she was doing the same to me.

Bella continued to be distracted with the phone on and off until she suddenly turned and started looking around towards the door to the club. My eyes tried to follow her gaze and froze when I saw who she had been waiting for. Of all the damned people, Mike fucking Newton was walking towards her with a big smile on his face. I felt my hands ball into fists on the table as my jealousy sprang forth with a vengeance. Jasper noticed my change of character immediately and asked what was wrong. I couldn't even answer him. What the fuck was going on between Bella and Newton?

"No, she fucking did not," I heard Alice groan before sighing and turning back towards the table.

I had to find out what their deal was before I fucking lost right here and now. "Alice, please tell me those two are not hooking up," I pleaded to her.

"Newton and Bella? Fuck no!" she dead-panned. "Newton went to Northwestern with her, Em, and Rose, so we have all known him for forever it seems. He's always had it hard for Bella, but she really just enjoys playing with him. She would _never_ hook up with him," she said with emphasis. "They do have a pretty playful relationship though and he drunk calls and texts her constantly. I don't know why the hell she puts up with it. I think she just kinda likes the attention, regardless of his douchebaggery."

Alice continued staring at her cousin and the idiot with an inquisitive look on her face. "I must admit, she typically does not encourage him though. I think your being here, may have sparked this little fire," she said furrowing her brow.

I watched and seethed internally as Newton grabbed Bella and they began dancing together. He looked like such a tool as he tried to grope her ass. Did he have no respect for a lady? I wanted to get up, march right over and punch him square in the jaw, but Jasper and Emmett both grabbed me the second I made in up off the stool.

"Let me go, now" I growled at both of them as I tried to shake myself free. Fucking Emmett was like a grizzly bear, holding me right in place.

"It's not a good idea, Edward," Jasper pleaded with me.

"Just wait until tomorrow and you can talk with her about it then," Alice added.

"You fucking go off and break your throwing hand punching him, and I will have your ass. Do you hear me Masen? Just leave Bella alone. Hell, you of all people should know she is very strong-willed. If she wants to talk to you, she'll come to you. Got it?" Emmett threatened.

I couldn't sit there and watch the love of my life dancing with some asshat, even if she wasn't interested in him. The whole scene was making my head spin and my stomach started to feel physically ill. I had to get out of here. My anger and jealousy were so out of control that I wasn't sure what I'd do if I was confronted with them at this moment. Suddenly the song changed, and Akon's "Right Now" sounded throughout the room, the words speaking to me so deeply.

"It's been so long, that I haven't seen your face, I'm tryna be strong, but the strength I have is washing away."

I continued to stare at Bella, my eyes literally boring into her soul. Her eyes eventually met mine. The intensity and tension between us was thick and overwhelming. I could barely breathe. My chest heaving up and down with the beat of the music.

"I wanna make up right now, na, na. I wanna make up right now, na, na. Wish we never broke up right now, na, na. We need to link up right now, na na."

I could see all of our mistakes laid out so clearly in front of me, but none of those meant anything. She felt it, too; I could see it in her eyes. All that mattered was that we loved each other. We could make all this right again. I knew we could.

"Girl I know, mistakes were made between us two, and we sure, our eyes that I even said somethings weren't true. Why'd you go? I haven't seen my girl since then. Why can't it be the way it was, cause you were my homie, lover, and friend..."

She kept her eyes fixated on me as I slid off my stool slowly. I knew I would probably regret the boldness of my actions later, but I was useless to stop them. I sauntered towards her with determination. Her eyes widened in awareness, but did not try to dissuade me. She stilled in Mike's arms. I silently pleaded with her to understand what I was promising her.

"I can't lie, I miss you much. Watching everyday that goes by, I miss you much. Until I get you back I'm gonna try, yes I miss you much. You're the apple of my eye. Girl, I miss you much."

I walked up behind Newton, grasping his shoulder and lightly pushing him off to the side, my eye contact with Bella never breaking. I reached out and took her face in between my hands, stepping closer so our faces were only inches apart. She swallowed and opened her mouth just slightly panting her warm breath across my lips. I watched as her heavy-lidded eyes slowly gave in to the moment and fluttered close, her hands settling onto my chest. I let my senses take over for a moment as I could smell the sweet combination of mint and fruit waft from her breath. I wanted to taste her. I needed to taste her.

"I want you to fly with me. Want you to fly. I miss how you lie with me. Miss how you lie. Just wish you to dine with me. Wish you could dine..."

As the tempo of the music slowed, our lips touched lightly, hesitantly together before separating. They quickly met again, this time a little stronger. The process repeating itself twice more, each time with a little more passion, until I finally felt her lips relax and begin kneading with mine. Her warm tongue slid across my lower lip, causing me to moan in pleasure. As it entered into my mouth and met my own, they began to engage in a sensual dance.

Her hands slid slowly up my chest and around my neck, her fingers twining into my hair, and pulling me towards her as the kiss continued to deepen. My god how I have missed her small hands in my hair. My hands left her face and I reached around to her lower back securing her body to mine. I needed her to be closer to me. I needed to make her feel how much I loved her. If I couldn't say it, I needed her to feel it.

The world around us drifted away. It was only me and Bella now. Hungry and desperate for each other, we continued kissing, practically swallowing ourselves into one another. Our bodies were pressed together tightly, but it wasn't enough. When it came to this, it has never been enough between us. Both of us, trying to weld ourselves into one just like the way it was truly meant to be for us.

The sensations were so overwhelming. The fire in my body starting out as a slow burn, and then the heat and electricity rapidly multiplying until it raged out of control. Bella consumed me. It was everything I had ever dreamed of and wished for.

And then I felt something trying to pull me backwards. I gasped and tried to hold on to Bella tighter, but the pulling would not relent. I continued to try and fight it frantically, but in my weakened, over-sensitized state, I wasn't strong enough and eventually our lips disconnected.

When I looked up, Mike was standing between us. What was he thinking? I tried to push him away again, desperately needing to see my girl's eyes. When I finally found them, I could tell her's were just as desperate and confused as my own. I let mine drift closed once more for just a second, trying to memorize every sensation that I had experienced just a moment earlier. Not wanting to forget anything.

The sound startled me first and then my left hand instinctively reached up to feel the warmth and tingling spreading across my cheek. My eyes flashed open, just in time to see Bella lowering her right hand, a murderous glare in her eyes.

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**A/N****: So... What did you think? ::biting nails in anticipation:: We are BEGGING you to please review this chapter and let us know. It was quite a stressful one to write. And... we said Please, that must count for something.**

****On our profiles I have posted pics of the NV Penthouse Lounge as well as EVERYONE'S clothing apparel from the night out.****

**If this story was rec'd to you by someone, please let us know by whom, so we can thank them properly. **

**Story Recommendations****:**

_**High Anxiety**** by EdwardsBloodType**_**. Amazing story. Makes me want to just reach out and hold Edward. Then again, I always want to do that!**

_**Fate and Forgotten Secrets**** by snshyne**_**. Great story. One of the coolest chics I know. Please check it out.**

**Don't forget to follow us on Twitter: DSDF22 and LZTZ. We have way too much fun on there, seriously, way too much fun! You're missing out if you haven't tried it out. **


	10. Realizations and Breakthroughs

**Author's Note: Thank you to all our readers who reviewed the last chapter. It is so appreciated. We are going to make this first A/N short as this chapter is extremely long. Please read the end A/N for important announcements and information.**

**Thank you to shaelove for betaing this and for all of her encouragement and help with setting us up on our new Twilighted Forum. A very special thanks to refolin for previewing this chapter and for always overanalyzing and forcing me to look deeper into the minds of these amazing and complex characters.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 10 – Realizations and Breakthroughs**

**Song Selections****:**

**"**_**Gravity" by Sara Bareilles**_

**"**_**I Hate Myself for Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson**_

**"**_**What I've Done" by Linkin Park**_

**"**_**Fix You" by Coldplay**_

_**"I Can See Clearly Now" by Jimmy Cliff**_

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**** Bella's POV ****

_Don't let me go, Edward. Please, don't ever let me go. Wait a minute, what the fuck did I just do? What the hell just happened? Did I just kiss Edward? Did I just slap him? Damn it, I meant to slap Mike. Shit, shit, shit!_

Time stood still, the earth stopped moving, and the sounds of the club vanished. At that moment, the only thing I could feel was Edward. The way his large hands softly cupped my face, the way my hands felt on his chest, how silky his hair felt in between my fingers, and the way I was powerless to his touch. Just as if no time had passed at all, when our lips met, I felt alive, happy, loved, content….home. I knew I should have ended it, ran away from him, but I couldn't stop the strong gravitational pull we had towards each other. I just needed to feel him so desperately, needed to feel that he was real. I needed to feel if he still loved me as much as I loved him. I simply needed him, my Edward.

But as soon as I started pouring everything I had into our kiss, I immediately felt it all slipping away. I was being pulled from the one place that I wanted to be, the one place that felt right. I was drunk and confused, thanks to the highly talented bartender boy with a yummy Australian accent, and had no idea why I was being pulled from Edward. A million questions starting running through my head. Was he backing away from me? He was the one who initiated the kiss. Was Rose pulling me away? I highly doubt that. Was Emmett freaking out? I suspect he wasn't even paying fucking attention. Was it Alice? Hell no, as that little pixie would already be planning our wedding. I knew I wasn't backing away, so then who?

And then it hit me like a Mac truck… Mike fucking Newton. That cock-blocking asshat must have taken it upon his nosy ass self to step in between myself and Edward. I mean, I can't really blame him because I was, unfortunately, the idiot who thought it would be a genius idea to play a little round of "let's drunk-text Mikey" and have him come out and meet us. In hindsight, this wasn't the smartest of moves, but I was drunk and confused from seeing Edward, so I started texting without thinking. Clearly, this was the stupidest decision I've made all day.

_Fuck my life! Oh wait; I am the master and commander of this ship. Great! If I could, I'd throw my own ass overboard._

Mike had positioned himself almost directly between Edward and I after he pulled us apart. I'm not even sure how the slap had hit Edward instead of Mike, but it somehow must have. _Note to self: Do not try and slap someone while coming out of a kiss-induced lust haze._ "God damn it, Mike! What the hell are you doing?" I angrily snapped.

"What the hell am I doing? What the hell are _you_ doing, Bella?" he replied sharply. "I was simply doing you a favor and getting Masen here off you. You don't even know him. He's such a cocky bastard that he thinks he can just have any girl he wants. I'll be damned if I let you be one of his conquests. He needs to learn his lesson."

For some reason, the tone of his voice was pissing me off even more. I wasn't his girlfriend and furthermore, we've never done anything even remotely resembling a relationship in all the years I have known him, so why he felt the need to be my knight in shining armor is beyond me. There was only one person who could fill this role and he was the one I was pulled away from.

_Bella, really? Are you going to yell at Mike? You, drunk ass, are the one who got the bright idea to text him to come down here in the first place. This is entirely your fault. Good work, kiddo!_

Still fuming over the entire situation, I quickly shook my head from side to side and sharply replied "Well, thanks for that Mike, but I don't _need_ you to be my damn hero."

Never one to take a hint, I vaguely heard Mike running his mouth about something, but for the life of me, I had no idea what he was saying and I honestly didn't care. I immediately looked over his shoulder and found Edward standing there witnessing our entire exchange. It was at that moment his face broke my heart. He looked so sad and confused and lost. Every emotion I was feeling was mirrored in his expression. Seeing his hand still on his face from where I slapped him left me utterly speechless. A wave of panic slipped over me so deep that I had no idea if I would ever be able to fix this. The slap was meant for Mike, never Edward but he didn't know this. How was I ever going to take this back? How was I ever going to stop being such a bitch when it came to Edward? How was I ever going to let him all the way back in? Would he even want me back after all that I've done?

I had to talk to him. I had to begin repairing all that was broken between us. I had to step up and take the reins because I was the one afraid, not Edward. I couldn't continue this little dance we were doing for the next ten years. I was unhappy and so was Edward, I could see it in his eyes and was sure he could see the same in mine.

As if in a trance, I slowly moved around Mike's shoulder so I was face to face with Edward. Taking a deep breath, I knew I needed to explain but really didn't know how.

"Edward," I said in a voice barely above a whisper "I am so sorry. Please believe me. That slap was meant for Mike, never for you."

And it was after those words that his hand slid slowly off his face, his arms stretched out to find me once again. Just like before, whatever magnetic pull that there was between us, it began drawing me into his arms without a second thought. In my head, I knew I shouldn't have followed, should have stood my ground, but it appeared as if my conscious was nonexistent tonight. For once, I was letting my heart be my guide and it felt amazing. But just as I was about to mold myself back into his embrace, my head had a moment of clarity and stopped me dead in my tracks. Instead of running towards him, I began to backup because as indescribable as it felt being with Edward, there was still that nagging feeling of fright ever present under the surface. I was afraid to open my heart to him again, terrified with the thought of having to explain to him all of the mistakes I had made, and scared shitless what would happen if this didn't work out. Losing Edward once was bad enough, but twice… I would never recover.

"Bella, come here baby. Please don't walk away. _Please_," was his soft plea as I stood motionless.

Feeling my eyes well up with tears, I quietly stated, "I can't do this right now, Edward. I can't. It's simply too much."

I had to get away; I needed to find solace in the comfort of my home. Did I need to be with Edward? God yes, but I wasn't ready for this. I didn't know if I could deal with all of the secrets I've been concealing from him for so long. I barely wanted to admit them to myself, so laying them all out on the table to Edward was something I couldn't do yet.

Just as I began walking away, I felt a strong grip on my arm turning me around and was immediately met with those startling green eyes, but there was something different about the way they looked. Something was off. They continued to lack their usual sparkle. They were desperate and I could see that he was begging me not to go, not to do this to him or us.

"Please, Bella I am begging you. Don't walk away from me again. Don't walk away from us."

As much as I wanted to stay with him, I couldn't. I wasn't ready and it wouldn't be fair to him. He deserved the truth and I knew there was no way I was prepared to give that to him. What he said today in my office suddenly struck a nerve. I guess he had been right; I was playing God with our lives, and unfortunately I would be playing him a little while longer until I could figure all this out.

Looking up at him through my tear filled eyes, I quietly begged "Edward, please let me go. I can't do this right now, please. I don't deserve you."

Slowly his hand slid down my arm and I felt him reluctantly let me go. Turning around again, I started to walk away. I wanted so desperately to look back at him one last time, but I couldn't. If I did, there was no way on this earth that I would have had the strength to leave him again. Was walking away selfish? Without a doubt yes, but what he needed from me, I wasn't ready to give him.

Knowing that I needed to get out of here and fast, I began searching the crowd for Rose. Luckily, I didn't have to look long, as I found her standing with Emmett at the table with Alice and Jasper.

"Shit! I can't deal with Alice right now. What the hell am I going to do?" I silently asked myself.

Thinking quickly, I got my BlackBerry out of my purse and figured that a text would be the easiest way to get her attention.

_**Please Rose! Kissed Edward! Need to leave NOW! ~B**_

After hitting the "send" key, I quickly began making my way towards the exit. Before I was able to make it through the crowd, my phone vibrated in my hand.

_**Holy fuck, Bella! Meet me at the exit. Coming now, B. Keep it together! ~R**_

After receiving her return text, I managed to push through the crowd and made it outside of the exit on the seventh floor. I pushed the elevator button frantically needing to breathe in some cold, fresh air. I don't really remember how I managed to make it out of the building, because my entire world began to blur. Standing alone in the cold night air, I saw flickers of images from the past few minutes flash before my eyes quickly, almost as if I were in a dream. I tried to inhale deeply, desperately needing the feel of the cool air to settle my nerves. However when I tried, I found that I couldn't breathe. That all too familiar feeling came back to me, my chest was so tight, constricting like. Panic started to overcome me. I found myself gasping trying to take in as much air as possible, but it wasn't helping. My mind was screaming for me to find help or I was going to die. I opened my mouth but couldn't seem to speak. More gasping ensued. I was getting so lightheaded and dizzy, and I was afraid I was going to fall over or faint. Just as I felt my head spinning out of control, I was pulled into a bone crushing hug. At first I tensed up, thinking that Edward had come after me, but quickly realized this wasn't the case.

"Holy shit, Bella!" Emmett's voice was laced with concern as he took a step away from me and stared into my face. "Look at me Bells. You're going to be alright, do you hear me? I need you to breathe in slowly through your nose. Slowly, Bella. Then exhale through your mouth. Got it?"

I knew I should say something, anything, but words were escaping me at the moment. When he asked me his question, all I could muster was to slowly nod my head. I tried to concentrate on his voice and on following his orders. Emmett kept breathing along with me, coaching me and setting a slower pace. This seemed to be helping. The spinning in my head seemed to settle a little as the oxygen returned.

"Let's get you home, honey. Don't worry, B. I'm here for you, as long as you need me I'm here," Rose whispered quietly into my ear.

From there, the ride back to my condo was hazy at best. I vaguely remember Emmett calling a cab and placing me inside. I remember leaning my head onto the cool glass of the cab's window and the city lights simply looking like streaks of color flying by in the sky. I felt Rose softly rubbing my back telling me to breath and that it would all be ok, but to tell you the truth, I didn't know how anything would ever be okay again. I kissed Edward and when he begged me to stay; I told him that I didn't deserve him and walked away… again.

God, I'd made such a fucking mess of my life that I didn't know even where to begin to repair it. The only thing that I did know is that I needed to be alone. I needed to have the peace and quiet to figure this entire mess out. I needed to focus and get my thoughts in order because I knew that running away was no longer an option. I had wasted too much time ignoring my past but now, just like everyone warned me about; it was catching up with me. No, scratch that it already did catch up to me.

_So, B, what are you going to do? Are you going to curl up into a ball and hide or are you going to confront your demons head on?_

"Hey B," Emmett's soft voice broke into my thoughts "we're home. Let's get you upstairs. Do you need me to help you out?"

Giving him a weak smile, I shook my head and whispered "No thanks."

With all the strength I could muster, I pushed open the door of the cab, put one foot in front of the other, and forced my feet to meet the hard concrete of the ground. The night was frigid and windy and logically that meant I should have been cold, but I wasn't. I didn't feel anything. I was numb, both on the outside and inside.

Both Rose and Em followed me up to my condo. Emmett took his spare key and opened my door, shivering as the cool air hit him. He went immediately to the thermostat to adjust the temperature. I tossed my coat over the arm of the couch and plopped myself down into the corner.

"It's too damn late in the spring for this kind of weather. It feels like the dead of winter outside," Emmett announced as he walked back towards Rose and I.

Rose tried to busy herself my taking my coat and putting it away. Truthfully, I wished they would just leave, but I knew Rose would never go home until she knew I was okay. "What happened back their Bells, outside the club?" Rose asked quietly as she sat down tentatively beside me.

_Damn panic attacks_. I hadn't had a full blown one in years. Alice was the only one of my little group who was even aware of them happening in the past. Since I had been relatively attack free for years, I decided not to tell Em and Rose as it hadn't really seemed all that important.

"Panic attack," I answered matter-of-factly. "Would you guys mind if I just headed to bed? The attacks take a lot out of me."

Rose looked at me with a confused look on her face. I knew that it hurt her that I seemed to be pushing her away, but there was just so much I needed to sort through, and I couldn't do that with her hovering over me.

"Don't you take anything for those, Bella? A Valium or an Ativan or something? Maybe you should take something that will let you take the edge off and get some sleep," Rose probed.

I exhaled loudly realizing that my Xanax would probably do just that. I wanted to sort out all of these emotions in my brain, but I'd probably do better if I had good night's sleep and wasn't still a little bit drunk. "There's some Xanax in my bathroom vanity. I think a half a pill would be best, since I've been drinking," I relented.

Rose popped back off the couch scurrying to the kitchen for a glass of water and then towards my bathroom. Emmett continued to lean against the barstool at my kitchen counter. I knew he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the best way to ask me. Finally he sighed and pushed himself off the stool and headed over towards me. "Did you want to talk about anything, B? We're here for you, you know that, right? You can talk to us about anything, even if you think we won't understand. Even Edward," he added with a small smile on his lips.

Just then Rose came back in and I took the tablet and swallowed it with a long gulp of water. "Thanks Em, but I'm not really in the mood to talk right now, but soon, honestly" I said, meaning it. "Right now all I want to do is curl up in my nice, warm, comfortable bed and go to sleep."

Rose quickly added that she was willing to stay the night with me, but I turned her down. I really didn't want them here when I woke up. I knew I was going to want to do something I hadn't done in years and I wasn't ready for anyone else to see it. I could see the worry in Rose's face though and so I gave in and told her they could stay until I fell asleep. This seemed to appease both of them so I headed to my room to get changed and crawl into bed. Rose lay down in bed with me, gently rubbing my back. The soothing sensations helped to relax me and I was able to slip into a deep sleep rather quickly.

I awoke suddenly hours later, jolting upright in bed. I was dripping in sweat, my heart was racing and I was panting hard. I peered around the room and realized Em and Rose must have finally left. Glancing at the clock I saw it was a little after four o'clock am. My Xanax had probably worn off by now and my subconscious had allowed all of my worries and insecurities to creep right into my dreams.

_I was back in high school at La Push beach and it was the night of the graduation party. Once again, I saw Edward and Lauren together. At first, the vision overwhelmed me much like it did originally, but then something about the way Lauren smugly smirked at me, made me angry rather than afraid. Instead of running away this time, I marched my ass right on up to her demanding to know what was going on. She stammered out some sort of reply as I whipped the blanket off both of them. Edward was still dressed, jeans and belt still in place. I tried to demand an answer from him but he just laid there with his eyes closed. I bent down to give him a piece of my mind, when I realized he was completely passed out and reeking of alcohol. _

_My eyes shot to Lauren, glaring at her murderously. "What did you do?" I demanded of her. She shook her head nervously side to side. "Did you really think you could try to make me believe he'd ever cheat on me? And with you, of all people? Please Lauren, you're pathetic." _

_Obviously insulted, Lauren tried to redeem herself in front of the crowd that had gathered around us. She tilted her head, plastered on an innocent smile and feigned a roll of her eyes. "Whatever, Bella. I was just trying to play with you. You're really no fun. I have no idea what Edward sees in you anyway." She turned sharply on her heels and stalked off back towards the bonfire. _

_Collapsing on the ground, I sat staring at Edward. He looked so perfect, so innocent. I hesitantly reached to smooth out his rumpled hair and he moaned leaning in towards my touch. "Bella," he whispered, sighing contentedly as he curled himself around my form. He lifted his arm and tried to wrap it over my hips, pulling me closer towards him. That's when I heard it, the words I knew we both felt, but had never spoken. "I love you," rolled from his perfect lips. _

That's when I woke up. Somewhere deep down I've always known he'd loved me and I didn't know why I'd ever really had a doubt. Why had I let my insecurities take over that night? Why hadn't I gone over to Lauren and Edward demanding to know what was going on? Something about the way Edward had said in the office today that he couldn't remember anything about that night had been bothering me all day. Maybe he hadn't slept with her after all. Lauren had always been manipulative bitch, so maybe she just set the whole thing up. Of course, I had played right into her game. I had been too self-conscious to think I was worth anything, never wanting to believe that Edward could be satisfied with me, and of course those pregnancy hormones probably didn't help the situation. I walked away from everything that was important to me without even questioning him, or her for that matter. Maybe he slept with her, but maybe he didn't. I would never know the answer to that now. _Fuck._ The doubt had been planted in my brain and I would be stuck having to question this every day. Then it dawned on me, had I ruined my own life?

Every decision I had made throughout the past ten years hit me like a tons of bricks and gave me a brief moment of clarity. Everything was my fault. The devastated and lost look in Edward's eyes in my office and tonight... my fault. The complete sense of loss and heartbreak for us both... my fault. The inability to open up and forgive our mistakes... my fault. The time I spent pushing us farther and farther apart... my fault. It was entirely my fault. It was here that I realized the thing I had been running away from wasn't Edward or his love, but rather myself. After everything that I had done, I didn't feel worthy of him and because of this, I found it simply easier to blame him than myself.

Cue internal freak-out! Everything was crashing down on top of me now in gigantic waves. My head started spinning again. Shit, I really didn't want to have another panic attack, but something about this feeling was different. I didn't want to stop it. It was deserved. I had fucked up my own life, and I deserved this mental anguish. I almost welcomed it because if I was allowing it to happen, I was finally admitting my fault in everything. Instead of numb or indifferent, I was feeling the pain, anxiety, loss, guilt, and love. Normally, I would have run away from such feelings, but now I didn't want to. It was right then that I realized I needed to deal with the past head on, instead of letting it control my present.

I had let Edward, the love of my life, go without a fight. There was no dramatic breakup scene, no arguing, no crying, no begging--all things that should have been present. I ran away, child in womb, lying to myself and to him. And my mother, bless her soul, tried to talk me into doing the right thing, pleading me to reconsider. I would break him she said. He would never forgive me if I made this decision without him. Was she right? Would he ever be able to forgive me? At the time, it hadn't mattered; I figured I would never see him again anyway. But now that he was back in my life, did I have a choice? He had a right to know. He had every right to know that there was a piece of him and me walking, breathing, laughing, and living only fifteen miles from where he'd lived the past five years. What kind of a monster was I?

My hands threaded through my hair. "What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?" I chanted over and over into the cold emptiness of my room. And then the sobbing started. At first it was more of a whimper and then a choke, and finally the tears began raining down my face. My body shook uncontrollably as I tried to rock myself. I cried for all our mistakes, for all our lost time, for all our obvious buried feelings. I finally cried the way I should have years ago.

My shoulders trembled with the force of the throbs, but yet the weight on them started to ease. I was cleansing myself of all my heartache, my indecision, my doubts, my insecurities. This was my chance to let go of the past, once and for all. To go back to the beginning and see where it had all gone wrong so maybe, just maybe, we could begin healing together. I could make different decisions, learn to forgive and not judge, and most importantly, learn how to let someone in again, learn to love. Maybe that was my problem so many years ago. I simply didn't know how to love Edward because I never felt myself worthy of his love.

Determined, I threw my covers off and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I padded over the cold hardwood floors, wincing as I went to my closet. I found the light and moved towards the back of the small, overcrowded room. Sitting on my hands and knees, I began to dig through the numerous boxes of shoes covering the floor, until I found the one I was looking for. I held the extremely large and worn, knee-high boot box in my hands and stared at it, running my hands over it lovingly. It was the biggest shoe box I owned and therefore was perfect for the contents it housed. I had never shared the contents of this box with anyone, as it was for me and my eyes only. Even Jake never knew it existed, as he would have been heartbroken if he had ever found it.

Jake for all I loved him, husband or not, would never be more to me than a best friend, a soul mate. He was trustworthy and funny, lighthearted and kind. He was my light, but he could never truly brighten the darkness of what I had lost. Jake was a vacation, a welcome distraction, but he was never my home. He could _never_ be my Edward.

He was my home in every sense of the word. Edward was the one who I needed to come home to at night, he was the one I wanted to wake up with every morning, and he was the one I wanted to have a family with. It was him; it was always him. He was always _the_ one. He was my everything.

It's not as if this was some amazingly new revelation, because that was far from the truth. My heart had been trying to find my way back to him for the past ten years. While my head kept running, my heart was always searching for Edward. The problem was I never allowed my heart to guide me. If I had, I would be blissfully happy with the man of my dreams instead of the broken, sad girl I am right now. I was always too stubborn to face him and the mistakes we both made, which is why I chose to run. Obviously, the past catches up with you because today's meeting in my office was a painful reminder of everything I had spent the past years running from... the love, the hurt, and the broken trust. Hurt goes away, love can be found again, but once trust is broken, I don't know if it can ever be rebuilt.

I swallowed heavily, falling back more comfortably onto my butt, and slowly lifted the lid off the box. I exhaled loudly, as I peered inside where there were thousands of newspaper clippings, magazine articles, pictures and mementos of our past. _Christ, I looked like a stalker. _I fingered the dried, light blue flower corsage that he had given me for prom, then picked it up delicately and gently laid it off to the side. So many memories, both good and bad in this box, it was almost like a time machine. I'd kept every newspaper article and magazine print that featured him over the past ten years. Articles I had written for the high school paper, the local Forks Forum write-ups, internet print-outs of his USC days, write-ups in the Phoenix Post, his People Magazine 100 Most Beautiful mention and his numerous pictures over the years of the Most Eligible Bachelors edition, and of course, the most recent ones from the Chicago Tribune all lay sorted by date in this box. _I was truly obsessed and pathetic._

Mixed in with all of these articles were pictures. Some were taken of us together in high school, both of us were smiling brightly and the love between us was so obvious. Viewing these photos broke my heart even more. How was I not ever able to see it?

_Bella, because you didn't want to see it. Is it so hard to believe that love snuck up on you and it was the kind that lasts forever? Honey, when are you going to finally believe this?_

There were many of Edward playing ball on the Forks high field, some were action photos and some were just him in his uniform. I even had some of him playing professionally. I had taken a couple myself when I had gone to game down in Arizona years ago. Others were ones that I had bought over the internet from the Diamondback's webpage. I even had a few that were autographed by him. Of all the professional photos, those meant the most to me, as I knew that these pictures had once been touched by his hands.

There were a few mementos tucked deep into the box as well. The corsage was just one, but there were also small gifts and cards that Edward had given me in our short time together. I kept them under all the other stuff as it was just too painful to see some of those things again. I never could bring myself to read some of the beautiful words he had written to me in both the cards and letters. I wanted to, but I had always been too afraid to breakdown. I selected one at random today, knowing I needed this to heal. I slowly unfolded the beautiful parchment paper, chuckling to myself as I realized that he had probably stolen it from his mother's desk before he had written it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was to come.

Written in his own stunning script I read the note aloud, forcing myself to really hear the words and to remember Edward.

_For my Beautiful Girl,_

_So, I'm lying here in bed recounting everything we discussed tonight. I hate when we aren't talking, Baby. I can't sleep, if I don't hear your loving voice before I go to bed. My mind has been in overdrive, wandering all night and thinking of you. Thinking of everything I should have said to you. I'm so sorry about our little fight this evening. Sometimes I don't know what comes over me. I know I get irrational and jealous; I wish I could stop it, I really do. I've never had these types of emotions before. Everything I experience with you is so new and wonderful and quite honestly, overwhelming. I'm not so great with expressing my feelings to you and I know how important that is to our relationship, so I want to work on that for you. This will be my start. What I can't say to you in voice, I will try to write in words. _

_It's not easy for me to explain the importance you have had on my life. Perhaps you will think I am crazy, that it is all too much too soon, but you have a right to know how strongly I am affected by you. You brighten each day. You are my sun, my stars, and my moon. This probably doesn't make much sense, but I will try to explain it. Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars---points of light and reason ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. _

_When I am with you, my world seems lighter, brighter, more beautiful. I never want that feeling to end. Sometimes, I try to hold onto you too tightly. I'm sorry. I know it isn't your job to save me from myself, but you have. You've changed me in irrevocable ways. I adore you in more ways than you can even imagine. I thank my lucky stars every night that you came into my life. I know this isn't enough, but I hope it's a start._

_Yours Always, _

_Edward_

Tears streamed down my face as I finished the letter, folding it just right and slipping it back into the box. His beautiful words should have been enough. Why couldn't I trust them? I wanted to more than anything, but something always made me question why he would ever say those things to me. How could he feel so strongly? This is what I felt about him. I couldn't get rid of that voice telling me that he was mocking me, only saying the things he knew I wanted to hear. I don't know why I have this fear of abandonment and love or why I think I'm so undeserving, but it is there and severely deep rooted.

I fingered all of the notes forlornly, as I made my way to the bottom of the box. This is where I kept the most painful reminder of our love. My heart ached so severely just knowing what was at the bottom. The one gift, he had never known he gave me. The gift so precious and beautiful, that I had a hard time even looking at her.

Mackenzie Marie Masen was born on Wednesday, January 20th, 1999 at 8:04am. She was a healthy six pounds, eleven ounces and twenty-one inches long. Her hair was the same bronze shade of her father's and her eyes were a rich, chocolate brown like my own. She was perfect.

I lifted her birth certificate out of the box, running my finger over her name. I remembered holding her for the first time and how it broke my fragile heart in ways I can't even describe. She was everything we had always wanted, but everything we could never achieve. I knew immediately that I couldn't keep her. Hell, I could barely look at her. I needed him more that day then I'd ever needed him in my life, but he wasn't there. This was my fault entirely, which is why it hurt so much more. Instead of trusting him and our love, I chose to think the worst.

"Mackenzie, I hope you are able to love with all of your heart and know that you are worthy of this every day of your life," I quietly prayed. "Please, please never be afraid to let people in."

Both mine and Edward's names were listed on the birth certificate. Mackenzie had been purposely named with a piece of each of us. Marie was my middle name and now hers, and Masen was the only last name that seemed appropriate. He was her father and I never wanted to deny that. I knew her adoptive parents would most likely change her name, but I would always have this piece of paper to remind me of who she really was. Even if she wasn't physically with us, she would at least be with me in this small way. She would have a piece of me and Edward, and would always be ours, even if she never knew this.

I had known that I was too young to do this on my own. I had plenty of support that was willing to help me, but I didn't want to do it without him. I was too stubborn at the time to finally give in and call him. I wouldn't be able to stand the rejection if he blew me off, blew her off. Back then, I truly believed he had already rejected me, the night I saw him together with Lauren. I thought if he knew about Mackenzie, he would be angry. Why would he want or love anything that had been a product of what we had done together? And even if he did decide to be a part of our lives, I couldn't stand knowing he was only doing it out of obligation.

My mother and Phil were adamant about raising Mackenzie themselves. I knew Phil had always wanted another child of his own. He would have been an amazing father, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't live a lie, acting like my "sister" wasn't really my daughter. The whole scenario had just sort of made me feel sick inside. I knew one day she would find out, and she would be devastated. How could she ever forgive me for not being strong enough to tell her the truth and raise her myself? This wasn't an option I could live with. I knew this broke both my mother's and Phil's hearts, but this was ultimately my decision and they understood that.

Looking back, perhaps this decision had been made too hastily, but I had to believe it was the best decision I could have made for our daughter. She deserved a perfect life because she was perfect. She was deserving of a life with two responsible, loving parents who adored her and could give her the world. As much as I may have wanted to, I couldn't give her that dream. A private, closed-adoption was finalized for Mackenzie three days after her birth. My mother had known of a couple she worked with that had been trying for some time to adopt. Unfortunately, they had gone through a few letdowns with agencies they had enrolled in. Peter and Charlotte were a wonderful couple and I knew they would love my child just as much as I would have. I had to trust my instincts here and I knew the best way for me to love her was to let her go. Being a parent isn't always simple. It's about putting yourself behind the needs of your child and doing what is right, not easy. Was letting the one perfect thing in my universe go easy? Absolutely not. In all honesty, it was more painful than losing Edward, but it was, without a doubt, what was right for her. Though I had been selfish in running away, I was able to stop long enough and focus on what was right for Mackenzie and this, in the end, was the most selfless act I could ever carry out.

Tears silently slid down my face in a bittersweet symphony as I lifted the few photographs I had of our daughter.

_Bella, do you realize that this is the first time you have ever called her "our" daughter? _

The emotions were practically choking me, as I tried to hold it back. She was so little, so precious, so beautiful, so perfect, and so... us. The most perfect combination of Edward and I, molded into this little being. I forced a smile onto my face, lifting my index finger to my lips, before gently kissing it and touching the photo. I wiped the tears away with the heel of hand and then carefully slid the photos back into their resting place.

I was just about to put the top back on the box, when I heard the closet door creak behind me. Startled, I tensed up as my tear-streaked face whipped around towards the sound. Alice stood leaning on the door frame, coffees in hand, with tears glistening in her eyes. I should have probably been mad that she had just let herself into my home, but I was really too emotionally drained to make too much of it.

"You scared me, Ali. What are you doing here? What time is it?" I hoarsely asked as I tried to get myself together.

Alice bit her lower lip, allowing her tears to slowly run down her face. "She's so unbelievably beautiful, Bella. Why haven't you ever shown me any of those?" she asked completely ignoring my earlier questions.

I blinked to try and hold back the tears, but Alice and I had a kindred relationship; she always seemed to know what I needed. I didn't know why she was there in my closet at that moment, but I should have known she would be. She had never let me down. Always seeming to sense what was coming, like a sixth sense. I'm not gonna lie, it was both creepy and wonderful all at the same time, but that was just us. Ali set the coffees down on the floor and walked quickly towards me, dropping to her knees and embracing me in a hug. I must have needed her touch more than I knew, because the moment she embraced me, I hugged her fiercely back and began to cry again. We sat that way for an immeasurable amount of time, Alice rocking me in comfort while stroking my back and my hair while I was clinging to her for dear life.

When the tears had finally dried out I thanked her quietly and she kissed me on my temple. "I love you, B. I'm always here for you, anytime you need me. You are my family, my best friend, and I would do anything for you. I wish you felt like you could talk to me. I want to be here for you, like you have always been there for me. Please let me," she beseeched.

I smiled at my tiny cousin, seeing the sincerity in her eyes and knew today was the day that I would finally let her in. For years, I had been trying to do this all on my own, but last night and this morning brought to the forefront that this tactic wasn't really working. I was beyond broken and needed help in working through the layers of mess I had created. If I ever wanted to move on with Edward or anyone else, I first needed to fix myself and this was as good a time as any to start healing. I knew this wasn't going to be easy; Rome wasn't built in a day you know, but rather through slow and patient steps. Patience... well that has never been my strong point to say the least. Peeling away the many layers was simply something that I needed to take one step at a time and I could feel as if this process was already beginning.

"I brought you cupcakes, your favorite," Alice added trying to bribe me into talking to her.

I smiled up at her and chuckled lightly, as that little shit was pulling out the big guns. She knew I couldn't resist cupcakes, as they were always my favorite. "Where in the world did you get cupcakes at this hour, Ali? What time is it anyway?" I asked trying to peer out into my room to see the bedside clock. It was only seven-thirty am.

"Okay, so don't laugh," she said giving me a stern look. I nodded to assuage her. "So I couldn't sleep last night, after everything that happened at NV. First, let me say, that I hope you know I would never pick Edward over you. Had I known you were going out, I would have gladly accompanied you and Rose. I figured maybe you just wanted some time alone, since I hadn't heard from you after the game."

I had to interrupt her. I really didn't want to dredge all this up. Truthfully, I had never been mad at her. I know Rose had been upset, but I knew Ali, and I would never ask her to choose between me and her boyfriend. Unfortunately, Edward and Jasper were sort of a packaged deal. On the flip-side though, Alice was able to get intimate details from Edward, and I knew she had both of our best intentions in mind. "Please don't apologize, Ali. I know and I completely understand. You are allowed to be friends with both of us. I'd never begrudge you that."

She smiled meekly in appreciation and then continued. "I'm not sure you want to hear this, but Edward was sort of a mess after you left. Jazz and I brought him back to his place, but we decided to stay. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but apparently Edward has had some problems with depression. Jasper was afraid to leave him." She looked deeply into my eyes, awaiting recognition. I nodded once, hoping she would continue.

I felt guilty knowing these intimate details about him, things he most likely would be too embarrassed for me to know. Especially, as I doubted Alice would be giving him the same type of detailed information about me. But I won't lie, I craved it. I so desperately wanted to be closer to him, to know him. Understanding that he was just as hurt and broken as me gave me some solace, however wrong it might be. I didn't want to see him in pain, but it was comforting knowing that we were both going through the same thing.

"Did you know Edward talks in his sleep?" Alice asked. I did, but I preferred to deny it, just in case she went back to Edward about any of this. Fortunately, she continued without waiting for my reply. "Well anyway, he does. He yells and whimpers, and Bella I have to be honest. It is heart-wrenching. I sat in his bed with him most of the night trying to comfort his nightmares. He really loves you, B. I know you two have so much to get past, but the love you both have, well it's obvious."

"I know, Ali. I want to get there. I mean... I at least want to learn to be his friend again, if nothing else. What we have now isn't healthy for either of us. It's just... well; I need to work through some of my own problems first. I need to recognize my own issues, before I can really address the issues between Edward and me. You know?" I asked chewing on my lower lip nervously.

Alice got up off the floor, pulling me up with her. "I know. I want to fix both of you. But first, cupcakes," she said smiling brightly. Alice practically skipped out towards the kitchen as I followed. She pushed a box towards me containing half a dozen of cupcakes from The Bent Fork Bakery.

"This bakery is in Highwood, isn't it?" I asked confused. Alice nodded happily, practically bouncing out of her seat. "That's like thirty minutes out of the city, Ali. What time did you get there?"

Her eyes sparkled in mischief and I wondered if I even wanted to know what she had done. "I got there at like a quarter to seven," she began. My eyes narrowed in confusion, knowing there was no way the bakery was opened at that hour. "It was closed, but I saw one of the bakers inside. So I started pounding on the door." Her smile brightened as I groaned and rolled my eyes. "So anyway, the owner comes to the door saying they don't open until nine, but I pleaded with her telling her it was an emergency and that her cupcakes were the only thing that would fix the situation. It took a little bit of begging, but eventually she relented and I got three freshly baked carrot cake cupcakes and three raspberry butter cream cupcakes." She finished the story with a small fan girl squeal and I couldn't help but laugh. At times, this girl can be out of her fucking mind and I love that about her!

"You're too much Alice, I swear," I said as I bit into the heavenly carrot cake flavored delight. They were without a doubt my favorite, and I did truly appreciate the effort she put in.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, while I savored my few moments of bliss. When I finished my cupcake, I wiped a few stray crumbs off my lips and settled in for a long discussion. I wanted to initiate the conversation, so she knew she wasn't forcing me into anything. Truthfully, I wanted this. I wanted more than anything to heal and to grow, both for myself and for Edward.

"I'll be right back," I announced sliding off my stool and heading back into the bedroom. I gingerly picked up the box, cradling it in my arms as I brought it back out to the main rooms. I set it down on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch motioning for Alice to join me.

I spoke slowly, tentatively not sure how this would be received. "So I've never shown this to anyone before. Not just because it is so private and heartbreaking to me, but also because...well, it looks a little stalkerish. I don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy."

_Bella my sweet! You are a tad crazy, which is one of the reasons you have an "Edward Box" my love. No worries, though, as it is a tad sweet too._

Alice smiled reassuringly, and started to sort through the box, careful not to mess up the order I had it arranged in. She was quiet, not asking any questions. I watched her face closely as moments of surprise, sadness, pain, joy, and confusion flickered across her face. Tears escaped her eyes when she noticed some of the writings and cards and of course when she looked at all the pictures. When I saw her holding the picture of Mackenzie, a few tears escaped my eyes as well. "I'm sorry I never showed you any of those pictures, Alice. You were a great support system for me through the entire ordeal. I shouldn't have shut you out like I did afterwards," I apologized.

Being the wonderful person that she was, Alice simply brushed it off. She looked at the photo once more before putting it back in its resting place. "So tell me, how do we fix all this, B? How do we fix you?" she added bluntly.

I chuckled darkly, but opened up and told her all about my fears, my indecisions, my guilt, and my self-doubts. We drank coffee and finished the cupcakes as we sat and talked for hours. Just admitting these secrets to someone, other than myself, made me feel better, stronger.

Alice left around noon so I could begin to get ready for work. We had decided on a plan, "Operation Fix Bella," as she decided to call it and yes, she even used her fingers as quotation marks when saying the name. I'm telling you, this girl's a mess from time to time. True to form, I had grumbled about the name, but this was Alice and once she made her mind up, there was no changing it. We concurred the baby steps would be necessary for me, trying to move too fast would only scare me back into my defensive mode. There was a multitude of things for me to sort through and she agreed that we could talk together daily to maneuver through the mess, which let's face it is monumental. There were issues that could only be dealt with by talking to my mom and some that could only be handled by Edward, but at least there was now a plan in place.

It scared me to know that every time I broached a new subject, it would be like tearing open a jagged scar. All these wounds I had incurred over the years had healed so imperfectly, as I never took the time to inspect them and cleanse them properly, simply opting to haphazardly bandage them and hope for the best. These scars were not pretty and a skilled surgeon was probably going to be necessary to fix all the damage. Well, a surgeon or a damn good shrink.

Placing the box next to my bed was the first step. I could no longer hide from these feelings and memories, so it was not going back to the depths of my closet. Each day I was going to try and face a little of it at a time. Whether that meant reading a card or letter, examining a picture, or seriously considering the real reason I was keeping all of these newspaper clippings, something would be done every day. For now, I decided it was best to keep this between Alice and I as we both knew Rosalie would not be much help to me right now. While I loved her dearly, through my discussion with Ali, I realized how much she coddled me. Always telling me what I wanted to hear, not necessarily what I needed to hear. I knew there would be times that I inevitably would breakdown and reach out to Rose during this process, for self-preservation reasons, but I was going to try and trust both Ali and myself to get through this the right way, even if it was hard.

I jumped quickly into the shower letting the warm water relax me in ways I haven't felt in years. Though I was a long way from being healed, I already felt lighter and freer. I dressed simply in a pair of dark jeans, a light-weight emerald-green v-neck sweater, and my absolute favorite camel colored Burberry knee-length trench coat. When satisfied with my ensemble for the day, I grabbed my purse, keys to the Cayenne and headed towards the stadium. I wanted to get in a few hours of work and secretly hoped I might be able to speak with Edward alone. I had no idea what I was planning on telling him, but it felt right to speak to him again. I was nowhere near as on edge as I had been yesterday when we spoke, in fact quite the opposite actually. I felt ready to let him in, even if it were only a little at a time. Baby steps worked for Bill Murray in "What About Bob" and I was rather confident they would eventually work for me.

So, with this "Operation Fix Bella" plan freshly in my mind, I figured it was time to face the day and get this show on the road. Due to the fact that I am not patient by nature, I knew it was going to take a great deal of thinking about the entire situation for me to "stay the course" so to speak. While this wasn't going to be easy, I also knew it was necessary in order for all of us to heal and move on with our lives.

_I wonder if this overall sense of cluelessness was felt by Christopher Columbus when he was hoping to discover the New World._

While driving to the stadium, I was amazed at how different everything looked to me. Sure, the city was still crowded with people and traffic, but such images were no longer hazy instead looking clear for the first time in years. While running from the past, I never really opened my eyes to the present and sure as hell never gave in-depth thought to the future. Because of this, I was letting life pass me by in ways I never really thought about until now. It was odd, but at the moment of such a revelation, the sun began peeking out from the typical April cloud cover. Although not superstitious by any stretch of the imagination, it was almost as if this little change in nature was there to act as a sign and give me the confidence boost needed to face the day head on.

"Baby steps to the office, Bella. Baby steps to the office," I continued chanting to myself as I pulled into the stadium parking garage and parked in my designated space.

After locking up the Cheyenne, I walked into the stadium and began the elevator ride up to my office. Although I was chanting "baby step" to myself the entire way, it was still scary as hell knowing that I was about to begin the daunting task of sorting out and working on everything that needed to be fixed for myself, Edward, and everyone else around us. I could make business deals and play with the big boys just as well as anyone in the league; truthfully such actions could be made in my sleep. I took the saying "It's not personal, it's business" entirely too far. Instead of dealing with the personal, I simply ignored it in favor of the business. My actions and decisions haven't been easy on anyone in my life and for the first time, I was accepting the responsibility of this. I didn't understand the magnitude of how much one person could impact those around them, but the past twenty-four hours have brought this realization into clear sight. In no way did I ever want to be the type of person how has everyone's lives revolve around them, but by continuously running from the truth, this was exactly what had occurred.

_Good, Bella, good. Admitting it is the first step, so now you can continue with your baby steps. Carry on!_

As I watched the elevator doors open and I began the walk towards my office, I took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled out as I knew it was now or never. Although there was a part of me that wanted to crawl back into the safety of my bed, there was another part of me that simply wanted to get this whole mess cleared up and start to truly live. No matter the outcome, I had to believe that Edward and I would be stronger, more whole from it, so we could carry on with the rest of our lives the way they were meant to be.

"Good afternoon, Bella. How are you doing today, sweetheart?" Tanya inquired in a loving fashion.

In that moment, I realized how immensely grateful for her I was. Not only was she ridiculously organized and a great personal secretary to myself, but she always seemed to know what I needed. Instead of hitting me with twenty questions about the conversation she heard yesterday between Edward and me, she simply chose to ignore it and act professionally as if today was business as usual. While some would not see the significance in such a simple act, to me it meant the world. Tanya was loyal, understanding, and nonjudgmental which are three qualities I desperately needed those around me to possess right now.

Feeling a slight smile spread across my face, I simply stated "Good afternoon to you as well. I'm doing well, thanks."

And with that, I looked straight into her crystal-clear blue eyes and gave her a silent "thanks." Even though I verbally uttered the word, this was not what my eyes were attempting to convey. I was thanking her for her understanding of the situation. I was thanking her for being able to look past my actions throughout the time she has known me. I was thanking her for caring about me as a person, not just as her boss. Most importantly, I was thanking her for all of the times that I should have and didn't.

With a slight nod of her head, she then declared that my Thursday schedule was rather light in nature. Feeling an immediate relief, Tanya went onto explain that it only consisted of looking over and signing a few contracts with venders, as well as reviewing the attendance numbers and player stats from yesterday's home opener. All of these actions were rather straight forward and would be a great way to get into the routine of "baby steps."

After giving her a quick and heartfelt thank you, I quietly walked into my office, shut the large mahogany door, and walked over to my window. I wanted to see the city and feel its energy. I wanted to look down into the streets and really see, not_ look_, but _see _what it was like when a person was part of the world not just simply existing in it. I needed to be this type of person and knew today was a baby step in this direction. So, with this resolve in mind, I quickly took off my coat and began getting to work. Tanya was right; the load she previously laid out on my desk took only a few hours to dissect. The contracts were standard and boiler-plate, thus requiring little examination at all and the attendance numbers from yesterday's game were near our 41,118 maximum capacity figure. When combined with the overall stellar job the players and coaching staff demonstrated yesterday, I was one happy owner. Hopefully, this great start would carry the team throughout the rest of the season and we could finally bring the first World Series Championship, since 1908, back to the Windy City.

Feeling energized by yesterday's opening numbers and the fact that it really was a beautiful spring day in Chicago; I decided that I needed to take a walk around the stadium. Grabbing my coat, I exited my office and rode the elevator down to the field. Once stepping a foot into the stadium, I felt an overall sense of peace. While I love the vigor it has when the stadium is filled with an enthusiastic crowd, I also love the simplistic beauty of the lush green field. The smell of the grass and the overall memories and feelings that surface from my childhood instantly bring a smile to face. It helps me to focus on the smaller things in life and brings me a sense of much needed balance. I am able to take a step back from the business aspect of the game and truly focus on the fact that it was just that, a game. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose, but at the end of the day these weren't the stats that mattered. What mattered was that each person on the field and in the crowd was simply there for the love of the game and the overall joy it brings. The simple stuff was what made life worth living.

By the time I came to this epiphany, which by the way I was having entirely too many today, I eventually found myself down on the field sitting behind home plate. To tell you the truth, I honestly didn't remember wondering down there until my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the day's batting practice. After shaking my head in attempts to enter back into reality, my eyes immediately searched the field for Edward. As with everything between us, it didn't take long because if felt as if my eyes were magnetically drawn to him. God must have been smiling down on me at the moment with a chorus of angels singing, because my first sight of Edward wasn't on his beautiful eyes, but rather his equally fine-looking backside.

_Fuck me! That boy has an ass you could bounce quarters off of. It should be illegal for someone to look so damn yummy. Simmer down there Bella!_

Knowing now was not the time to get all worked up about Edward's perfect ass, which was actually much more difficult than it should be, I quickly stood up and decided that today was a good day to mingle with the boys on the field. Yes I call them boys because it doesn't matter their age, they always act like boys. That aside, talking with them is something I commonly did throughout the year, so no one would really be fazed by it. Well, no one except Edward. Today was a day for baby steps and fixing what was broken between us, so I figured that having a brief chat would be a good first encounter for us to have. Hopefully there wouldn't be all sorts of crazy weird tension between us after last night's kiss. Would we be a little awkward around each other? That goes without saying, but I also hoped we would be able to put such insecurities aside and get to know one another again. Once upon a time, he was one of my best friends, and while I hate to admit it, I really have been lost without him.

Knowing that it was now or never, I began the walk onto the field by entering from the visitor's dugout located on the first base line. Although I have made this walk more times than I can remember, today was different. Instead of walking onto the field as the owner who wanted to talk to her players, I was in search of the one person who had my heart. I was searching for the one person who was able to look into my eyes and read me like an open book or make my heart skip a beat by the sheer flash of his crooked smile. I was searching for the boy who wrote me those beautiful letters so many years ago, and who I now could see loved me beyond all definable reason. I was searching for my Edward.

After congratulating our manager, Lou and assistant manager, Ivan DeJesus once again on yesterday's nicely played game, I turned my head nonchalantly, making eye contact with those piercing green eyes I so adored. With the butterfly effect full on in my stomach, I continued my meandering throughout the field, all the while feeling his intense gaze focused on my every move. While I wanted to walk directly up to Edward, I knew I needed to be a little more discreet in my actions, which meant talking to a few other players along the way. In an attempt of acting like the "normal" Bella the team knew, I stopped and chatted with our left fielder, Sam Fuld, about the amazing catch he made at the top of the second inning and our first baseman, Derrek Lee, about his double play throw to second base during fifth. Satisfied with my actions, I knew now was the time to talk with Edward. I mean, he _was _the newest player on the team and I wouldn't be a good owner if I didn't see how he was doing, right?

Reminding myself of my new motto "baby steps," I slowly walked towards him. Although he had turned his body to the side and was talking with a few other players, I could still feel him watching me out of the corner of his eye. The closer I got to him, the more my heart rate increased and the faster the damn butterflies in my stomach began to flutter. It was amazing after all of these years how this man's sheer presence could consume me so fully. I doubt if he knew it, but it took all the strength I could muster to not become putty in his large, strong hands. Last night, he melted me with his touch and I knew that if he were to repeat such an act on this field, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from melting into him once again.

Just as I was about to approach Edward, guess who miraculously appeared in my path. I'd give you one guess, but I don't think it would be necessary because it was none other than the infamous Mike Newton. Go fucking figure that this would be the one person getting, yet again, in my path to Edward. Did he have like Bella radar or something?

Walking up to me with his usual cocky swagger, he smugly asked "How was your night last night, Bella?"

Once Mike's words left his big mouth, I saw Edward's body quickly spin away from the group he was talking to. What I saw were actions I remembered all too well. His body went rigid, his eyes changed to an almost black color, and fist were clinched to his sides. Yep, Edward was pissed. I guess some things never change, and I knew that I needed to defuse the situation before Edward stepped in.

Having years of experience with boys like Newton, I knew that the best way to wipe that shit eating grin off his face would be to act as clueless as possible about the question. Wanting to get away from him, I quickly looked around him and into Edward's eyes, giving my head a slight shake indicating that there wasn't a problem. Looking back at Mike, I sweetly said "Why yes, I did Mike, thanks for asking." I'm not sure what he was expecting, but he seemed a little off guard by my comment, so I added "I think it's your turn up for batting practice."

_Mission completed. I sank Mike Newton's battle ship!_

Mike looked over to coach and saw he was indeed next up, so he started walking away towards home plate while I continued my walk towards Edward. Just as a new level of anxiousness began to overtake my body, I also felt a sense of coming home. As the distance between us began to close, I was overcome with the natural reaction to turn and run away. I did it ten years ago and I did it last night, but I knew that was no longer an option for me. Running away is what created this entire debacle in the first place and I'll be damned if I let that fear run my life anymore. Still reminding myself of baby steps, I took my last step towards the only guy I had ever loved. We were face to face, staring into each other's eyes, and it was so staggering how much of a pull we still had towards one another. This gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, we weren't only meant to be in one another's past, but also present and future. Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, I saw his eyes quickly shift off of mine and to something behind me. Hating to be in the dark, I quickly turned my head around and was met by Mike Newton staring daggers at us. Remember what I said about all men being boys? Mike Newton was the perfect example of why this was so. I knew eventually he would need to be dealt with, but now was not that time. This moment was about Edward and me. About reconnecting with one another and repairing the damage between us.

Knowing that I needed to calm Edward down quickly, my body went into auto pilot. I raised my hand and lightly placed it onto his upper arm, which immediately got his attention. Once his eyes returned to mine, I knew the only way to get him to focus would be to reassure him that everything was fine.

"Edward," I calmly and quietly affirmed "it's fine, really. Mike just likes to run his mouth to get a rise out of people. Please, for me, ignore him."

He sighed, not necessarily wanting to give in so easily, but I could see and feel his body begin to relax. Still staring into my eyes, he gave me a slow nod letting me know that he understood what I was saying. Once I could see that he had his thoughts together, I slowly removed my hand from his arm and placed it down at my side. With our eyes still locked, I began opening my mouth to initiate our conversation, but Edward beat me to the punch.

"Bella," his velvety voice crooned, "Are you alright? With everything that happened last night, I need to know if you are alright."

Once the words were spoken, I could clearly tell his heart was breaking and it, once again, was my doing. His voice had an air of pleading to it that broke my heart and his eyes looked as if they were searching for something, but were coming up short. Wanting to make this look go away, I knew I needed to say something and quickly, but I was coming up at a loss for what that should be. So, I decided to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and jump in with both feet. I knew what needed to be done... we needed to sit down and talk. Not talk like the disaster in my office yesterday, but actually _talk _to each other, listen to the one another, and get to know who the other person is now. I exhaled slowly, opening my eyes once again and looked directly into the face of the man who would always be my reason for living.

"Edward," I tentatively began in a hushed voice, "I know yesterday's meeting between us didn't go very well. Please know, that I am sorrier for my actions than you can ever imagine. I can't imagine what you are thinking at this moment or about me, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know. So, I was wondering if you would like to meet tonight for coffee?"

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**A/N: So we are very interested in knowing what you thought of Bella's revelations. Next chapter will be from Edward's POV again starting from what happened after Bella left him at the club.**

**We have a couple of announcements to bring to your attention today.**

**--First, as mentioned above, we now have a Twilighted Forum page. We look forward to chatting with you all on there and it will also be used to release chapter teasers. The link is listed below. Just replace the (Dots) with a period. www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=7190**

**--Fandom Gives Back: We will be participating in the Fandom Gives Back Auction benefitting Childhood Cancer. We are offering (2) one-shots of 5,000 words for $50 each. The one shots can be related to The Hot Corner or to the Dolly Does Burlesque story. These are both first come first serve. I urge you to participate in this event. You can go to the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation site for more information on the charity. This is for an amazing cause and the money will be tax deductible, so please remember to check it out. The event will run from November 15th-20th (New Moon week). In addition to one-shots by many many authors, there will also be gift baskets, movie tickets, Twilight merchandise, pictures and banners available. The link to our forum is:**

**http://thefandomgivesback(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgiboard=fic&action=display&thread=125**

**Story Recommendations:**

**D Pattinson: I had a hard time picking one for this week as I have read several really good story updates recently, so I'm going to submit two. _Hydraulic Level 5__ by Gondolier_. I love this story and the author. The story is extremely well written. It has been around for awhile, but just in case you haven't heard of it, I definitely suggest checking it out. It is up for a Sparkle Award for best Angst. My second rec is for _The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud_. This story is very smart and mysterious and I love a dark Edward. It's only eleven chapters in, so I would definitely recommend jumping on the train now.**

**LZTZ: _The Muse in the Attic by meadows82_****. This is a brand new story that is definitely worth checking out, so you will be able to read it from the "ground floor" so to speak. While I am a tad partial, due to the that I have the honor of beta'ing this story, that is not the only reason why I am recommending it. This story story is a fun twist on the characters of Edward and Bella, as it is a mystery/supernatural/romance all wrapped up into one. Although the prologue is the only chapter posted, this author and story has some amazing twists and turns in store for the audience. Totes check it out!**

**For other great story recommendations, please see our THC blog page. The link is on our profiles. You can also check out _The Southern Fan Fiction Review_ blog by ssherrill115. She writes wonderful reviews of several stories each week.**

**Also, there are story pictures posted on our profile and blog site from this chapter. Just to let you know.**


	11. Patience

**Author's Note: Hello to all our new readers! Thanks for joining us on this ride.**

**Special Thanks to snshyne for purchasing a one-shot of THC to benefit the Fandom Gives Back auction. Once she has gotten a chance to read her special chapter I will post it. You may want to author alert us as we will be posting some outtakes in the future.**

**Thank you to shaelove for betaing this chapter and to refolin for previewing it and giving me lots to think about. We couldn't do this without you girls.**

******Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

****Please make sure you read the end A/N for special announcement.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 11- Patience**

**Song Selections****:**

"_**What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts**_

"_**Maybe It's Me" by Ingram Hill**_

"_**If Your Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield**_

"_**Wait for You" by Elliot Yamin**_

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****Edward's POV****

_Had she really just slapped me?_ I thought to myself while rubbing my left cheek.

I suppose I probably deserved it. It wasn't like I asked for her permission before kissing her, but it really seemed like she was enjoying it. Honestly, I wouldn't have pushed so hard if I had thought it would turn out badly. Watching her dancing with Mike was making me sick to my stomach. The liquid courage was bubbling to the surface and I found myself inexplicably drawn to her mouth. Dear Lord, how I loved her mouth. Even though she had a nasty little habit of chewing on her damn bottom lip when she was nervous, they were always soft and warm. When we kissed, they always made me feel complete, made me feel at home. Our lips always fit perfectly together and because of this, I couldn't stop kissing them, nor did I want to. She needed to feel the emotions I still had for her because let's face it, words were not getting us anywhere, but rather moving us in the absolute fucking wrong direction. Case in point, our disastrous meeting this afternoon. Holy shit!

My inner thoughts were interrupted by an argument that seemed to be taking place between Bella and Newton. God, I hated that motherfucker! Her full fury seemed to be turned towards him, which was making no damn sense as she had slapped me, not him. Bella was yelling something about not needing him to be her knight in shining armor or her hero, _Thank God for that, _but the entire situation was still baffling me into a complete trance. This confusion really shouldn't have surprised me though, because nothing about this day, meeting her, seeing her, arguing with her, or feeling her lips against mine after all of the years was making any damn sense.

_Edward, get your shit together bro. It's Bella we're talking about here so why the hell would it make any sense at all? Honestly, guy._

Once again lost in my own Bella and alcohol induced train of thought, I heard the words that finally made me come back to the here and now. Bella had walked towards me and was now standing on her tiptoes as close to my ear as she could reach. "Edward," she said in a voice barely above a whisper "I am so sorry. Please believe me. That slap was meant for Mike, never for you."

Well, fuck. That made more sense now. I tried to reach out and pull her towards me once again because I was like an addict. I needed to feel her, touch her, and kiss her to really know that she was real. I needed to feel complete and I knew that she was the only way for me to feel this.

_I need, I need, I need. Dipshit, you're one needy bastard aren't you?_

So, just like a person in need of his drug of choice, now that I had a taste of what I was missing, there was no way I could let that go again. Yep, typical addict right here. She started moving slowly back towards me, the moment of bliss returning, but as quick as it started it was suddenly halted. Apparently I could never catch a break with this girl and that literally broke my heart again. Even though we had been apart for far too long, I could still read her like a book. Her eyes were sad and lonely and her body seemed to be incurring the wrath of her over-analytical brain. It appeared as if her head and heart were in a constant struggle with one another and, at the moment, it seemed as if her head was winning because I saw her straining to back away. This, in turn, was only fueling the confusion running rampant in my brain. The whole episode turning into one big contradiction, which shouldn't have surprised me in the slightest because nothing between Bella and I was ever simple. The past few minutes stood as a perfect example of the perplexity of our current predicament. Bella was into the kiss, then I was slapped, then she admits the slap wasn't for me, but when I try to bring her back to me once more, she pulls away from me again like I have some strange flesh eating disease. Women were so damn confusing, when really nothing between us needed to be confusing at all. As to why they can't get straight to the point and stop taking fucking detours and shit to end up at the same place, is beyond me.

As baffled as I was though, I also was absolutely positive regarding the fact that I couldn't let her get away again. I made that mistake so many years ago and look where it landed me… standing in a bar in front of the girl who always held my heart in the palm of her delicate little hands, confused and scared as fuck that this would be the last time I ever saw her beautiful brown eyes. It would rip my heart out if she left like this, and to be fair, she was way too good at hiding, like stealthy I could work for the secret service as a foreign operative, good at hiding. Because of this, I didn't know if I'd ever be able to find her again. She had literally been right under my nose for the past six years and I never saw her, so I was rather confident that if she wanted to hide, she could disappear forever. To me, this wasn't an option. I had been living as a shell of a man for far too long, and I'd be damned if I left Bella, the one person who really made my life worth living, go that easily.

Feeling my time with her slipping faster away by the second, I pleaded "Bella, come here baby. Please don't walk away. _Please_."

At that moment, I saw her eyes fill with tears and caught a glimpse of exactly how deep the pain in her was rooted. Her beautiful soul and feisty, yet gentle spirit was so broken, which was such a shame, because she deserved more than this. She deserved to be loved and cherished and made to feel wanted. She deserved to come home to someone every night and wake up with that person every morning. She deserved to feel as if she was taken care of and safe. She deserved to be forgiven for her past and find acceptance of her mistakes. She deserved the world. Deep down inside I knew that she wanted those very things with me, but was too scared to admit it to anyone. Bella, the girl I would move heaven and earth for, looked at me as if she was unworthy of my love. This small, yet gigantic wave of pain in her eyes quickened the pace at which my heart continued to fracture. _God, please don't let this be it._

"I can't do this right now, Edward. I can't. It's simply too much," she quietly stated before turning and starting to walk away.

I grabbed her arm, effectively turning her back towards me. I knew this certainly wasn't the time or place to be having a conversation about our past and hopefully our future, but I just couldn't stop myself. She was asking for time and space, but we had already had so much lost time and useless space that there was no god-dammed way I could do it again. If I gave her the space she was inadvertently asking for, she would run and if she ran, I didn't know if I could catch or ever find her. I was truly a desperate man. I didn't want to live another moment of my life without her and knew that I would never survive if she were to vanish. I had been barely holding on as it was, but if she left, if she disappeared from me again, I knew without a doubt that I would crumble. I'd do anything to get her back, including beg.

"Please, Bella I am begging you. Don't walk away from me again. Don't walk away from us."

Still seeing the war raging in the depths of her eyes, her emotions continued pulling her in every different direction imaginable. When they finally focused, I knew it was too late. Tears were streaming down her face and I could feel her slipping away from me emotionally. I wanted to hold her tight within my arms and say all of the things that I should have ten years ago, but I wasn't able to formulate the words. I knew what it felt like to lose her, and because of this I was ready to fight for her and express in whatever means possible that there was never anyone that I could love besides her, but her eyes became painstakingly broken, distant and I knew, right then and there, they were telling me I never would have this chance. My heart stilled as I waited for her to tell me goodbye for the final time. For her to leave me shattered into so many pieces that I would never be able to be put back together.

"Edward," she pleaded so painfully that I could feel it breaking her own fragile heart "please let me go. I can't do this right now, please. I don't deserve you."

Throwing my own walls up around me, so I wouldn't cry myself, I let my hand slowly drop down her arm. She paused for just the slightest of moments, looking as if she were debating on whether to stay with me after all, but this was sadly not meant to be. Feeling the air leave my chest and my world blacking out, I watched her walk away. Even though I knew I needed to move, my feet simply wouldn't allow it. Instead, I watched her make her way through the crowd to the exit and disappear into the cool, night air. I hoped to all that was holy that I would see her again, find a way to get back what we had, and have our futures together, but knew this was unlikely. That realization, that one moment of clarity, is what broke me beyond belief.

Both of my hands tangled into my hair as I tried to get a grip on what had just happened. So many regrets, so many lost chances to tell her how I really felt in the past. I had so much to tell her now, but once again history was repeating itself. I felt like the lost eighteen year-old boy all those years ago, because now just as then, I had let her go without her knowing how much I truly loved her. Had we really never shared those words with each other? It was always implied how deep our love for one another was, as everyone could see it immediately, but it was still difficult to believe that those three simple words were never exchanged between us. If they were, would the outcome of our future together been different? Would she have known without a shadow of a doubt that was my entire being and reason I was created was because of her? I would trade anything to have one more chance with her, one more opportunity to look into the most beautiful brown eyes I would ever see and confess exactly what she meant to me. To tell her how her smile makes my day and how the blush in her cheeks takes my breath away. How she was my very first thought in the morning and the person I wish a good night to before I close my weary eyes. How she was my reason for living and the only person I have ever loved. If only I were given this chance… if only.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Masen?" I heard Newton say as I was unexpectedly being shoved backwards. _Oh, no_. _This asshole better not even dare start with me right now_. I took a step back to regain my footing, as I dropped my hands from my head, staring daggers into his punk-ass face.

I practically fucking growled at him before sneering "If you know what's best for you, Newton, you will Back. The. Fuck. Off. Right now."

He smirked. "You think you scare me, Golden Boy? I've seen plenty of assholes just like you go in and out of this locker room. You think you're the first one to ever try to make a play for Bella? Believe me, there have been plenty, and all with the exact same outcome."

It was taking every bit of self control I had at the moment to stop from beating this fucker's ass down right then and there. God, I hated motherfucking Mike Newton. The only thing stopping me was the fact that we were in a public place, press would inevitably be called, and such a public relations nightmare would alienate Bella and myself even more. Although this is exactly what this dick face wanted, I would be damned if I let it occur.

_Mike, this is your lucky day you son of a bitch! This is your lucky day._

"Do you count yourself in with that group, too?" I interrupted. I fucking hated that Golden Boy nickname. If I hadn't been so against physical violence, I probably would have punched him right at that moment square in the jaw. The visualization became more tempting as I realized a broken jaw would have to be reset and wired shut, effectively keeping his damn mouth quiet for weeks.

"Please, you wish. I was invited by the endearing Ms. Black to join her here tonight. Somehow, I'm guessing that you weren't. You may have been hot shit back in Phoenix, but you are a no one here, Masen. Bella won't be one of your little whores; she's got too much class for that. Find someone else to fuck with."

This asshat was pushing my buttons and had far surpassed working my last nerve. My temper was flaring. Fists balled up at the sides as my eyes narrowed directly on him. With every ounce of control I had left in me, I cooly said "You have no idea what you are talking about, Newton. Stay out of it. Bella is a grown woman and she can make her own decisions. I'm pretty sure I heard her telling you in no uncertain terms, that she doesn't appreciate you marking your territory on her like a goddamn dog."

"That girl has no idea what she wants or needs. Believe me, she will be begging me for forgiveness tomorrow when she sobers up. I'm not worried." That fucker smirked once again, but this time I couldn't contain myself. I felt my arm drawing backwards, but right as I was about to let my fist fly, I felt a strong tug on my upper arm pulling it back once again.

"That's enough, E. Let's just go home before you regret something terrible tomorrow," Jasper said as I turned around to see what had been the brute force that interrupted my plan to silence this moron once and for all.

He was right of course. I would most certainly probably regret punching Newton and right now, I didn't think I could handle anymore regrets. I glared at Mike once more before brushing Jasper off and heading towards the exit of the lounge. When we got down to ground level, I was assaulted by the frigid air of the night. Alice had already hailed us a cab, so I jumped in the back seat and slid all the way over to the window, pulling my coat tight around me. I was shaking but I wasn't sure if it was due to my anger, pain or the cold, but it was unrelenting. Alice rubbed my arm reassuringly, but stayed uncharacteristically quiet, as did Jasper, the entire ride back to my place. I couldn't have been more thankful for this peace, as I had no intention of discussing anything that happened tonight with either of them. I really just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for awhile.

When we arrived back at my condo I thrusted a few bills at the driver and jumped quickly out of the car. I was surprised when Jasper and Alice exited the cab also, until I remembered that we had decided earlier to all just spend the night here. I was greatly regretting that decision right now but nothing could be done about it at this point. We rode up the elevator in relative silence and upon entering my place Alice and Jasper headed towards the guest room as I headed into the kitchen. I was seriously considering having another drink just to take the edge off, but I doubted it would be much more effective. Instead I grabbed a glass of water, gulping it down in two large swallows, before resting my forehead on the stainless steel refrigerator. How I had messed all of this up again so royally, I had no idea. My thoughts were spinning out of control when I felt the heat of a small hand rubbing up and down my back. It was Alice, and while I appreciated the gesture, I knew if I turned around to look at her I might end up crying. She seemed to sense this, almost like a precognition, and instead whispered that she was here anytime if I wanted to talk. She kissed my clothed shoulder chastely and then turned and left the room. I sighed, filled my glass up once more and headed into my bedroom.

I changed quickly into some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt before climbing into bed. It took several minutes for me to get comfortable as my mind refused to turn off. I eventually fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning, experiencing one vivid nightmare after another. Some were about my father, but most were about Bella. No matter how horrible the image, they all lead to the same outcome... Bella was gone. As hard as I tried, I couldn't wake from them. Something was keeping my mind locked into this disastrous REM stage. When I finally awoke, I practically jumped into a sitting position on the bed, covered in sweat, and clutching something in my arms like a life preserver.

"Shhh... you're okay, Edward. It's just a dream. You're okay." I turned my head towards the sound and saw that I was clutching Alice's delicate arm, almost as if she was keeping me from drowning.

"Alice? What are you..." I asked in confusion before trailing off. "Never mind," I said in defeat. This wasn't the first time I've had dreams like this I knew. My mother and Jazz had frequently tried to soothe me during the night. "Thank you, for being here. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You want to talk about the dreams? It might help," she tried to persuade me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about them, but I didn't really know what help it would be. I glanced over at the alarm clock and realized it was a little after three-thirty in the morning. I groaned knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anyways. These types of dreams typically did that to me. "There's really not that much to talk about. I've been having the same dreams for years. Sometimes they just get worse. Obviously it makes sense why I'm getting them tonight."

She patted the pillow next to her and I laid back down, trying to get more comfortable. "Tell me about your dad, Edward. You mentioned him some in your dreams."

_Fuck me and my damn sleep talking_. Well I supposed it was still an easier subject than Bella, so I might as well start there. "Umm... well, he died right after I graduated high school. He had been sick for some time with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He's actually the reason we moved to Forks.

"Really? I'm sorry Edward. Did Bella know about him being sick? She's never mentioned anything about that to me. She's actually told me a lot about your mom and dad, I'm just surprised that never came up," Alice inquired.

Well fuck-a-duck, here we go I suppose. Regret number one, your number is ready. "No, she doesn't know, at least I don't think she does." Alice furrowed her brow and gave me a questioning look. "Well it's not much different than her not telling me her grandfather owned a major league baseball team. I didn't want anyone talking about it. I was the new kid. Who moves their senior year of high school with only two months left in the year? Absolutely no one, that's who. I had hoped to make a few friends and I didn't want them to just try out of pity. So I kept it to myself. When he started to really go downhill, I always made up excuses for why we couldn't go to my house. I had made up my mind to finally tell her the night of the graduation party. He was really getting bad, barely in and out of consciousness, and I needed to talk to someone so badly, but somehow I got too drunk, and well, I'm sure you've heard the rest of this already."

Alice nodded her head and sat quietly for a few moments. I thought maybe she had drifted off, when she finally spoke out again. "Why did you move to Forks? You're right, not too many families would move their child with only two months left in the school year, especially as a senior.

"My father, Edward Sr., was my biggest fan. He was so proud when I had got accepted with a full baseball scholarship to USC. He had such high aspirations for me to make it to the big leagues." I smiled just remembering how proud he had been the day I got that acceptance letter in the mail. He had slapped me on the back and then pulled me into one of the biggest man-hugs around. Tears welled in his eyes and he told me that he knew one day all _our_ dreams were going to come true. Sometimes I wondered if I didn't just push myself so hard, so that my father would continue to have his dreams for me come true.

"Once my college plans were solidified, I agreed to move with my family to the small town of Forks. My father was well aware that he didn't have much time left and wanted to be somewhere that was both scenic and green. Somewhere peaceful, away from all the city lights and sounds of big city San Diego. He told both my mother and I that he had drove through this sleepy little town years ago and that he just felt connected to it. At the time, I didn't understand why we couldn't have just moved to Lake Tahoe. It was also green and scenic, but had lots of activities to keep me entertained."

I chuckled, thinking of the lush and green and sunny Lake Tahoe and the also lush and green, but dreary Forks. I asked him once, what he could possibly have felt connected to in this small town, but he told me that he felt there was a reason his remission ended when it did and that there was just something about that town, that he knew he needed to spend his last days in it. I personally liked to think that somehow he knew I would find Bella and that she would change me irrevocably. When he died, my father thought I had still been blissfully happy with my beautiful girl; I didn't want to disappoint him and let him know how I had messed things up so badly that she left me.

"However, I would have done anything for my father, he was my hero, so we packed up and headed to Washington. I met Bella only a week later," I added.

I saw Alice's ears perk up immediately, her demeanor becoming much more like her usual peppy self and I groaned internally. "Tell me the story of how you met, please. Of course, I've heard Bella's version, but I'm a sucker for romance, what can I say. Plus, it's a happy story. We could both use happy right now, right?"

I laughed dryly. "You drive a hard bargain, Alice. I suppose we could both use a little happiness right now. Let's see, where to start...

_We arrived in Forks during the school's spring break. My father had called ahead to speak to the baseball coach and to make sure I would have a place on the team this late in the season. I considered taking some time off from baseball until I left for college, but my father disagreed with the idea stating my skills might get rusty. I met with the team and had a few practices during that week. I made friends with a few of the guys, but desperately missed my boys from back home. The team was unbearably bad and I easily took over the starting third base position from a guy named Eric. Our first home game was scheduled for the following Wednesday and I looked forward to it. I hoped the day would be nice so my dad could come out and watch._

_During warm ups, I looked around the field. There were only a few people there to watch the game. Back in California, the stands would always be full of students and people from the community. No wonder the team was so crappy, they had no support or cheering section, I thought. I immediately noticed the two girls and the very tall, russet-skinned boy sitting in the stands. The girls each had long brown hair and were cute in that girl-next-door kind of way. The guy was huge, with short spiky black hair. I figured he was probably on the basketball team. _

_We took the field first as the home team. The first batter singled to right field. Not a great start. The second batter popped up into foul territory on the third base line. I ran for the ball and ended up diving into the bleachers before making the catch. As I looked up, I was met with the most sensational pair of chocolate-colored eyes I had ever seen. Her forehead raised and her mouth opened with surprise, while those giant doe eyes had concern radiating from them. _

"_Oh my God! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" came from this beautiful creature's mouth. _

_I could barely breathe. I was so lost in her eyes. They were so expressive. So warm. So astoundingly beautiful. Instead of answering, I just stared at her like a little kid does at a cookie eaten by Santa Claus. I knew I had to say something because the moment was starting to take on a very awkward vibe. I could see her starting to look around at her friends for help. After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably less than twenty seconds, I swallowed hard and nodded my head. I pushed myself up and off the bleachers, then turned and threw the ball back to the pitcher. I chanced one more look at the girl before trotting back to my position._

_The game itself was fairly disastrous. I went two for five on the day, which was one of my worst showings in my high school career. I couldn't concentrate because I kept peeking out of my peripheral vision to see the girl. I had no plans on coming to this Podunk town and starting to date someone when I had moved. But I couldn't take my eyes off the girl. I felt drawn to her. I remember I wanted to talk to her so badly. I wish I could have shown off a little more for her though, but really I was embarrassed by my game that day._

_After the game I went back to the locker room to change. I was surprised to see her still sitting in the stands when I walked out to my car. Could she have been as smitten with me as I was with her? Slowly making my way over to the bleachers, I heard her call to me. When I heard her voice again, it was like the sky parted and I had been given a second chance to talk to her. Although I wanted to play the cocky, typical baseball player, I wasn't able to with her. The look in her eyes and the gentle nature radiating off her, brought feelings up that I never knew existed, never knew I wanted, but now that I was feeling them I never wanted them to disappear._

"_Edward, right? I'm Bella. I write the baseball write-ups for the school paper. Would you mind if I did a feature on you?" She began walking down the bleachers and tripped, practically flying and landed directly into my outstretched arms. I couldn't help but to chuckle._

_Bella blushed immediately and righted herself. It was so endearing. She seemed almost as nervous as I was. I realized immediately that she was more than just girl-next-door cute. She was beautiful._

_Bella. What a perfect name for her. She was so small and petite. She had a creamy pale skin tone that was perfectly accented by a white hoodie that came to her elbows. Under it she wore, a dark blue tee-shirt and light colored blue jeans. Her long slightly wavy brown hair hung loosely down her back and I could see specks of red that glinted off in the sunlight. Her lips were pink and full, although maybe slightly asymmetrical. They were mesmerizing. All I could think about was how I wanted nothing more than to kiss her._

_I forced my eyes away from Bella's lips and smiled at her. What in the world had come over me? I never had any problems getting female attention back in San Diego, but I had never really dated any girl seriously. I always told myself I was too busy with school and baseball, that I wouldn't have the time to dedicate to someone else. Truthfully, I just didn't want to bring home someone my Dad might have been disappointed in. _

"_Sorry about that. I'm a little clumsy sometimes," Bella said while trying not to make eye contact with me. Adorable!_

_I wished she would look back at me, so I could read more in her eyes. "It's fine," I chuckled and flashed my crooked smile, the one I knew even then, could knock a girl to her knees. "No. Don't worry about it at all. I'm happy to catch you anytime." I realized then that I was embarrassing myself and sounding like a complete idiot, so I quickly tried to change the subject. "So about this interview, did you want to do it today or another time?" _

_She finally looked back, her eyes twinkling with excitement and a huge grin on her face. "Today would be perfect. Should we get started?"_

_Bella asked endless questions about my life in San Diego and my baseball career. I told her everything, while carefully avoiding information about my father. I didn't want her to feel bad for me and I wasn't sure I could actually open up about my feelings anyway. Our conversation was easy and natural, like we had known each other for years. During that thirty minute interview, I smiled more than I had in months. We decided to meet again the following day after practice for any additional questions she might come up with overnight. If I was being honest, it was simply a lame ass excuse to talk to her again._

_When I finally left the field that night, I was looking forward to our second meeting. I knew Bella and I could be great friends, but deep down, I knew I wanted more than to be "just friends" with her. I just wasn't sure that was really a good idea since I had a lot of family obligations to deal with. _

_Laying in bed that night, all I could see were those eyes when I closed my own. I knew I had to see her again. I couldn't ignore those overpowering feelings and I didn't want to. Even though I wasn't sure that she felt the same way, I wanted to at least try with her. For the first time, I wanted to try to have a girlfriend._

So we did, and we went full damn steam ahead. Seriously, like a 'Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars' type of thing. It was intense from the beginning, both in good and bad ways. Our attraction was undeniable, but we just clicked about so much when we talked. I was desperate for her, she was like my air and I tried to hold on to her too tightly, I think. We fought constantly about the stupidest of things, but always made up with the most unbelievable sex. Sex, which to this day, has never been duplicated even on our worst days," I finished, stretching slightly and bringing my hands behind my head.

"What kinds of things did you argue about, Edward," Alice asked seriously.

I bit my lower lip into my mouth and admitted my biggest flaw. "My jealousy, mainly. I'd never been in a relationship before and I was having so many problems at home and like I said, I clung to her desperately. I wanted her to myself. My feelings were so intense and I didn't know how to handle that unless I was with her."

"What do you mean?" Alice interrupted.

"When I saw her with Jacob, at the time I knew they were just friends and that she felt his friendship was invaluable, but still, I would get so anxious while she was with him. It's like I couldn't relax, like a part of me was missing, and when she was finally with me, I felt at peace and whole again. At first I handled it pretty well, but as my dad's health deteriorated, I found myself more and more desperate to have her with me and only me. It wasn't really fair to her since she didn't even know my Dad was sick, but for some reason I just expected her to sense when I needed her and drop everything to be there for me.

So, overtime, I started developing this immense anger towards Jacob, which I am not proud of at all. Just her mentioning his name, could set me off. I gave her ultimatums for Christ's sake, which isn't me. At least, I don't think that is me. But whatever, that's beside the point. I've never had those same kinds of reactions to women I've dated since Bella and I broke up. What scares me the most is that even now, when I've only seen her again one day after ten years apart, those same feelings are resurfacing. When I saw her dancing with Mike Newton tonight and he was touching her, I just wanted to pummel him. I know you told me there was nothing to be worried about with him, but I still can't seem to control myself. That, that feeling of jealously scares the shit out of me Alice," I admitted honestly.

"Okay. Well that is something we are seriously going to need to work on then, if you want to have any chance of getting back together with her. Is that why you were talking about Jake in your dream?" she questioned.

I furrowed my brows, not really remembering what had happened with Jake in my dream. "I don't know, I don't remember. What was I saying?"

"You said you had to find her and that you knew he was aware of where she was or something to that affect."

Ah, of course. I hated that Jake knew where Bella was when she left and wouldn't tell me. And now, knowing he fucking married her and played on her emotions in order for it to happen, made me hate him even more. Perhaps my jealousy was called for after all, but I digress. "After Bella left, I went to Jake and pleaded for him to tell me where she was. I just wanted to talk to her, to apologize. Even if she wouldn't take me back, I needed her to know how I felt. He refused. I knew he was aware of exactly where she had gone and that he was probably still keeping in touch with her, but no matter what I said, he wouldn't tell me anything."

"That Motherfucker," Alice proclaimed. I looked at her questioningly, although I won't say I didn't agree. "Sorry. I can't say anything about that right now, not until after I talk to Bella. I've just never been much of a fan of Jake's. I always knew he was hiding something from her and you basically just confirmed it.

Look, I'm not going to lie to you here, Edward, you have your work cut out for you if you plan on getting Bella back. She was so unbelievably broken when she found you with Lauren, and I know she has a difficult time trusting people to begin with. She doubts her self immensely, so much so that she truly feels as if she isn't worthy of real happiness or love. You are going to need to be patient with her. I'm not saying play hard to get, I'm simply saying don't push her too much. Let her make the first move. I honestly think she will, but if she feels pressured into it, she's going to throw up her defense walls and run again. Do you think you could do that?"

I stared at Alice wanting to say "of course," but realizing I needed to give it some actual thought. I have had very little control over my actions since I had come back in contact with Bella. Constantly wanting to touch her, feel her, and even taste her. The compulsions were done practically without thought as my draw to her was magnetic. It would take every ounce of my self-restraint to stay away from her, to let her make the first move. I swallowed hard. I knew the sacrifice would be worth it if it worked. "I can do that," I answered honestly.

"Good. The next thing we have to do is get you both talking. You both seem to be equally to blame when it comes to your suck-ass communication skills as a couple. Listening to you both, it just seems like so many of your problems were due to poor communication. Even your jealousy seems to be partly skewed into the lack of communication. Had Bella known your real reasons for needing her as often as you did, perhaps you wouldn't have fought so much. I think it's best to try and get to know one another again. Start simply. Once you have some trust established in the present, then the past might be a little easier to deal with. Do you see what I mean?"

_Holy shit. She is like Dr. Phil, Sigmund Freud, and a cute little old grandma wrapped into one trendy little package. _

Alice brought up some good points and I knew we needed to discuss our past to eventually move on, but maybe starting over with the present was the way to initiate that. Starting at the midpoint and working our way back to the beginning, in order to eventually move forward towards the end. A little complicated, but hell, Bella and I had never been easy. I laughed in spite of myself. "The idea is so crazy it might just work, Ali."

Alice smiled widely. "You've got a lot of personal demons you need to overcome, Edward. The depression, guilt, jealousy, and generalized mistrust in people, but we will deal with those as they come along. I need you to trust me in this process. If you don't trust me, I'm afraid you're going to drown trying to fight your way back out. I know Bella better than anyone. We have had a very special bond since we were kids. I can promise you I will stay neutral, but will be working to help both of you. I also promise not to divulge your secrets or issues with Bella or vice versa. The reason for this is because I want you guys to be able to tell them to each other when you're ready."

I nodded my head. "That makes sense. I appreciate everything you are trying to do, Ali. I know this is not going to be an easy process, and I'm sure I'm going to fuck it up numerous times, but I know you have our best interests in mind. The fact that you are even willing to try and help me after everything I've done to her, is just amazing to me. Thank you." I said emotion welling in my throat.

Alice shook her head. "First things first. Please, stop putting Bella on a pedestal. She has fucked up quite a bit, too. She doesn't deserve to be in that position. Trust me."

Those words triggered something Bella had said to me last night. _I don't deserve you._ What the hell was she talking about? "She said that too, you know? That she doesn't deserve me. Why is she saying that, Ali? It is me who doesn't deserve her."

She sighed. "As I mentioned before, Bella has her own demons to fight. She has made mistakes with you also, one that she regrets deeply, Edward. I'm sure when she's ready she will tell you exactly what it is she meant by that statement. Be patient, okay?"

I nodded although I was anything but satisfied. Alice peered over at the clock and sighed once more. It was already a quarter to six. "I'm going to shower real quick and then get out of here. I have a few errands I need to run. You should try and get a few hours of sleep before you have to be back at the field. I'll get Jasper up for work before I leave and we will lock up for you. Get some sleep, Edward. You're going to want to be on your A-game when you have to come face to face with Newton again today. That idiot is fucking relentless," she quipped.

I yawned suddenly and then we both chuckled. I thanked Alice again before she left and then laid back down, falling into an extremely restful sleep minutes after my head hit my pillow.

The ringing of my phone woke me up at ten forty-five. Jasper. "Hello," I answered my voice deep and groggy from sleep.

"Alice asked me to call you and wake you up so you wouldn't be late to practice. She wanted you to have as much sleep as possible. How ya feeling?"

I groaned. "I've had better mornings. That girl of yours is a keeper, though. Don't fuck that up."

Jasper chuckled quietly into the receiver. "Don't I know it and I have no plans of screwing it up. Now get up and get moving, so you don't end up being late."

Smirking, I faux-saluted him and gave him my best, "Yes, Major Whitlock. I'm up and at 'em."

Jasper simply replied, "Fuck off, Assward" and hung up the phone.

Snickering, I pushed myself out of the warm bed and into the shower. I grabbed a pair of blue Puma track pants and a Cubs sweatshirt and dressed quickly. Then, I scrambled up some eggs and drank a cup of coffee and orange juice before heading out to the stadium for batting practice.

Today was another frigid day, the high expected to be in the mid-forties, but no rain expected, thank heavens. The weather adjustments were definitely going to be taking some time to get used to. When I reached the locker room, I put my batting practice jersey underneath by sweatshirt and then headed out to the field. Newton decided to be smart and stayed the hell away from me for most of the practice. I took most of my frustration with him out on the ball, hitting line drive after line drive. I was pleased with the stroke of my swing so far this season. Even with everything that was going on between Bella and myself, it was still great to know that I still had a passion for the game. This game helped me to find some peace and stability, not to mention that it always made me feel closer to my father.

At around three in the afternoon, I saw Bella make her way down to the field. She looked so beautiful in her green sweater and jeans. I tried my best to not stare at her, instead I resorted to repeating over and over again in my mind Alice's words of advice. She stopped and talked to the coaches and then to several players. I was starting to worry that maybe she wouldn't address me directly and my nerves started to get me quite worked up. Finally she made eye contact with me, smiling slightly and headed in my direction. I know it was only a small smile, but my word, did it instantly bring some light to my otherwise dark world. It gave me hope and you know what they say about hope, it floats.

All too soon, however, that douchewad Newton had to intercept her like she was a damn football or something. Gah, I hated that guy. Instinctively, I felt my hands clench into fists at my side all the while chanting to myself, "Calm the fuck down, Masen. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth." When I stole a glance over at Bella, I saw that she was eying me warily. She finally convinced Newton that it was his turn up at bat and he headed away towards the plate. Bella slowly walked the remainder of the way up to me and just like always, the pull towards her was so unbelievably powerful. I stared into her beautiful eyes, urging her to speak first. I didn't know how long I would last before I would need to either touch her or walk away. Something caught the corner of my eye and I glanced up, seeing Newton eyeing us suspiciously with a venomous glare. Just then, I felt a small warm hand touch and practically electrocute my skin when it made contact with my upper arm. I quickly brought my eyes back to Bella's. _Praise baby Jeebus_, she was actually touching me. My anxiousness and irritation seemed to ebb immediately.

"Edward, it's fine, really. Mike just likes to run his mouth to get a rise out of people. Please, for me, ignore him," she requested. If only he wasn't so damn hard to ignore. That moron was always buzzing in my ear about something or another.

I sighed heavily, trying to memorize the feel of her comforting touch and then nodded to indicate I would try to leave that idiot alone. I was dying to ask her if she was okay after last night. She looked so pained and broken when she left. And she had initiated the conversation, right? I was going to take advantage of my small opportunity.

"Bella, are you alright? With everything that happened last night, I need to know if you are alright."

It was a simple question. One that could be answered with a yes or a no, but that would not require any additional conversation if she was not up for it. I searched her eyes, looking for an answer, but they were completely unreadable and I felt my sadness starting to creep back in.

"Edward," she began in a quiet voice, "I know yesterday's meeting between us didn't go very well. Please know, that I am sorrier for my actions than you can ever imagine. I can't imagine what you are thinking at this moment or about me, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know."

Why the hell did she keep apologizing to me? I desperately wanted to ask, just so I could let her off the hook for her obviously misplaced guilt, but I would trust Alice as she requested. Finally she spoke the words that made the angels sing and trumpets blare.

"So, I was wondering if you would like to meet tonight for coffee?"

Don't be too overeager Masen. Remember the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady wins the race. Take your time in answering her you over-zealous bastard, lest you might frighten her away again. I smiled softly, though I knew my eyes were dancing, thus probably blowing my cover. I didn't give a flying fuck because she came to me. She wanted to meet me and talk to me. She was making the first move and I sure as hell wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by again. This was my opening, my one last ditch effort to make it right and I knew I needed to jump on it like a fat kid wants cake.

"That sounds great. Coffee sounds perfect. Where would you like to meet?" I asked slightly too excited, but I didn't care. This girl had me wrapped around her finger and now I was finally given the chance to explain this to her.

"How about around six at Julius Meinl on North Southport Avenue? Their coffee is to die for and they also have a lot of yummy food to snack on," she said with an honest to goodness smile on her face. Her happiness affected me immediately and I could feel a pressure on my shoulders lift. This was the Bella I knew and loved. This was my Bella.

~xx~~~~~~xx~

I arrived at the coffee shop about fifteen minutes early. Leave it to me to be overanxious, but I just couldn't help it. I found a small square table and took a seat glancing at the menu briefly. The food did look good, a lot of Austrian dishes as well soups, salads, sandwiches, and desserts. I didn't want to order until Bella came, so I started to fiddle with my phone. I decided on a game of Sudoku to pass the time, but found I could barely concentrate on it. My knee was bouncing furiously, something I found I did when I was extremely nervous. The small hangnail on my thumb became an obsession to rid myself of, as time seemed to tick by ever so slowly. Good thing this place was almost empty, I can't even imagine what a fucking nutcase I must look like sitting her.

Glancing at my watch, I realized it was a few minutes after six. Panic started to set in. Is she going to stand me up? I really should not have gotten here so early, as I was driving myself insane. This meeting meant everything and I was not so stupid as to not realize that. If we couldn't move past the uneasiness within the first few minutes, I had a nagging feeling that it would be the end of our get-togethers. I swallowed hard in realization. Just then I was startled by the vibration of my phone. It was a bbm from Alice.

**Stay calm. She will come, I promise. **

**Remember to let her lead. **

**It's going to be fine, Edward. **

**Trust Me.**

How that girl always seemed to know just when you needed her, I had no idea. She was an angel of that I was sure. I took a deep, cleansing breath and typed back a quick reply thanking her. I sat my phone back down on the table and rolled my neck trying to release the pent up tension.

Just then, I felt a pull towards the door. As I glanced over I saw Bella stepping inside. She was dressed casually in a pair of black pants and an orange and black plaid top, her hair flowing down her back in loose curls. I was glad I had decided on casual also, wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey hoodie sweater. I stood up from the table to greet her, hoping my eyes would not convey my nervousness. A warm smile spread across her face as she spotted me and started towards the table. Immediately, my anxiety seemed to melt away. How Bella was always able to do that to me, I will never know. Our emotions seemed to be so intricately laced together, it amazed me.

When she reached the table I crossed to pull out her chair. Something about her was different. I gave her a questioning look and asked "Why do you seem so much smaller?" It was a stupid question, I knew it as soon as it left my mouth.

She giggled and said simply "Ballet flats" as she lifted her foot up. "I think I've only been in heels since we've seen each other here in Chicago. Without my heels I'm almost as short as Alice."

I looked at her inquisitively trying to decide, then shrugged and responded "Maybe. You might be right about that," as I gestured for her to sit down and then carefully slid her in towards the table. Why such idiotic conversation was occurring I had no idea. I hadn't wanted this to be awkward, but of course I was failing miserably. Why hadn't I just let her lead the conversation as Alice had suggested?

I sat back down in my chair and stared at the marble top of the table. Bella seemed to sense my sudden unease. She laughed suddenly and my eyes flew to her face. "Why don't we try and start over Edward. This doesn't have to be so weird. Let's just hang out, have fun. You know?" she said with a shy smile on her face.

I felt the corners of my mouth turn upwards as I stared into those beautiful brown orbs. "You look very pretty tonight, Bella." It had slipped from my mouth before I could stop it. God, why oh why could I not seem to find my filter when I was around her. I was going to send her running again.

She surprised me though, smiling wider. "Thanks," she responded, blushing a beautiful shade of pink. Her eyes looked down towards the menu while her hand moved towards her hair, finding a strand and nervously twirling it around her index finger. "Have you ever been here before?" she asked quietly.

My eyes fell back towards my menu as well. "No. I haven't had much time to explore the city yet. Everything sounds delicious though. What would you recommend?"

"Hmm..." she said in the sweetest little voice, looking back up at me. "Well my favorite is the Nutella crepes." Her eyes twinkled in excitement as she described the chocolate-hazelnut cream delight that she preferred with strawberries and bananas. "I may or may not have become slightly obsessed with Nutella after watching Giada use it in so many different recipes," she said biting the side of her lower lip with a faux-embarrassment.

"Who's Giada?" I said furrowing my brows in confusion.

Bella's eyes widened in astonishment. "You don't know who Giada is? From the Food Network?" She paused waiting for some type of recognition. I shook my head no and she laughed. "Wow. I'm sorry. I figured all the guys knew who she was. She has this show called Everyday Italian and she's beautiful and constantly wearing low cut tops while she cooks. Emmett _loves_ her."

It was fascinating to sit and watch her talk and laugh so animatedly. I hung on her every word, facial expression, and hand gesture. It reminded me of all our good times together back in high school. God, how I longed for that again. I could spend the rest of my life right here at this table watching her, if she was always this happy. "So what looks good to you?" she said suddenly pulling me from my thoughts.

I tore my eyes away from her and forced them back towards the menu. "Hmm. Well I think I will try this chicken and fontina crepe, but I might need to steal a bite of yours, just to see what all the fuss is about, of course," I responded teasingly. "I can't believe how many different types of tea and coffee they have on here. What do you recommend there?" Anything. I would say anything to hear her voice again.

She bit her lower lip into that sexy mouth of hers and flipped through the menu. "Mmmm," she responded a few seconds later. "Well I know exactly what I want-the Black Forest Mocha, but for you..." she trailed off in thought lightly tapping her index finger on her lips. "For you, I think the Frosted Mint Mocha would be your favorite choice. I know you love Andes candies and it sounds similar to that."

I read the description and had to agree it sounded good. I couldn't believe she remembered how much I liked those candies. This fact gave me hope, even if it was inconsequential. I waved our server over and ordered both plates and drinks for us. Then turned back towards Bella and smiled. "So, you mentioned exploring the city. What are the must-sees that every Chicago resident should know about?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and laughed lightly. "Well, jeez, put a girl on the spot. Let's see. Obviously everyone should do the Sears Tower once in their life. Uh... I suppose Navy Pier and Grant and Millennium Parks have a lot to do and see," she added. Bell's face suddenly brightened, "Oh, I know. Have you seen the Old Water Tower? It sort of reminds me of being in Europe. It's this old castle looking building that is wedged between all these modern skyscrapers. It's pretty cool."

I tried to remember if Bella had always been so animated with her hand gestures while talking before, but was coming up blank. I was literally mesmerized by her. "Of course there's always the aquarium and the zoo. Those are good for when company is in town because, I mean, who doesn't like animals? Right?"

I chuckled quietly. "That's true I suppose. Maybe you could show me around sometime?" I watched as her expression seemed to freeze on her face. Things were going so well, I really didn't want it to go back towards awkward again, so I quickly added, "If you want. I mean I'm sure Jasper or Alice would be more than willing, so there is no pressure or anything."

Bella cast her eyes downward and bit her lip into her mouth once more. I was starting to worry she might make herself bleed if she kept nibbling like that. Suddenly I heard her mumble, "No" and I tensed up. She looked up at me suddenly, surely seeing the hurt in my eyes. "Oh God, Edward. That's not what I meant," she added quickly. Reaching across the table she placed her hand over mine and gave it a small squeeze. "I meant that you didn't have to ask Jasper to take you. I... it would be fun. You and me. We should do that," she whispered nervously.

My head was spinning. Not only was Bella still touching me, electrocuting me with her energy and warmth, she was also sort of agreeing to a date with me. Inwardly, I was rejoicing like a sixteen year-old and had to refrain from doing a fist pump into the air in victory. The server came back to our table with our coffees and crepes interrupting my silent celebration and I was actually relieved, as he had probably saved me from making a complete ass out of myself. I flipped over the hand that was beneath Bella's and gave her's a small squeeze in return. Our hands fit together so perfectly. She smiled but then pulled her hand back so she could use it to eat. Though her action was completely reasonable, as I knew if she still had any of the Bella I once knew still in her, she would need two hands to cut up her food, (lest she would probably cut her finger off with just that butter knife) I was amazed at the feeling of loss I felt when her skin no longer made contact with mine. Yep, sign me up for rehab, I was definitely a Bella junkie.

We ate in silence for a minute or so, though I stole glances at her each time she placed the fork into her mouth. The way her tongue would slide along the bottom of the tines when she opened and then her lips puckered as she slid it back out, chewing slowly before I'd once again see her tongue peek back out to lick the rogue Nutella off her lips. "How's yours?" she inquired pulling me from my trance.

I looked down at my plate, realizing I had consumed about half of it, but didn't even remember tasting it. "It's good," I responded with a smile, assuming it must not have been too bad as I had eaten this much already.

"I'll let you try some of mine if you let me try yours" she prodded holding up her Nutella-coated fork towards my mouth.

As if I could resist. I opened my mouth and she slid the fork inside depositing the creamy deliciousness. So damn sweet, so Bella. I resisted her pulling it back out as I wanted to savor every second of this Bella-coated utensil. She laughed thinking I was simply teasing her, _god if she only knew_, but I relented and let the fork slide from my mouth. "Mmmm... so good," I moaned with what I hoped she wouldn't realize was a double entendre. "More, please?" I begged following her fork with my open mouth.

Bella giggled and slapped my arm lightly. "No way. Get your own. It's my turn now." She closed her eyes opening her mouth in anticipation.

I couldn't help but to chuckle. "You look like a baby bird waiting for it's mom to bring back food," I teased as I inserted my fork into her mouth.

Her eyes fluttered in appreciation as she sucked off the bite of crepe. I removed the fork watching her closely. Her lips turned upwards into a smile and she murmured, "I love the saltiness of the cheese as it melts into my mouth. Mmm." Her eyes flashed open taking in my staring. "What?" she said with a smile. I simply shook my head and smiled before quickly stabbing at another piece of food on her plate and putting it into my mouth. Her eyes widened and she gasped. "Edward, no fair."

I continued chewing the smile never leaving my face. I hadn't felt this light in years. This was the Bella that I knew. Fun and playful. Teasing and laughing. She brought out the best in me in every sense of the word. My god, how I loved her still. I could just picture us here years from now married and still acting like love-sick teenagers. It was like she was made just for me. I had a sudden urge to kiss that shocked look right off her face.

My smile faltered however, when I realized that though this was going incredibly well, it was most definitely not a good idea to push my luck. I pushed the thoughts out of my head, knowing I had to trust Alice. I knew in my heart I would wait for her for as long as it took. I had to believe that she still loved me beneath all those layers of protection she had built around herself.

Bella must have noticed my slight change in demeanor because she was suddenly looking at me with trepidation. "I know I owe you a lot of explanations, Edward. I'm sorry. Please understand that I thought I was doing the right thing. I may have been wrong. I... hmm, we've just, we've already lost so much time..."

"Don't Bella," I interrupted. "I was thinking about what you said in your office yesterday, about not talking about the past yet. You were right. We've both made a lot of mistakes, but I forgive you and I hope you can one day forgive me. Let's just start fresh right now and see where this goes. Eventually, I think it will be easier to talk about all that other stuff. We were having fun and I think that's what we need from each other right now. We can go back to that heavy stuff another time. What do you say?"

Bella opened her mouth several times, looking almost pained as she debated whether or not to say whatever was on her mind. Eventually, she swallowed and looked down towards the table before nodding. For the life of me, I can't see where all of her overwhelming guilt seemed to come from. I reached across the table and rubbed her hand with my index finger. After a moment she sighed and lifted her hand twining her fingers with mine. "Ok," she said simply. She smiled shyly before asking, "So we have a block of nine days coming up, all here in Chicago and almost all afternoon games, would you want to hang out a few times, maybe see some of those Chicago attraction sights?"

I had finally found my inner peace and my home here in Chicago, but mostly in the presence of this woman. This all too forgiving and broken woman, who was risking it all on a second chance at a relationship with me. That knowledge made me love her even more. But if I was being honest with myself, it also scared the living shit out of me. There could be no more mistakes, neither of us were strong enough to take another fall. Going mercifully slow would be the only logical way. If we wanted this to work, there was no way we could just jump back in feet first without looking. We tried that, and it didn't really work. This time we needed to dangle our feet in the water and adjust to the temperature before wading into the current. I was adamant that this time it be forever. That this time, we both get our well-deserved happy ending and this included us, together.

"I'd love to. Thank you, Bella," I said bringing our entwined hands up to my mouth and kissing hers gently.

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**A/N****: **

**Special Reward for all Reviewers: If you leave a review on this chapter I will send you a one-shot of Edward's Nightmare from Alice's POV. This will not be posted so if you want to read, you have to review. **

**Story Rec's: **_**A Woman Scorned**_** by **_**Bella Baby24**_**: this story is about a cheating Edward and Bella finding her way back and getting revenge by writing a book. It's only a few chapters in so jump on it now. **_**Show and Don't Tell**_** and it's companion story **_**Show and Don't Tell: Uncle E POV**_** by **_**Brits23**_**: These stories are almost completed- Just the epilogue left. Bella is a kindergarten teacher and Edward is the uncle of one of her favorite kids. They have many obstacles to cross to get together, but the journey is full of fun mixed in with some angst. You will love it.**

**Remember there is now a forum for this story on Twilighted. Come on over and discuss with other fans. ****http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=7190**


	12. Falling for You

**Author's Note: Hello to all our new and returning readers! We're so happy to have you here with us. I know it has been awhile and I apologize. (And thanks to this epic FFn alert fail, I've put off updating an extra couple of days.) RL has been extremely crazy lately. However, I am just about through my first trimester of pregnancy now and they saw the fatigue is going to improve, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed as it has significantly cut into my writing time. I also know I have been a little lax on responding to all my reviews during the posting of the outtakes. I read them all as you know, and hope to be back on track with responding to all of them again with this chapter.**

**I hope you all enjoyed the High School outtake. Thank you to snshyne again for purchasing it in the fandomgives back. If you haven't yet read it, I definitely urge you to go check it out. It's listed on my profile under THC Outtakes. There is quite a bit of story line revealed in it, so it might help you to be acquainted with it as the story progresses. **

**As always thank you to my beta, shaelove for making sure we have all our t's crossed and our i's dotted before we post and to my prereader, refolin for being my sounding board and for making the joy of writing this all the more worthwhile. Love you both! **

**So without further delay, I bring you Bella and Edward's first real date (the second time around)....**

**xoxo,**

**~D Pattinson**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 12: Falling for You**

**Song Selections**

"_Lose Yourself" by Eminem_

"_First Date" by Blink 182_

"_Fallin' for You" by Colbie Caillat_

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****Bella POV****

I couldn't believe I had just agreed to spend some time hanging out with Edward. It was not that I didn't want to; it's just that I had decided only two days ago, that that door was closed for good. But in typical girl fashion, how quickly I changed my mind. Our little coffee date was really amazing. There was some awkwardness off and on, but for the most part, I felt very comfortable with him. It certainly did not feel like we had just spent ten years without knowing one another. The teasing and light flirting was very reminiscent of the Edward I once knew, and I just couldn't help myself from wanting to spend more time with him. When Edward mentioned that I could show him some of the sights around the city, I was over the moon excited about the possibility of spending more time with him. I, however, was in such a daze about this fact that I hesitated a bit too long with a response to his question. This then lead to him thinking that I was rejecting the idea, which was quickly followed by a look of utter devastation washing over his previously hopeful face. Not about to be the source of his pain ever again, I immediately went into damage control mode. Without even thinking, my hand reached out to his and gave it a small squeeze for reassurance. I didn't know what it was, but I always had a difficult time keeping my hands to myself around Edward. Apparently I didn't pay close enough attention in kindergarten regarding the importance of this. Oh well! Just as in the past, from the minute I touched his slightly shaking hand I could feel a jolt of electricity between us so strong that I had difficult time breathing. How this man and the simple feeling of his hand in mine was able to take my breath away was beyond me, but I committed that very moment to my memory. From here, I informed him that there was nothing I would enjoy more than being his Chicago tour guide and we finished the rest of our meal in a comfortable rhythm.

But what were these excursions we had planned? I mean, I don't know if I'd go far enough to call them dates, they were more like small outings, I suppose. Dates probably should come after we had reestablished some type of friendship status. We were still getting to know each other again and I didn't think it would be a smart move to just jump back into this blindly. Edward and I had issues that were going to need to be dealt with, big ones at that, subjects that may or may not be the kind that could be forgiven. But honestly, being with him tonight like this made me want to try.

Obviously, there was still a lot of physical attraction between us, at least on my end, but I believed on his too. It amazed me that even to this day he still owned all five of my senses. No one else could light a candle to the spark there was between us. There was not a greater sound than that of Edward's laughter, no greater vision than that of his smile, no greater smell than that of his manly, musky scent, no greater taste than that of his skin, and no greater feeling than that of his lips on my body and my hand encapsulated safely within his. Amazing how in two days, my life could shift so dramatically, that it revolved once again entirely around this man. Yet the thought of this, which should have had me running for the hills, instead made me smile with a giddy excitement. I hadn't expected it to happen, but Edward made me feel young, carefree, vibrant, and most of all content when I was in his presence. Who was this happy person that had taken over my body? This certainly was not the Bella that I had grown into throughout the past ten years. That Bella was cynical, pessimistic, over-thinking and a workaholic. I didn't make decisions on a whim, decisions that could break me forever if they didn't work out.

And just like that, all the anxiety came flooding back into my emotional state. What if this didn't work out? What if I gave him everything I had and he let me down again? I wouldn't be able to survive that. Just as I was getting myself into quite a tizzy, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and was not surprised to see Alice's name. I swear that girl has some kind of ESP with my brain. It makes absolutely no sense, but she always knows just when to call or show up and she always says the right thing. If it wasn't so damn helpful, she'd scare the living shit out of me.

"Hey Ali," I answered after the third ring. "What's going on?"

"Are you okay? What happened at Meinl's? Tell me everything, because I had a really good feeling about the whole thing until like a minute ago, and then I can't explain it, but I just got nervous and had to call you," Alice said in a slight panicky voice.

I groaned. She was so inquisitive sometimes and dammit if she wasn't freaky with her precognition senses. Sometimes, I wondered if we weren't twins rather than cousins, because it made no sense how in sync she was with me. "Stop, Ali. Everything was actually great while we were together. We got along, it was comfortable for the most part, I mean, he was the Edward I remember. The Edward I'm still in love with. And that right there is what just freaked me the hell out. I promised to hang out with him again, to go out alone on some sort of semi-dates and while I'm ecstatic about the prospect of these outings, I'm…"

"Nervous about it all crashing down again?" Alice interrupted. I swear we were like two halves of the same brain sometimes. It really was becoming more and more frightening.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, Alice, I'm nervous. I want to believe him, I want to trust him, but how do I do that? How do I put all my trust and possibly my heart back into the hands of the man that dropped and damaged it so many years ago?"

"Hmm… Well I think you have to follow your heart, and just block out your brain for a little. Your heart tells you it will be alright, but your brain has you rethinking and overanalyzing it all. I don't see him hurting you, not intentionally at least. Do I think he may make some mistakes in this process? Absolutely, he's human. But I think you hold the information that will be the most damaging to your relationship. We just have to figure out the best way to present this information to him and soon Bella, otherwise it has the potential to all blow up in your face. And then, you wouldn't have to worry about him, because you'd be breaking your own damn heart," Alice lectured.

Could I trust my heart to lead me in the right direction? I wasn't sure, but I knew it might be the only way, if I wanted this to work. I knew I would need to tell him about Mackenzie, in fact I wanted to tell him tonight, but when he said it might be better for us to not discuss the old stuff right away, I had reluctantly gave in. My guilt and stubbornness silently rejoiced that he did not want to know, yet my heart ached for him to share in my pain and to understand my reasoning for all my decisions.

"He doesn't want to know, Ali," I answered before she could come up with any ideas of how to present the facts.

"What do you mean 'he doesn't want to know'? He has a right to know Bella, we've been through all this before," Alice sighed, clearly exasperated.

"I know," I said defensively. "I'm not saying I didn't want to tell him, in fact I almost told him tonight, but then he said it would be better for us to not talk about any of our past right now and that he forgave me for any of my past indiscretions. I didn't know what to do. He couldn't forgive me when he doesn't even know what he is forgiving. But I gave in anyway. It was all going so well, I really didn't want to push the issue and I didn't want to ruin our night." God, my excuses sounded pathetic even to my own ears.

"Ah, B. You know I just told him that so he wouldn't pressure you into talking before you were ready. I didn't want you to tell him and get defensive about it if he kept pushing to talk about the past. You know you would totally do that if you weren't ready and if it wasn't under _your_ terms. This is a very sensitive subject and you telling him the wrong way, would have been disastrous for both of you. It wasn't meant to be a free pass, though I should have known Edward would try and do that," she mumbled.

I was becoming agitated and defensive and I knew it, but I couldn't seem to stop it. "Hey, I didn't ask for any damn free pass. It's not my fault if he is shutting me down for now. I don't plan on keeping it a secret forever, but I'm going to wait until I think we are both ready for it."

Alice groaned, "You're making a mistake, mark my words, but whatever, I'm not going to sit here and fight with you about it. You're an adult and you are making your own bed. Whatever will be, will be. I'm moving on. So when is this date scheduled for?"

I was still a little pissed off with her attitude, but I didn't want to fight with her either, so I relented. "Friday after the game if everything goes as planned. We're going to go check out some sights, I'm thinking of starting with the aquarium since it's still pretty chilly out."

Chicago had tons of fun things to offer a person new to the city. I decided that we definitely needed to start his little "Welcome to Chicago, Edward Masen" adventure at the Shedds Aquarium. I was completely confident, between the aquarium being one of my favorite places and my stellar knowledge regarding it, we would have a great time. In reality, I have visited Shedd's more times than I care to admit. I mean, the penguins in the Polar Play Zone and I are most definitely on a first name basis… if they could talk that is. But, whatever! They made me laugh and we all need a little laugher from time to time, right?

"Well that would be good. It's kind of dark and intimate, but yet still playful at the same time. It should work out perfectly." I could almost hear Alice smiling through the phone.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the blessing Ali. Not that it would have changed my mind either way, you know."

She laughed out loud suddenly, "I know, but I can't help it. You know me. Alright, I'll let you go. I'm feeling better about it all now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow at the game. Night, Bella."

I hung up and stretched out on my bed falling asleep quickly.

The next two days flew by in a blur. Both games were absolutely disastrous. We lost both and of course, Milton Bradley had gotten ejected on Thursday afternoon and had been suspended. I was _not_ resigning him next year no matter what Emmett said. That man pushed my buttons to the extreme, worked my very last nerve on a daily basis, and I just couldn't have someone toxic like that on the roster. Nope, his hot headed ass had to go! However, we were paying him too much to have him sitting out, so for the rest of this season I was just going to have to deal. Somehow I knew it was going to be a long season where he was concerned. Ugh.

Edward had played pretty well and seemed to be adjusting well in the current lineup. We were able to give each other quick meaningful smiles when we passed in the building, but otherwise we didn't get to talk much. Though I knew Mike had seen our kiss, we both decided it would be best if we kept this whole thing with us private from the rest of the organization, including Emmett and Rose for now. I knew they were both so protective over me, and at this point I needed to feel this out without interference and opinions. If things went well after our first outing, I figured I'd fill them in then. No need to prematurely bring any more stress into my life because any more of it would definitely be sending me to a plastic surgeon in the near future. I mean, I am all for their magic, don't get me wrong, but I just don't have time for it at the moment. So, the man with the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen and I would just keep it our little secret for the time being.

By Friday, I had turned into a little ball of nervous energy. I looked up the hours of operation for the Aquarium and groaned when I realized it closed at five in the evening. We'd barely be leaving the stadium before it closed, which immediately bummed me out a little. While a tad childish, I was really looking forward to taking Edward to one of my favorite places. Knowing that wallowing in my disappointment wasn't going to get me anywhere, I resolved that we could easily go there another time. With that, I called Edward in the morning to let him know and we instead decided on seeing a movie. I figured that was harmless enough. We wouldn't be able to do much talking inside, but I figured maybe we could grab coffee or dessert afterwards. Saturday's game was also a one o'clock start, so it would have to be an early night anyways.

The game went smoothly with us beating St. Louis eight to seven, however by the time we both got out of the stadium it was already nearing six and Edward wanted to go home to change. We decided reluctantly to forgo the movie and instead we met once again at Meinl's and had coffee. It was nice and we talked a little more, but mostly about the game and the team in general. I'm not going to lie, I was a little disappointed. It was not at all how I had imagined our first rendezvous going, but as they say, "patience is a virtue," so I figured I was simply going to need to practice being patient. _Yeah, good luck with that, Swan._

Saturday we had our third game against St. Louis. It was a nail-biter and went into extra innings. Edward had started off zero for five and it literally hurt me to watch the disappointment in his face over his performance. However, with two outs in the eleventh inning he pounded a ball over the left field wall for a walk-off, two run homer to win the game for us. I couldn't have been more proud of him and the team for sticking in there for a victory. I silently cheered for him, but was unable to get too excited as I didn't want to tip off Emmett, Rose or Esme that something was going on there. Alice, however, cheered loudly and obnoxiously enough for the both of us. The team decided to go out and celebrate together after the win, so unfortunately I didn't get to see Edward again tonight. I did, however, send him a text to let him know how proud I was of him today. He gave a quick smiley back and said he'd call me when he got home. Unfortunately, I was down in the gym when he called and didn't hear the phone over my iPod. When I saw his missed call, I quickly checked the message, and was disappointed to find out he said he was going to bed early so he could get in some extra batting practice in the morning. I debated calling him back, but didn't want to bother him if he was already settled in. Shit, this patience thing is a hell of a lot harder than I thought. No wonder I was never very good at waiting. Humph!

The next morning was very dreary and the rain was coming down in buckets which kind of reminded me of Forks. The game ended up being postponed, so Edward and I decided we would finally hit up the Aquarium. On one hand, I was so excited to be with him for an entire afternoon, but on the other, I was also now freaking out. Ok, perhaps freaking out wasn't the best way to describe my feelings because it was more like my mind racing a million miles a minute, followed by the urge to run as fast as I could away, combined with the giddiness of a girl going on her first every date. Hell, multiple that by ten and then perhaps that would be a better representation of my current feelings. The date, and yes, I'm calling it a date, was finally here. We had put it off for so long now, that I felt more apprehension for it to go perfectly. No pressure though, right? I mean, how much pressure could a place with silly-ass penguins really be? _Keep telling yourself that, Swan. Keep telling yourself that._

What to wear? What to wear? I could go with jeans… but maybe I should wear something dressier like a skirt or a cute dress? If I went with the jeans, should I wear a lighter weight shirt and bring a jacket or should I wear a sweater and go without a coat? It was supposed to be sixty-two degrees today, but it would feel cooler because of the wind and rain. Should I wear a pair of heels or should I wear shoes that are more casual and comfortable to walk around in? Then again, I barely own any shoes that don't have a heel to them and I certainly wouldn't want to wear anything that would get ruined if they got wet.

Forget the clothes, how about my hair? Would it look better up, like in a sexy ponytail, or do I go down, as I know this is how Edward used to like it, but then I don't know if it should be straight or have a hint of a loose curl to it? Once again, the rain would most likely wreak havoc on my hair if it was down, so maybe that part was easy. I suppose I will have to bring some type of a purse. Do I carry a shoulder bag or a handbag? If I carry a shoulder bag, it could get in the way and act as a boundary between Edward and me, but it also could free up my hands when needed and would fit an umbrella. On the other hand, however, a handbag would be smaller but not being able to put it on my shoulder could be annoying. Fuck it! Maybe I should just go naked because this would solve the entire "What should Bella wear on her date with Edward" problem. Ugh!

As I stood inside my massive walk-in closet staring at the endless array of clothing possibilities, (which by the way, I now realized that one indeed _could_ have too many wardrobe options) a million thoughts were running through my mind. Aside from the fact that I was drawing a complete and utter blank as to what the hell to wear today on my outing with Edward, I couldn't get over the fact that the two of us were actually going on a date together. Sure, visiting the Shedd Aquarium wasn't anything formal but it was at least a start. Today was giving us both the chance to get reacquainted with one another as we were now, instead of holding onto the images of who we were ten years ago. After speaking to Alice I realized that in order for there to be an "Edward and Bella: Part Two," it was imperative for us to accept the past, but not dwell on it, and begin the tedious task of communicating honestly and finding our ways back to the other. Which I'm not going to lie, I wasn't totally looking forward to, but it had to be done.

After getting together for coffee a second time a few days ago, I had been unable to think about anything but Edward. If I am being completely honest with myself, I still couldn't get over how utterly handsome he was even after all this time. The way he looked sitting across from me at the table… there really were no words, as looking like him should be illegal. It's not even fair for one person to look as damn beautiful as Edward Masen. Really, statues should be erected in his honor. Aside from his obvious outward appearance, he was more beautiful than I remembered on the inside. If it was even possible, I think he was more kind and caring then he was as a teenager. And that is saying a lot, because Edward was brought up with some of the most amazing qualities. He was absurdly chivalrous and polite as a kid and those same qualities have only seemed to magnify in the few short times we have spent together as adults.

I was still freaking out about telling him about Mackenzie. If he would ever be able to forgive me for giving her up, I knew that he needed to understand the person I had become and the reasons behind such an act. Did I think that this was something he would ever be able to truly forgive? God no, as I have never really forgiven myself, but I hoped that he would be able to really reach deep down inside his own fragile heart and find the forgiveness that I knew was the only way for us both to leave the past where it belonged, once and for all. I know that neither of us will be able to forget, but understanding… well, I guess that only time will be able to tell.

Knowing that focusing on the "what ifs" of our complicated past wasn't going to calm my obvious jitters regarding today's date with Edward, I decided to think about some of the highlights from our first coffee meeting almost a week ago. One of the best parts about getting together for coffee was the fact that it felt like no time had passed at all. As odd as it sounds, from the moment I sat down across from him at the table, I felt like a different version of myself. Instead of guarded, I felt light. Instead of lost, I felt home. For the past ten years, I have spent every day attempting to live the false version of myself. Being strong and independent aren't two things that come naturally to me, especially because I don't feel either of them. Before having coffee with Edward, I felt broken, alone, and was simply waiting for the bottom of my tangled web of falsities to unravel right before my eyes. However, after I opened the door and set foot into Julius Meinl, any sadness or nervousness I felt regarding Edward immediately drifted away. Thinking back, he was so damn cute the entire time. I could tell he was attempting to be stealthy and hide his obvious anxieties, but that silly boy couldn't fool me. For instance, when I walked in he was so preoccupied with fiddling with his Blackberry that he didn't even notice that I was watching him. It was kind of adorable. And when he told me that I looked pretty, he sounded like a nervous sixteen year-old boy on a first date. And of course, always the gentleman, he pulled out my chair for me and ordered for the both of us, which I have to admit was super cute. But as the time passed, I could tell that he was feeling more comfortable and he slowly started letting the Edward I knew and loved out to play. Case in point, him feeding me and then stealing food off of my plate. That sneaky little shit, took food from my plate without sharing from his and then giggled, yes giggled, like a toddler who had gotten away with a piece of candy from behind his mother's back. Right then and there I made a mental note to get back at him somehow.

_Payback is a risky game there, Masen. Oh the ways I would love to get you back for that. Nobody and I mean nobody, messes with my Nutella crepes._

Quickly shaking my head from side to side, as I knew my little thought about payback would only lead to me getting all flustered, I truly remembered how much I loved the playful side of him because it always brought a smile to my face. Not only did I smile because Edward usually did during his playful times, I also smiled because these were the moments where I always felt carefree.

We were starting to pick up the pieces of our broken lives together and working our way back to one another because, let's face it, without one of us in the life of the other, we were not complete. That this time, we were mature enough to understand the magnitude of our feelings and just how special our type of love was.

There were very few times in life where one was given a second chance and that was exactly what we were given… a second time around. Knowing that "do overs" were rare, I knew that today's date needed to be something that was light-hearted and fun, yet a way for us to connect with each other in ways that were missing ten years ago.

I could be so easily distracted with my thoughts, I swear I might have Attention Deficit Disorder. Focus Bella, back on the dilemma at hand, what the hell you're going to wear.

_Think Bella, think. A trip to the damn aquarium shouldn't be this difficult._

About to lose it on the annoying as shit voice inside of my already confused head, I knew that I needed a fashion intervention and it needed to be quick. The expert I had in mind wouldn't be afraid to kick me in the ass if necessary, which in this situation would probably be the case. In one fail swoop, she would be able to look into my ransacked closet and pick out the best outfit for the occasion. I _really_ wanted to be a big girl about my wardrobe for the day and avoid the "let's dress Bella game," but after standing in this same spot for god knows how long, I realized that desperate times called for desperate measures. After sighing and reluctantly admitting to a clothing failure, I knew that concession was the only option.

Without even looking at my Blackberry, I pressed "2" on the speed dial and brought the phone slowly up to my ear.

"Bella," she said in her all-knowing, too chipper voice "I've been waiting for your call my dear cousin. How long have you been standing in your closet? Thirty minutes?"

Inhaling through the nose and out through the mouth, I sighed and quietly said "Alice, you got me. I need help. What do you suggest?"

Asking such a question was like making a deal with the devil, as you immediately knew your life was no longer your own. I had no choice though, I was readily admitting to defeat of my unmerciful closet. Dreading the inevitable, I could hear her over-excited squeal on the line followed by a clapping of her hands. I cringed and moved the phone as far from my ringing ear as possible, just as I heard the words I most dreaded. The very same words I'd been cringing at since I was a child and had absolutely no fashion sense. The words I hoped honestly to never to hear again.

"I knew you would come to me. Who's your fashion Goddess? You better fucking say it, Bella."

I cursed under my breath, but managed to mumble the words I was programmed to say. "You, Ali. You are my fashion Goddess."

"Well just as long as you recognize that." I could literally feel the proud smirk she was sporting right through the phone and dammit if it didn't make me smile too. "I swear I could see this happening since this morning, Bella. I can't believe it took you this long to call. I'll be over in ten minutes to get you dressed."

Nine minutes and fifty-four seconds later Alice was bounding through my door. She bypassed me with barely an acknowledgment and went right to my bedroom closet tearing through the clothes like she was on a mission. It was honestly fascinating to see how her brain worked. Calculating her options like it was a complicated calculus equation.

"You know, this would have been a lot easier had you picked up all the clothes you threw all over the place on your own failed attempt. Have some respect for the clothes, Bella. I can barely see what I'm working with here. Remind me to pull some stuff for you this week at work. This closet is too beautiful to be this disgraceful."

I couldn't help the quiet snort that slipped from mouth. Giggling, I rolled my eyes just in time to see Alice whip around at lightning speed to give me the stink-eye. "You know, Ali if I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. Hate means love. Hate means love. I return the sentiment. Now go do something useful like your hair and makeup," she murmured returning to her task at hand.

Twenty minutes later I walked back into my bedroom with my hair and makeup done. I decided on light makeup and left my hair naturally curly pulling the top back into a braid along the crown. Alice had laid out a white v-neck short sleeve sweater a pair of distressed skinny jeans, and my knee high brown boots.

"Is this dressy enough?" I asked her in complete confusion.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Are you questioning my fashion wisdom, B? Seriously? It's a day date. At an aquarium. If you go any more dressed up, you'll look out of place. I promise, it's perfect and Edward will love it."

I dressed quickly, realizing I had only twenty minutes before I was supposed to be picking up Edward. Alice smiled when you saw me, nodding enthusiastically at her final masterpiece. I had to admit the outfit did look good. I just hoped to God that Edward wasn't more dressed up then I was. Alice kissed me good-bye and wished me luck as I gave myself a final look and then ran out the door only minutes after her.

My hands shook on the steering wheel of my car in nervousness as I drove to Edward's place. I flipped through my iPod desperate to find some music to calm my nerves. When I reached his place it took everything I had to knock on the door. My head was spinning and my breathing was slightly labored. I was about to see the inside of his home which would change things and I knew it. Once I walked in his door, it would make this all more personal, more intimate. This was not a casual meet and greet at the coffee shop. This was for real. _Fuck, please let me be ready for this. _

A moment later all my nerves melted away. Edward's beautiful crooked grin met me from the other side of the door and in that moment I knew for sure, I was ready for this. He looked incredible in his chocolate brown form fitting sweater, jeans and boots. And damn, if those boots didn't do crazy things to my insides. He smirked when he noticed me checking him out and of course my frickin' traitorous blush spread across my cheeks and neck.

Always the gentleman, Edward didn't try to embarrass me. Instead he ignored the blush and invited me inside. "You look beautiful as always, Bella," he complimented quietly, his cocky demeanor replaced by a boyish shyness.

I blushed again, relishing in his sweet words. _My lord, was I seventeen again?_ Attempting to change the direction of the conversation, I took a look around his living room. It was impeccably decorated in soft neutral beiges and dark chocolate browns. It was warm and inviting. "Did you decorate this all on your own, Edward? This place is amazing." I took in the art on the wall and the pictures on the fireplace mantel and was blown away. The room was worthy of its own spread in a magazine.

Laughing, he blushed lightly. Yep you heard me correctly, he fucking blushed. Ahh….precious! "Um, no. I'd have to give credit to your Aunt Esme and my Mom for all this. Though, I did pick out the light on the wall over there," he said pointing to a painted glass light box with a scrolling design on it.

I smiled widely at his admission and chuckled, knowing that he was lucky he even got to pick out the light. My aunt was a force to be reckoned with when it came to decorating. It was easy to see where Alice got her enthusiasm from. "So, you ready to get out of here and check out some penguins, Masen?"

"Penguins? Um, no. But the sharks, those I'm looking forward to," he winked.

Why every man had to seem so macho and pick sharks as his favorite sea creature I have no idea. I rolled my eyes, knowing Edward was a big mush on the inside and would probably be most intrigued by the damn sea otters. "Whatever you say," I quipped punching him lightly on the arm.

He laughed and led me out the door back down to the parking lot. "Damn, Swan," he smirked giving a low whistle. "When did your taste in cars improve?" Edward looked over my Ferrari appreciatively admiring the specs and other things only men gave two shits about.

"Um, I'm sorry," I said sarcastically raising my right eyebrow. "Are you implying that that stupid, shiny Volvo you drove around was somehow better than my Ford Mustang?"

Edward chuckled loudly. "Don't mess with the Volvo. We had some good times in that car if I remember correctly." I rolled my eyes, but damn if he didn't have me there, so I couldn't argue with him.

"Get in. Before we miss the Aquarium again," I said in mock-authority. Edward continued to laugh but got in the passenger seat.

The drive was comfortable. Conversation passed easily between us as I pointed out landmarks that we passed along the way. Edward jumped out of the car when we arrived at Shedd and held an umbrella above my head so I wouldn't get soaked when I got out of the car. It was the little things like this, that I knew would make me eventually fall head-over-heels for this man again. Well, I don't really know if I could fall head-over-heels for him again because I never really got over him in the first place so…. I guess learning how to love him completely, both mentally and physically, would be a better way of putting it.

We decided to start in the Amazon Rising section and checked out the piranhas, rays, anacondas, tarantulas, and crocodiles. "Can we promise to never visit here? Jesus, these animals are all scary as hell. I wouldn't want to come face to face with even one of them. Fuck I'll be lucky if I don't have nightmares tonight about that damn spider," Edward stated. I laughed lightly, but was not able to ignore the fact that my heart sped up when he mentioned us visiting any place together in the future. Um yeah, so I guess a trip to the rainforest is out of the question for us then.

Next we headed to the Caribbean Reef and watched the rays, sharks and green sea turtles interact in the extremely large circular habitat. "See, this is much more like it. Though I'm not saying I want to get in there and swim with them or anything, but come on, you have to admire the beauty of it all," he said.

"You are so freaking corny, Edward. I swear," I laughed shaking my head at him. He wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out at me, making me laugh harder.

In the Rivers and Islands and Lakes sections we observed many different strange and colorful species but moved on quickly to the Local Waters and Oceans sections marveling in the giant octopus, jellyfish and river otters. Not that I wasn't impressed by these creatures but I was ready to get to my favorite parts of the aquarium. We walked into the large Oceanarium to see the wide array of mammals. We started at the beluga whales. They are one of the coolest looking animals I had ever seen. Two of the whales were pregnant which apparently is almost unheard of in captivity. The calfs were due in the winter and it made me excited as I now had a new excuse to come back and visit.

Next we visited the sea lions and sea otters. Edward laughed at their antics with each other. He talked about going to see the shows at Sea World with his parents when he was a child and how much he missed those times. His laugh was such a beautiful sound and I made another mental note that someday we would have to go to Sea World so I could try and bring some of that joy back to him. Look at you, Bella. Now you're all out planning for vacations in the future. Pretty positive this is going to work out, aren't we now?

I shook myself out of my thoughts as we entered my most favorite part of the aquarium, The Polar Play Zone. It was the area that kept the penguins and just like every other time I arrive here, I squealed in delight as I watched them swimming and playing on the surface. Edward shot me a look. "What? They're my favorite. I could sit and here and watch them all day. I mean, what can I say, the penguins make me happy."

"Well I have to say, I'm a fan of anything that makes you happy and smile like that, so I guess I'm going to have to like them, too."

I rolled my eyes and again reached out to slap him softly on the arm. _Was I honestly resorting to this middle school type of flirting?_ I just couldn't control myself like a normal adult in his presence. Edward however, with his amazing hand-eye coordination was too quick, reading my move easily, and catching my hand before it could make contact. "Now, now, Ms Swan are you trying to beat me up? I won't be able to perform at my peak level if you damage my throwing arm. I'm not so sure if my other boss would approve of this abuse," he smirked.

I giggled and tried to pull my hand back, but Edward held it tightly. "Uh uh ah. What do you think you are doing? For my own safety and for the safety of those around us, I think I'm going to have to hold on to this weapon my dear. I'm confiscating your hand for the rest of this visit since you honestly don't seem to have enough control to keep your hands off of me."

The smug bastard knew me too damn well. "Oh please, Edward. Don't flatter yourself my dear boy. If you wanted to hold my hand you could have just asked." I stated as nonchalantly as I could while rolling my eyes, but damn if I wasn't jumping up and down like a giddy little girl on the inside.

He gave me that crooked grin, but said nothing, leaving our hands swinging between us. We continued to walk through the exhibits and after a few minutes, decided to see the Planet Earth 4-D show. As we sat watching the fish swim on the large screen in our silly glasses, I subconsciously laced my fingers through his. As soon as I realized what I had done, I peeked at him through the corner of my eye and saw a shy smile spread across his face. _ Fuck, this man would seriously be the death of me._

After the show we headed back towards the main entrance. I told Edward that I wanted to stop in the bathroom before we left, but really I was hoping to get him something to commemorate our first date. He agreed to meet me back in this spot in about five minutes. It would be a race to get him something cool, but it would make it all the more fun. Once Edward turned his back, I ran down the hall and flew into the first store I could I find. There were snow globes, ornaments and other breakable merchandise inside. I remembered Edward telling me how much he loved the Christmas holidays when we were back in high school and I could only hope that he bothered to do the whole tree thing now that he was on his own. I found the cutest little sea otter ornament and had it wrapped up quickly and stuck it in my purse. I got back to our meeting place only seconds before he did.

"What do you got in that bag there, Masen?" I said trying to peek into it. Hoping to hell, he had remembered how much I loved Swedish fish and had gone into buy some in the candy store.

He snatched the bag away from my hands with a smirk. "Patience my dear. I'll show you when we get out to the car. Now give me back that hand, as we have not yet left these premises and you are still a danger to those around you."

"Fine," I mumbled smiling at him shyly and once again entwining our fingers together. Our hands fit together so perfectly. Like puzzle pieces being melded together, the same way my heart felt like it was being melded back together when I was in his presence.

I was so not ready for this day to end with him and was about to bring up getting some dinner when Edward spoke up first. "So I was thinking..."

"Oh lord, don't hurt yourself, Edward" I interrupted with a laugh.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny Bella," he said sarcastically looking at me with the most devilishly handsome grin on his face. "Now let me finish. I was thinking if you want whatever I have in this bag right here, that I'm going to need you to agree to go to dinner with me. Right now, I mean, not later this week or anything."

I put on my best hurt face. "Are you saying you don't want to go out with me again this week? I thought we were having fun," I whined in a fairly pathetic voice. I should win an Oscar for this performance.

He chuckled. "Oh, Bella. You know you can't act or lie for shit. I don't know why you even try." _Well so much for that Oscar, I guess._ "Anyways, you know what I meant. I'm not ready for this to be over yet. Say you'll come to dinner with me?"

I laughed as Edward tried to give me his best puppy dog eyes. As if I had any intention of denying him. "Of course, I'll go to dinner. What did you have in mind?"

A huge smile spread across his face and I had the sudden urge to kiss him, but looked down quickly to try and clear my mind. "Something out of the way, hidden where we can talk and get something decent to eat. Know of any place like that?"

I looked back up meeting his eyes and smiled while nodding me head. "I might. Now what's in that bag," I teased.

"Um... well, it's nothing really," he smiled shyly pulling out the most adorable plush penguin I'd ever seen. "I just thought since you liked them so much, and I wanted to thank you for agreeing to come here with me and show me around town." I bit my lower lip and smiled up at him. He was too damn cute for his own good. A-fucking-dorable to say the least.

"I love it. Thank you," I said sincerely. "I um, might have gotten you something too." I reached into my purse pulling out the wrapped ornament and handing it to him. He looked at me in shock, but took it and started to pull it open.

"Bella, you didn't have to do this," he breathed.

I watched him as a far away, sad look seemed to take over his features. I panicked and began to stutter something about how I could take it back or whatever if he didn't like it. His eyes shot to mine at once and he reached out and took my hand bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. "No, no, no. I love it. I'm sorry, it just brought back some memories for a minute. Honestly, it is so perfect you have no idea. Thank you." He tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I cursed myself for most likely ruining the whole day, but gave a small smile anyway.

I drove to McFadden's, which was actually better known for its nightlife, but had good food and on a Sunday without football or a baseball game, I figured it was kind of perfect for a quiet, low-key dinner. Unfortunately, with Edward's change of mood I wasn't sure if quiet was really the best choice for us now. The last thing I wanted was for us to go back to being awkward again.

The restaurant had sort of an Irish Pub atmosphere. It wasn't fancy or anything inside, just the typical mahogany wood and brass features. The place had some incredible homemade bleu cheese chips and was probably best known for their Shepherd's pie, but it also had the typical American pub-type food. We were shown to our table by the hostess, who in my opinion was a little over-zealous in her attention to Edward. He as always, smiled and charmed her pants off, without even really saying anything to her. That damn dazzling smile. I don't even think he knew what it did to people. Or did he really know the power that smile had on the unfortunate soul he unleashed it on? Sneaky.

Once we were seated back in the dining room section, we both ordered a draft beer. I figured I might need something to take the edge off anyway. Thankfully, Edward was the first to speak after our awkward exchange in the car. "So what's good here? You want to split an appetizer or something?"

I smiled. "Um, yeah sure. That sounds good. I'm partial to the homemade chips with the bleu cheese, but the wings are good too. Whatever you want, is fine with me."

He stared at me for a second, looking like he wanted to say something, but just then the waiter came back and brought us our drinks. Edward went ahead and ordered the chips appetizer while he was there. Once the waiter left, he cleared his throat and stared down at the table. I didn't really know what to do and was starting to feel uncomfortable. Since I'm a complete social moron, I blurted out a question about the team just as he was about to speak.

Edward furrowed his brows and looked up at me. "Everything is good at work, Bella, but come on, you know I don't want to discuss that stuff now. And I really don't want you to start acting like whatever I want is "fine." You know I hate that damn word. So can we just drop all this weirdness and start over again?"

His voice was soft, encouraging, not threatening at all and yet I nodded hesitantly. I don't know why. I had been having such a good time, and now I had gotten myself into this funk, and I just couldn't seem to shake it. I wanted to know what made him look so sad in the car. I wanted to actually talk, like really talk, but I was so nervous around him and I didn't know how to start a conversation. It all seemed so natural when we were teenagers and though once we got going now, everything seemed fine, there was always this underlying tension and discomfort that I couldn't quite place. Fuck, I was totally freaking myself out. The last thing I needed to happen here was some damn anxiety attack.

_Calm the fuck down, Bella. You're going to make him think you are crazy. Get it together and stop ruining this whole day._

"Bella," he breathed quietly as his hand reached across the table.

I was so caught up in my mental lashing of myself that his touch took me by surprise and I flinched, pulling my hand away quickly. _Shit. What the hell was wrong with me?_ My eyes flew to his, afraid to see his reaction. What I saw there was the picture of patience and kindness. Keeping our eyes locked, he again reached his hand out and took mine in his, squeezing it lightly. His touch allowed me to breathe; I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breath before.

"Bella what's wrong? What's going on?" he inquired, concern etched across his face. I apparently was losing control of all of my rational thinking and functioning, because the next thing I knew a tear slipped from my eye and began rolling down my cheek.

Edward's eyes widened and he quickly slid out of his side of the booth and in next to me. "Baby, please don't cry." He put his hands on either side of my face, looking deep in my eyes. "What is it? Please tell me," he practically begged.

_He called me Baby._ I loved when he called me that. I didn't know if it was something that just slipped out or if he still felt that much affection towards me, but it made me happy. I wanted to tell him what was going on. I wanted this so badly. However, just as I opened my mouth to answer, a young waitress walked around the corner and must have recognized Edward for the first time. She gasped and stared at us, forgetting about the step that was next to our table. The next thing I knew, her tray, which thankfully was empty, had gone sailing out in front of her and she landed with a loud thud and a small scream, face first on the ground. Edward whipped his head around and jumped out of the booth checking to see if she was okay. The girl jumped up in obvious embarrassment, began apologizing to him profusely, and then practically ran back into the kitchen.

Startled by the incident, Edward looked at me in worry, not sure what he should have done and dammit, I just couldn't help it, but my face broke out in a smile and I started giggling uncontrollably.

"Shh. Bella, don't laugh. She could have been hurt," he dead-panned. Unfortunately, the seriousness in his voice just made me laugh harder. I honestly wasn't laughing at the poor girl. I was laughing for the all the ridiculousness that had happened since we walked into the damn restaurant. My emotions seemed to be all over the place. The good news was that it seemed to break me out of my funk.

"I'm sorry. It's not funny, I know," I said trying with all my might to hold in my laughter. I bit both lips into my mouth, but I still couldn't control it and the next thing I knew horribly obnoxious noises were escaping from my nostrils. I slapped my hands to my face to try and get the control back.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he said laughing. "Shame on you."

We both were laughing at this point and I was glad that our waiter decided to appear with our appetizer just then and break the spell. Both of us calming down when we smelled the delicious aroma of the melted cheese.

"Mmm... yummy," Edward said fanning his mouth as he stuck the piping hot chips in his mouth.

"Well don't hurt yourself trying to get to them. Give them a second to cool off, I promise I'm not going to eat them all or anything," I smiled playfully.

He smiled in return, obviously thankful that whatever was happening between us before seemed to be over. "Please, you act like I don't know you. Don't think I don't remember how you could finish an entire pizza on your own when you were hungry enough."

My mouth popped open in surprise and I elbowed him in the side causing him to choke a little and us both to laugh. The waiter came back a few moments later to ask how everything was and we decided to go ahead and place our dinner order. Edward decided on the Philly cheesesteak and I ordered a California wrap.

"So what was all of that back there? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, Swan?" He asked once the server left again.

We continued picking at the chips and I prepared myself to explain. I blushed over my girlish over-reaction. "Yeah, sorry about all that. I don't know what came over me. Honestly?" I asked. He nodded so I continued. "Well it had to do with what happened in the car. I could see that the gift upset you, Edward and well, I just feel like I ruined everything."

"What did you ruin? I told you I loved the gift. I meant it, Bella. Really. It's, well it's perfect actually," he stated vehemently.

"You know, you forget I know you too. I'm not so blind to notice that when you smiled afterward it wasn't a real smile. You were solemn and your thoughts seemed a mile away. And before, well before, everything was going so well. I feel like a ruined the whole day by giving you that. Then my nerves just took over and I couldn't seem to get a hold of myself."

Edward grabbed my hand bringing it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. "Bella, please don't hold in what you are feeling. You can tell me anything. I want to know everything that is going on up in here," he said kissing my forehead. The feel of his lips on my forehead nearly taking my breath away.

We were interrupted again when our waiter brought the food to the table. We both ordered another beer and started digging into our meals. Once he came back again with our drinks, Edward cleared his throat.

"So before, the reason I got like that, was because the ornament reminded me so much of my childhood and times with my parents. My mom is crazy about Christmas and has always gone overboard. My dad just always rolled his eyes, but never tried to discourage her when she came home with new decorations every year. Our house had become almost like the Griswold's at one point," he laughed, the faraway look still in his eyes. "And well, I told you about how we always went to Sea World and so that sorta just reminded me of some of those times too. I miss those family memories. I haven't even had my own Christmas tree since I've lived on my own. It's almost kind of sad. Things just aren't the same without my dad," he said quietly.

He looked up at me slowly, immediately noticing the confusion on my face. "He passed awhile back," he added.

My eyes were wide. I knew how much his father meant to him. That must have been heartbreaking when he died. "God, Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

He smiled. "No, I know. It's okay," he said shaking it off. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "The reason the gift was so perfect was because, it kinda felt like you were giving me that permission to start over, to really move on. It took me by surprise at first the feelings I felt, but it was kinda what I needed. So thank you for that," he declared kissing my hand once more.

Dinner conversation morphed after that into easy banter and we talked and shared another drink before heading out a little after nine when the music got louder and the crowd got more boisterous. The evening inevitably had to come to an end, though I wouldn't have been opposed to a few more hours with Edward. Unfortunately, he had practice in the morning and I had some meetings scheduled, so it would need to be an early night for both of us.

"Have dinner with me tomorrow night. Please, Bella?" Edward suddenly said his eyes pleading with me. In the dim light of the car, he looked so young, so much like the boy I had originally fallen in love with. I had to swallow back the emotions that it stirred in me.

I nodded, but then thought maybe it would be better to spend some time together alone. While I enjoyed the outing today, it would be nice to not have people staring at us and interrupting our time together for Edward's autograph. "Um, would you consider coming over to my place? I could make us some dinner and then maybe we could watch a movie or something?"

That beautiful crooked smile appeared on his face and he nodded just as we pulled into his building. "Yeah, I'd like that Bella. So I guess I'll call you tomorrow after practice and you can give me some directions over to your place." He paused staring deep into my eyes. Was he going to kiss me? I wanted that so much, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if we were ready for that yet.

"I had a great time with you today. More fun than I've had in... damn, I can't even remember," he said reaching out for my hand and rubbing it gently with his thumb. His stare continued to penetrate deep into my soul. Slowly he exhaled. "We'll take this slow. Okay, Bells? Let's just see where this goes, there's no expectations." He raised my hand to his mouth and lightly kissed each knuckle before rubbing his nose lightly along the ridges. "Goodnight, Bella. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he uttered quietly before slipping out of the car.

I watched as he walked back inside the building turning just as he got to the door and giving me a little wave. I grabbed the bag he left on the seat with my penguin inside and was surprised to feel something else was in there. I switched on the light in the car and saw the bag of Swedish Fish inside. I smiled brightly and felt my heartbeat pick up and begin racing frantically. Was I in over my head? Maybe, but for the first time in years, I didn't care. I was going to follow my heart, not my brain.

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**A/N****: We can't wait to see what you all thought. Remember to click on that little review button below and send us some love or criticism or whatever. We'll take all of it willingly. Also, there will be a small outtake from Edward's POV from this chapter sent to those of you who do review as an incentive.**

** All pictures and outfits from this chapter are displayed on our blog page. Please go check it out. We post chapter teasers there. http://dpattinson(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

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**Stories We're Reading (And suggest you do, too):**

**Laid Bare by Brits23 http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/**

**This is Not My Life by isakassees http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5540509/1/**

**Superman Complex by cevuplay http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4874063/1/**

**Bad Press by HappyWanderer http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5417343/1/**


	13. Dinner and a Movie

**Author's Note: Hello readers! So good to see all of you here again. Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. The next two chapters are going to be more fluff, romantic stuff, so I suggest you enjoy it while it lasts. ::Evil laugh:: Just kidding. **

**The Indie Awards are in full swing now. Voting started on Feb. 20****th**** and while I was on there voting for one of my favorite fics, I was shocked to see my own story up there. The Hot Corner was nominated for Best Secondary Characterization. Which means it is for best secondary character that is not a Cullen, Bella or Jake. I have no idea who nominated us, but whoever it was I thank you and am greatly humbled. If you are interested in voting, I will put the link for you at the bottom of the chapter.**

**A few other story announcements will be at the end so make sure you guys check them out at the end. The end note is epically long so I apologize in advance, but please check it out.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 13: Dinner and a Movie**

**Song Selections:**

"_Memory" by Barry Manilow_

"_Whataya Want from Me" by Adam Lambert_

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****Edward's POV****

"Let's go, Masen. Focus for Christ's sake. You're head has been everywhere except for on this field this morning."

My head snapped back to attention as I heard Coach's words right before a line drive came buzzing at my head. My left hand darted up and the ball smacked straight into the webbing, narrowly missing my nose. _Shit._ The last thing I needed was to show up to Bella's with a bruised and broken nose and eye socket. Yeah, that shit would look fucking great for sure.

"Sorry, Coach," I replied throwing the ball back towards home plate.

"Glad to see you're alive over there. I wasn't sure. Now get your head in the fucking game and focus on practice before I have you staying afterwards to run additional drills," he said smacking another hard grounder my way down the line.

I dove face first for the ball, grabbing it just barely in time, then scrambled back to my knee and whizzed the ball over to first base. I heard Newton snicker from home plate and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to flip him the bird. Needless to say, my relationship with that fucker certainly had not improved.

What Coach hadn't realized was that my mind was not "everywhere," but simply in one place. _Bella._ I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her and our date all last night. I slept terribly, tossing and turning wanting Monday to be here already, and practice to be over so I could see her again. Around three am I got out of bed and jumped on my computer to do a search for flower meanings. I wanted to bring some to her house when I came over for dinner, but I had no idea what they should be… hence the online flower search. I mean despite the woman Bella was today, to me, she was still the same shy, simple, yet completely complex, sexy girl I fell hopelessly in love with all those years ago. And because of this, I knew that she would appreciate any type of flowers because that was who she was, but to me "any type of flower" wasn't nearly enough. For her, I would want to give her the world and that still wouldn't be enough because then I'd want to give her the entire damn universe. Yeah, I know, it's a viscous cycle. As for the flowers, I needed something that said "I adore you" and "thank you for understanding" and "please forgive me for all my past mistakes." Granted that might have been asking for a lot, but I was hoping the florist could help me figure it all out. "Go big or go home" I always say, so I needed to do just that because home…well that was wherever Bella was.

Yesterday could not have been more perfect. Well I suppose a kiss at the end of the night would have made it better, but I was trying to be good and follow Alice's advice on taking it slow. There was definitely a point in the car and the restaurant where Bella clammed back up and didn't want to talk. I could literally see the insecurity and worry written on her face and it nearly broke me. I wanted so much for her to just talk to me and to feel completely comfortable confiding in me. And she did. Finally. Though it took a very unfortunate distraction for her to loosen up a little.

When she explained what she had been feeling and thinking, I was remorseful. My intention had never been to make her feel that way. I adored the gift that she bought me and was more than pleased that she had even thought to get me one in the first place. My mind had been so bombarded with memories when I initially opened it, that I just sat and stared at it. So many memories of happy Christmas' with my parents. My mom going completely overboard and decorating every square inch of the house and yard with some type of garland or ornament or knickknack. My father playing the piano and us singing Christmas carols while my mother and I decorated the tree. Family vacations and excursions. Laughing at Sea World. Hiking and camping in Yosemite. Skiing in Tahoe. Even our move to the desolate town of Forks, where all of our lives changed. Memories flashed quickly through my mind like they were on a film roll. And then they all came to a screeching halt the day he died.

From there on out, my life had been more or less in a haze. There were memories I remembered of course. Meeting Jasper, graduating, getting drafted by Arizona, and my first game in the big leagues were the most prominent and important, but none that really measured to the childhood ones. Then I heard her mumbling something about taking it back, which I didn't understand. I tried to let her know that I loved the gift and that it was perfect, but apparently my face had not portrayed my true feelings because the next thing I knew we were driving in complete silence. I had already had ten years of painful silence from my beautiful Bella, so experiencing this on our drive to the restaurant was almost more than I could take.

I looked over at her while she drove, her face stoically staring straight ahead. Here was this girl, the girl that had been my first and only love, and she had miraculously showed back up in my life just when I thought it had lost all meaning. She gave me hope and made me want to be a better person. She made me want to stop just going through the motions and live again. Accepting this small gift was the first step to starting over. Unbeknownst to her, she had single-handedly gave me the key to open the door to a new and worthwhile life. It was both exhilarating and frightening as hell all at once. Frightening, because I knew it would only be worthwhile if she were in it. I couldn't, or rather wouldn't, let her slip away again. I would never be able survive and I was more than confident that this would be the same for her. We belonged together, it was written in the stars, and because of this I needed to do everything in my power to keep her with me for the rest of our forever.

Once we had finally gotten everything out on the table so to speak, dinner went remarkably well. Underneath her tough, hard-as-nails exterior shell, Bella was still the delightful, funny woman that I remembered from so many years ago. Her laugh was contagious, her humor and wit infectious and her brain remarkable. She made me feel both grounded and blown away in her presence. And I was desperate to find a way to show her that. Of course, that is where the idea of the flowers came in.

When practice was finally over, I jumped into the showers and dressed as quickly as I could. "What's the rush, Masen? Got a date tonight or something?" Tyler asked.

I smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know, Crowley," I replied tossing and catching my keys in my hand. Newton gave me a dirty look and I flashed him my best smile before turning and walking out the doors and into the parking lot.

My first stop was to Blockbuster. Bella had given me the duty of selecting the movie for tonight and I hoped to God there was something worthwhile to choose from. I scanned the titles in the Newly Released section trying to decide on what she would like and what I could probably put up with. I passed by Marley and Me (too family oriented), Milk (Eh..), Slumdog Millionaire (maybe), Twilight (would Bella really enjoy a movie about Vampires? Probably not… thank god), and then finally came upon Yes Man. I remembered that we used to enjoy watching comedies together and thought that would probably be perfect. I picked up the first copy I found and paid quickly, hurrying to get over to the flower shop before it closed.

When I walked in the store the fragrance of flowers assaulted my olfactory glands and I immediately was reminded of my mother. She always had fresh flowers in the house. I walked over to the counter and smiled at the older woman behind the register.

"How can I help you today, young man?" she asked.

"Well I'm looking for some flowers for my date tonight," I answered. "I did a little research on flower meanings last night, but I'm not so sure that what I found would look good together, so I'm hoping that maybe you could help me out, Maria," I said with my signature crooked grin after peaking at her name tag.

"Well I'm sure I could certainly try. What'd you have in mind?"

"I read that pink and white roses stand for admiration and adoration and that hydrangeas have to do with earnestness and are good for apologies. I'd also like to put in one of her favorite flowers if possible but I don't think any of them really go together," I mused.

While I was talking she gathered up some soft pink and white roses and a small bundle of hydrangeas. "Hmm, well what are the other flowers you wanted to look at? Let's see what we can do here."

"Ok, well I know she is fond of the Easter lily and that is probably in season right now, but she also likes sunflowers, and daisies."

"We might be able to get away with a few Gerbera daisies, in a very light shade of pink, but I don't think any of the others will work. Pink daisies stand for appreciation," Maria said while trying to arrange the bundle into an intricate pattern. "What do you think?" she asked holding it up for me to see.

It was perfect. I could only hope Bella would look into the meanings I had carefully researched, but even if she didn't I knew she would love them. I thanked Maria profusely while she wrapped them up in a beautiful pink satin bow. Once I paid and walked out of the store, my nervousness kicked in a little. I hoped I wasn't laying it on too thickly for her. I so wanted to really reconnect with Bella and the taking it slow thing was honestly killing me.

"Slow and steady wins the race," I quoted to myself as I drove through the rush hour traffic to get to Bella's.

I parked in the Peshtigo lot and then headed up to the 57th floor of her building. My heart was beating frantically and my hands were damp and sweaty. I tried to wipe them off on my pants and took a few slow deep breaths to calm myself. Once I felt my heart rate decrease, I knocked on the door.

Only a few seconds later, the front door flew open and there stood Bella with a big smile on her face. "Hey," she said, "Come in, come in." Once I walked into her open entry way, her eyes traveled downward to my hand where I was holding the large bouquet. Her eyes widened, "Are those for me?" she asked looking back towards my face.

"Of course they're for you," I answered smiling shyly.

She smiled back in a similar pattern and reached out for the bouquet inspecting it closely from all angles. "Oh my God, Edward, they're beautiful. Thank you so much," she said as she reached up on tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek. "You know you didn't have to do this, right?"

Bella had just kissed me. Granted it was on the cheek, but if responses like that were going to take place, I'd be more than thrilled to drop a bouquet off to her on a daily basis. Hell, I might consider doing it on an hourly basis. See, what did I tell you about me, going over board, and taking things slow with Bella? Um, yeah… that shit just really wasn't working for me.

"I know you didn't necessarily expect it, but it was something that I felt I _had_ to do." My eyes pleaded with her to understand what I was saying. I could only hope that she'd understand it enough to look into it at a later time. If she knew what I was telling her, then maybe she'd be more willing to take the next step in this relationship that we had going on. It was important to me that Bella sort of take the reins in this part of our story simply because I didn't want to push her past what she was comfortable with.

"Let's get them in some water. Come with me into the kitchen so I can find a vase and get them settled. Then I'll show you around my little place," she said leading me down the hallway and into a large modern kitchen.

Bella squatted down under the counter and I couldn't help but check out her delectable back side. Immediately I had the desire to give her a playful swat, much like I had when we were teenagers, but I knew instinctively that would most likely not be appreciated so I stuffed my hands deep into my pockets.

"Here we go," she said turning around holding a wide clear glass vase. "I think this will work perfectly," she asserted with a wide grin on her face. Bella untied the ribbon and placed the flowers along with the attached packet of plant food into a what I guess was about room temperature water since she kept adjusting the water spout and testing it with her finger. She spread the flowers out and positioned them just right, before announcing that she had the perfect place to put them. "Come. Tell me what you think."

I followed her from the kitchen into the living room and marveled at the dark chocolate, beige and slate blue surroundings. She placed the vase on a dark mahogany-colored side table that sat between her two couches.

"Perfect, right?" she implored and I could only laugh at her lightly and nod. "So what do you think? You want to take the tour or do you want to eat first? You pick."

"Alright, uh... well honestly, I'm starved. Practice was hell today and I haven't eaten since breakfast. Would you mind if we ate first?" I asked sheepishly.

"Nope not at all. Here, make yourself comfortable," she said handing me the remote to the TV "and I'll be finished in just a few minutes. Can I get you something to drink? A glass of wine maybe?"

"Sure, Bella. Whatever you have open would be great."

She walked back into the kitchen and I glanced around the room. Pictures hung on the wall of Bella and her family and I got up to check them out closer. There were pictures of her grandparents, her father, her mother and Phil, as well as Alice and Emmett and the rest of the Cullens. Most of the photos were posed, but there were a few that were candid and those were the ones that most interested me. There was one of her and Rosalie at graduation. Rose's eyes were bright and you could see the happiness exuding from them, Bella on the other hand, was smiling, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and she had sort of a far off look in them. Almost as if she was looking through the camera not into the lens. Another photo was of her and Jake. He was kneeling on the ground and she was in his arms and had one arm hooked around his neck. Jake stared into the camera. His look determined but not necessarily happy. Bella had her eyes closed with her face on his shoulder. While an outsider might see the photo as catching her in a lost moment of contentment, I could see otherwise. She was not at all content. She was broken and she clung to him as if he was her entire strength. The picture was not at all intimate but more or less heartbreaking.

I pondered what their marriage must have been like. Though I was obviously no fan of Jake's, I appreciated that he was there to pick up her broken pieces and to keep her somewhat patched together. I had no real appreciation for what our break-up had done to her until I saw that picture. Perhaps I was being overly egotistical to believe that I was the cause of her sadness that day, but somehow deep down, I just knew. Studying the picture, I realized that I never wanted to see her look that way again. I was going to take Jake's place, like I should have years ago, and put her back together again, but not haphazardly like he had done. If it took me years to mend the wounds I had inflicted on her, I would do it because she was worth it. She always had been.

Why had I not tried harder all those years ago? If I'd been tenacious enough, I probably could have gotten answers out of Angela eventually. Maybe even out of Jake. I'd given up after one attempt at both of them. If I'd wanted to prove myself to them and especially to Bella, I would have kept at it. When I moved back to San Diego I should have called. I should have made sure that Angela had my information, just in case Bella had changed her mind. Whether she did or didn't, I really still had no idea. And why hadn't I looked into hiring someone to find her? I certainly had the money to do it, but I never even considered it. Was it because I was so afraid of being rejected by her? I mean that was one of the reasons I never told her about my dad in the first place. And when she left me, it was like I was drowning. She was my air and when she was gone, I could barely breathe. When my father died, it was like I stopped breathing all together. It took me so long to resurface that maybe I was afraid of being drawn back down. Again, I wasn't sure, but it certainly called for introspection.

"Here you go. I hope Pinot Grigio is okay. It goes better with our dinner than a red," Bella said as she entered into the room with a smile on her face. When her eyes met mine, her smile faltered a little, realizing I was looking at the picture of her and Jake. "I'm sorry about the pictures. I uh, well, I didn't really think about them being on the wall," she stuttered.

I gave her the most reassuring smile I could muster. "It's fine Bella. He's a part of you and a part of your past. I'm glad you had him. I mean it, really."

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and gave a slight nod. "Thank you," she whispered.

It would really be best for both of us if the subject of conversation changed so I took it upon myself to do that. This night was about us getting comfortable with each other and that was not going to happen if we only talked about sad and painful memories. "So what's for dinner tonight, Chef," I said with a large smile.

"Well I don't know about the whole chef thing. I'm completely self-taught and Food Network skilled. I'm not sure that qualifies as anything close to a chef," Bella said with a small smirk. "Plus if you'd ever tried my mother's cooking you would know I certainly did not learn _anything_ from her. But I came across this recipe a while back and I think it's pretty good. It's called lemon spaghetti. The lemon makes it seem lighter, more summer-ish I think. I don't know. Hopefully you'll like it."

I laughed out loud. "You're babbling you know. You do that when you're nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about, Bella. I'm a bachelor. I spend half my year on the road. It's a home-cooked meal and you made it, so I'm sure I'll love it regardless. Come," I said slinging my arm around her shoulder. "I'm starving."

We walked back into the kitchen and she motioned for me to take a seat at her island. "The dining room just seemed too formal, plus this is where I always eat, so..."

"It's perfect, Bella and I have to say, it smells damn good," I replied rubbing my palms together.

She giggled. "Well that is actually the cheesy garlic bread. That was a recipe from my grandma. That I _know_ you'll like."

Bella removed the loaf from the oven and opened the foil. The smell assaulted my nose and I moaned in pleasure. She turned to give me an incredulous smile before shaking her head and draining the spaghetti from the pot. A few minutes later she had the whole spread sat out in front of us. It looked fantastic. I hadn't had a home cooked meal since my mother was in town back in February. _Damn, that was sad._

"So should we toast before we eat?" I asked. Bella smiled and raised her glass so I went ahead and continued. "To us, to starting over and to _at least_ reclaiming our friendship," I declared boldly.

Bella smiled and added her own sentiments. "To living and laughing again. To happiness." We clinked our glasses together and took a drink. "Now dig in. I know you're dying to."

The meal was delicious. I had no idea what she was talking about when she said she wasn't that great of a cook. The meal easily rivaled any one of my mother's. We talked animatedly about everyday things. She told me stories of Alice and Emmett when they were kids. About going to college and rooming with Rose. I told her about Jasper and then we discussed the obnoxiousness that was Alice and Jasper's relationship now. We laughed constantly. Everything just felt right. Like this is how it should have always been. But I didn't want to dwell on the past tonight. I wanted to focus on us, where we were now, and what might happen in the future.

After I helped her tidy up the dishes, because my mother taught me that the chef should never be the one to clean up, we headed back into the living room. Bella went to set up the DVD and sound system while I settled into the couch and poured us each another glass of wine. "So a comedy, huh? Guess my toast was appropriate," she smirked.

"Yeah, I just remembered we both always liked them and I wasn't really sure. Have you already seen it?" I asked.

Bella headed back over to the couch plopping herself down next to me. "No, but Em and Rose saw it and they enjoyed it. Then again, those two have some of the oddest sense of humors I know, so I guess we'll see."

The movie started and Bella adjusted the volume and then the lights which were also apparently run on some sort of dimmer remote. I leaned back on the couch suddenly very nervous. I wasn't sure what to do with my hands. I almost laughed out loud as I felt like a sixteen year-old on his first date. I gripped my wine goblet tightly and focused on that much more than I should have. The movie was actually sort of funny. I don't always find Jim Carrey movies all that amusing, but this one was honestly not that bad. About a half hour into the film I noticed both our glasses were almost empty so I leaned forward and refilled them. Then sat awkwardly back again.

A few minutes later Bella exclaimed, "Shit. I think my earring got caught on the blanket. Can you see if it fell back behind the couch?"

I sat my glass down on the center table and turned my body to peer over the back. It was so dark in the room I was pretty sure there was no way I would be able to see it. I padded the blanket with my hand, seeing if maybe it was caught on one of the weaves. "What's it look like? I don't really see anything."

Once my head was turned, I felt Bella snuggle into my side. "That's okay, E. Don't worry about it. I'll look for it afterwards when the lights are back on," she said with small yawn.

I bit both lips into my mouth to try and stop the smile on my face. Had she really just set me up? Since I was obviously too much of a pussy to make the first move myself, she had taken it upon herself to do it. Honestly though, who the hell cared. My girl's head was lying against my chest and that was all that mattered in this moment. Not about to waste another minute over-thinking things, I wrapped my arm around her body and held her close to me. Instantaneously I felt a sudden sense of contentment, a feeling of calm, a feeling of home. I knew that was the one moment where everything between us changed. This is what the past ten years of our life should have been and this was the moment that signaled what the rest of our life together would be. Happiness, love, contentment, acceptance, and….. perfection.

Each time we laughed I felt like she was snuggling in a little closer. It was two of the most serene hours I had experienced in years. I watched more of Bella than I did of the movie and that made it probably the best movie I had ever seen. Her eyes sparkled and I could tell that she was truly happy and content in that moment. She drew lazy figure-eights on my thigh with her fingers. Each time sending the most exquisite tingles over my leg. I had missed that electricity with her. I wanted so badly to kiss her, but I didn't want to be greedy. We had made progress again tonight. We were now passed the hand-holding stage (good riddance first base) and we were finally comfortable with each other. What if that was all she really wanted? I had to remember to go slow.

It was going to be so difficult to see her in the coming weeks. I had games solidly for the next two weeks and eleven of those days I was going to be on the road. Can you say not easy on a new relationship? I hoped against all odds that we would not move backwards during that time. I loved the direction things were moving in and if we just had a little more time together, going away might be easier. Wishful thoughts there guy, because whether it be one minute or one day, there was never any time that I didn't want to be exactly where Bella was.

The movie ended around eleven and I figured I should probably get home. Bella looked tired and I really wanted to get a good night's sleep before the game tomorrow. There was no way I could play like I wanted to if I was tired and unfocused again. Not to mention, Coach would most likely bench my ass. I've never been benched before and I sure as hell was not wanting to start now. I played ball well through many obstacles in my life, including my depression. Having a relationship with Bella meant everything to me, even more to me than my career, but if I wanted to stay employed and not disappoint her, I was going to have to learn how to juggle them both. And I had already promised myself that disappointing Bella again was not an option.

"I should get going, Bella. I don't want to be up too late before the game tomorrow. And you see, I have this pretty amazing boss, and I really don't want to let her down."

Bella sat up straighter on the couch, fixing her hair. "Oh. Uh, yeah, I mean of course. I don't want to keep you up too late," she answered with a hesitant smile.

We both stood up and she walked me to her door. "Can I call you after the game tomorrow?" I questioned as I gingerly tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear.

"I'd love that. I guess it's going to be kinda hard to see each other in the next few weeks, huh? I hadn't really considered that before."

"Well, yeah, it will be tough, but we'll talk, right? I don't want to go two weeks without talking to you. I think we are just starting to reconnect and... well to be blatantly honest, I don't want to go backwards, Bella."

She swallowed hard. "Me neither."

"Good. So we're on the same page here and we'll make it work. We just have to." I kissed her on the forehead and held her head tightly to my lips, lingering probably longer than I should have. "I'll call you as soon as I'm leaving the stadium tomorrow," I promised as I opened her door.

Bella nodded and then stood in the doorway watching as I climbed into the elevator. "Night, Edward," she said quietly just as the doors began closing.

"Sweet Dreams, my beautiful girl," I smiled back at her before the doors closed completely cutting her off from my vision.

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**A/N****: So what did you all think? If you checked out the blog, you may have noticed this chapter was supposed to have some other activities involved. I decided to break them up into two chapters because the next 2 weeks are going to be crazy for me, and I didn't want to keep you all waiting so long when this part has been done for awhile. Hope you understand. All outfits and chapters are on the blog. http://dpattinson(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

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**~~ Remember to go and vote for the Indie Awards if you love the story. The link is http://theindietwificawards(dot)com/vote(dot)aspx**** And again THC is nominated under the Secondary Characterization section. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to vote in advance.**

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**~~ I've been meaning to write this little section for awhile, but I've been avoiding it. I know you all want Bella to tell Edward NOW about Mackenzie. It's not going to happen. I'm letting you know now. This is for a number of reasons:**

** 1. Neither of them is secure enough in their relationship or in their personal lives to deal with that information right now. Edward of course will be upset. Bella will go back into hiding and they would never talk again. That is not how I want this story going. They've already spent too much time avoiding things.**

** 2. You haven't seen this in the story yet, but Edward will encourage Bella to not tell him. He will see how sad it makes her when she wants to tell him and he'll tell her that it's not worth it. I don't want to ruin the story, but anyway that will happen.**

** 3. In order for the storyline to work according to my own outline and plan, she needs to tell him after the season ends. So it will be in the fall. And Bella will ABSOLUTELY be the one to tell him. He will not find out from anyone else, that I can promise.**

**I know this will not make all of you happy, but it is the way it's going to go. Be patient. When she does tell him, they will be a place in their relationship where walking away for good is not an option. Though the news will be a big blow, they will fight to do the right things.**

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**~~ Story rec: ****_An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy_**** by ****_m81170_**** This is about the damn cutest story in the entire world! It follows the growing up of the totally adorkable 13 year old, Lord of the Rings loving Edward and a shy, yet totally captivating Bella. Every chapter will leave a gigantic smile on your face and will completely warm your heart.**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5642262/1/An_Introduction_to_Swirl_and_Daisy**

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**~~ On that note****: Please click on that little review button below and leave us some love or hate or whatever you feel is appropriate. Fluffy, happy stuff is my least favorite material to write, so review to give me some encouragement to get the next chapter out to you sooner. Thank you! We got over 89 reviews last chapter between the both of us—Let's see if we can make it to 100 this time. **


	14. This Changes Things

**Author's Note: Hello Readers! Sorry for the extremely long delay. I really have no excuse other than writer's block for this chapter, so I apologize, but I didn't want to post something I was not happy with. I hope you understand. This is another happy, fluffy chapter--Since I know you all love those. Enjoy it while it lasts.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.  
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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 14: This Changes Things**

**Song Selections:**

_**Edward's POV:**_

"_Faithfully" by Journey_

_**Bella's POV:**_

"_Like a Prayer" by Madonna_

"_Kissin' U" by Miranda Cosgrove_

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****Edward's POV****

I hate fucking losing games. I really, really do. It's depressing and miserable and the guys on the team turn into complete fucking asshats. The reality of it was that there were two types of players on a team. The first were the ones that were mainly here to collect a fucking paycheck. They went through the motions, but when the game was over, they could give two shits less what the outcome was. They had no passion or heart and, in my opinion, a complete waste of fucking space. And right now, Milton Bradley was on my last nerve. Going zero for four with three strike-outs one day, and missing plays in the field another; it was all beyond frustrating. The team was trying to stay behind him, but come on already. His attitude was shit and for fuck's sake, he'd already been ejected and suspended and the season was only less than three weeks in. And now, he was out with a nagging groin injury. This is a prime example of why some players are a complete waste of fucking space.

Then there were the players who loved the game; ones who wore their emotions on their sleeves. Whether it be in anger, disappointment, or in happiness, you knew those guys played because they were honored that they got to make their living playing a game that they loved, and blessed that they got paid for it. I'd like to think I was one of those guys. Lee was one of those guys. And as much as I hated to admit it, Newton was one of those guys. Yeah, I said it, but don't think that such a realization doesn't make me cringe a little, because it does. As much as I couldn't stand the idiot, he was very vocal about his opinions both when the team played like shit and when they played well. He might have been known as the team jokester, but when it came time to be serious, he was. I didn't have to like him, but I had to respect him. Not that I would ever admit that shit out loud to anyone. Hell, it took everything within me to even admit it to myself.

After our four game losing streak, I was at my wit's end and the road trip had basically just started. We had one more game here in St. Louis and then we left for Arizona. I had mixed feelings about returning home. On one hand, it would be nice to be back in my house and out of a damn hotel. It also meant that I was one day closer to returning back to my new home and to Bella. On the other hand, I would be playing against my old teammates and I would be seeing Phil. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet.

Bella and I had been talking daily on the phone. It certainly wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. Actually, it was more than "better than nothing" because it was a start. A start at getting us back into each other's lives for good because that is where we were both meant to be, together. In all the years I've played, I had never had a girlfriend. Not that I could really consider Bella my girlfriend yet, but she was the closest thing I'd ever had to it. Maybe, in the back of my mind, that's why I've never had a girlfriend because if she wasn't Bella, there really was no point to a relationship. I used to not mind being on the road because it was always an adventure. Going out after the games, meeting new people, but that was not what I cared about anymore. Now that the second the game was over, the only thing I did care about was being back in my room alone talking to my girl. And believe it or not, I'd never felt less lonely in my life. I know it sounds crazy that a simple phone call of listening to her sweet voice could sooth me like that, but it could. No matter the distance between us, just knowing that she was there for me at the end of the day was all that mattered… she was all that mattered.

"I assure you, Edward, that Phil was completely honest with you. He likes you for you. There was no ulterior motive there. He honestly thinks of you as the son he never had. You have no idea how sad he was to see you leave Arizona," Bella pleaded her case.

I groaned. "I don't know, Bella. I want to believe that, but it's awfully hard now, knowing what I do."

She sighed. "Look, I know I made a lot of mistakes. I should have told Phil, but, and I'm going to be blunt here, if he knew that you were the one who broke my heart back then, I just don't know how he would have reacted. Obviously he is a professional and I'd like to think he would have treated you the same, but I don't know that. And honestly, I'm glad you had him. He's a great guy and you deserved that. Please, just act normally or he will suspect something."

"Don't you think I should tell him? He deserves that honesty," I asked.

"NO!" Bella blurted.

I was more than a little confused at her seemingly overreaction. This was her stepdad, why would she want to lie to him?

"They don't even know we are hanging out, so there is no reason to rush into anything, Edward. I'll tell him, if and when it is warranted. In the meantime, you are still the same Edward he has always known and loved. Just please be that guy for me; for now, anyway. Ok?" she asked or rather seemed to beg.

I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to respect Bella's wishes. We were trying to take this slow and I was afraid that any rash decision on my part would end in disaster. And Phil was her stepfather; she really should have the right to tell him about our history and our present on her own terms. On the other hand, though, Phil was someone I deeply respected. He had been a fill-in father figure for me for many years. I trusted him with my life, and I knew he trusted me. Not telling him about our past, felt like lying to him. I was a lot of things, but I had never been a liar.

In the end, I had decided to sacrifice my own dignity for Bella. I went to Arizona and spent time with Phil and never told him who I really was. This, by the way, was difficult for me to do, like really fucking difficult. In reality, it was hearing Bella's pleading in my mind that was the only thing stopping me from laying it all out on the table for him. Because of this, I could only hope that one day he would be able to forgive me for such omissions.

We lost another two out of three games in Arizona which only seemed to piss me off even more. Seriously, like I wanted to lose to them? Hell no! Everyone was frustrated and on edge and I thanked god I was not staying at the damn hotel with those guys. I was able to sleep in a real bed and eat food that was not from room service. While this prospect should have lifted my spirits a little, it didn't because my house that had been my home for nearly seven years now felt empty. It didn't feel like a home anymore. It was in these moments that I realized that my true home was back in Chicago or wherever the hell Bella was at this exact moment. They always say that home is where you heart is and my home was, and always has been, with Bella because she is the only one who could ever have my heart.

I'd been searching for a place that felt right to me for years without success, and now I knew that if I could just keep her, I could be happy anywhere. It wasn't a place I had been searching for, it was a person. Not just any person, but the girl who had always held my heart in the palms of her tiny, soft hands. Naturally, though, my heart was now a little more fragile and a little less naïve then it had been years ago, but she held it just the same, whether she knew it or not.

This time away from her had really given me a lot of opportunity to think. Our relationship was definitely strengthening. I knew I'd have to regain her trust if I wanted any chance of things moving further and this trip was the first challenge. Given our history and my reputation, warranted or not, Bella needed to see that I was committed to her and only her. That I was not the playboy the press had made me out to be. Personally, I felt this would be the easiest of all my challenges. I wasn't interested in any way, shape, or form in hooking up with any woman that was not my Bella. But I couldn't fault her in needing to see this for herself because her trust in me, and us, was still a bit fragile. I completely understood this and knew that rebuilding it was going to be a slow process. This was fine by me because our talking every night was laying the foundation for a stronger relationship and a strong future together. With this in mind, however I was also not naïve enough to think that one road trip was going to be enough to prove anything to her, but it was certainly a good start. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.

Leaving Phoenix was a welcome damn relief. While the warm weather had been like heaven after playing so many games in thirty and forty degree temperatures, which is completely shitty baseball playing weather by the way, I couldn't wait to get back home. We had a six game home stand and then another six days on the road so I was bound and determined to make the most out of those six days at home.

The first thing I did when I got back into town was call Bella. I couldn't wait to see her, but it was going to have to wait until after the game we had tonight. Of course said game ended in another loss after our reliever let up six runs in the final innings. Needless to say, Bella was not in the greatest of moods after the game and as badly as I wanted to see her, I thought it might be better to wait until tomorrow. Both of us being irritable after the loss would probably not allow for a promising or enjoyable evening.

We were scheduled for day games the entire weekend against the Marlins. I don't think I'd ever played so many day games with the Diamondbacks as I had in the first month of play with the Cubs, but I guess that was some type of tradition with their team. I had mentioned it to Bella once during conversation and she told me it had something to do with homeowners in the area and the Mayor wanting to prevent any type of mischievous behavior at night. This explanation was ridiculous since most of the patrons in the area were all watching the game anyway, but what the hell ever. She said it was something her and Emmett were trying to change, but that so far it had been a dead-end.

Day games were interesting in that you had your evenings free to do as you liked, but unfortunately it didn't really allow for too much since you had to be up early and back to the park in the late morning. However, they did allow Bella and I to have dinner on occasion and for that I had to be somewhat grateful.

Amazingly, the team seemed to get their shit together and we were able to pull out wins in four out of the six games of our home stand. Thank fucking god is all that could be said for this! This joyous occasion allowed Bella and I to spend three of those last five nights together having dinner or at least coffee.

Alice had invited Bella, Jasper and I over for dinner on Saturday and for the first time in years it felt like we were really a couple. We spent the evening sharing drinks and conversation by the fire pit on her patio. The four of us really meshed well together and I couldn't help but hope for many more nights like this one in our future. The weather was still pretty chilly at night, but it was the perfect excuse for Bella and I to cuddle up to one another in the oversized patio chair. Between the fire, the wine, and the warm blanket we had lying over us, it felt almost like a cool summer night. Bella entwined our fingers together under the blanket and we sat like that for hours enjoying each other's company. It was the most content I had been in months, maybe even years, and I had could only hope that this feeling would never end. Unfortunately, the evening did eventually come to an end, thus leading Bella and I to part as usual, with a hug and a kiss on her forehead. Tonight really felt like the perfect time to kiss her goodbye, but I was still leery of pushing my luck too far and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin this otherwise flawless night.

However, I'd be remiss to not admit that I was getting antsy waiting for our relationship to take the next step. On Tuesday evening I'd be leaving for another five game road trip. I was dreading it more than usual since it seemed we were really making such good progress in our relationship, and I was afraid the distance might set us back a few steps when I came back. But this was my job and traveling was something we were both going to have to get used to if we wanted this to work. I could only keep my fingers crossed for the best.

* * *

****Bella POV****

I hated these road trips more than I'd ever like to admit to Edward. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I missed him more than what was probably healthy and the whole thing was making me feel extremely weak and vulnerable. He melted my heart much too fast and I was afraid of letting down my walls too quickly. He made me feel emotions in ways I had forgotten even existed. Things were so perfect, maybe even too perfect; it all just seemed too good to be true.

On Saturday evening, I thought for sure he would kiss me goodbye. I was ready for it, hell I felt like I couldn't be more obvious in my want for it. But Edward was either not in the same place as I was emotionally, or he was completely blind to my signs. I mean, did I need a neon flashing sign pointing to me blinking "kiss me" or something? Rest assured, if this is what it took, I sure as shit would rush around all of Chicago looking for one immediately. Geesh! I couldn't be sure what the holdup was, but I was desperate for that kiss to happen again and soon. The memory of the one we shared at the club still made my lips tingle and like an addict, I was craving more. This time, however, I was ready to give back just as good as I had gotten and then some.

_Fuck me! Who the hell thought so much analysis would go into a kiss for crying out loud?_

Edward called me every day while he was gone and, whether he knew it or not, his calls were the absolute highlight of my day. They always seemed to bring a smile to my face which is something I hadn't really done for so long. It was amazing how a simple call or text from him could mean the world to me, but they did. This is not to say, however, that such calls also had an underlying message because they did. I know that he was indirectly trying to prove to me that he wasn't interested in meeting or hooking up with any other women. That he came back to the hotel to talk to me rather than going out and socializing with the team or the general public. In all honesty, I was really trying to not think about that issue. On one hand, I was elated that he was in the hotel alone and spending his free time with me, but on the other, I really didn't want him isolating himself from the other team members. If this was going to work, I was going to have to learn to trust him. I'm not sure I was there yet, but I hoped in time I could be.

I still hadn't mentioned anything to Emmett or Rose about our relationship. I knew that I needed to, but I was still a little nervous about their reactions. Rose would be more worried about me getting hurt than anything else. She was fiercely protective, to a flaw at times. I couldn't blame her for this, as she was the one who really saw me at my lowest and most vulnerable. She would also probably question my damn sanity, especially after the freak out I had at the club. And I knew that any type of fight or disagreement Edward and I got into, she would likely become involved in that "I told you so" type of bullshit I was attempting to avoid. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that some types of disagreements were bound to come up with all the history we had together that had not yet been discussed. Her opinions made me the most nervous. I wanted to be able to fight for this relationship and I was afraid that her defensiveness and protectiveness of me might enable me to run away like I always had in the past. I would need her and everyone else to push me through the hard times ahead if Edward and I were to have a chance at a real future together.

As far as Emmett was concerned, I wasn't so worried about his protectiveness of me as I was about his protectiveness of the team. He might judge a relationship between Edward and I as a distraction to both of us professionally. There obviously were not too many cases of players dating their bosses and owners of the franchise, so I had no idea how Emmett or the public would perceive us. Nor for that matter, how the other players or members of the board would see us, but I'm sure it would not be favorably. Stupid media and stupid nosey people! I didn't want anyone to think that Edward would be receiving any type of preferential treatment because we were in a relationship. He had a ten year contract that would take him until his thirty-seventh birthday, so whether a new negotiation would ever be needed was unknown. Hell, who even knew if he'd still want to be with me once he found out about my side of our history.

I wanted so much to believe I was over-thinking all of this, but I had a sinking feeling that the fall out of all this might be worse than I was even imagining. What I did know was that I needed Emmett on my side if I was going to have any chance in hell of this being successful. If we were "playing for the same team" so to speak, if and when Edward and I ever went public with this, I'd have a better chance with the board members at least. Telling Emmett was going to need to happen soon. If we were spotted or reported in any type of intimate way while in public together before I told him, the shit would most definitely hit the fan. I was hoping to wait until I could see if this was really going to go anywhere, but truthfully I had dodged a bullet when we had spent time at the Aquarium and had not been caught by a photog or some overzealous fan looking to make a quick buck. I had been privately berating myself for this decision for the last few weeks. And with the team on the road, we had several days of quiet time in the office where Emmett and I could talk privately about the situation.

We won our first two games in Houston and Emmett was in a pretty jovial mood, so I took a chance on Friday afternoon to sit down and talk with him about the situation.

"Hey Em, you got a few minutes?" I asked tentatively when I knocked on his office door.

Emmett was sitting at his desk and sorting through a multitude of different files so I walked in and took a seat. "Sure B, what's up? I was just looking through some of our minor league prospect stats to see how they were doing. There might be a few we could consider bringing up later in the season if necessary."

"Oh, well that's good, I guess," I answered distractedly, trying to figure out the best way to broach the upcoming conversation.

Emmett laughed unexpectedly and shook me from my thoughts. "You're not even paying attention to me, my dear cousin. Since you obviously don't want to discuss the team, what did you come in here to talk about?"

I took a deep breath before I began trying to settle my nerves. "Well it's more personal and I could use some advice, but it does involve the team in some ways," I quickly added the last part.

Emmett furrowed his brows. "Okay. Can you be a _little_ more forthcoming with the details, because right now, I have no idea how your personal life and the team really have any direct relation. Unless you are planning to take a leave of absence or something. Oh god, Bella, please tell me you aren't?"

"No. No of course not, Emmett. Why would I need a personal leave, especially this early in the season?"

"Well for the life of me, I really don't know, B, but it would help if you'd just get to the point then and stop me from guessing what the hell you're talking about," he stated bluntly.

The last thing I needed was Emmett frustrated before I even told him about Edward so I decided it was best just to get it out there. Taking a deep breath, I quietly stated "Alright, sorry Em. I'm just nervous, okay? So the thing is... I've been talking to Edward."

He stared at me, not showing any type of emotion to help me gauge his reaction. "Alright... Go on. How is that going?"

"Um, well so far it's going pretty well. We haven't really addressed much of our past yet, but..." I trailed off not really knowing how to say all this since Edward and I hadn't really defined our relationship yet. "Look, Em, I don't want to lie to you. We've sort of been _seeing_ each other quietly for the past few weeks."

We were merely seconds into this conversation and I already felt as if I was a five year old child getting questioned by her kindergarten teacher for taking a crayon or something.

Emmett stared down at his desk folding his hands in front of him. "And when you say _seeing_, do you mean meeting up and talking or do you mean dating?"

I bit my lower lip into my mouth. "I mean dating... maybe."

"Maybe? What the hell does that mean?" he said looking back up at me. His blue eyes were asking all sorts of questions that I didn't have the answers to yet.

Exhaling deeply I launched into an explanation. "Well we haven't really defined anything yet, but yes, I'd say we are dating. We talk on the phone every day and we spend time at each other's homes having dinner and such. It isn't sexual, at least yet, but I thought you should know." I said nervously.

"Bella," he said shaking his head. "This could have serious consequences for each of you. Have you even thought about that? I'm not opposed to you or one of my players dating someone, but I don't really think a player dating an owner is really appropriate. Can you imagine what people would say? Jesus, Bella! The more I think about this, the worse it gets in my mind. What the hell were you thinking?"

This was precisely the reaction I was hoping to avoid, but I guess given the circumstances I couldn't really blame him. But, I knew that if I wanted Edward and I to work, I was going to have to fight for us every step of the way. So, I figured there was no time like the present to do just that.

"Well to be honest, I'm trying _not_ to think for once. I'm trying to follow what's in my heart for the first time in my life. I'm tired of giving up on my personal life. I've been doing that for over ten years, Emmett and I don't want to do it anymore. I know this could be disastrous. It could also be the most rewarding experience in my life. My feelings for him have never gone away. I have no intention of going around and flaunting this relationship, but I also don't want to have to hide it completely either. We can be smart about things and take it slow. We've been taking it slow and I think we will continue with that because we are both afraid of getting hurt again.

Look, I'm not exactly seeking for your permission here, Emmett. We're equal partners and I'm not going to let you dictate my private life, but I would like your support. I'm sure the board will have issues with this and I'd really like us to be on the same team when the time comes. I'm asking you to trust me here, just like you always do," I stated, pleading my case.

Emmett sat quietly for a few moments thinking before taking in a deep breath and then exhaling. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You are impossible sometimes." He bit the inside of his cheek before continuing. "Alright, on one condition. You wait until the season is over to tell him about the baby. I think the relationship in general and the rest of your issues will be enough for the two of you to try and handle during the season. If he finds out about the baby issue during the season... I don't know, Bella. If it was me, there was no way I could concentrate at all. He might need some time to work through this and he won't have that opportunity during the season. It could be disastrous."

And with this, I could feel my eyes widening and my face scrunching into the "I don't think I can do this" look. It's something Emmett is all too familiar with and I was sure he would call me out on it at any minute.

"You're giving me that look right now. I get it. I know I'm asking you to continue to withhold information from him and that's not really fair at the beginning of the relationship, but think about it professionally, Bella. This is a business. We've paid him millions of dollars to perform and perform well. More importantly than him, I need you to perform. And let's be honest here, neither of you will be able to do that if all this comes out. You know it and I know it."

Once again, I found myself chewing on my lower lip. From a clearly professional standpoint there was no denying that Emmett was correct, but I wasn't sure I could continue to withhold that information from Edward personally. It just wasn't right and I didn't want him to think that I was lying to him about something either. Even after ten years apart, Edward was able to read my emotions like a book and, while he may not know about the baby, it doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to sense that something was a little off. For this to work, we were both going to need to be as honest as possible. It came down to what was more important- the business or my personal relationship with Edward. This time the two couldn't be separated.

"I can't lie to him, Emmett. Please don't ask me to do that. It isn't fair to either of us. I see your point, really I do, but I can't make a promise like that," I stated simply.

Emmett closed his eyes in defeat. "Fine, don't promise me, but at least try, Bella. You know what this will do to him. Please just consider that before you start talking. You need to really think about whether you'd be telling him for his own good, or whether it would be to eliminate you own guilt. It's both I know, but just consider him and his feelings when you do this. It's taken you years to come to terms with the decision you made, you can't expect Edward to just accept it and move on. I know I wouldn't be able to."

"Okay. I'll try. You're right, I guess. I know some of this is about clearing my own conscious, and that's not the right reason to tell him. I have to consider how he'll react and I'm sure it won't be favorably," I reluctantly agreed. "So then..."

"Then I'll support your decision. I like Edward, I do. I worry about you of course, Bella if this goes south, but there is no question that there is some chemistry between the two of you. You'd have to be blind not to see it. I had crossed my fingers that nothing was going to come of it, but I had a feeling that eventually we'd be having this discussion.

Just take it slow. I don't want to see you get hurt. We've definitely got some obstacles with the board and the players and the league in general, but we'll muddle through it. I'm not going to ask you to hide the relationship, but be smart about it Bella, both here and in public. And I'm thinking that, professionally speaking, it might be better if Edward reports directly to me, if it's necessary. I'm sure that would make the board more confident," Emmett added.

I smiled letting myself have hope that these obstacles might be easier than I had originally thought. "Sounds fair, Em. I'm on board. Do you think we need to come forward with this right away or wait for something to happen when it comes to the executive board members?"

Emmett shrugged. "I honestly don't know, B. Let's just let your relationship develop a little and then we'll reevaluate if necessary."

Having a little more confidence than when I first entered the office, I looked over my shoulder at Emmett one last time and asked "When the hell did you get so smart anyway?"

After letting out a little chuckle and shaking his head lightly he responded "Well B, you're going to have to ask Rose that because I am guessing she would beg to differ."

And with that, I turned and left the office for the day. While I was much more confident with Emmett on my side when it came to the relationship in general, I still left the office for the day feeling torn with the conversation. I still wasn't sure what the best answer was when it came to Mackenzie. I knew that finding out about her was bound to break his heart, so my only hope was that when he did find out about her our relationship would be strong enough to survive it.

When Edward called later that night after the game, I told him I wanted to do something special together on Monday evening after he got home. He readily agreed and I mentally started planning the perfect Edward date. Something that would allow us to be ourselves would be best. Dinner at some fancy restaurant would probably just make us both nervous. Navy Pier might be perfect though. It wasn't so busy this time of the year, and being that it was a Monday night and school was still in, we'd probably get some privacy. The atmosphere would relax both of us. We could just have fun for once and eat caramel apples, because let's be honest, how can you not have fun when caramel apples are involved.

**~xx~THC~xx~**

Three days later I was rushing to finish getting dressed before Edward arrived at my home. I had decided on skinny black jeans, a light-weight black flowy blouse that tied at the waist and a pair of comfy black heels since the weather was actually unseasonably warm for the day. I left my hair down, but decided to straighten it, instead of leaving it naturally wavy. I finished just as I heard a knock on my door.

_In through the nose, out through the mouth Bella. Just breathe._

After giving myself a quick reminder, I opened the door and immediately smiled when I saw Edward. I was so excited that I had to refrain myself from running and throwing myself into his arms. It seemed like it had been much longer than a week since I had last seen him. Yeah, I guess you could say that I missed him something fierce. He stood before me looking absolutely delicious in his casual clothes. Could being gone for a week make someone look yummier than before? I am thinking that this must be the case, because I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had on a polo shirt and jeans with those black boots again as well as a UCLA baseball cap. It reminded me of something he might have worn in high school and my heart rate quickened just a bit at the thought.

"You look beautiful, Bella. Did I go too casual? You're much more dressed up than I am," Edward questioned looking down at my shoes, before giving me his usual kiss on my forehead. If I had my way, that situation was going to be rectified before the end of this night.

I shook my head. "Nope. You're perfect for where we're going. I'm just such a girl and I can't resist wearing heels. Plus, that one time I wore my flats, I felt like a midget standing next to you," I chuckled.

Rolling his beautiful green eyes and quietly laughing, he asked "Okay, if you're sure. So where are we off to?"

I grabbed my wristlet and locked my door. "I was thinking we could head down to Navy Pier and just hang out. Should be pretty quiet there tonight and we could just relax and have fun, you know?"

"Sounds like fun. I haven't been there yet. Mind if I drive tonight? I'd really like to learn how to get around on my own a little more. I swear I can only get from my place to the stadium, your place, or Jasper's. It's pathetic," he laughed.

We headed down to my garage and he stopped next to a black Aston Martin convertible and just like the gentleman he was, he opened the passenger door for me. "Damn Edward. This is quite an upgrade from your high school car. What is it you're trying to make up for?" I teased.

He smirked and leaned down closer to my face. "I'm pretty sure you know first-hand that there is nothing that I need to make up for, at least physically, with some fancy car Bella. And furthermore, there was nothing wrong with the Volvo I drove in high school. It was a safe car for teenaged boy who preferred to drive faster than he should have," he playfully stated.

After he got himself situated into the driver's side, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. "Whatever you say Edward." He gave me another smirk before pulling out of the spot. "I have to admit, though, it is a beautiful car. Did you have it all custom done?"

"Yeah. It was the first ostentatious gift I got myself when I signed my first real contract in the majors. I guess I wanted something to show that I had made it. I'd always admired these cars and I could finally afford one, so I went for it," he said sounding embarrassed.

"Are you embarrassed because you bought something so materialistic as your first purchase?" I asked, looking at him in amazement. He shrugged a little so I continued. "I think that's pretty normal, Edward. Both Emmett and I did similar things and Alice and Rose are the worst when it comes to shopping. I'm certainly not going to judge you."

The right side of his mouth lifted in his trademark crooked smile. "Well good, because to be honest I really like this car and I don't want to have to feel bad about spending the kind of money on it that I did."

I shook my head and laughed. "You're such an ass. Turn right when you get to the next light."

We continued to make small talk as we drove and finally arrived at the Pier. Edward came around and opened my door again grabbing my hand and helping me out of the car. "Do I need to hold your hand hostage again while we're here, or can I trust you not to try and beat me up?" he asked.

I smirked finding his teasing completely adorable. "I'm not sure. Maybe you should hold onto it just in case. Sometimes my hand has a mind of its own."

We headed up to the Pier and started the long walk towards the upper deck where Pier Park is located. Edward's eyes brightened as he looked at his surroundings. "Wait a minute, is this some sort of amusement park thing? I rock at these boardwalk games."

"No one _rocks_ at these games, Edward, even you. Though it would probably be amusing watching you try."

I led him over to the ticket window and we bought tickets for the five-ride combo. That way we could experience all of them if he wanted. We started on the Light Tower ride and were bounced up thirteen feet and then back down again. I screamed. That stupid ride always made me feel a little queasy. Next we headed for the musical carousel. I felt a little childish riding the white horse with the flowery decorations around its neck, but Edward looked utterly ridiculous trying to ride on the frog. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at him.

After the ride we headed past some concession stands and Edward bought us a caramel apple to share. "Mmm," he hummed with a full mouth. "It's mouth-watering. I haven't had one of these in years."

He held the stick and I tilted my head to take a bite, spilling some peanuts from the outside down over my chin. "Oops," I smiled, trying to catch them with my hand. Edward beat me to it though and wiped my chin with a napkin.

He laughed lightly. "You are just as klutzy and messy as you always were, I see."

I frowned at him. "Am not," I argued petulantly.

Edward brought his arm around my shoulder pulling me towards his chest. He bent down and then whispered into my ear, "Yeah, you are, but it's absolutely endearing." He then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and I felt myself blush slightly. The things this man did to me made me feel like a teenager all over again.

We walked slowly, his arm still wrapped around me as we shared the apple. It felt so right being like that in his arms. I was determined for sure at this point that the elusive kiss was going to happen tonight. God, I never thought I would see the day where I would have to be devising a plan to kissing a boy. Unbelievable.

When we finished off the apple, we headed over towards the wave swinger. We were the only ones on the ride so the operator let us go on a little longer than normal. Flying through the air made me feel so light, like all of my inhibitions were left flying out of my jean pockets. I was purely happy and carefree much like a child.

"Bella," Edward called reaching out for my hand. I smiled and tried to reach for him. The whole experience was sort of surreal. I felt almost like I was dreaming. I couldn't believe he was actually here with me after all this time. I had to say a little prayer to plead with God not to ever let this end.

When we finally got off the ride, Edward insisted on trying his hand at the games. Low and behold, he failed time and time again. Apparently he didn't _rock_ at these things after all. "I don't get it. I'm usually really good at these things," he pouted.

I laughed at him and rolled my eyes. "Sure you are, Golden boy."

"I am. I swear. Okay, one more time. I promise I'll win you something."

Tugging on his arm, I tried to pull him away. "I don't need you to win me anything, Edward. I already know how good you are. I pay you eighteen million dollars a year to show it to me. Now come on, it's dark and there is nothing like seeing the sights of Chicago at night on the ferris wheel."

Edward followed me reluctantly over towards the enormous Ferris wheel that was originally built back in the 1890's. The ride was over seven minutes long, but we gave the man the last of our tickets so we could stay on it for awhile. Once we were seated in the gondola with the door closed, it started to move slowly upwards. The night air off the lake was cool as we got higher and higher and I couldn't help but snuggle into his warm side. I hummed in contentment as I felt his body heat beginning to warm me and his cheek lightly resting on the top of my head.

Wrapping his arm around me tightly, Edward took in the view. "It really is beautiful, Bella. Thank you for this; I've had a lot of fun tonight."

I mumbled a "welcome" into his chest and felt him shiver. He pulled me closer yet and I couldn't help but close my eyes. I felt so safe and warm in his arms. Like it was where I should have always been. I silently berated myself once again, for walking away from all of it without an explanation.

Edward must have been feeling the same way, because I suddenly heard him apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Bella. For everything. For the past, for pushing you so much when I saw you again, for not being able to win you a stupid stuffed animal..."

I looked into his eyes and laughed at his last statement. "Edward, please shut up you're ruining the moment."

He huffed out a small smirk and looked deep into my eyes like he could see my soul. His emerald green eyes seemed to darken as he stared at me. I was physically unable to look away from him and I could hardly breathe under his gaze. This was the moment I had been waiting for since he walked back into my life. The moment I have been dreaming about since kissing him at the club. This was probably the moment I have been waiting for throughout the past ten years. His head moved slowly towards mine but he seemed tentative, so I gradually lifted my head meeting him the rest of the way.

Our lips touched feather light at first and I swear I could feel the electricity between us in just that initial instant. The next touch was a little more confident and I could feel his lips lightly massaging mine. At that moment, time seemed to stop around us and my senses came alive for the first time in years. My hands gently found their way to the back of his neck and into his hair, bringing back memories of how much we both loved it when I did this. Increasing my strength, I held onto him for dear life as we kissed slowly and sweetly, trying to hold onto every second of this wondrous event.

For once in my life, everything seemed to make perfect sense. I let down my walls and just enjoyed the moment. I'd never felt so safe and secure. He completed me in every way imaginable. It's amazing how quiet and serene it is when your head finally shuts off and stops second-guessing everything.

Edward's arms wrapped tightly around my waist as our kiss deepened and our tongues began to caress one another. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my mouth which only seemed to urge Edward on as he pulled on my waist allowing me to twist in my seat until I was practically in his lap.

I have no idea how long we stayed like that, making out like teenagers, but we pulled away when we finally heard a throat clearing realizing that the ride had stopped and the operator was waiting for us to exit. I blushed furiously and Edward chuckled before taking my hand and helping me out of the gondola. "That was by far the best ride I have even been on," he whispered as he held me close to him.

We walked hand in hand down the pier at a leisurely pace, wanting to draw out the night as long as possible. "You want to get an ice cream cone?" I asked when my mind finally started working again.

Edward stopped at a small ice cream shop and got us each a cone. He opted for the mint chocolate chip, much like I thought he would. He was so predictable sometimes. I picked the cappuccino chip because the espresso smell of it intrigued me when I tried a sample.

"Careful, baby. Yours is dripping and I don't want you to get it on your shirt," he said. I lifted the cone to eye level and twirled it around looking for offending drip in the night sky but couldn't seem to find the culprit. "Here, let me get that for you," he asserted as his tongue darted out and licked at the top and side of the cone.

I was practically mesmerized by that tongue and longed to feel it licking up against me once more. "You okay? You seem a little out of it," he chuckled.

Yeah, he definitely knew where my mind was going with that.

I shook my inappropriate thoughts away and smiled back at him. "Yeah, sorry. I'm good, great even," I replied smiling a little larger.

He just shook his head and chuckled. Like I said, that man could read me like an open book.

We finished our cones on the way back to the car. He had a little ice cream on the side of his mouth so I took one of the clean napkins and wet it slightly in a water fountain and wiped it clear. His crooked smile appeared again. "Am I all clean now, Mom?"

I swatted at him playfully and he pulled me towards him kissing me chastely on the lips once again. "What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?" he quietly mumbled just inches away from my lips.

I groaned. Tomorrow was going to be a hellishly long day. We actually had a night game, but I was scheduled in meetings almost all afternoon. God-dammed meetings. I hate meetings with every fiber of my being. "Probably around eleven-thirty," I answered.

"It's getting kind of late," he noted as he peeked at his watch. "I guess I should be getting you back home."

"I guess," I reluctantly agreed.

We drove back towards my house holding hands the entire time. When we pulled into my garage we drove around for awhile looking for a guest spot for him to pull into. "Don't worry about it, Edward. You don't have to walk me up. Just pull into this handicapped spot for a minute."

"You don't want me to walk you back to your place?" he questioned once we were parked.

"It's not that at all. I just don't want you to have to drive around here forever looking for a spot. It's not easy to find one this time of night." I stated.

He smiled at me sadly. "I guess I'll have to remember that."

I smirked, "Yeah, I guess so."

Edward slowly reached over, gently massaging my cheek and jaw with his hand and then tugged lightly, bringing my face towards his. We shared a sweet goodnight kiss, our lips tenderly caressing one another's. When we parted for a moment he admitted "you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He then smiled a genuinely beautiful smile, leaned in and kissed me again.

"God, Edward, me too." I whispered without thinking.

"Really?" he asked looking into my eyes. I could only nod my head. "Well, this changes things. Are you alright with that?"

"Yes," I answered. Because I was more than alright with that; it was all I ever wanted.

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**A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Please remember to click on that little conversation bubble down below and leave us a review letting us know what you thought of the chapter. We really appreciate your comments.**

**Next update will be on April 26th.**

**All outfits and full chapters with music recommendations are on the blog. http://dpattinson(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

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**Story Recs:**

**~~Secret Sex by erinbatt ~~http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5806017/1/Secret_Sex**

**There aren't enough words to say how much I love this story! Written entirely in Edward's POV, it's about the "secret" relationship Edward and Bella have had since high school, which is hysterical because everyone knows that they are totally in love and in a relationship. Always having been best friends, this story will take you on a journey of how one night will forever change their friendship and feelings for each other. It's happy, lighthearted, wonderfully written, and chalked full of lemony goodness. Each chapter will leave you grinning from ear to ear and trust me, you will fall head over heals in love with SSward. *sigh*  
**

**~~The Gentleman from Washington State by Betty Smith ~~http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5720172/1/**

**Senator Edward Cullen is the handsome scion of the Cullen family. A playboy's playboy, he is taken with an intern in his office, Bella Swan. She is untouchable for many reasons, and he's in a tough re-election battle with Jacob Black. Who, by the way, just happens to be Bella's ex-boyfriend. This story is wonderfully written and and updates regularly. There are also some very original characterizations and pairings with the supporting characters. I started reading it recently and could not put it down.**


	15. Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

**Author's Note: Hello readers. As promised here is the next chapter in a timely manner. Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. We really appreciate them especially after we left you hanging so long.**

**This chapter is jumping in time a little. We are currently in mid-June, I know some of you are always wondering where we are month-wise, since you are so eager to get to the end of the season. I'm trying really hard to follow the exact Cubs schedule from 2009, though I may take a few liberties with the teams and cities they are visiting in the future to make the story work. We'll see though. The story is returning to some angst here. You knew it was coming. Hope you enjoy.**

**Quick Happy Birthday wishes to my dear friend, snshyne. Hope you have a great 27th birthday, BB!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is an original work by D Pattinson and LZTZ. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without our express written authorization. In other words, don't steal this-it isn't nice and we're sure your parents taught you cheaters never win.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 15: Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me**

**Song Selections:**

_**Edward's POV: **_

_"Mr. Brightside" by The Killers_

"_With Me" by Sum 41_

_**Bella's POV:**_

"_In My Place" by Coldplay_

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****Edward's POV****

"So, how are things with you? I feel like I never see you anymore. I thought we'd see each other all the time living in the same city, but honestly I think I might even see you less than before."

Jasper smiled. "Don't I know it. We really should try and make time to get together more often and hell I don't know, maybe even have a guy's night out at least once a month while you're in season."

"Definitely. I kinda miss those days," I agreed.

"So, how are things going with Bella? Y'all have been seeing a lot more of each other in the past few weeks according to Alice."

Of course Alice would keep Jasper informed of mine and Bella's relationship, which I really did appreciate. In all honesty, Alice really has been a godsend for our relationship. Her advice regarding the importance of taking things slow with Bella was vital to hear because without it, I have a feeling that I would have pushed my girl too far and too fast. And this, which I know from past experiences, wouldn't have worked out favorably at all. I guess slow and steady really does win the race, or in my case the girl of my dreams.

I exhaled loudly and could feel a small smile creep onto my face. "Yeah, man. The last month has been really amazing. I mean we're trying to keep it on the down low as much as possible but we spend as much time together as we can despite the constant traveling and all, which fucking sucks by the way. But even though it's borderline impossible being away from her so damn much, I feel like we're starting to get the hang of it and I'm fucking exponentially grateful."

"So are you two officially back together again?" he asked raising his eyebrow ever so slightly. "I mean, I can see why you're keeping it quiet and all though. Who the hell knows how the guys on the team would react to that shit," Jasper added.

"I guess so. We haven't really said one way or the other. It's sort of been bothering me, but I try really hard not to push things with Bella because that technique has never worked with her. Alice sort of recommended letting her take the lead which, to tell you the truth, is frustrating as hell. But it is what it is and she does seem really happy, as am I, so what can you do" I admitted shrugging my shoulders.

Jasper nodded. "I can imagine as it seems like you're sort of in a constant state of limbo. So what, pray tell, is Bella up to tonight? I mean, she has to be up to something for you to _finally_ have time to meet up with me?" he said sarcastically nudging me in the side.

"You're such a chick sometimes, I swear Jazz." He chuckled and shrugged. "If you must know you nosey dick, she's supposed to be meeting up with her uncle and Emmett for dinner."

Pausing to think about what I said, it then popped into my mind that Bella never mentioned Alice joining them, which was weird considering Emmett was joining her.

"Come to think of it, where's Alice at anyways? Why isn't she joining them?" I inquired.

Jazz took a large bite of his steak. "She's in New York meeting with some buyers. She's been trying to see who might be interested in carrying the clothing line she's been working on forever."

"Really?" I asked taking a drink of my scotch. "She's thinking about leaving Bloomingdale's?"

"It's always been her dream to have her own boutique and her own clothing line. She's been working night and day trying to perfect everything for this meeting. Hopefully it goes well. I haven't heard from her yet today, but the buyers she met up with yesterday were concerned over some fabric choice or something. I don't really understand it all. Instead I just listen and nod when she tells me and pretend that I get it," he replied.

I smirked. "Yeah, I guess fashion never really was your forté. Though I have to admit, it's improved dramatically since you started dating Ali. That's probably because she never lets you pick out anything on your own."

"Real funny Edward," Jasper replied sarcastically.

I laughed. "It wasn't really supposed to be funny. I was just stating the facts because you know you're fashion sense sucks."

"Well not all of us have had personal fucking shoppers since we were twenty-one. By the way, get off your fucking high horse and stop acting like you are so much better. You'd have no sense either, if you didn't obsessively pay attention to what they were buying you," he said pushing his empty plate away from him. "Dinner's on you by the way," he smiled mischievously.

"Fucker. You know, you're my agent. Aren't _you_ supposed to take _me_ out and wine and dine me and kiss my ass, since I'm the one supplying you with a paycheck?"

"You mean that measly amount of commission I get for helping you sign multi-million dollar contracts? Please, you wouldn't even have the contract if it wasn't for me?" he jostled. "And anyway, I wasn't aware that we were out on a business affair. I thought we were friends, Edward. I'm hurt," he responded bringing his hand to his heart.

I shook my head chuckled. "Always with the dramatics, Jazz. Fine you win you big fucking baby; I'll pay. Are you happy now?" I pulled my money clip out of pocket and placed my Am Ex card down over top of the bill for the waiter to pick up. "You've always been such a cheap motherfucker. Some things never change, I guess."

Just then the waiter appeared and took the bill. Jasper smiled widely, nodding his head. "Works like a charm every time," he bragged. I can't believe you continue fall for my _dramatics,_ as you say."

I snorted and shook my head. How Alice put up with him sometimes I'll never know. When the waiter returned with the bill, I signed his copy leaving a generous tip and started to put my card back in my pocket.

"Oh, hey. Give me a few minutes, will ya?" Jasper exclaimed excitedly. I looked at him in confusion wondering what the hell he instantly became so excited over. "Dustin Ackley is here. I don't have a clue as to why this kid is here in town but he'll be drafted this year."

"Okay," I shrugged, not really understanding the significance.

"Sorry. It's just that I've heard through the grapevine that he might be interested in ditching Boras since so many teams are trying to avoid dealing with him anymore. The kids are worried about dropping lower in the draft after last year's debacle which means that I might have a chance to sign him. Let me just field him out quickly and see if I can figure out what's going on. Maybe I can entice him to meet with me for a free meal," he smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "I see how it is asshole. I'm not worthy of your free meal, but he is? I'm honestly hurt Jasper," I said reenacting his dramatics from earlier in the meal and clenched my hands around my heart.

He smiled, then stood up and slapped me on the back. "Oh cut the bullshit my friend and suck it up. If you can believe it, my entire world doesn't revolve around you. I'll meet you outside in a few, man."

I chuckled to myself and got up from the table. As I was walking down the few stairs leading past the bar and to the front door, a woman sitting at the bar caught my eye. Her long legs were crossed and she was leaning into the man next to her so that she could hear him better. She had long brown hair that tumbled dramatically over her shoulder and my thoughts immediately drifted towards Bella.

I smiled softly thinking about my beautiful girl. We were supposed to be having dinner tonight, but she called me a few days ago in a panic and explained that her uncle wanted to take her and Emmett out for dinner. She apologized profusely for breaking our plans, but it really was no big deal especially because it was her uncle for crying out loud. I still wanted her to have her independence. It was one of the things that most amazed me about the woman she had become over the years. Her confidence, charm and wit were some of her most attractive features. I mean, I was always aware of these qualities but it was great to see that she finally realized them as well.

Our last month together had been pretty much perfect despite the fact that we still hadn't really defined our relationship. We spent as much time together as was humanly possible for two people in our position. We were still only trying to reconnect and get to know each other again. Our pasts were still on hold at the moment, though I was beginning to feel that maybe we could slowly start bringing some of that stuff up again. I figured we could start slow. Maybe touching on college or our families first, and then working our way into the more heavy stuff.

I must be a complete fucking masochist, but I had to admit I was more than a little interested in her time with Jake. I didn't want to hate him, but damn was it hard. That asshole had gotten to live out practically every one of my fantasies with her- something I was still trying to come to grips with. Even though his time with her was short, he had been able to experience so many firsts with her. Marriage, honeymoon, traveling- all those things should have been ours to do together. Jesus, I hated myself for fucking this up the first time through. Thank goodness Bella seemed to be willing to give me a second chance. I'm not sure what I did to earn this type of redemption, but believe me I was eternally grateful.

Shaking my head from my thoughts, I strolled into the men's room to relieve myself figuring I had more than enough time to spare while I waited for Jasper. After washing my hands, I headed back out past the bar and couldn't help but glance at the woman again. There was just something about her that drew my eyes to her involuntarily, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. I silently cursed myself for even thinking about looking at this woman. I was so incredibly happy with Bella and I just couldn't decipher what it was that continually caused me to glance at her.

Just as my internal cursing was coming to an end; I saw the woman throw her head back and heard her laugh. It was this sound that caused my eyes to widen in horror. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me. _What the fuck?_ It couldn't be her, could it?

I'd recognize that laugh anywhere. I dreamed of that laugh. I spent the last ten years thinking about that magical sound and the way it would immediately bring a smile to my face. I watched in shock as she casually pushed the man's shoulder teasing him and wouldn't you know that the bastard laughed back at her. She made him smile. Him! As if it couldn't get any worse, her beautiful brown eyes sparkled as she gazed back at the man. Just looking at her it was plain as day that she was truly happy, there was no mistaking that.

And this man... well he was certainly _not_ Carlisle. He was probably in his mid-thirties, about my height with naturally curly, light brown hair. His eyes were crystal blue and his dimples rivaled Emmett's when he smiled. There was no doubt that the two of them shared a very comfortable bond, as evident from the scene unfolding right before my eyes. Clearly this was not someone she had just met and I didn't like it one fucking bit.

Stuck in an enraged daze, I walked towards her even though I didn't have any fucking clue what I was even doing or going to say. A mantra was running on a constant loop through my brain, like a motherfucking awful Justin Bieber song stuck on repeat not allowing me to think of anything else. _She lied to you. She lied to you._ How could I have been so easily deceived? No wonder she was in no hurry to define what we were to each other; she was already involved with someone else. Goddamn it! All the nights I had been desperately trying to prove my faithfulness to her working like hell to show her I wouldn't fuck this up, but in reality I wasn't the one who was going to destroy us this time around.. she was.

I walked with determination over towards where they sat still having no idea what the hell I was really doing. Somewhere deep in my brain, a little voice told me I should walk away until I was calmer because Bella couldn't and wouldn't lie to me. The sad thing was though, that my tiny voice of reason was so quiet and that stupid mantra running through my head was practically screaming at me. I was giving her everything I had and she was just throwing it away. Did she think I was some little puppet on a string that she could manipulate on her own free will? Hell no! There was no way I was going to let her get away with this shit. She was going to tell me to my face that what we had was nothing to her. I wasn't going to give up on her or allow her to give up on us without a fucking fight.

My nostrils were flared as I tried to calm my breaths. I came to a stop just behind the man that was _supposed_ to be her uncle. Uncle my ass. Who's uncle looks like that? Just then, Bella glanced over her shoulder and her eyes flashed up to my face. At first it seemed as if she was starting to smile, but then her jaw instantly dropped and I could see fear creep into her eyes. Yeah, I had definitely caught her.

"E... Edward. Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked nervously.

"I could ask you the same question. Especially since this is not what you told me you were up to a few days ago," I replied harshly.

Bella swallowed and then licked her lips. Obviously she suddenly was overcome with a case of dry mouth. "Look, Edward, please calm down. It's not what you think," she said quickly, glancing back and forth between the man and me like she was watching a tennis match at Wimbledon. "This is Marcus. He's my..."

"You think I give a flying fuck who this is, Bella? Do you really think I want to meet the man that you're fucking behind my back?" I asked loudly.

Her mouth fell open and her eyes popped wide. Bella stood abruptly, angling herself between me and the other man. "Edward, you're making a scene." She reached out trying to touch my arms while she spoke. "Please, just calm down and let me explain," she pleaded quietly in a restrained voice. All the while attempting to sooth me by rubbing her small hands up and down my arms.

That shit was not going to work this time. In fact, it pissed me off even more that she was even trying it right now. I shook myself free of her normally calming hands. "I don't need your fucking explanations, Bella. I think it's pretty obvious what the hell is going on here," I continued raising my voice even louder. At this point I noticed other patrons in the bar were beginning to witness the scene I was making, but I really couldn't focus on any of them and honestly didn't give a shit what they thought anyway.

"Look man, just relax for a second and let her talk," Marcus interrupted.

I glared at him over Bella's head so strongly that I could feel the hatred radiating off me in spades which caused my hands to form into fists at my sides. "You," I spat at him leaning over Bella, so close I could feel his breath, "you don't fucking talk. I don't need your opinions on this matter. This is between me and her. Just stay the fuck out of it."

I turned my attention back towards Bella and all I could see was the confusion and utter terror written all over her troubled face. Unable to stop myself, I grabbed at her hand, trying to pull her towards me and out of the restaurant. I couldn't really focus in here at all. My damn head was spinning and I was literally seeing red. Maybe some fresh air would allow me to start breathing normally again. She stumbled forward; tripping over her own feet and practically fell into my chest.

"Oh for the love of God, Bella. Will you ever learn how to fucking walk?" I asked coldly, righting her on her feet. The statement even surprised my own ears as I could barely recognize the voice I was speaking in. It was like I was possessed or something. Never in a million years would I have ever dreamed I could be so cold to this girl.

Apparently having enough, Marcus stepped in and pushed me backwards. "Cut it out, man. I don't know what the hell your problem is, but you will not speak to her like that."

Before I could even register what I was doing, I felt the force of my fist making contact with his jaw. This is when the world started to spiral out of control. In what seemed like the distance, I could hear Bella screaming. And then, all of a sudden, I felt as if someone was pulling me away from behind. All the while I was in shock, simply staring at my fist wondering what the fuck just happened? I raised my eyes and they darted quickly over to Bella. She was staring at me, tears quickly rushing down her pale cheeks. The look in her eyes was one I had never seen from her before. It was vacant and detached, yet full of sorrow and heartbreak. It was a look that I never wanted to see from her, let alone be the cause of, but it was this single look that began to shake me out of my hazy state.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What had I done? Shit, did I hurt her? "No," I said trying to fight my way back towards her. "Bella," I gasped as the grip on the back of my hair tightened.

Then, in a matter of mere milliseconds, the cool breeze from outside hit me with force and I slumped against the wall like a ton of bricks. Once on the cold pavement, I began the task of attempting to focus and piece the last few minutes together in my head so I could determine what the hell just transpired.

"What the fuck, Edward? What the hell was that? Are you out of your motherfucking mind? Jesus fucking Christ," I heard Jasper's voice speaking in a normal decibel but with a harsh tone. "This is going to be a press nightmare you asshole. Do you hear me, a fucking nightmare! And are you kidding me with screaming at your boss in a public place about who the fuck she's fucking? Have you lost your damn mind? Oh hell….and let's not forget about you assaulting that man- that could have been a business associate for all you know. Jesus!" he continued to rant, all the while pacing back and forth like a caged tiger.

"I don't know. I don't know what just happened, Jazz. I saw her there with him and I just…I just lost it. I couldn't think. I don't even know what happened. It's a blur, like I wasn't even there." I tried to explain but I couldn't find the words to do so.

"Well believe me, you were fucking there." He spoke a little louder. "Fuck me! Just get your ass in the car. Let me see if I can go in and talk to her, make sure the guy you seem to be best friends with now is alright and make sure they haven't already called the cops. Shit!"

I was staring at my hand, looking at it as if it was going to magically tell me all the answers or something. I began to open and close it, feeling the tightness and soreness that had already set in hoping like hell I didn't fuck it up. "Go Edward, now. Get in the fucking car and wait there. Do you hear me?" I raised my eyes to look at him not really appreciating being talked to like a child. But when I saw the anger and panic flashing there, I couldn't find the will to argue with him. Well I had certainly made a mess of this night hadn't I? I pushed off the wall and started to walk towards the lot. I then turned to see Jasper heading back inside and could do nothing but shake my head and sigh.

With my head down, I continued walking towards the car and turned the corner around a large black SUV. Obviously I wasn't focused on where I was going because after a few steps I ran straight into a large boulder of a man.

"Masen? What the hell man, you gotta look where you're walking. I can't have my star player getting hurt because he's not perceptive while he's walking," I heard a loud, booming voice chuckle.

My head immediately snapped up and I stared at Emmett in disbelief mainly because he was here. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's freaking me out man. You look confused or some shit. Didn't Bella tell you we were meeting here for dinner tonight?"

I continued to stare at him like a complete fucking moron, as my voice seemed to have been lost permanently at this point. Emmett gave me an odd look. "Are you joining us? Bella didn't mention it earlier, but this is probably for the best. Better for you two to be seen in public with a group then alone. Where you already inside? Did you see her? She's supposed to be waiting at the bar with Phil's brother, Marcus," he said putting his arm around my shoulder to steer me back towards the restaurant. Emmett continued rambling, "That dude is so awesome. We have the best time when he comes into town. You're really going to like him."

My eyes widened at his statement. _Shit, shit, shit_. It was her uncle. She wasn't lying. I didn't even let her explain. Fuck me!

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate. I pushed away from him without a word and turned and headed back towards my car. Crawling into the passenger side, I knew there was no way in hell I was capable of driving at this point. Emmett stared at me with furrowed brows but I quickly dropped my head, only looking back up when I heard Jasper greet him somewhat awkwardly. They made brief conversation and a few moments later they both looked back over towards me. I didn't give two shits what they were saying at this point. Emmett would probably come over here and beat my ass to a pulp, but I couldn't even react. There was no doubt that I deserved every bit of that beat down.

Surprisingly, Emmett headed towards the restaurant, without another glance. Jasper sat down in the driver's seat, snatching the keys out of my hand and started the car. We drove in complete silence for several minutes until he finally decided to speak. "You'll be happy to know that he's not pressing charges" he said seeming somewhat relieved.

At that minute, being arrested was the least of my worries. I was well aware that I had lost my chance with Bella and that she'd never forgive me. Why would she? How could she? It's not as if I didn't know her feelings on this type behavior. My jealousy had been a source of contempt for us in the past and this completely unreasonable and childish outburst was sure to end all things between us for good.

Jasper drove back to my place, parked my car in the designated spot and turned to face me. "Pull your shit together and get inside. Please don't bother Bella tonight. I'm begging you. Just give her some time to calm down. I think both of you need to do that. Please, just do this one thing for me Edward," he begged.

I picked up the keys dangling from his finger and nodded before heading back inside. I plopped myself down on the couch, my head hitting its back roughly, and I closed my eyes. All the varying degrees of emotions that had played out such a short time ago completely exhausted me. At the moment I felt almost numb, as if my brain was actually devoid of any thought process what so ever. I have no idea how long I sat like that, sitting in a state of utter blankness, but I was startled back into reality when my phone started ringing. I reached for it, not even looking at the caller ID. "Bella?' I asked exasperated into the receiver.

"Good evening sir, I'm calling from Carnival Cruise line to let you know that you have been selected to receive a three day, four..."

I hung up. The emotion suddenly hitting me in the face with hurricane force winds made me realize that she was never going to call me again. I acted irrationally- jumping to conclusions too quickly and believing the worst about her. This was honestly insane, by the way, because I knew she loved me even if we hadn't quite gotten to the point of admitting those words to each other just yet. This is what made the entire situation even worse. All this time I had been trying to show how devoted I am to her and us, but in one stupid moment I erased my efforts and transformed into the worst version of myself. I let my face drop into my hands where I literally started sobbing like a baby. The anguish over what I had just done was overwhelming me and I couldn't seem to get a hold of myself. Losing Bella once was terrible enough but I knew if I lost her again, which really would be forever this time, I would never recover.

Despite the night's events, there was no way in hell I was ready to let her or us go. I loved my beautiful girl with such a passion it was probably unhealthy at times. But the fact of the matter remained and I was absolutely nothing without her. She made me whole and I honestly didn't know if I'd survive another heartbreak from her. I wasn't that fucking stupid to not realize that I once again had destroyed my life all on my own. It seemed to be something I was very capable of doing every time a little happiness washed up into it…especially if it had something to do with Bella. I made more mistakes with her than I had in my entire fucking life. Most of these were things that I couldn't take back and most of them were the things that had destroyed us so many years ago.

I could apologize to her forever, in every damn language and way possible, but I honestly didn't think she'd even hear me. I couldn't blame her for not forgiving me because I had been such an asshole. Fuck that, I was worse than an asshole, but I couldn't think of a name for someone like that at the moment. The look on her face as I was being pulled away said it all. She was genuinely scared of me. I was the worst kind of evil in her sad eyes. I was a monster. _I _ had scared her and I would gladly do anything to go back in time and erase that look from her face. I would beg and plead and enslave myself for her if it would take her fear and sadness away. I'd give her my life, my heart, my soul if it would show how completely and utterly devoted I was to her. I promised myself that I would never hurt her again, but I had just carelessly broken that promise.

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****Bella POV****

"Marcus, Oh my god, are you alright?" I gasped bending down to make sure he wasn't hurt.

He rubbed his jaw soothingly as people around us were in a full flurry of motion. A man reached down to help pull him back up towards his feet while a bartender rushed over with a baggie full of ice and clean towel. "I'm fine. It's okay. Thank you," he smiled to the man that had helped him and at the bartender.

"Do you want me to call the police?" the bartender questioned.

"No, no. That's not necessary. Really... I'm fine. Thank you again," he spoke calmly and sincerely before looking back at me. "Are you okay?"

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into him. I'm so embarrassed right now," I cried suddenly.

He reached his arm out and pulled me into his chest trying to comfort me. "Shh... shhh... Bella. It's okay. I'm fine. Don't be embarrassed. Everything is fine."

"Stop saying _'fine_'. _Fine_ is not okay. _Fine_ is not good. _Fine_ is what you say when you are trying to placate someone. Just stop saying _fine_ and tell me the truth," I screeched.

"Bella?" I heard Jasper's quiet voice and looked over at him. My eyes overflowed once again with tears and I threw myself into his arms.

He held me tightly, rocking me back and forth reminding me of something Edward used to do for me when I was upset. Thinking of him caused me an immense amount of confusion. On one hand, the mere mention of his name made the fury inside me start to build; but on the other the only thing I wanted to do was find solace in his embrace.

"What the hell was wrong with him, Jasper? I've never seen him like that before," I questioned him through teary eyes. "I was so scared and he was like a fucking maniac…like he was someone else. And do you know that he wouldn't let me talk? He just kept ranting, and I kept trying to explain, and then the next thing I know he's yelling at me for not being able to walk, and then _Boom!_ Marcus is on the ground. It all happened so fast that I couldn't even process it all," I rambled on and on.

"I know, Bella. I know. Are you hurt darlin'?" he questioned still attempting to sooth me.

I shook my head no against his chest. I then felt him sigh before he continued. "I don't know what happened. I only caught half the conversation, but when I saw the look in his eyes after he yelled at you for tripping, I _thought_ he was calming down. He looked so remorseful for the way he was speaking to you that I thought I'd give him a second to try and rectify this situation on his own. Edward has never been a violent person, so that wasn't even something I thought I had to worry about. And then suddenly I heard the crack of his fist making contact with Marcus and I knew I was too late. I'm so sorry darlin', so sorry. I should have tried to do something sooner. He was so calm and happy at dinner. I barely recognized him myself," he explained trying to comfort me and sounding a tad regretful for not getting to us sooner.

"I'm sorry, man. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need to go to the hospital?" I heard Jasper asking Marcus.

"No, no. I'm _good_, honestly," he said shooting a teasing look at me before turning back towards Jazz. "He really didn't get that great of a shot in," Marcus chuckled. "Just a misunderstanding. Let's just try and forget about it, ok. Tell him I said, 'No hard feelings and no blood, no foul or something.'"

I whipped around to look at Marcus feeling the anger inside of me rising to the surface. "Are you crazy? He just assaulted you. You didn't deserve that."

"Bella, please. I don't want to start anything. He thought he saw something that wasn't here, and in his own mind he was just trying to fight for his girl. I'm sure he feels awful especially now that he's had a second to calm down. Let's just... Let. It. Go. Do you want another drink? Maybe that would help you relax a little," he said in that all too calm therapist's voice that made me want to smash dishes.

Marcus was Phil's much younger brother. He was actually only seven years older than I was and though I had known him most of my life we had really only started to talk and get to know each other in the past five years. Marcus worked as a clinical psychologist in Sacramento, but his work brought him to Chicago at least once a year for conferences. About five years ago we met up while he was in town and had been fairly close ever since. I introduced him to the Cullens while he was in town for one of his trips and he and Emmett hit it off immediately. From that point on, they kept in contact regularly, especially since they shared many of the same interests. Whenever Marcus came into town, we always made a point for all of us to hang out at least once which usually always guaranteed a great evening but apparently tonight was the complete opposite.

"Fine," I grumbled trying to remain calm. The last person who deserved my wrath right now was Marcus.

He chuckled knowing me all too well and bent down to kiss me on the top of my head. "We're good here, man. Go on and take care of your boy. He probably needs it right about now."

"Call me if you need anything, Bella." Jasper leaned down to kiss my head too. What the hell was it with people kissing me on the head? Are they going to start patting my head like a child receiving praise? I felt like a damn imbecile.

"Just keep Edward away from me. I don't even know how I want to deal with him right now."

Jasper nodded. "Understandably. Whatever you need, darlin'." And then he turned and walked back out the door.

"Why the hell are you being so nice to him? I'm sorry, but did you not just see what happened?" I turned my glare on Marcus.

"Bella, he overreacted. It was completely inappropriate I agree, but come on," he sighed bumping shoulders with me. "You spent the entirety of this evening before you saw him going on and on about how great he was and how happy you were finally. You're in love with him… it's pretty obvious to just about everyone. And even though this is a messy situation at the moment, the bottom line is that it isn't going to change those feelings. You have a right to be angry at him, truly you do. Maybe you can even make him grovel a little before you forgive him," he teased, "but that man is deeply in love with you too. And because he thought that maybe, just for a minute, I was trying to take that all away from him he simply lost it.

"I noticed something though. The love you two have for each other is very different. Where you are peaceful and content; he's on edge and desperate, almost like he's waiting for it all to quickly slip away. You two really need to sit down and talk about your relationship. Whatever you have now is not healthy for either of you." He said this with so much compassion that it was evident he had a great deal of experience with such matters.

That got me thinking about why Edward would be so desperate to begin with? Was he so insecure in this relationship that he would honestly think I was cheating on him? That I was going to leave him? I guess I couldn't blame him for feeling this because I did run from him all those years ago, but I could never do that again. He held my heart completely in the palm of his hands, me leaving him was not even an option. It was bad enough the first time. Forget Edward in the matter, I honestly couldn't do that to myself again. He, on the other hand, was a different story altogether. I mean if anyone was going to be leaving it would be him leaving me when he found out about Mackenzie.

"Hey, you two," Emmett's much too loud voice rang out from somewhere behind me. He fist pumped Marcus telling him it had been too long and then came around to hug me.

"Hey, did you see Edward, B?" Emmett said pulling me slightly to the side. While I appreciated his attempt at couth in the matter it was a little late for that considering the scene that had just played out in here.

"I ran into him _literally," _he chuckled_,_ "when I was coming in here. He was so... weird. Looked like he had seen a ghost or something. So then I told him to come inside and join us, thinking maybe he'd relax, but I swear to god he looked so sad, like someone just killed his puppy or some shit. And don't go telling me I'm not perceptive because I know what I saw. I realize I don't know him that well, but it looked like he was close to tears. Really, fucking weird. You should call him and check up on him you know, make sure he's okay and all," he stated sympathetically.

Emmett turned back to Marcus trying to act normally, "Sorry I'm so late. I got stuck in some damn wedding meeting with the florist and Rosie. I'm starved and need a drink after listing to that bullshit," he joked rolling his eyes. "They still don't have a table for us?"

"Should be any minute now. So how is Rosalie? She couldn't join us tonight?" Marcus asked. He and Emmett began to converse, but I fell deep into my own thoughts.

I was so angry and confused at Edward's outburst that I couldn't really think straight. I wanted to take Marcus' advice and be as forgiving as he seemed to be, but I just didn't know if I was capable of it. Not yet at least. Edward had really and truly scared the shit out of me which is something that I have never felt before. From the moment he walked up to us at the bar, his posture and demeanor had been so foreign that I barely recognized him. At first I was thrilled to see him, but when I looked at his face I just knew he was not the man that I had gotten to know over the last two months. Nor, was he the beautiful, sweet boy who wrote me love letters all those years ago.

Edward had always had a jealous streak when it came to me. I had seen it with Jacob and I had even seen it somewhat recently with Mike, but never had I seen it like this. Usually my voice or my touch would be enough to calm him down, but today it had only seemed to incite him. He was unwilling to listen to anything I said and every time I opened my mouth it seemed to make him angrier. I had never experienced this version of Edward in my life and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fearful of possibly of witnessing such behavior in the future.

And the violence. _Holy hell_._ What the fuck was that all about?_ The way he grabbed me so aggressively; I don't think he even understood his own strength. I did everything in my power to stay upright with his force, but in high heels, I just couldn't get my bearings and I ended up stumbling. His voice was so cold as he degraded me there in front of everyone. It was bad enough that he had accused me of _fucking_ someone else, but this was just... ugly and callous. Edward had never, ever spoken to me like that. In fact, I've never even heard him speak to anyone else like that. The cold tone of his voice alone rendered me helpless and completely in shock. Then the next thing I knew, Marcus was falling and Edward was just standing there, staring at his hand. I couldn't help but scream out in horror because the entire situation was morphing into a terrible nightmare. Much to my chagrin, I probably sounded even more like an idiot or the damsel in distress to the people around us. All I could think about was Edward and how the man standing in front of me was a stranger. It was like everything was happening around me and I couldn't move, couldn't react. I felt helpless and defeated.

I looked at Marcus and then at Edward and the tears started to fall. What had happened? How did this escalate to this point? How did we get to this point? Was he drunk? Who was this person? Then Jasper suddenly appeared and was pulling Edward away, and that's when I saw it. I saw the actual shift in his eyes. It was as if the demon had left his body and had been replaced _my_ Edward. He barely croaked out my name, sounding so in pain as he was being dragged away. I stood there like a stone statue, unable to move, because I honestly didn't know whether to run after him or let him go.

Still standing in place, an out of body experience seemed to happened. I could see myself just standing there, looking pathetic while the actions around me continued to run. I tried to focus but everything was so fuzzy, the noises were muffled. It was like one of those bad dreams when you try to move or run, but your legs just don't work. I wanted to panic, to wake up, but I couldn't.

And then someone pushed around me, bumping into me from behind and reality came screaming back in. The noise in my ears escalated to an almost roar and my eyes could focus looking around trying to get my bearings back. Marcus was still on the ground and an overwhelming feeling of guilt took over me as I realized he was just punched while trying to defend me. What made matters worse is that he was defending me from the man who I was _supposed_ to be in love with. The man who had promised to never hurt me again.

And now what? Everything was a damn mess. Edward was probably hurt and confused and I naturally had this sick desire to leave this restaurant and go to him, hold him, soothe him. On the other hand though, I wanted to smack him upside the head. Knock some sense into his tick skull so we could get to the bottom of the catalyst of such an outburst.

Did he really think so little of me? I suppose he should if he knew what I did regarding our past, but he knew nothing about that. He couldn't. If anyone should have been insecure about this relationship it was me. _He_ had cheated on _me_. _He_ was the one who broke our trust all those years ago, not me.I would never consider doing that to him…ever. Maybe I never really knew Edward quite as well as I thought I did. He had seemingly fooled me twice now. What was that old saying? Fool me once, Shame on you. Fool me twice, Shame on me. Well it seemed pretty obvious at this moment that the shame should be on me. It was definitely something I needed some time to contemplate.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. We're working on the next chapter and will have it out to you as soon as we can. If you are interested, we have updated the blog with a picture and bio of Marcus. He is listed under the Dwyer Family subcategory in the third column. http://dpattinson(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Story Rec's:**

****The Mail Order Bride by Lady Gwynedd - http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5885420/1/The_Mail_Order_Bride**

**This story is set back in the 1880's. Bella is unmarried and living with her brother Mike in Virginia. Knowing that Mike's new wife, Jessica, doesn't really appreciate her being in the home, Bella stumbles across a newspaper called the Matrimonial News-- which yep, is kind of like the 1880's version of , but only written by men looking for wives. After reading the various listings, Bella stumbles across one written by Edward Cullen. Through correspondence, she decides to leave her life behind and travel to Colorado to meet him. As you can guess, they eventually fall in love and she really does become a mail order bride. The story is only 7 chapters in, so their little adventure is just getting started. :-)**

****Decoy by 107yearoldvirgin - http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5832993/1/Decoy**

**This story is a cross between Twilight and one of my most favorite 80's movies Can't Buy Me Love. That's probably really showing my age- hopefully most of you have seen it. If not, you really should. Patrick Dempsey is the cutest. It's much more angsty than 107's typical stories but it has some of the usual humor intermixed. It has also a lot of real life situations that she dealt with in high school mentioned. Some of them shocked me. She describes it as: A deal that will change their lives: Bella Swan is tired of being a nobody and makes a deal with one of the most popular guys in high school, Edward Cullen, to help her break into the "cool" clique. But is she who he thinks she is? Or is she more? I think you guys would really like it. Please check it out.**

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**REVIEW--Please click below and let us know what you thought of our return to angst. We're always dying to hear your opinions. **


	16. A Succession of Errors

**Author's Note: Welcome back to all our loyal readers who are still with us, and a bright sunshiny Hello to all our new readers.**

**We know, We know it has been forever. And honestly we'd like to say there was some great life changing event that stalled this update, but there wasn't. This chapter just did not come together as we would have liked and real life has been busy. LZTZ is away all summer in her summer home in Michigan and I have been dealing with all the craziness that happens towards the end of pregnancy. I've got only 3 short weeks left before the little one arrives, so I'll be honest when I tell you, I'm not sure how frequent updates will be in the coming months. Since I'm off for a few months they could be faster, but then again, I may just be too exhausted to think clearly. We'll try our best for all of you. You guys are the best and we certainly don't want to let you down. **

**Thank you to our dear friends: trixietraci, refolin and snshyne for sticking with us and supporting us through this chapter. We can't tell you three how much we appreciate your support and kind words.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight or these characters. Never have, Never will. We do however, own this story line. So be decent human beings and don't try to steal it.**

**** In case anyone forgets the significance of the Andes Mints that are mentioned in this chapter, back in chapter 11 at the coffee shop, Bella mentions to Edward that she still remembers that Andes were his favorite candy. **

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 16: A Succession of Errors**

**Song Selections:**

"_Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails_

"_The Mess I Made" by Parachute_

_"Man approaches the unattainable truth through a succession of errors"-Aldous Huxley_

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****Bella POV****

couldn't sleep. My brain was on a continuous loop like a scratched old record getting stuck at the same spot, never moving. I kept replaying the events of earlier tonight over and over. Damn fucking scratched record. I still wasn't able to make up my mind about what I wanted to do about Edward. There was no question that if we were going to even think about continuing this relationship, scenes like tonight could under no circumstances ever happen again. I was mortified and embarrassed beyond all reason. Marcus, the man who I now think should be recommended for sainthood, was nice enough not to bring up the debacle the rest of the night, thus allowing Emmett to stay in the dark. Emmett would have flipped the fuck out had he known everything that went down. I really didn't want to deal with him and I really didn't want to put Edward in the position of having to answer to him either. Looks like once again, I was doing all I could to protect Edward. Wonder how much he'll appreciate it this time? Since he obviously didn't when I tried to protect him from Phil's wrath from breaking his little girl's heart.

I had been lying in bed for over two hours tossing and turning when I decided that I honestly couldn't take it anymore. If I didn't find something to do with my time, I was going to go crazy. Knowing that this wasn't going to help the shit hole of a predicament I was experiencing, I reluctantly pulled myself into a sitting position on the side of the bed and began weighing my options. Talking to someone wasn't really an option at this time. The last thing I needed was to have Alice, Rose or god-forbid, my mother's voice in my head right now. Yeah, ET wasn't going to phone home this time around at all.

Whenever I was stressed there were only two things that seemed to help relax me, running or baking. Being that it was nearly midnight, I concluded that running was probably not the safest approach to take. Sure I could go up to the gym and run on the treadmill, but that always made me feel like a hamster stuck on that stupid-ass wheel. Running and running but never really getting anywhere, which would only serve to increase my level of anxiety even more. Knowing this was the absolute last thing my nervous self needed, it looked like all signs were pointing to baking.

Upon entering my kitchen, the first thing I did was to start digging through my pantry and refrigerator to determine what kind of raw ingredients I even had to work with. It was at this point I was counting my lucky stars that MTV wasn't doing some random Cribs tour of my refrigerator. Because of my schedule lately, I hadn't really had the chance to actually grocery shop. Despite the fact that I love cooking and baking, I absolutely loathe grocery shopping for some unknown reason. I have no idea if it's the multiple choices or the lines or the damn carts that always have a stuck wheel, but whatever the reason I never find it enjoyable. Um yeah, apparently I have issues with this and should look into seeking professional help immediately.

After my inventory and mini "I hate grocery shopping" meltdown, brownies seemed the most probable and delicious option at this time. I started by softening the butter for a few seconds in the microwave because I always found it better to work with after this little step. From here, I added the softened butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs into the stainless steel bowl attached to my Kitchen Aid mixer. God I loved that thing. It was red and shiny and always looked so damn pretty sitting on my counter. For some odd reason tonight I found the motor sound of the electric mixer the most soothing distraction I could ask for. Once these elements were smoothly blended together, I moved on to the smaller bowl where my dry ingredients were waiting for some attention. It was at that moment that I realized something seemed to be missing. I stuck my finger into the batter and tasted it, but couldn't quite figure out what would make the already yummy concoction better. In the words of Emeril Lagasse, the brownies needed something to "kick'em up a notch."

Heading back over to my pantry, I bit my lower lip in contemplation as I surveyed what else I could add to follow Emeril's advice. There were chocolate and peanut butter chips, along with several different candies and mini marshmallows. Honestly, my mind was already so jumbled after the events of the evening that I couldn't make a decision to save my life. I mean, how hard should it be to bake a simple batch of brownies anyway? In order to refrain from having a brownie baking breakdown, I closed my eyes and reached in blindly deciding whatever I pulled out would be the "missing" ingredient. Once my hand firmly grabbed a package, I slowly opened my eyes and immediately shook my head….Andes Mints, figures. Edward was now invading my cooking space too. I guess the saying "you can run but you can't hide" was truer than one would think. I considered putting them back and choosing something different, but as I looked back at the shelves all the other choices appeared bland and just wrong. As always, everything that I did recently seemed to lead me back to Edward.

I reluctantly headed back over to the counter and threw some mints into a freezer bag. The rolling pin helped me take out some frustration as I crushed them into smaller pieces. Oh how I wished I could be crushing Edward himself right now.

"Ugh!" I screamed out loud. "Why can't I fucking forget about him for just one night? Is that too much to ask?"

As upset and embarrassed as I was after what transpired over the evening, I also knew that I wasn't ready to walk away from what I thought we had until I at least gave him the opportunity to explain. I owed him that. I owed myself that and most importantly, I owed us that. Running wasn't really an option either in all honesty, as my problems never seemed to go away anyway, so it was sort of a moot point.

But not yet. I just couldn't sit and look at him right now. If I had to see the look of devastation on his face that was present when Jasper was pulling him out of the restaurant, I knew I would crack. And while I knew I would most likely give in anyway, I figured letting Edward sweat it out a little couldn't hurt.

The jealousy, which had always been uncalled for in my opinion, had once again reared its ugly head. The question in this case, was really what had spurred it on. Things had been going so well for us in the past month or so. Our relationship was progressing slowly, but it was kind of nice since we were just getting to know each other again. Edward had been trying so hard to prove himself to me and the effort was appreciated, especially when he was on the road. It gave me so much more confidence in the longevity of the relationship because each night that he was gone, it was me he came home to, so to speak. It was me he wanted to talk to, me he wanted to tell about his day….me. Not some nameless roadmeat. And despite everything that we had been through, this was always the dream I wanted to come true. It had been hard for me to push back some of my walls and begin to trust in him again, but I had been persevering in that department so far. I really thought we were on the same page, but apparently he did not have that same level of trust in me as I had in him.

Turning my thoughts back towards the task at hand, I finished crushing the mints and then mixed my dry and wet ingredients together, folding the mints in last. After setting the timer on the stove, I quickly coated my baking pan with some non-stick cooking spray, poured my batter into the glass baking dish, and slid it into the oven. What to do for the next thirty-five minutes? I tried flipping on the television but there wasn't anything on that was even remotely interesting, so I turned it back off only minutes later. I strolled over to my floor length windows and stared down towards the city that I loved. From the height of the condo I could see all the way over to the Pier. The lights danced brightly in the night sky and on the ground as they flickered off the sheen of the lake. Once again, my thoughts roamed back to Edward and our wonderful date there last month.

I wanted that feeling again. I wanted the tingles. The carefree, innocence of that night resonated strongly within my heart. It was a time of hope and promise. _Fuck, I really wanted that back._Instead, however, I stood here almost numb, confusion floating restlessly in the air around me. Who was to blame for this mess?

I wanted to be able to put it all on Edward. Of course he was the easy target. He had been the one to lose his sense of self and act out in adolescent ways. However, Marcus' words haunted me. He said he could sense Edward was desperate and on edge. The question was _why_? What more could I have done to reassure him that I was falling for him again, just as he was me. Honestly, was he that blind? Here I was stripping away layer after layer of my armor to let him in. I knew it was going to be a process but he had forced his way in there. And for what at this point? Once again my self-doubt about this was rising. I had to protect myself first and foremost. I didn't want to run, but I also knew that it was possible that we might not be able to get past all our issues. They just weighed too heavily on each of us. Would it be worth bringing them all to light if we were just going to decide that going our own way was better?

The hum of the oven timer startled me out of my thoughts and I headed back to pull the brownies out of the oven. While they cooled I whipped up the frosting and then began cleaning up. While doing this, a vision of Edward when we were back in Forks, smirking and licking the batter from the bowl, came to memory. Even as confused about our relationship as I was, there was no denying how damn cute he always was. I shook my head to rid myself from this trip down memory lane.

Again, I briefly thought about calling Edward when I was frosting the brownies. It would be so much easier to get to the bottom of this mess now and try to ensure myself a decent night's sleep. But as I picked up the phone, I realized that we were both too emotional right now. So, tomorrow it shall be. Tomorrow would be a better time. We would both have clearer thoughts and could sit and discuss this like adults tying to figure out the best place to go from here. Maybe I could offer up the brownies as a peace offering to get things started. It would certainly make Edward more receptive to a long drawn out discussion. That man always was a fool for my baking.

So lost in my own reasoning I hadn't even realized that I started shaving off pieces of the Andes for a decorative top on the frosting. When I finally looked down at the finished product, I gasped. What the hell was I doing? The last thing Edward deserved right now was homemade brownies, especially ones that were his favorite flavor and looked like I spent hours slaving over them. For goodness sake, he should have been making me brownies and I didn't even really like brownies.

The man I saw tonight bared no resemblance to the one I had spent the last month with. He had scared the shit out of me between the frightening look in his eyes, the horrific words he spoke and the physical violence. I never wanted to see that person again. How could I know he wouldn't be showing that side of him on a regular basis?

I stared down at the brownies in disgust and seriously considered just throwing the whole tray into the garbage. But, as the tray hovered over the trash can, I realized that was not the answer. He may not have deserved the brownies, but throwing them away was sort of like an analogy for our relationship. Maybe Edward didn't deserve another chance with me but throwing it all away carelessly without a second thought seemed just as wrong. If I did this, the second chance we had been given would have meant absolutely nothing. Was I ready to walk away from him for good this time? Would my heart or his, for that matter, ever recover?

Damn it all to hell! Sometimes that man made me feel helpless, I swear. He baffled my brain and made me want to pull out my hair, but the bottom line was that somewhere deep inside, I loved every damn second of it. I loved it because I loved him. As simple as it sounds, it was as easy as that. Now, with that being said, I had no fucking idea what that said about me other than I'm obviously some kind of masochist. Why, why, why couldn't this all just be easy for once? Did I not deserve some kind of retribution in my life for everything I'd already gone through?

Sighing, I covered the brownies and turned off the light in the kitchen. I needed to sleep. Nothing worthwhile was coming from all the confusing thoughts running through my head. Once I was back in my bed, I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was one-thirty already. _Ugh._ I'd have to be up sooner than I would like. Tomorrow we were continuing with interleague play and would be playing our cross-town rivals the White Sox. I drifted off to sleep thinking only of the bragging rights I would love to own after this series.

I was deep in some much needed sleep when an incessant ringing sound finally startled me awake. Reaching blindly for my phone on the nightstand, I felt around but ended up dropping the phone to the ground. Before I could reach for it though, it stopped ringing. _Thank the lord!_ Figuring it was not worth the effort, I left it there and drifted back asleep.

Some time later I heard the offensive ringing once more. Again, I reached for the nightstand not remembering what had happened earlier. I was confused when I couldn't find my Blackberry there, but just as it did the previous time the ringing stopped abruptly.

Almost instantaneously, however, it started again and this time I fully woke up and opened my eyes. I could see the light from the screen shining out from under my bed. Groaning with annoyance that I was going to now have to get out of my warm cocoon to reach it, I sat up and then knelt down on the floor. Of course, I was too late because the phone stopped. I swear if this was Mike Newton drunk dialing me, I was going to have his ass benched for a month. Fucking idiot!

Picking up the phone I scrolled through the missed calls. Five so far. I must have missed the first few in my sleep. Each and every call _all_ from Edward. Newton was one lucky bastard. It was way too late to be dealing with any of this bullshit. What did he expect from me at this hour anyway? I turned my phone on to vibrate and laid back down in bed knowing that answering the phone would only lead to ugly words being said in my aggravation and that was obviously not what we needed right now.

Minutes passed before I felt the phone vibrating against my hand. I popped one eye open and peered at the screen. _Edward._ Was he clinically insane? Was he trying to work my ever-loving-fucking last nerve? This was certainly not the way to get on my good side. Really, the only thing it was doing was making me more and more frustrated with him. Plus, if he needed to say something he could just as well have left a voice message or a text for that matter. If he was lucky, I might even consider listening to it, but at this point he was really pressing his luck.

I let the phone ring twice more, ignoring it. Internally, I was screaming at him for ruining my night even more. Most likely I would never fall back asleep again tonight. I considered turning the damn thing off, but something kept me from doing so.

Time passed once again and I was just starting to get back to sleep when the phone once again vibrated. Either Edward had a death wish or... _shit_, what if something was actually wrong? My concern over thinking something might have happened to him forced me to finally answer the phone.

"Hello?" I replied quickly, trying to control the panic in my voice. I couldn't hear any verbal response due to the excessive noise in the background. "Edward, is that you?" I tried again, speaking louder this time.

I heard a throat clear, "Um, I'm sorry is this Bella Swan?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Nobody had called me Swan in years. _Shit, shit, shit._ Something was definitely wrong. Please don't let this be the cops, I internally pleaded.

"Yes, this is Bella," I answered somewhat tentatively.

"I'm sorry to call you so late, Hun," the man stated.

_Hun?_ Who the fuck was this? I'm pretty sure cops don't address people as _hun_ on the phone. Who the fuck even calls someone "hun?" I was certainly in no mood to be "_hunned"_ right now. He better start talking and quick.

"This is Allyn, I work down at The Rusty Nail," he continued. "I'm not sure if you've heard of it, we're a little place down on the Loop?"

He seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer, and I was honestly so confused at this point that I apologized and told him I wasn't familiar with it. _Yep, my new friend Allyn still had me at "hun" but unlike Jerry McGuire, it wasn't in a good way._

"Oh, well, uh," he continued seeming somewhat disappointed. "I 'spose that's not really important. The reason I'm calling is because I have a _patron _here that I think you might know. He's really not in any shape to be heading home on his own. I was going to call a cab, but he kept insisting he wouldn't leave without at least talking to you."

I groaned audibly. "So he's not hurt? He's not in any kind of physical danger?" I asked quickly. Really, Edward decided that now was the appropriate time to "reach out and touch someone?"

Allyn laughed from the other end of the line. "No, I 'spose he's not in any _physical_ danger. I just think it might be a good idea for him to not be alone tonight. He seems pretty torn up about something and keeps asking me to call you."

"Look, I'm sure you know who he is, though I appreciate you trying to be discreet. Did you call his agent? Jasper Whitlock should really be the person to handle this. I'm not sure how it would look if I was the one to come down there," I answered tentatively.

There was a bit of a pause on the line, but then I heard him ask if I could hold on for a second. Moments later all the background noise seemed to disappear. "Sorry about that, I thought it might be better if I went somewhere quieter to talk to you. I tried to call this Jasper guy earlier, but he never answered. The thing is we're getting ready to close up and I really don't want him to leave unaccompanied."

"Alright," I exhaled loudly, frustrated yet concerned at the same time. "I'll be down in a few. Can you give me your address?"

After I had written down the address to plug into my car's GPS, I reluctantly started to dress. I would have loved to have gone down there in my pajama pants, but I had no idea if there would be any press there and the last thing I needed was to have pics of myself in my Victoria's Secret pajama set helping an intoxicated Edward out of a bar in the middle of the night. I found some jeans and a hoodie to throw over my tank top and brushed my hair back into a neat ponytail before heading out the door.

This was clearly Jasper's job as Edward's agent. I had never been called to pick up any member of this team in the middle of the night before, though it certainly was not the first time any of them had gotten into some kind of trouble. Dealing with this many guys on a daily basis only made me realize more and more that they are a bunch of children needing to be watched like a hawk every moment of every day. All I could say was thank god they all had agents or wives or girlfriends to deal with their stupid asses. Edward was certainly not giving our public relationship the best first impression to say the least. After the night we'd had I was dreading seeing the newspaper tomorrow morning.

I parked my car as close as humanly possible to the address given and started down the street looking for this place. I finally saw a basement establishment with a colorful sign reading "Rusty Nail" on it. How the hell had Edward even stumbled upon this place? It looked seedy to say the least. I just hoped I wouldn't need a tetanus shot after leaving.

I opened the door to the dimly lit establishment and headed down the stairs towards the bar. A short-statured, balding man looked up from the bar. He glanced quickly back at Edward, who as far as I could see was the only person in the joint, then headed over to greet me.

"You must be Bella. I'm Allyn," he said.

I looked at Edward trying to assess him from across the room and then looked back at the bartender, "Yeah. Hey. Nice to meet you. Is he okay?"

The man grinned up at me, "Yeah, I think so. He's put about ten dollars into the jukebox and has been sitting in the same spot ever since. It's been playing this song for hours. I think it drove out half the other patrons" he chuckled.

I winced listening to Nine Inch Nail's "Hurt" play from the speakers. _Jesus, Edward. What have you done?_

"Sorry about that," I apologized. Allyn shrugged good-naturedly. I started to walk over to where Edward sat with his head down on the bar and Allyn returned to his previous place watching us. I was never very good at handling situations like this and wasn't particularly fond of having him watching my every move.

I lightly rubbed my hand over Edward's back, not knowing what to say or really what to do. I was irritated to have been put in this situation, but I was also heartbroken over seeing him in this state.

"Mom," he murmured quietly.

I cracked a smile, I honestly couldn't help it. Jesus, how drunk was he? "No, Edward, it's Bella."

"Baby?" he asked, lifting his head from the bar and practically losing his balance on the chair. I threw my arms around his waist and hurried to help right him.

"Whoa, there. You alright?" Once he was seated securely and weakly nodded that he was okay, I removed my arms from around his waist and really looked at him. Christ, he was mess. His hair was sticking up in every direction, his usually beautiful green eyes were blood-shot, glossy, sad and tired, and his entire demeanor simply made him look defeated and broken. How the hell was I supposed to get him home from here on my own? I probably should have called Emmett or Jasper.

His eyes tried to focus on my own, but all they were really doing was bouncing from side to side. After watching his eyes continue their tennis match for a few seconds, he was finally able to focus causing them to light up slightly. "You came," he pronounced in a sense of awe.

I nodded and then quietly affirmed, my eyes never leaving his. "Of course I came, Edward." This man could melt my heart in ways I didn't even realize. In that instant, I realized there was very little I wouldn't do for him, angry or not.

"I really appreciate you coming down. I offered to give him a ride myself, but he refused. He kept stating that he only wanted you," Allyn interrupted almost sadly, staring directly at Edward.

Edward looked slightly uncomfortable and it was all I could do to hide my giggles and my eye roll. I think Bartender Allyn might have a little crush. Then again, who could really blame him? Edward was hands-down, one of the most handsome men ever created, so it would make complete sense for anyone with a pulse to hit on him. I wanted to bust out laughing; however I could see Edward's anxiety over the entire situation growing. He looked back and forth between me and Allyn, then started running his hands through his already chaotic hair. This gesture was only making Bartender Allyn look at him more dreamily, like he wanted him even more and thus repeating the entire cycle. _Priceless!_

As much as I enjoyed watching Edward squirm, I took pity on him. I stepped back for a second to try and figure out the best way to get him out of here. I really hoped he could walk on his own because Edward was a big guy and carrying him would be impossible to do.

Edward's hands suddenly sprang out from his side grabbing me around the waist and pulling me towards him. "Don't leave me Baby, please. I'll do anything. Just don't leave me again."

His words shocked me to say the least. This was the desperation Marcus was talking about. How did I not notice this before? Whether Edward was begging me in general or whether he thought I might leave him here with the bartender I didn't know, but that desperation was there all the same.

I wrapped my hands around his head and pulled it towards my own. Looking directly into his eyes and hoping he would understand what I was saying to him not just now but as a general statement, I declared, "I'm not leaving you, Edward. Do you hear me? I promise I'm not going anywhere. I'm just trying to figure out how to get you home. Do you think you can walk, because I'm not sure I can hold you up on my own?"

"You're going to bring me home with you?" he questioned shyly looking at me with wide, innocent eyes.

I hadn't really thought about it, but it probably would be easier to take him to my place rather than maneuver around his building. I didn't know his very well at all, so this would make the entire situation even more difficult. "Uh, yeah," I swallowed . "I'm going to bring you back to my place with me. Is that okay?" I was _so_ probably going to regret this all in the morning.

His eyes twinkled at my statement. "I can walk," was all he said as he pushed himself out of the bar stool. It took him a second to balance himself once he stood, but he appeared to be stable…. for the most part.

"Does he need to settle a bill or anything?" I asked Allyn.

Allyn watched as Edward made his way away from the bar and towards the door. "Nah, he's good. Took care of it awhile ago."

I nodded and helped Edward out the door and up the stairs into the cool summer night's air. He only tripped once, which I was grateful for. I kept a hold of his hand the rest of the way to my car hoping he would stay upright and not drag me down with him if he fell over. How the hell he was supposed to play later today?

Once I had him seated and buckled in, I got in the driver's side and sighed in relief. Edward appeared to be watching me with rapt interest. "What?" I asked him, feeling slightly uncomfortable now that we were completely alone. I had seen so many different sides of Edward today it was giving me whiplash, and I honestly didn't know what to think of him right now.

He gave me that crooked grin, which oddly wasn't nearly as cute when he was as drunk as he was. "You're beautiful, Bella. Thank you for coming for me," he hiccuped.

I shook my head in annoyance. Flattery would get him nowhere right now. "You realize we have a game today?" I asked, my voice sharp. He nodded and hiccuped again. He looked like he was about to get sick with all the hiccups. "Don't you dare throw up in here, Edward. I swear I'll make you lick it up." I proclaimed exasperated.

Edward had the audacity to smile at me like I was joking. "I'm not kidding. You will clean every ounce of it up, and then buy me a new car. It's not like I don't pay you enough for that." I glared at him for a moment but then softened slightly. "Just tell me if you think you're going to be sick, so I can pull over, okay?"

"I'm not going to get sick, Bella. I promise" he said practically laughing. "Just take me home."

I looked him over once more, carefully eyeing his complexion to make sure it didn't look green and then started the car and pulled out onto the road. The trip back to my place took about fifteen minutes and was mostly silent. I was debating what to do with him once I got him back to my place. I had no idea where he was going to sleep. The couch was not suitable for him, though he pretty much deserved it. He was too tall and I didn't want him to end up with a neck or backache from sleeping in too small of an area. That pretty much only left my room, and this was not how I envisioned our first night sleeping together to go.

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****Edward's POV****

I couldn't help but stare at her while she drove us back to her home. I could tell she was nervous and slightly agitated. This however gave me some hope. _Slightly agitated_ was more than I could have ever hoped for. Her fingers were gripping the wheel tightly and she was biting on her lower lip, most likely thinking. I wanted to take my fingers and pull that lip back out of her mouth, but I didn't think any quick movements, or my touch for that matter, would go over well right now, especially while she was driving.

She was so beautiful. My whole world. Everything I had ever hoped or wanted sat right there next to me. I hiccuped again and she glanced at me quickly. _Fucking hiccups._ I had made such a mess of things. I could do nothing but stare at her and see all the mistakes I had made not only today, but in the past. I didn't deserve her. Never had.

I turned my attention towards the window and tried to focus on the night sky. The city had so many lights that I couldn't even make out the stars. It was kind of sad in all actuality, so I sat there in silence. Bella obviously was not ready to talk to me. Not that I could blame her. But sitting in the quietness while I was drunk was never a good thing because I over analyzed and philosophized more than I should have.

I realized that the dark sky was like a metaphor for myself. So full of darkness and surrounded by all this glitter, that sort of canceled out all the light or the good in me. Drinking was a bad idea. It only seemed to bring out the broody, self-loathing part of myself. I hated that part of me. As much as I tried to chase it away or hide it behind some closet door, it always tried to fight its way back out at the most inopportune times.

I stared out that window, wrapped up in my own thoughts for longer than I realized because I didn't feel Bella's eyes on me for some time. I looked over to her realizing we were parked in her garage already. "Edward, are you okay?" she asked, eyes furrowed and obviously concerned.

I continued to stare at her because in that moment, I realized I couldn't lose her again. I didn't know if I could survive it. She was the one thing that made me happy. The only thing at this point. I knew that wasn't healthy or even fair to her, but she had become sort of a lifeline for me in the past month or so. She gave my being a purpose again. She made everything in my life worth it.

"Edward? Jesus, you're scaring me. Are you okay?" she asked again.

The desperate tone of her voice startled me out of my thoughts. "I'm so sorry. Jesus, I'm sorry, Bella. I don't even know what to say or how to make it up to you, or why you would even let me make it up to you, but I just need you to know how very, fucking sorry I am," I pleaded.

"Don't. Not now. I'm tired, Edward and right now, I just want to forget about all this. Tomorrow we can sit down and talk this out if you still want, but please I'm begging you, not now."

She was so obviously drained and miserable. I hate that I had done that to her again. And drunk or not, I knew when it was best not to press my luck. I sighed and nodded to her then opened my door and stepped out slowly. Things may have started spinning a little when I stood up, but I sure as hell was not about to admit that to her, so I closed the door and leaned up against the car.

Bella walked around and looked at me questioningly. I smiled shyly and she bit her lip once again. I was nervous, I'm not going to lie. We hadn't spent the night together yet and this was nowhere near how I had hoped our first night together would go. Me on her couch. Fuck, I'm such an idiot, I swear.

I started to lift my hand to push it through my hair in agitation, when I felt her small hand envelop mine. I slowly dropped my arm staring at our entwined hands. "It's fine," she whispered, obviously reading my mind. "Come upstairs with me."

She squeezed my hand as we slowly made our way up to her floor. I'm sure the slowness was more for my benefit than hers, but I wasn't about to complain. It might be the last chance I ever got to touch her skin.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," I said as I sat down on her sofa, realizing only now how exhausted I really was.

She smiled sadly then left the room only to return a minute or so later with a large glass of water, two aspirin and the biggest damn brownie I had ever laid eyes on. "Maybe we shouldn't make a habit of these type of nights, but that being said...," she drifted off momentarily staring at the floor and chewing on the side of her mouth, "I'm not going to lie, it's really nice having you here. It doesn't feel wrong. Maybe it should, especially with how things are right now, but it doesn't."

She looked back up at me for confirmation. "Yeah, yeah it does," I nodded emphatically. I cleared my throat and thought quickly how I could apologize to her again and make this right.

But before I could speak, Bella interrupted. "Eat. Please. Take those pills, finish that water and eat. I really need you to be functional tomorrow. It will make me much more forgiving tomorrow if you play well," she smiled mischievously. "Plus, I made those damn brownies for you anyway and I just need to see you eat it and enjoy it right now."

I did what she asked. I would do anything she asked, but let's face it; this task was hardly difficult to swallow. Not to mention that fucking brownie ruled my world right about now. Jesus, the woman was too damn good for me.

"Thank you," she whispered sweetly. "I'm exhausted, so let's just go to bed now, okay?"

I nodded in agreement since I was about to fall asleep sitting up in this chocolatey-mint induced coma I was just subjected. "Do you have a blanket or pillow I could borrow? I'm sorry to inconvenience you."

"Edward, I'm not going to let you sleep out here, though you probably deserve it. Just,... just come to bed with me, please?"

I thought briefly how I wish I could have a do-over of this whole day and still end up here right now, so that I didn't feel like this was a pity invite, but I wasn't about to let my girl beg like that so I got up and went with her.

"I'm just going to go change back into my pajamas real quick," she said once we were in her room. "Can you sleep in your boxers? Do you need a t-shirt? Because I probably have one of Emmett's here somewhere."

"I'm fine, Bella," I replied and slowly removed my long-sleeved thermal revealing the grey t-shirt underneath. She stood and stared at me. It was both nerve wracking and wonderful all at the same time.

She cleared her throat after a moment and then walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her. I finished taking off my jeans and shoes and sat on the edge of the bed to wait for her. When she stepped back out in her thin, cotton pajama pants and tank top, my breath caught. I felt like I was seventeen all over again. She was so damn beautiful it hurt. She most definitely was not the same girl I had climbed into bed with all those years ago. Her body had morphed from girl to woman and those curves were about to kill me.

She walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in under the covers. I followed suit. We both turned on our sides and faced one another. I was never going to be able to sleep if things were left like this. We laid there in the dark staring at one another for many long minutes. Suddenly, I heard her sigh and felt the shift as she moved closer towards me. She reached out and entwined our fingers, bringing them between our chests. "I forgive you, Edward. We still have a lot to discuss, but I'm not walking away, okay? Please believe me. I want this just as much as you do. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear to you before, but I really do."

I gripped her hand tighter and had to fight back the tears in my eyes. Thank god, it was dark enough in here that she wouldn't see them. Her forgiveness was more than I could ever ask for. I wanted to kiss her senseless but I held back. Tomorrow maybe. "Thank you, baby. It's obviously more than I deserve and I promise to spend the rest of my life making sure you don't regret this."

She surprised the hell out of me by chuckling. "Don't make ridiculous promises that you can't keep, Edward. Just hold me and let's fall asleep together."

I reached out for her and held her tight against my side, wrapping my arm under her head and around her back. "That I can most definitely promise you," I whispered as I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Both of us falling asleep only moments later.

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**A/N: Not that we deserve it after this long of a wait, but we'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts on this chapter. So please be kind and press that review button below.**

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****Story Rec's**

**Truth be told, there are about a hundred we could recommend since we've last updated but here are a few to get you going.**

**Coming through the Rye by Mac214. **

**_www . fanfiction . net/s/6048208/1/_ **(Make sure you get rid of the the spaces before and after the dots)

** This is a fairly fluffy piece of fic with Edward as a Scottish ex-patriot and Bella as his best friend. Edward is a real guy's guy in this story with an enticing accent (sigh) and he's fighting to stay in the states after losing his work visa. Bella's slightly neurotic with an old chain-smoking inner persona named Madge, that makes her second guess everything. How far will Bella go to help her best friend? Read the fic and find out. The story is about at it's halfway point right now and the author updates regularly-Unlike us. If you are already reading the story, let me know what you think of it. ~ D. Pattinson**

**Million Dollar Baby by clpsuperstar**

**www . fanfiction . net/s/5983247/1/Million_Dollar_Baby **(Again, makes sure you get rid of the spaces before and after the dots)

**I'm just stating, for the record, that I'm loving this story more than I love my Prada shoes or diamonds. So, considering that I love my shoes, diamonds, and handbags this story's got to be fantastic! Anywho, Million Dollar Baby is about Bella's decision to willingly enter the sex slave business all as a way to save Renee's life. After she's bought by Edward for a million dollars (due to the fact that Bella is a 23 year old virgin), she enters this "business arrangement" to be his live-in sex slave for the next five years. As shocking as this seems, let me tell you that these two are an absolute riot together. Bella is snarky with Edward right off the bat and Edward pushes her buttons something fierce. Her inner monologues are hysterical, especially because she can't stop thinking about or staring at Edward's ass. Despite it all, it's easy to tell that they are both developing feelings for the other even though they are not admitting this to themselves yet. It's only 9 chapters in so give it a read. I promise you will not be ****disappointed! ~LZTZ**


	17. Fighting the Fall Out

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much for all your patience. I could give you a million excuses, but I'll just make it simple and say that new baby + working full time and taking call 24/7 = zero creative energy. I didn't want to just post something that I wasn't happy with, so it's taken some time. Plus this chapter kind of wrote itself—In a bad way. It was not at all where I planned for it to go, but in the end I decided to go with it anyway.

For everyone who has reviewed and PM'd me and LZTZ while we were gone, I thank you. Know that we have absolutely no plans to abandon this story. I DO NOT foresee it taking this long to update again. My son is finally on a sleeping schedule which is allowing me to sit and write a little at night.

Oh yeah, we don't own the rights to Twilight—Obviously. However, we do own the rights to this plot, so please don't steal it. And without further ado...

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 17: Fighting the Fall Out**

**Chapter Songs****:**

"_What You Waiting For?"_ _by Gwen Stefani_

"_Maybe" by Everly_

"_Don't Matter" by Akon_

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****Bella POV****

I was dreaming. I knew that I was. Currently, I was experiencing one of those dreams where you know what's happening is too impossible to be real, but yet you still can't get yourself to wake up. Sometimes you want to rid yourself of the dream, sometimes you never want to; While others you are simply left with thinking "what the fuck" was this all about. Well, I can honestly say that this happened to be one of _those_ moments.

We're on Family Feud and I'm the head of the family or the lead team member or whatever I am called. I haven't watched this show in years so I'm a tad rusty on the Family Feud lingo but, at this point, that's irrelevant. Anyways, Emmett is yelling at me to hurry up and make a decision. "Time is running out," he keeps yelling. I hear the buzzer going off over and over, but I can't seem to decide the correct answer. I'm starting to sweat under the pressure which then leads to the distraction of needing a shower which only serves to hinder my decision making process. Yeah, it's like bad domino effect. Alice is jumping up and down which is a classic Alice signal for knowing the answer. When I see this, I'm completely aware that I should select her answer because she is usually right but, for some reason, I can't. Instead of leaning on my family or teammates or whatever you want to call them, her actions are only serving to make me more and more nervous with each passing second.

It's at this moment of panic that I look across at the other family. Edward is there. _Why in the hell is he on the other team?_ He's smiling that gorgeous crooked-smile that I love. It takes my breath away and calms me all at the same time. I can still hear that incessant buzzing in the background. Someone needs to make it stop but for some reason it doesn't. Because of this, I think it has to be the timer but I can't be sure. I really can't be sure of anything at the moment.

Shit, I'm so _hot_ right now_. _Typically I'm pretty good under pressure, but Jesus, I'm literally sweating. Cue the thoughts of needing a shower again or maybe swimming naked with Edward... or maybe, taking a shower with a naked Edward. _Hmmm… that really sounds amazing. Christ, now I'm really hot and bothered._

Even through the constant buzzing, Emmett's shouting, and Alice's jumping routine, looking across at Edward I realize that I want nothing more than to get to him. Be on his team. I'm supposed to be on _his_ team, not against him. I don't know why, I just know that I am. Logically, I'm aware he's not _actually_ part of my family, but it feels wrong. It should be him and me always. Instead of being opposing forces, we should be working together as one unit, one team now and forever.

And it's at that instant that I decided it time to screw this game. Looking at Edward makes me realize that it's not about winning nor is it about pride at this point. When all is said and done, the point to all of this is simply for me to get to him. Just when I start to move, I quickly realize that something is anchoring me to my spot and I can't. Just my luck. I'm developing a headache due to the damn timer still buzzing, so I decided that I have no choice but to answer the question. At this point, I'd do just about anything to make that stupid timer stop running and tget his game over with.

"Candy cane," I scream out just as the timer makes one last final buzz. Then just as quickly as the room was full of noise, it suddenly becomes eerily quiet. I tear my eyes away from Edward and look at the board.

Suddenly the host, John O'Hurley, is standing in front of me. Damn I can't even dream about the old school Family Feud. "For the win, do I see _candy cane?_," he asks. He looks so debonair in his tux. I wonder why he wears a tuxedo to host a game show? It's odd. I mean this is a family game, hardly a black tie affair. As if my thoughts aren't random enough, I then start internally debating if his tux was designed by Hugo Boss or Armani or Ralph Lauren because it _is_ a good looking suit. I should ask Alice, she would no doubt know. Wait, why am I even thinking about this? My mind rambles about the stupidest shit when it's anxious.

_Focus, Bella, focus._ I look back to the board on the wall. Everyone is staring and waiting on pins and needles. The anticipation is killing me. Will that damn board just flip over already?

Then finally the buzzing happens again. We lost. The _Survey_ did not say candy cane. Who are these stupid survey people? How could they _not_ say candy cane? Emmett groans loudly, whining that I should have picked his answer. "I swear, you never listen to me, Bells." He's aggravating me. He's such a sore loser.

The buzzing is getting louder, taunting me, and I just want to escape in embarrassment. I peak across the room to see if anyone is really paying any attention to me. Maybe I could make a fast-break for the door. Edward and Jasper begin fist-bumping. It's not even fist-bumping really. It's some ridiculously complex five-part hand-movement-thingy. I don't get it. What happened to just giving a high-five? So much easier and way less spazzy looking then whatever those two were attempting to do. Sometimes I miss simple. Jesus, now I'm thinking like my grandmother. I'm officially stuck in the weirdest, most annoying dream ever.

Why won't that buzzing stop? I want to cover my ears, but I can't seem to move normally. It's like pushing against cement or running in quick-sand. If only I could try a little harder I may be able to save myself before completely drowning. I start pushing against the barrier and finally break-through waking myself in the process. And just as quickly as the dream started it abruptly ended.

My eyes fly open and I look around my room in a panic. It's so hot I can hardly breathe. _Must get these covers off me immediately,_ I think as I push my feet out to the side of the bed. The cool air allows me to focus a little. The barrier I couldn't seem to escape is of course Edward's arm that seems to have kept me tight to his side all night. I guess I found the quicksand pulling me down after all. I can't help but smile a little at that because if I was going to drown then I'd gladly let this beautiful man be my anchor.

While I'm caught in my thoughts about Edward, the incessant buzzing clearly has no intention of stopping. Now that I'm awake and coherent, I quickly realize that the noise is my damn cell phone. Good lord, what could be so important for me to hear at this moment?

I let out an audible whiny-groan, not wanting to wake up yet. The clock on the dresser is blinking one 'o four. Well hell, the electricity must have gone out. Just then I hear a loud boom as the thunder rolls from outside. The room is cloaked in darkness thanks to the storm, making it the perfect sleeping conditions. Edward is snoring softly next to me and despite the chaos outside, I've never felt more safe in my life.

That is of course until my phone begins vibrating again and I notice Rosalie's name on the display. This can not be good.

"Hello," I croak out. My voice is definitely not quite ready to work. I feel like I went to sleep only fifteen minutes ago. _God, what freaking time is it anyway?_

"Took you long enough," she snaps back.

"Why so harsh this early in the morning, Rose? What time is it anyway?" I ask while trying to disentangle myself from Edward's arms. I'm so comfy right here and I really don't want to get up. Clearly he's thinking the same thing because when I try to move he instantly pulls me closer. I've missed snuggling with him more than I realized.

Just as I was thinking about how much I've longed for this feeling with Edward, I'm brought back to reality through the sound of her dark chuckle in the phone. "Harsh? Hardly. Harsh is what Emmett is going to be when he sees this write up in the paper. You are so lucky I picked up the newspaper before he woke up."

"Fuck," I mumble out loud as I push myself the rest of the way out of the warm bed. I steal one small glance back at a peacefully sleeping Edward, before stumbling into my kitchen. "So, what does it say? How bad is it?"

"Well," she pauses "it could be worse. At least there are no grainy cell phone pictures or anything and there doesn't appear to be any official police report to verify any of the information," she sighed. "But what the hell, Bella? Are you and Edward together? What is all this? Did he hurt you? Because, I will kill him if he did. That piece of..."

"Enough, Rose," I interrupted with a grumble. "I'll answer your questions, but I'm not going to sit here and do some sort of inquisition with you. Yes, Edward and I are together. We've been seeing each other privately for about six weeks or so. We're still figuring stuff out and I didn't want to get you involved until I was more sure.

"And before you ask, yes, Emmett knows. Well, let me clarify. He knows about us hanging out and talking, not specifically about the details of last night. He's sort of in denial over the whole thing, but he knows what this all means to me so he's trying to be supportive without actually fully acknowledging the situation. Does that makes sense? I mean, we've discussed it a little in the past. He's just really worried about the consequences of what it all could mean to the organization and I understand that.

"As far as what happened last night? I can't really tell you all of that yet because I'm still not a hundred percent sure myself. I was out with Marcus and ran into Edward. He thought it was something else, got jealous and got into Marcus' face. It wasn't pretty. Hurtful things were said, but no, I'm not physically hurt. It might take some time, but we're working it out. That's all I can tell you." Letting out a long sigh I waited for my best friend's response to the mini bomb I dropped on her.

Rose groaned loudly on the other end. "Jesus, Bella. Dating one of the players, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not sure the board or the other players are going to take that too well. And don't even get me started on the commissioner or player's union. They will freak. Oh God, and the public..."

I sighed loudly interrupting her more than valid concerns and gathered my thoughts. "You're probably right," I answered bluntly. "But honestly, I decided it doesn't matter. I can't help who I've fallen in love with and I'm tired of putting my life on hold. I'll resign if it comes to that but I really don't think that it will. But if it does, it will all be worth it because he is worth it. It's that simple."

Two gasps simultaneously filled the air.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? You can't be serious, Bella. It's that simple? No, it's sure as hell not! You're in love with him? And resigning? I love you, B, you know I do, but you've worked too hard for this. You've obviously lost your mind," Rose screeched in the background.

I wasn't focusing on her though. Instead my eyes focused on the slack-mouthed Edward standing in the doorway staring back at me.

"Maybe I was wrong about everything in the past. And it is that simple. I gotta go, Rose. We'll discuss this later. Tell Emmett not to worry, ok?" I said distractedly before hanging up. Yeah, round two of this discussion with her wasn't going to be fun at all.

"Uh, hey," I replied nervously biting my lower lip, but never removing my eyes from his face.

Edward swallowed thickly. "Did you mean it?" he asked, his voice still deep, but unsure and thick with sleep.

"Mean what?"

"All of it. What you said to Rose, did you mean it?," he asked, walking slowly towards me. He hooked his finger into my waistband and pulled me closer to him, so that we were now chest to chest allowing our hearts to have a silent conversation with the other.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. My throat felt suddenly swollen and I didn't think I could speak, so I just nodded my head nervously.

"Say it again," he whispered. "Please. I need to hear it again."

"The maybe I was wrong part?"

He chuckled deeply but shook his head no. That was only wishful thinking on my part.

The air was so thick around us, the sexual tension almost stifling. "I love you," I breathed out quietly. "And if push came to shove, I'd walk away from all of this... for you," I said with more confidence. I may not have been confident about much, but this was something that I have never felt more certain about.

Within an instant, my lips were caught between his in a passionate kiss. Our lips moved together in perfect synchronization as our tongues slowly massaged one another. It was heaven. One of those perfect kisses that I thought only happened on the big screen. But God, was I wrong. My body tingled from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. I pulled away reluctantly only when I thought I might pass out if it lasted even a second longer.

"I've waited so long to hear you say that. This is like a dream," he gasped in between chaste kisses to the sides of my mouth. "You're everything to me," he said with conviction, staring deeply into my eyes. "I won't let you resign. Not for me and especially not over this. We'll figure it out somehow. Trade me if you have to."

I shook my head violently. "No. Never. You're not going anywhere. I can't, I just can't. I won't allow it either. I'm not letting you go, Edward. I don't care what anyone says about it... about us." I could feel a panic attack quickly approaching which was something I did not want to deal with at this moment.

Sensing as if I were close to the edge, Edward pulled me tighter to him and quietly whispered into my ear "Shh, okay. I'm here Bella. For as long as you want me, I'm here."

My mind was reeling. I hadn't expected to make this sort of declaration this morning. Not that I didn't mean everything I said, it's just that we still hadn't talked about yesterday, let alone our past. There were still so many secrets and demons to overcome. And here he was pledging to be there for me as long as I wanted. Somehow, I doubted the sincerity of that once he found out the truth.

We stood that way, locked in each other's arms for what seemed like forever. "We should get ready to go, though I doubt we'll be playing any sort of game in this weather," I finally admitted.

"I know," he answered kissing my forehead. "But maybe that's good. It will give us some time to ourselves today," he smirked.

"As nice as that sounds, Edward, if we're off, we need to spend the day talking and rehashing all this stuff." I took a deep breath before continuing. "It's time to talk about the past. We can't really move forward until we can accept the past."

His look was unreadable. Why, I wasn't sure. He had always been the one ready to dig into the past. After a moment his eyes seemed to brighten again and he nodded, kissing me once more on the lips. "So, I guess it's time to face the firing squad, huh?"

And with that, despite the weather outside and with the reality of what we were facing I have never felt more loved, more sure of anything in my life. I could only hope that this love would be enough when the truth finally came out.

**~o~THC~o~**

I dropped Edward off at his condo before I headed into the office. It was probably best if we didn't show up together. The rain was coming down in buckets and the large umbrella I held did nothing to keep me from getting soaked. I cursed myself silently for still being too uncoordinated to run in heels.

When I entered the stadium, I headed straight up towards the executive offices, hoping to hell I could avoid running into anyone of importance. Tanya gasped as I entered the main doors. "Oh my goodness, Ms. Black, let me grab you something to dry off with."

"Thank you, Tanya. Could you also get a hold of Rose and ask her to bring me a change of clothes on her way in?"

"Of course, absolutely," she answered handing me a hand towel from the en-suite bathroom.

"You can make that call from my office, Tanya. Bella and I are going to need some privacy." Emmett's deep voice floated across the room.

I smiled sincerely at Tanya and thanked her before she hurried out the door.

I turned back towards my desk, pretending to focus solely on patting my shirt dry with the towel so as to avoid Emmett's death glare. "Morning, Em," I tried as casually as possible. "Doesn't look good for a one p.m. game today."

He sighed dramatically and grumbled something under his breath before speaking with obvious fake enthusiasm. "Yep, sure looks like a shit storm to me. Though, I'm not sure which is looking worse right now. The weather," he replied turning me around abruptly, "or the mess you and Masen have made.

"Why the fuck was I not informed of all this last night? Christ, I was there Bella. You and Marcus went about dinner like nothing out of the ordinary had just happened only moments before. Though now that I think about it, I certainly see why Masen looked like he was about to shit himself when I walked up to him in the parking lot."

"Emmett calm down. All that article has in it is hearsay. No one involved gave an interview or even commented. I don't even know how it made it into The Tribune. I mean, I could have understood if it had been in The Sun-Times, you know they are always trying to dig something up, but..."

"Enough, Bella. Like it matters what fucking paper it was reported in. You're just trying to stall. Spill it already, so we can get on the offense here and figure out what the hell we are going to say. And by the way, you two are done. You promised to try and keep this thing low-key and this whole debacle is anything but low-key. We don't need this kind of drama within the organization. It's a fucking embarrassment," he sneered.

I could feel my face turning red with fury. Who the hell did he think he was? I was hoping we could sit down like adults and discuss a game plan, but apparently Emmett had already made up his mind. Well, too bad. I was tired of just existing in this life. It was time for me to start living. Even if it did mean there would be a fight each step of the way. I was done running and that was that!

Standing up straight and pulling my shoulders back, I breathed in deeply to try and center myself. I was not going to fight with him on this. It was my life and I made my own decisions.

"Actually, Em that's not what's going to happen. You are not my boss, nor are you my father. I made this point before. We're _partners_ here. Get it? Partners. We make decisions together, not for one another, or perhaps you have forgotten that. I let it go when you went over my head and signed Edward on your own. I dealt with it the best way I knew how and somehow, miraculously, it actually led us back together. I will not apologize for that. Nor will I apologize for the feelings we have for one another. I'm happier right now, even with all this drama floating around, then I've been for as long as I can remember. And I will not let you or anyone else ruin this for me.

"I'm sorry it all blew up like this and I'm sorry you got dragged into the middle of it. Now, if you want to talk about how we are going to handle this, I'm all for it. But I will not have a screaming match with you. I'm not five; I don't need to be sent to time-out for breaking a rule. You need to understand that I will do whatever is necessary when it comes to making this work." I said as calmly as I could.

Before he could reply, I took a breath and continued "So once again, you have a choice here. If you support me like we agreed upon awhile back, you know that we will have the best chance of coming out of all this intact as an organization. The way our grandfather would have wanted us to continue. If you decide that you can't," I shrugged before continuing "well then, I'll accept that. But you know damn well that the board will most certainly take action if we do not have a united front. Breaking it off with Edward is not a choice. That leaves us with either trading him, which would be a colossal mistake for the team, or me resigning. I'm not afraid to do it if it comes down to that choice," I finished.

Emmett stood speechless for a second. _Yeah what do you have to say about that Emmett_? Then, he finally startled back to life by rolling his eyes.

"Jesus, you'll be the death of all of us, Bella," he said exasperated. "You know I can't and won't do this without you. So let's sit down and figure out a game plan and then we'll schedule something with the board to address the issue. I want us presenting things to them, not them putting us on the defensive. We need to control all of this or it's going to get out of hand. The sooner the better I say."

He sat down at my desk and grabbed a pen and paper jotting a To-Do list down. I had to internally giggle because Emmett was not a "making list" kind of guy. "Thank you, Em," I said reaching across the desk taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "You know I love you and I wouldn't risk all this if it wasn't important." I said in a voice full or sincerity.

He smiled, I mean really smiled at me, and nodded giving my hand a squeeze as well. "Let's hope that it is." With that, he released my hand and flipped the page in the notebook writing "Game Plan" across the top. Leave it to Emmett to figure out how to put a sports twist on anything. Such a guy.

"We're gonna need Rosalie. She'll know what to do when it comes to figuring out the best media approach."

"Ignore it," came the voice from the doorway.

I looked up just in time to see Rosalie tossing a duffle bag my way. Thank God, my reflexes had improved with my age. "Ah, dry clothes. You are a lifesaver, Rose."

I stood abruptly and headed into the bathroom to change out of my damp clothes. "So, ignore it. That's what you think is best?," I called out through the door.

"Definitely. Publicly we say nothing. If the press starts asking questions, shrug them off. We'll give them a vague half-truth if we need to, but _only_ if we need to," she added. She made it seem so simple, so easy. I thought for sure that after my morning conversation with her this would not be the direction we would be taking.

"Well, I'd be more comfortable if we had a back-up story just in case. I don't want to get caught in some stupid little details. I'm not the best liar, you know." _Hmm, I wonder where Rose got this shirt? I kinda like it,_ I thought as I checked myself in the mirror.

Emmett's booming laugh filled the room. "Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my Poker Face," he started singing. "Yeah, it's safe to say, that song was not written by you."

"You're such an idiot, Baby," Rose snickered. "So we'll say something like, you and Edward were acquainted many years ago. He and Marcus were simply having a minor disagreement over a mutual friend and that the whole scene has been blown completely out of proportion. Hopefully, we won't even have to go there," she finished as I stepped out of the bathroom.

Rose looked me up and down as I walked back towards the desk. "What?," I asked.

"That looks good on you."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"It will definitely work well enough for you to leave in," she said spinning me around. "Not too dressy, not too casual. You don't want it to look like you're trying too hard or that you're afraid to talk. This looks like something you would wear on a normal day. Of course, your hair and make-up would be a little better, but I'm not a miracle worker when it comes to working with a drowned rat."

I rolled my eyes at her and tried to finger comb through my wet locks.

"Now," she continued taking a seat. "The press is already waiting outside to hear word on the game and, because they're nosy shits, I'm sure they'll stick around to try and ask you, Edward or anyone else in the organization that is willing to talk some questions. We've got to get Edward up here without drawing too much attention to him from the other team members and let him know the plan. Emmett," she snapped back around to look at him, "you get on that. Maybe ask for a few other players as well so it doesn't look like we're singling him out. I'm sure you can find something to compliment or bitch out a few guys about."

Emmett made a call down to the locker room quietly while Rose continued to brainstorm.

"I'm going to try and set up an emergency meeting with the board for tomorrow morning. I'm sure they'll be expecting one for today, but I think we'll look less concerned if we act like it's not a big deal to wait until tomorrow. I'd love to put it off for a few days," I paused contemplating, "but one of them is bound to get too anxious and demand something earlier. I want them as calm as possible. It's got to be tomorrow for this to work."

"For sure. Tomorrow is the right choice," Emmett said standing. "I'm heading back over to my office. I need to make it look like it's business as usual up here when the guys start coming in. You two continue strategizing. Keep me informed. And, while you're at it, get Whitlock on the phone. He needs to know what our plan is.

"Bells," he said looking over at me. "This _is_ going to work. I'll let you know when I get confirmation on the game cancellation and we'll leave here together. Just in case," he added giving me a small smile.

I nodded, then sat and got down to business with Rosalie.

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****Edward POV****

"Bradley, Pena, Masen and Soriano," coach yelled. "Get your asses upstairs. Cullen's waiting to meet with you."

A few disgruntled moans rang out as expected. No one liked getting called up to Emmett's office. It usually ended with getting your ass being handed back to you.

"Now, now boys. Better watch what you're saying," Crowley piped up. "Or didn't you hear?," he asked giving me a disparaging glare. "Looks like Masen here has got an in with 'Hot Tits'. Isn't that right, Eddie-boy? Must have been one hell of a _fuck_ to earn you 180 mil."

"What the fuck did you just say?," I asked in disbelief. "You better watch your fucking mouth and show her some god-damn respect. You can say what you want about me, but don't you dare bad-mouth her. Any of you," I said pointedly turning around to address each and every one of them.

"And for the record, not that it's any of your business, but I've never _fucked,_ Isabella Black." Technically, that's not a lie. I haven't. Bella Swan on the other-hand... but that's beside the point.

"Oh give it a break, Masen. No need to give yourself an aneurysm. Tyler's just fucking with you. We all know you don't have a chance in hell with her. Isn't that right, guys?" Newton asked with determination.

What was it with this fucker? He's such a damn idiot that it's a wonder he can function. I'm beginning to wonder if he's even human or some random breed of some civilization scientists have yet to discover. Whatever he is, one day I'll have the last laugh on his stupid ass because, if I have my way, Bella and I _will_ be forever.

A chorus of "yeah's" and "of course's" and "he wishes" made the rounds of the locker room, breaking the tension. I stared at Newton, trying to figure out his angle. He was almost always the first to try and rattle me. He avoided my gaze, however. Finally I gave up, deciding to try and decipher his behavior at a later time. I had more important things to worry about, but first I needed to get upstairs and deal with Emmett's wrath.

Through the door of Emmett's office, I could hear loud and clear the lecture Milton Bradley was getting. "Look, I'm not your damn babysitter. But if you want to play on this team, you better start staying away from the clubs and the girls and focus on playing. Because your playing abilities are anything but acceptable at this point. You're lack of heart and lackadaisical attitude are an embarrassment to this club." There was a long stretch of silence before he continued. "You have nothing to say? Because you don't seem to have any problem running your mouth any other time. Just go. You're doing nothing but wasting my fucking time and my fucking money at this point, you little prick. You should know by now that those are two things I hate to have fucked with!"

Emmett opened the door to his office and practically pushed him out of it, before slamming it closed again. Bradley looked at me and smirked. God, he really was such an asshole.

I sat quietly for a few minutes trying to figure out what I was going to say to explain things to Emmett, when I heard his voice from the doorway. "Masen. Get in here."

Oddly he didn't sound nearly as mad as I was expecting. Was this the calm before the storm?

"Have a seat," he said before doing the same himself. He took several breaths, eying me uncomfortably before he spoke again.

"Ok, so this is how it's going to work. We're trying to keep the lies to a minimum here. If asked, you and Bella are friends. You met in high school, but haven't seen each other since then. You're dating history is irrelevant."

"Yes, sir," I answered and sat up a little straighter. This was not going at all as I had expected.

"Until the end of this season, you and Bella will keep your public interactions to a minimum. And under no circumstance will behavior like last night be acceptable. I don't care what the situation is or how upset with one another you are. In public, she is your boss. Plain and simple. Save the drama until you are alone.

"What happens in your private time together is your business. I like you, I really do. I've seen a change in Bella in the past month. A good one, one that she needs, so I'll support this… I'll support her. But Edward, she has a lot riding on this and I'm not about to let her give that up.

"If we can make it through this season without any problems, then we will figure out to handle a public announcement. This is going to be monstrous. It's going to cause a lot of waves in the baseball community. We have to deal with the commissioner, the player's union, the board, and the players on this team. Not to mention the public opinion of all this.

"So," he paused looking me directly in the eyes in a way that was a tad intimidating "are you ready for it? Because if you're not, you should end this now. I can't tell you what kind of impact this is going to have on your career and moral character. Are you willing to give this all up if it goes badly? To walk away from your contract? I mean, this is all worse case scenario stuff, but it really is something you need to consider. Aside from this, have you thought about the impact this will have on Bella because I'm telling you right now Edward, I don't know if she could survive if you were less than "all in" if you get what I mean. So, think about it long and hard. I don't expect an answer right now."

I sat up as straight as I could in the chair and looked back at him dead in the eye as I responded. "I don't need time to think about this. Bella is more important than any of that stuff to me. She's what makes my life worth living. I don't need any of this other stuff, as long as I have her. And just so you know, I'm not okay with her walking away from all this either. I told her so just this morning."

Emmett nodded. "Well, alright then. Whitlock can catch you up on the nitty-gritty details. And Edward... Be ready to play tomorrow."

And with that, our discussion was over. When all was said and done, Emmett and I both cared deeply about this one girl beyond all reason. Whether personally or professionally, it was safe to say that we both wanted nothing but her happiness and would stop at nothing to protect her from anything threatening to give her anything less than the happiness and success she deserved. It was at that moment that I knew more than ever that I would spend the rest of my life being the type of man she truly deserved.

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**A/N:** So, we're on the edge of seats to hear what you thought. Please leave us some love or even some hate (for taking so long to update—we deserve it).

And here is why this A/N is epicly long: We have tons of story recommendations considering we have been away for so long. It was almost impossible to narrow them down. In the end we decided to do one for each month we were gone. Let us know if you read any of them and what you think.

D Pattinson rec's:

**Unplanned Perfection by littlecat358**. Love this story! I actually squee every Thursday when I see it in my inbox. Bella and Alice were best friends, which made Bella the only girl off limits to Alice's brother, Edward. When a party the summer after graduation gets out of control, Bella's world is turned upside down. "He doesn't know. I don't want him to."

**A Quiet Fire by Magnolia822**. Super angsty, very well written. "But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning." Ten years after a tragedy parted them, childhood friends Edward and Bella meet again. Can what was lost be recovered?

And because I'm cheating here, check out her other story: **Strange Brew**. It's like the complete opposite. Funny and much lighter overall, so far. Soon-to-be college senior Bella Swan needs a summer job. Edward Cullen needs a worker for his new tasting room at Cullen Creek Brewery. She doesn't know much about beer, but she knows how to push his buttons.

**For Whom the Bell Tolls by CyraBear**. This is my vamp-fic rec, because every once in awhile I enjoy going back to the original premise of Twilight. There's a dusty old bookstore in Seattle where the proprietor keeps odd hours and knows the location of every book in his stock. What surprises hide in its stacks?

**The Last Breath by First Blush**. This story is complete and should have had way more reviews than it did. I love the author and how she provides a history lesson at the end of each chapter. She really does her homework. Please check it out. It's 1944, Edward awakes in a London field hospital. He's told his wife was in an air raid and did not survive. This sends Edward on a journey over two continents to find the love of his life, forgiveness for his past, and a joy he never even knew existed.

LZTZ rec's:

**A Room with a View by ShortHappyLife**. This story is super cute! Bella is working at Aro Volturi & Associates literary agency as a pre-reader/literary agent for Aro. Now, Aro isn't all too scary in this story and his bark is way worse than his bite. Bella, actually, is kind of his little pet in his eyes which Miss Bella uses to her advantage from time to time. In this same building, our favorite boy Edward is a hot-shot music attorney. So, it's no surprise that when Bella stumbles in the hall she just so happens to do so into one Edward, aka Mr. Hot Lawyer-Man. They are both immediately smitten with the other. After this chance hallway encounter, this story will lead you on a journey of them getting to know each other and will definitely leave you smiling from ear to ear.

**Perhaps Not to Be by mamasutra**. I must say that I love this story. It's super angsty from the start and has a great story line. Basically, Bella and Edward had a secret relationship in college/law school. While to the world and his girlfriend, Jessica, they were best friends, to them they were more. Now, it all sounds great until he ends up marrying Jessica (despite telling Bella he never wanted to) more for family reasons than love. Edward being himself, wants Bella to wait for him so he can basically have his cake and eat it too. Well, him getting married is the final straw for Bella, so she leaves Seattle and heads for California and eventually works for Tanya's law firm. Now, three years later, she is a kick-ass divorce attorney and is finding herself back in Seattle much to her dismay. So, you can guess what happens when she's out to dinner with Riley, Mike, and Tyler and see's Edward for the first time in three years. Let's just say, this is a tangled web of lies, deceit, and heartbreak that will keep you wanting more.

**Tie Me Here in Time by jadedandboring**. This story is wonderfully written! "Tie Me Here in Time" is a story about losing love and trying to find your way back. This story picks up Bella trying to put the pieces of her life together after loosing the love of her life Dexter. Being lost since his death, she has simply been going through the moments of her life trying to piece it all back together. Having a hard time moving on from his loss, she eventually has a chance meeting with Edward and that's when her life begins to change. This story is angsty and tough at times to read, especially with Bella's pain, but it will take you on a journey of how to find yourself and how to love again. This is the sequel to The Kübler Ross Model.


	18. Give All My Secrets Away

**Author's Note: Hello and welcome back! I hope we stood up to our word and didn't make you wait too long. We're digging a little deeper this chapter, which I know many of you have been waiting for. Baby steps, folks!**

**This chapter references an outtake that was written for my dear friend, snshyne in the FGB: New Moon edition. It's not really necessary that you read it but if you want more background check it out. It's the first chapter of "The Hot Corner: Outtakes" listed on our profiles. If you haven't read her story and you love angst, please check out Fate and Forgotten Secrets.**

**Any mistakes here are ours, as I'm too impatient to wait to post. **

**Disclaimer: As always we don't own these characters but we do own this particular storyline, so we ask you kindly not to borrow or steal it without our permission.**

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**The Hot Corner**

**Chapter 18: Give All My Secrets Away**

**Chapter Songs****:**

**_Jealous Guy by Gavin DeGraw _**(And yes, I know this song was originally done by John Lennon, I just happen to like this version better for this chapter)

**_Secrets_ by _One Republic_**

**_One More Try _by**_** Timmy T**_

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_******_**Edward POV****

Technically, I should have left Emmett's office and gone straight out of the clubhouse, but seeing my girl, if only for a minute or two to make sure she was doing okay, was worth any run-ins with the press. However, when I reached her office the blinds to her windows were closed, as was the door, so I decided to simply take the chance and knock.

"It's open, Em," came her voice from behind the wall.

I peeked my head inside the door and saw her leaning up against her desk jotting down notes on a pad of paper. While this was going on, Rose was sitting in her desk chair busy talking on the phone. The thing that caught my attention, though, was that she was so focused on her task at hand that she didn't even realize it was me who walked in the door. Even after all of these years, I would know this type of behavior anywhere. She was a woman on a mission and I, for one, knew to stay out her way when she had her mind set on whatever goal she was obviously concentrating on.

Although I knew she had yet to really see that it was me who entered her office, I couldn't get over the fact that she looked damn amazing. Her hair hung in dark, wet waves down her back. Her make-up was minimal, probably from being washed away by the rain. I loved her like this. She looked so innocent and young- much like she did in high school. It was at that moment that I realized that I loved her more now than I ever thought possible. Sure, we had a ways to go before we really knew these new versions of ourselves, but that didn't stop the fact that Bella was my only love.

Taking in her appearance a bit more, I finally noticed what she was actually wearing. She had on a ruffled cream-colored blouse that was accented by a black tie at the waist showing her natural curves. Her slender legs were showcased in her tight jeans and black heeled shoes that literally made her legs look like they went on for miles. Fuck me; this woman is going to be the death of me in every sense of the word.

"We've got that meeting scheduled for tomorrow right after the game," Bella said as she turned her head. A huge smile broke out on her face when she met my eyes finally noticing that it was me that had knocked on the door a few minutes ago. "Hey," she greeted me. I thought you were going to be Emmett. Did you just meet with him?"

I had to clear my throat just to get my voice working again. Apparently she rendered my dumb-ass speechless by one simple look. "Yeah. I just wanted to stop in and make sure you were okay. Everyone else from the team already left, so I figured we'd probably be safe. Also, I wanted to see if we were still going to get together today? I wasn't sure if you would have time with all this work stuff," I said tentatively, eyeing Rose.

Truthfully, after listening to all of Emmett's concerns with how this relationship could effect us, I was a little scared. Not in my own decision, mind you. I loved playing baseball, but in reality it was just a job which, at most, I had another good ten good years left. Injuries could happen at any time and talent, strength and speed could wane quickly with age. And though I'd been frivolous with my car purchase, (for fuck's sake, I am a guy for crying out loud), over the years I had been pretty frugal with my money. It's because of this that I had more than enough to live comfortably off of for the remainder of my life. As a result, I knew without question I could, and would, give it up for a much brighter future with the woman I loved. She was worth it… we were worth it.

My fear, however, was that Bella might change her own mind. Her sudden declaration this morning was a little shocking to me. Truthfully, I thought I might have blown the whole thing with us- between the public outburst, fight with her Uncle, and then the drunken stupor she had to pull me out of in the middle of the night. Not that I would have blamed her in the slightest. The truth of the matter was that those actions were certainly not my best moments and I most definitely would have deserved it had she decided to say "fuck it all" and be done with us forever. I held onto her with all my strength throughout the night, knowing it could have been the last time I had with her. When I woke up alone in her bed, I couldn't help but think the worst. However, when I heard her on the phone and I was rendered practically speechless. I believed her when she said she loved me, the look in her eyes was undeniable, but the reality of what she might have to give up or endure to be with me, may have made her rethink her decision. Bella was always a "stick to the plan" type of girl. Once her mind was made up, there was no turning back. She always stayed the course, so to speak, so in those few moments I could only hope that her course was leading her back to me.

Bella smirked at my unease, beckoning me into the office with her pointer finger. "I missed you," she said quietly pulling my hand to bring me closer to her. She stood up from the desk and gave me a small kiss on the lips. "I'm glad you're here. I was hoping to reintroduce you to Rose. Officially," she smiled.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my forehead on the top of her head and just breathed her in. This was all the answer I needed to settle my apprehension. We were going to make this work, one way or another.

"You look beautiful by the way," I whispered to her.

She looked up and smiled shyly. "Thank you," she whispered back before kissing my cheek.

"You two are going to make me gag if I have to watch this any longer," Rose suddenly interrupted. "Not that I'm not happy for you and all, but fuck, step away from the love bubble for just a few minutes."

Bella snickered. "Edward, meet my college roommate and best friend, Rosalie. Rose this is my boyfriend, Edward. God, that sounds funny. Boyfriend sounds so juvenile all of a sudden, doesn't it?"

I shrugged completely blissed out by her introduction. Honestly, I couldn't care what she called me, as long as she claimed me as her's. Shit, I was starting to sound like a girl. Apparently, love's got the effect on a person.

I wasn't quite sure what to make of Rose yet. I hadn't had much interaction with her other than the night at the club, which wasn't exactly positive to say the least. Bella and I had been dating for about a month and she had yet to make an appearance. However, Bella constantly spoke of how generous and loyal she was as a friend. The best of friends one could ask for, she had once said. And considering she was engaged to Emmett, I had to believe that she must have a decent sense of humor to boot. I was hoping she was just one of those people you had to work a little harder to win over. For Bella, I was certainly up to the challenge.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Rosalie," I said extending my hand toward her. "I've heard many good things from both Bella and Emmett."

Rose stared at my outstretched hand, making no move to meet it.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale," Bella snapped, giving her a look and raised eyebrow.

So yeah, not the best of starts with the best friend. Though I had to give her some credit, because she was obviously a little ballsy. I certainly wouldn't intentionally put myself on the receiving end of Bella's bitch-brow.

"Oh, alright. Don't give me that look, Swan. I'll play nice," she answered exasperated. "And that full name nonsense was hardly necessary."

She rolled her eyes, but turned back to me extending her hand. "You make Bella happy, so... It's nice to meet you, too," she added grudgingly.

I couldn't help but smirk a little at her reaction as I reached back and shook her hand. Bella being bossy was kind of hot. Thinking that Rosalie would be on her best behavior and play nice, I was taken by complete surprise when she tightened her hand into a death grip. I gasped out-loud. Jesus Christ, this girl was so ridiculously strong it was almost embarrassing. Then again, I suppose one would have to know how to hold their own if they were dating a brute like Emmett.

She smirked right back at me after my reaction. "You do anything to hurt her again, and I will make sure you die a slow and painful death. Got it?," she added with a snide smile.

I nodded. Somehow I didn't doubt this threat in the slightest. When Rosalie talked, you could tell she meant business. It was clear that she'd take your balls and hang them out to dry if she felt the need. Well game on, as I had no intention of hurting Bella again. I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm not an idiot either. I do tend to learn from my mistakes.

She seemed appeased with my answer, the menacing smile fading into something a little sweeter before she let go. Even though she was a bit scary, I was glad Bella had someone like Rose looking out for her. Everyone needed a friend in their corner and I was grateful that Rose was a pit-bull in her fierceness for her.

Bella merely grumbled and rolled her eyes at the whole interaction and her friend's antics. "You should probably get going. Can I meet you over at your place in about an hour?," she asked.

"Are you okay to leave here on your own?"

I worried about her getting hounded by the press on her way out. Bella was never one for a public attention.

"I'll be fine. Em's going to walk out to the car with me."

I leaned down to kiss her on the lips tentatively. The public, or somewhat public, displays were something we were still getting used to. I wasn't really sure what was or was not appropriate for us but I guess that was something that we would learn together in time. However, Bella responded enthusiastically. It was like a little slice of heaven every time. "Okay, I'll see you soon then, Love. Don't keep me waiting long," I added in a whisper, a little lower for only her to hear.

I kept my head down and my mouth shut as I made my way through the barrage of reporters waiting at the exit. I figured I'd let Emmett and Bella take the lead on this story however I couldn't help but chuckle at a few of the questions and statements that I heard. I wondered where they heard some of the shit that they throw out and asked. Did they even listen to themselves when they talked? The one I liked most was whether or not Alec was my gay lover, who had stepped out on me. _Seriously?_ There had been a hell of a lot of rumors about me over the years, but this was definitely the most ridiculous. Inwardly chuckling, I hypothesized that this one was probably started by that damn bartender from last night who kept trying to hit on me over at that dive bar. I really need to learn to be a little more selective with my hang outs.

When I reached my condo, I picked up a little and steeled myself to get ready to talk about my past, her past, and our past. I spent so many years burying it, trying to hide from it, just so that I could make it through the day and now here we were ready to dig it all back up. I'm man enough to admit that it scared the shit out of me. It's never pleasant having a conversation with the one person you love knowing that your words have the potential to cause pain. Bella had already suffered enough because of my actions, the last thing she needed was for me to cause her beautiful soul any more heartache.

She finally arrived a little over an hour later. Not going to lie, I was starting to sweat thinking she may have changed her mind after all.

"Sorry I'm late. I wanted to run home and change into something more comfortable. I figured it might be a long day," she added sheepishly. "I picked up some sushi on my way over. Hope that's okay with you. I guess I probably should have called to ask."

"Sushi's great. Haven't had it in a while. Let me get us some plates."

I headed into the kitchen and grabbed some plates, napkins and glasses. I considered grabbing a bottle of wine, but since I was already such a fuck up for getting so drunk before our almost game today, I figured I should probably try and correct that. Bella technically _did_ own my ass and, despite our history, I wanted to make my boss happy.

As I walked back into the living room, I noticed Bella had set up a smorgasbord of sushi out on my coffee table. "Wow! You must have been hungry," I laughed at her. There was enough food to feed us for a damn week. "I grabbed some water, but I could grab you something else if you like."

"No, water's fine. Thanks. I wasn't really sure what you liked, so I just sort of ordered everything. In hindsight, another reason why I probably should have called before picking it up."

And there was that beautiful blush that I loved. "This is really great, Baby. Thanks for thinking of it."

We sat and ate in silence for a few minutes. Neither one of us in any hurry to ruin the comfortable little atmosphere we had established since this morning.

Finally, Bella sat her plate and chopsticks down. She sighed and then cleared her throat. "So..." she started, biting her lip for a moment while she considered her words. "About last night. I guess what I need to understand is why you would have doubted me? I mean things were going really well with us and I know we were taking it slow, but I don't know, I just... don't get what I did so wrong to make you doubt my feelings."

Her eyes met mine reluctantly as she finished and I hated the pain that I saw there, especially knowing it was me who had done that. I reached out and grabbed a hand from her lap rubbing my thumb soothingly across the top.

"You didn't do anything, Bella. I'm sorry." I looked down at our hands and took a deep breath, willing myself to begin my confessions. "My feelings for you are so deep and... well sometimes, I just get carried away with them. Until this morning, I honestly didn't know where we stood with each other. I had no way of knowing if you felt the same way about me as I did about you. The way your face lit up when you were talking to Alec, shit, I imagined the worst. I never meant to hurt you. I just," I stopped carefully considering my next words for a moment. "Well, I missed you so damn much when you left. My life went to such shit after that and I honestly didn't know which way was up. And then, suddenly I found you again. And though it hasn't been easy, it just feels so fucking right. Like the axis of my life has finally shifted and is balanced once again. I'm petrified of going back to who I was before," I admitted.

"I get that," she whispered. "And, I feel that way too. In fact, when you saw me at the restaurant, I was talking to Alec about _you_. You are the only person, who makes my face light up like that. It has always been you, Edward and it will only ever _be_ you."

"It's nice to know that," I smiled and softly kissed her hand. "I feel like such a complete jack ass for the way I behaved."

Sadly, she smiled back at me before starting to chew on the inside of her cheek. "To be fair, you're the one who cheated on _me_, Edward. I've never done anything to make you feel the need to be jealous."

And while that truth hurt so fucking bad, I also knew it was true. It was now time for me to man up, so to speak, and lay it all out on the line for her. She deserved that and if we were ever going to get to the forever we were meant to have, this was a conversation that couldn't be put off any longer.

Considering this for a moment, I finally said "Maybe not directly. But there is always some guy I feel like I'm competing with in your life. Jacob, for instance. I know he was one of your closest friends for a long time before we ever met. And honestly, I tried, Bella. I tried to be his friend. But he _never_ had innocent "friend" feelings toward you. I don't know why you couldn't see that. He had no interest in playing nice with me. Instead, he tried over and over to worm himself into the middle of our relationship. And of course now there is that douchebag, Mike Newton. You have some kind of odd relationship with that tool that I don't even understand."

Bella sat up straight before interrupting. "Please. That's hardly the case. We'll get to Mike later, but Jacob was never anything other than a good friend. And yes, maybe he did have feelings for me, but he never tried to do anything to break us up."

"Didn't he?," I questioned, a little flabbergasted. "Perhaps I've just read too much into the situation over the years. But... Ok, first off, let me make it clear, that while I'm about to say something that will probably piss you off; I'm not trying to push all the blame off on him or anyone else when I clearly have to shoulder the responsibility for my own actions. But, you've never found it the least bit concerning that Jacob invited Lauren to the prom?"

I stared deeply into her eyes before continuing. "Jacob couldn't stand Lauren. _We_ couldn't stand Lauren. She was the biggest bitch in our class. She hated you for no other reason other than that I wasn't interested in her. That girl hated not having her own way.

"And, apparently Jacob hated not having his own way also," I continued in a huff. "Sure, maybe you had discussed going to the prom together when you were both single- makes perfect sense. But you _weren't_ single, Bella. What we had was unexpected, but he should have been happy for you. God-forbid you actually be able to go to the prom with your boyfriend.

"Then once you tell him you're going with me, he pulls some lame, bitch-ass move and tries to make you feel guilty about it. Which is fucking bullshit by the way. What kind of fucking friend does that? Next thing you know, he saddles himself up with her Royal Bitchness, claiming they have so much in common. And then, boom! They're an item," I add sarcastically.

Bella rolled her eyes at my explanation. I could tell that she was getting ready to speak, but I wasn't done. These were all things that needed to be said if we were ever going to make the most of the second chance that we had obviously been given.

"Wait, let me finish before you say anything. Okay?"

She gave me a bitch brow, but acquiesced, so I continued.

"Thank you," I added more calmly trying to settle myself. "So, my point is how utterly convenient it all was when Jacob wanted alone time with you the night of the bonfire. How convenient that, while I will adamantly admit that I was trying to forget shit in my own life that night, I remember drinking only like three beers. Three, Bella! Hardly enough to make me black out.

"You know, I was counting down the minutes for you to arrive at that party. I wanted to talk to you so badly. It just doesn't make any sense," I commented sadly. "Sure I was wishing you were there with me, rather than with him at that time, but I wasn't mad, Bella. I had no reason to even_ consider_ trying to do something to make you jealous. How the hell, I ended up under a blanket and messing around with a girl who I despised makes absolutely no sense to me. None."

Bella's eyes were glistening and a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Feeling the need to comfort her, I gently wiped it away with my thumb.

"I'm sorry I upset you, Baby, really I am. Maybe I'm paranoid about that night. Maybe I want to be able to blame someone else. I don't know, Bella. I loved you. I loved you so much it rendered me speechless at times. Hell, it still fucking does. I just can't fathom ever being able to hurt you like that if I was of sound mind. You were everything to me. You're _still_ everything to me," I added quietly wiping tears from my own eyes.

"It's just, they both got what they wanted, right? Lauren got to say she stole me away from you, and when you left me, Jacob got to step in and be the hero. He got to be that shoulder you cried on. It just all seems a little too convenient in my mind."

Bella sat quietly for a while, tears still sliding down her cheeks. She was fucking killing me with her silence now that I was ready to hear her thoughts. The thinking and contemplating her brain was obviously doing made me wish I could read her mind. She wrung her hands in her lap as it was clear she was trying to find the words to say to me.

"This," she swallowed, "is a lot. It's too much to consider all right now, but I'm not blowing you off," she added quickly. "Let me just sit on it for a few days, ok?"

I nodded.

"You said something in the middle of all that. Something about you wanting to forget stuff in your own life. What did you mean by that?," Bella questioned.

I hesitated, staring deep into those soulful chocolate eyes. I was definitely purging my heart this evening. Looking back, I had no real explanation for not just telling her about my father to begin with. Maybe if I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation at the moment. But, I was young and didn't want the beautiful girl I loved knowing that I wasn't as strong as I appeared. I guess, you could say, my pride simply got in the way.

"You know how you said you didn't tell me about your grandfather owning the Cubs, because you didn't want me to like you for the wrong reasons?"

Bella bit her lip once more. "Ah, yeah. That was really stupid in hindsight. Sure, maybe it wasn't the way to lead off an introduction, but after a while, I knew you well enough to know you weren't with me for your own benefit." She snickered, "Well maybe some stuff in our relationship benefitted you, but you know what I mean."

I laughed a little too. It helped to lessen the mood for a moment.

"You weren't the only one who did that, Bella. When I came to Forks, I wanted very much to fit in, even if it was only for a few months. At first, I really only cared about the guys on the team, because I really wanted to enjoy my last season of high school baseball. I needed something in my life that was pleasurably predictable and that I could rely on. But, then I met you, and shit, I just couldn't stand it if I thought you only cared for me out of pity."

She furrowed her brows in silent question at me.

Taking a deep breath, I dove into the past. "You know how my Dad only came to a few home games? I always said he was busy with work. Truth was, he hadn't worked in quite some time. We actually moved to Forks, because my father fell in love with the dense greenery and nature surrounding it years before." I swallowed. Talking about my father and his illness had never been easy for me.

"My father was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease, it's a type of leukemia, when I was 13 years old. He did chemo and radiation and the doctor's told us it was gone. And it was, for a few years anyway. About four years later, he started noticing the symptoms again. Chronic fatigue, night sweats, the incessant itching and eventually he noticed the swollen lymph node in his neck. He started back on therapy again, but it just wasn't working. He was so weak and miserable. Then he sat us down and told us he just didn't want to do it anymore."

I couldn't stop the tears that were freely falling at this point, so I just continued.

"He told us that the medicine was killing him anyway and he just didn't want to die like that. My mom sort of flipped out at first. It was so hard to see them fighting over stuff like that. They never fought. And, my father was like my hero. Heroes aren't supposed to just give up, you know? I was 17 years-old. Why did it have to be my dad who was dying? How come everyone else got to keep theirs for years? It just wasn't fair."

Bella crawled over on the couch. Positioning herself sideways over my lap and just held me. Such a simple gesture but it meant the world to me. She always knew what I needed even when I didn't want to admit it to myself. She was my home, she was my safe harbor, and it was she who gave me the courage to keep talking. I swiped at my tears with the back of my hand and continued.

"Anyway, eventually my mother accepted his wishes. She wanted to see him happy again, even if it meant she might have even more limited time with him. He wanted to move to Forks. He said if he was going to die, he wanted to do it somewhere he felt connected to the earth. Somewhere he felt peace; not the hustle-bustle of the big city. So we just uprooted ourselves and moved.

"It never bothered me to have to do it, though. I'm sure many people my age wouldn't have wanted to start a new school with only a few months left until graduation, but it was never even a consideration to me. Whatever would make him happy, I was willing to do.

"Then I met you. And you were the light in my life, my sun. Giving me a reason to wake up every morning and just keep living. You made all the darkness in my life just seem so much more bearable. I didn't want to tell you about him at first, because I just wanted you to like me for me, not because you felt bad for me.

"It was stupid, Bella. I regret it every day. There were so many times I tried to tell you, but then, I would just get choked up and at the time I thought maybe it was better that you didn't know. Being with you was like an escape. I didn't have to think about him all the time.

"Which again, I realize is truly fucked up, especially since you would have been able to relate to me on some level. Your father may not have been sick when he passed, but you certainly knew about how to cope with losing a parent. You undoubtedly understood the unfairness of it all. But I was stubborn and my coping mechanisms were shit," I laughed sadly.

Bella sat quietly through the story, just letting me get it all out. She ran her hand lightly through the base of my hair, scratching ever so softly. The intimate gesture relaxing me infinitesimally.

"Our last week together, was when he really started going downhill. He was on Hospice and they had him on so many pain medications to make him comfortable. I could see him slipping away more and more every day. Somedays, he was too exhausted to even talk for a few minutes. It was killing me."

I sighed. "Like I said, I really didn't know how to cope with my feelings. I picked fights with you. I got jealous of your friendship with Jake. And yeah, worst of all, I gave you an ultimatum, asked you to choose between us. That wasn't right of me. I knew it then. But I was so desperate for you, for our love, I didn't care.

"Looking back it's embarrassing. I was so fucking desperate for that insanely powerful connection we've always had but I didn't know how to ask you for it. Somehow, I just expected you to know that I needed it. How the hell would you know that though?

"So the night of the bonfire, I was waiting to talk to you about him. I knew how much I messed up by not telling you sooner. You weren't just my girlfriend or the love of my life; you were also my best friend and confidant. And I knew you would have let me vent, or cry, or complain, or whatever the fuck I needed, without complaint because that's just who you are. I pictured myself sitting by the ocean with you, alone and in the dark, the waves crashing up on the shore. It seemed like it would be so easy to open up to you there about him and to apologize for my actions earlier in the week. And then, well the rest is history, because I don't know what the fuck happened that night, but it was nothing how I imagined it going."

Closing my eyes and breathing deeply into the side of her neck, I inhaled the scent that is uniquely Bella. I couldn't really look at her. The pain of those days, so many years ago, once again hit me like a freight train. It was like it was happening all over again. I had to remind myself that she was really here and in my arms with me.

"Then you were gone and so was my light, my warmth. Within three days of all that fucking mess, my father was gone too. I couldn't handle being in that town without you. Christ, I begged Jake to give me your new number. _Begged_. It was pathetic to tell you the truth. I literally felt like I couldn't breathe without you, Bella. And Angela, too. She at least told me you were in Chicago, but that was it.

"Everything was just gone, empty, devoid of life. After a few weeks, my mom said she couldn't take it anymore. Forks just made her depressed with all the rain, and without you, there was nothing there for me anymore either. So we packed up and moved back to San Diego. A few weeks after that I left for USC and simply tried to survive through the day," I finished.

Bella lifted my chin and searched deep into my eyes. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Edward. I honestly never knew. Your father was always a little on the... pale side?," she said a little uncertainly. I laughed because the comment was somewhat inappropriate, but at the same time it was a little true. And she was just inundated with information. I'm sure she was a little out of sorts.

"I'm sorry that was... I don't even know what I was thinking when I said that," she added quickly. "But the point was, I never even thought about him being sick. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I really wish you would have told me about him. I can't say for sure now, but I'd like to think I might have been more patient with you. Especially that last week. And I would have loved knowing that I could be a shoulder for you.

"We, uh, shit, we both made so many mistakes, Edward. At the time, I thought we were so strong together, but maybe we weren't. We obviously didn't talk to each other nearly as much as we should have. And as much as I wanted to think that we were adults, I know now how truly immature we were at that time.

"The way I left you was unforgivable, honestly. I should never have left you like that," she stated with conviction.

"It's in the past, Bella. And now that we have found each other, I really just want to move forward. I want nothing more than to give it another try, because this time, we both know what life is like without one another. It's lonely and cold." I hugged her tightly to me simply wanting to feel her warmth. "I can't go back to that. I fucking won't."

"Well I don't relish the thought of going back there either, but there is stuff I need to confess to you too Edward. It's important."

"You're right, Love. I just hate rehashing it and all the hurt that comes from it. It's like I'm losing you and him all over again and it kills me a little more every time. Even when I can see you here and feel you with me now, I still feel like you're going to vanish in the blink of an eye."

I thought for a minute, because I was so emotionally raw and wasn't really sure how much I could handle of her own confessions today. Though I doubted her's were more than mere tremors on what I had already placed on the Richter scale.

Taking a deep breath, I looked into her eyes and asked "Tell me about Jacob? How you ended up together. I remember you mentioned he was ill. What made you marry him? I guess just talk about your marriage in general, because I'm not sure I really understand it."

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, a little bit of a cliffie there at the end, but it just seemed a natural place to break this chapter. If I'd have let them both talk this chapter would have been monstrous and I'm trying to avoid that if possible. Let me know what you thought. This was a REALLY hard chapter to write and I could use some encouragement.**

**So, before we get to story recs for this chapter, I just wanted to say a heartfelt "thank you" to Amber, aka 107yearoldvirgin, who has decided to step away from fanfiction. She has blessed us with a multitude of amazing fics since she started with this fandom. She has an amazing sense of humor and all her characters are so realistic and relatable. If you haven't read any of her stories, I strongly recommend that you do. If you go to her profile, she has a link to her blog where all the stories will remain in pdf version. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors, BB. We'll miss you!**

***D Pattinson rec: So after reading this chapter, you could all probably use a dose of laughter. Here is one that I am truly enjoying. The story is called "Suspicions: The Tale of the Maybe Vampire" and is written by IrishLoveForever ~ www . fanfiction . net/s/5894242/1/ **

**Geeky Bella has a theory. She suspects that popular Edward Cullen is not who he claims to be. Are her crazy speculations true or will she be left feeling foolish? Most importantly, how far is she willing to go to prove herself accurate? This Bella is so unbelievably socially awkward, but she is like a rock star in her own mind. ****It literally makes me chuckle out loud at least three times each update. I have no idea if she will end up proving her experiment or not, but it is definitely worth a read.**

*******LZTZ rec: We're sticking with a lighthearted theme here. "Air" by Rochelle Allison ~ www . fanfiction . net/s/6817781/1/Air  
This story is completely sweet as sugar! Meeting at a birthday b-b-q for Edward's sister Kate, Bella is instantly taken with him and I guess you could say the same for him. Now, this may seem like the "typical" story but it's got a twist to it. Edward's a 29 year old architect and Bella is a 19 year old college student at Berkley. Despite the age difference, these two really work well together. If you're looking for a story that's just plain sweet, updates rather quickly (usually multiple times a week), and is perfectly written than "Air" is the one for you.  
**


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